CHAPTER 15 - One more day, a new life


Vadim Kiselev - "Another Day", "Une autre vie" (fr. Another life)


If someone had told her ten years ago that in September 1789 she would be sitting on the terrace of a cottage in a small village in New Aquitaine, teaching her own child to read and write, she would have laughed in his face or thought someone was crazy. And yet for over a week, almost every day, that was exactly what she had been doing.

When she told Andre one day that she would like to teach Lusien, he only snorted contemptuously at first and didn't even reply. When she asked him again a day later, he stared sternly at her face, as if judging whether she was serious.

- You don't have to sacrifice. I'll teach him myself - he said coldly.

- What are you talking about? - she pouted - What sacrifice? It's ridiculous. Anyway, you don't have time for it and you know it well.

Andre muttered something angrily under his breath and didn't answer.

- A child should learn, Andre - Oscar continued - It's not a problem for me.

- Why should he learn - Andre was indignant - I was learning and what actually came from it. A commoner will always remain a commoner. And we don't need education to work hard.

Oscar felt a slight pain in her heart as Andre's words were bitter and full of disappointment.

- France is changing, Andre - she said calmly - Don't let Lusien miss a chance because of your stupid prejudices.

Andre's eyes darkened with anger for a moment and his breathing quickened. He glared at her, but then he controlled himself.

- I'll think about it - he replied, and left.

The next day, however, he went to Chavigny and brought back a large bundle of blank paper, writing utensils, and an old ABC-book. He handed it all to Oscar and said only:

- Don't disappoint him.

Before the first lesson, Oscar looked at a book and tried to extract, from the depths of her mind, the memories of the lessons she had taken when she was a child. She was never a very diligent student, and the memories were distant, but she decided that she would do her best. They started with vowels and the first numbers. Within a few days, Oscar was surprised that she had no trouble with teaching, and her patience with an active and constantly distracted Lusien was inexhaustible. Perhaps the years when she was a commander and had to teach her subordinates paid off. It wasn't exactly the same, of course, but she was sure some teaching methods did not change, whether it was for young children or spoiled adults.

Oscar also noted with surprise that she actually liked children very much. This was perfectly obvious with her own child, but she also liked the other kids in the neighborhood who came to play with Lusien. The children were nice and always greeted her smiling broadly. She often sat reading them fairy tales or answering all sorts of questions. They also went to the orchard together to pick fruits or to the river to see the frogs. Admittedly, Andre had always been ironic not to be too overprotective because Lusien could go alone, but she preferred to go and make sure he was okay. Of course, she knew it was completely stupid, because the boy had been perfectly fine for the past four years without her care, but she couldn't help it. When she thought that someone might hurt him or that he would stumble and fall into the water..

The children here accepted her without any problems. They called her aunt, and they hugged her against her lap as she sat down. The more courageous tried to climb on her back and asked her to pretend to be a horse. She enjoyed it a lot, so if she felt good, she tried to play with them for a while.

On that day, for the first time, she had one more child in addition to Lusien. The girl's name was Genevieve, she was about Lusien's age, and lived in the house next door. The day before, her mother had come to Oscar and asked her if she could teach her daughter as well. They themselves were illiterate farmers, but they dreamed that their daughter would get an education. Of course, the chance for this was small, because the family did not have enough money to send the girl to college. However, if Genevieve could read and write, she would have at least the chance to attend school at the abbey in neighboring Fontgombault. Oscar agreed without hesitation, and from the next day the girl joined their group. She was now sitting next to them with a very serious expression and was staring with great interest at Oscar, explaining to her how to hold a pen and how to fill it with ink. As the day was warm, Oscar ordered the end of the class less than an hour later and let the children run around the garden and play. The girl often came to them during the day, when her parents were working in the fields and the children became friends. Oscar sat for a moment longer, watching them carelessly chase each other, laughing and tickling. It was such a touching sight.

A knock on the door broke her reverie. When she opened, on the threshold of the house she saw Ella and a girl she did not know.

- Good morning, mademoiselle Francoise - Ella greeted her, and the girl standing beside her mumbled her "good morning" as well, blushing a little with embarrassment.

- Good morning, Ella - Oscar smiled and extended her hand to her in greeting - What brings you to us?

- Could we talk for a moment? - the other asked with a little hesitation.

- Of course! - Oscar replied in surprise and invited both women inside.

They sat down at the table and there was silence in the room. Oscar studied Ella for a moment. The girl rarely visited them now, hardly ever. She knew Ella and Andre were dating, riding horses, and going to Chavigny's market together once a week. But Ella no longer came to see them every few days, only once a week at most. She had played with Lusien most of the day then, and in the evening she and Andre were sitting in the garden talking. From time to time Oscar watched them from behind, marveling with a twinge of envy at their natural and sincere bond. Looking at them, she knew well that the feelings she had started to cultivate in her heart would never be revealed. She had hurt Andre badly enough in the past and she was never going to do it again.

- Mademoiselle? - she heard a question suddenly and saw Ella's dark eyes staring at herself with consternation. The girl seemed to have started to say something earlier, but Oscar hadn't even heard her, lost in her own thoughts.

- I'm sorry - she replied, blushing - Did you ask about something?

- I heard from Andre - Ella said once again - that you teach Lusien reading and writing. I also heard that you agreed to teach little Genevieve. And then I thought to myself .. - she broke off, glancing at the young girl sitting next to her, who was nervously twisting her fingers. - I know it's probably not the same. Teaching young children is easier. But maybe you would agree to learn Sabine too..

Oscar stared at her in amazement. The request was so surprising that for a moment she could not utter a word. She looked at Sabine and tried to judge her age. The girl was probably seventeen or eighteen. She was actually an adult.

- Sabine is my neighbor - Ella continued - Her parents have a little vineyard behind the castle, maybe you've seen it before. They are old now and worried about the future of their daughter and her brother. They would like her to get at least a little education. Perhaps that might help her get married better.

The girl huffed at what Oscar noticed.

- Nice to meet you, Sabine - she extended her hand - How old are you?

- I'm sixteen, ma'am - the other replied quietly, squeezing her hand but not looking at it at all.

- Would you like to learn? - Oscar asked again.

- My parents.. - the girl began.

- No, I'm not asking about your parents - Oscar interrupted her - I'm asking about you. Do you want to learn?

Sabine raised her head and looked at her a little boldly.

- If I could read and write, I could escape this miserable hole and live in Paris - she blurted out in one breath.

- I understand - Oscar said - You could help your parents run the vineyard too, couldn't you?

The girl gave her a confused look, but nodded.

- Okay, come back tomorrow morning. We'll see how it goes - Oscar replied firmly.

Sabine smiled shyly in response.

After a short chat about the weather and the harvest, Oscar escorted the two women to the door. Before they said goodbye, Ella grabbed her hands and shook her enthusiastically.

- Thank you very much, Madamoiselle Francoise! You don't even know how important it is to all of us!

- No problem - Oscar was embarrassed - And call me by name, okay?

Ella's smile widened even more.

- Great! - she said happily.

When they left, Oscar leaned heavily against the wall beside the door. She thought deeply for a moment about the scene she had just experienced, and then she started laughing. Really honestly.

Oscar Francois de Jarjayes. Former commander of Her Majesty's Guard and now a teacher in Angles. Life, however, was completely surprising.

Sabine did come to class the next day, and a few days later her brother Roland, an eight-year-old boy, joined her, as well as a friend – Maud, a fifteen years old girl, whose father was a baker. Finally, Sabine brought to a lesson her beloved nineteen-year-old Marcel, who was an assistant at Mr. Moreau's mill. Finally, another sibling joined the class, ten-year-old Pauline and five-year-old Michel, whose parents were very poor farmers.

As a result, the class grew to eight. The children were of different ages, so Oscar had to divide the study between them skillfully. The older ones were able to concentrate longer, but the exercise itself was slower for them. Younger children needed more breaks, but they caught everything in flight and were more enthusiastic. Lessons were held three or four times a week on mornings, at Grandier's house. Since the table on the terrace could not accommodate that many people, they moved inside and learned at the kitchen table. They also had to borrow a few chairs. The lesson usually lasted an hour, and when they finished, Marie gave everyone a cup of hot grain coffee and a cookie as a reward for a good job. Sometimes, if the day was warm and sunny, Oscar took the group for a walk. The children ran and frolicked around, the young ones talked about various topics and asked questions, and Oscar tried to answer them as best she could. Thanks to this, they got to know each other better and learning went better each day. On these walks, Lusien often took Oscar by the hand and walked beside her with a triumphant expression. Almost every day, without any embarrassment, he admitted how proud he was that his aunt was so beautiful and smart. He stared at her then, his eyes wide open, shining with love, and Oscar felt the emotion pressing her throat every time. Lusien was a lovely and very clever boy. Her pride and joy. Sometimes she wondered sadly if that day would ever come when she would be able to tell him she was his mother..

Andre looked at all of her actions at first with utter amazement and suspicion. He happened to pop into the house a few times while he should be at work, as if he wanted to check if she was doing exactly what she was talking about later. Oscar got angry with him and kicked him out of the house every time, saying that he was distracting her students. Andre laughed as carelessly as he had ever laughed since she had come to Angles. A familiar laugh that she remembered from her former life. So ordinary then and so exciting now. Oscar had to be careful though. When her gaze followed Andre's figure for too long or lingered at the closed door behind him for too long, Sabine and Maud began to shoot each other meaningful glances and giggle. The girls were very perceptive, and that was dangerous. If anyone found out..

After a while, Andre started talking to her about teaching. He came to sit next to her sometimes while she was preparing the materials for the next lesson, and he watched with curiosity and then asked about something or gave some advice. Andre's imagination always gave him some good ideas to diversify her lessons. From his weekly trip to the market, he had brought her a few more books to use in their little school, and more paper and writing utensils. He handed it all proudly, neatly wrapped, like the most wonderful of gifts.

- Next time you have to come with me - he said suddenly, not meeting her eyes.

- With you? To Chavigny? - she asked surprised.

- Yes - he replied firmly - You should buy yourself something new to wear. You can't wear the same dresses over and over again.

Oscar froze and looked at him with an expression of utter amazement, trying to judge whether he was joking with her or whether he was serious. If his words were sincere, maybe she could still hope..

- Why are you looking at me like that? - Andre said, seeing her gaze, then added sarcastically - Don't imagine too much. I just think a teacher should look neat. That's all.

Every day with Andre was just like that. Once he was kind and sweet, helpful and caring, and only in a moment he turned into someone who was indifferent and cold and his words hurt. As if there were two Andres inside him, fighting each other. If only it was in her power, Oscar would chase that dark, dispassionate Andre to regain the kind man who had once been her friend. But Oscar didn't have such strength. She was no longer an all-powerful commander, she was no longer a respected noblewoman. She was only a weak woman, dependent on the kindness of these people.

Nevertheless, she did not break down. Because the life she was leading now was completely new. Every morning, every day, brought her some kind of surprise, and her new responsibilities made her feel needed and valuable. Maybe that was what her destiny was supposed to be? To give these people at least a little bit of education and thus bring some hope into their lives?

Oscar sometimes thought that maybe, after all, her life did not end with the day she abandoned her own child and almost condemned Andre to death. She believed that with her own hands she could make this "day after" miraculously become one more day, a new day, a day when everything would change. She really wanted to believe it.

One evening in late September, Oscar put Lusien to sleep. The little boy usually preferred to fall asleep with his father, but that day Andre had an urgent article to finish, and Grandma Marie felt unwell and went to bed early. So Oscar promised Lusien that she would tell him a fairy tale about a dog that could not wag his tail and would hang out with him until he fell asleep. The boy agreed without hesitation, shuffling his feet curiously to hear a fairy tale he did not know. So Oscar spent half an hour talking and waiting for the little one to fall asleep, then another half an hour staring at the sleeping son. When she finally returned to the main room, she found Andre also sleeping, leaning against his shoulder on the desk full of papers. The finished article was lying nearby, neatly folded, but its title was not visible. Oscar crouched next to the chair and looked at Andre's sleeping face. His dark hair spilled over his shoulder and cheek, and his lips were slightly parted. He was breathing heavily as if he were dreaming a nightmare.

How many times had she seen him sleep this way? Probably thousands. How many times had she really looked at him so closely? Probably never. Her thoughts were always far away. Often with Marie Antoinette and one of her new scandals, sometimes with problems with the Guard. Or with Fersen. Dreaming about him, she sometimes drifted away, distracting herself from reality. Even after that one night together with Andre, she ran away as soon as he fell asleep without looking back.

Why couldn't she take her eyes off him now?

Andre had a beautiful face. Proportional, masculine, but very beautiful at the same time. Clearly outlined jaw and shapely nose. A pair of beautiful colored eyes and long eyelashes. How could she not have noticed before how handsome her friend was? Why only now, after so many years, had she discovered how attractive he was? Now that everything was lost and she couldn't get it back.

A lock of hair stuck to his cheek, and Oscar couldn't help but reach out to brush it away. But before her fingers touched his hair, Andre slowly opened his eyes.

- Oscar - he whispered, smiling, and his voice sounded relieved - You're finally here. I was so scared.. - he broke off and blinked his eyes, as if only now waking up for real. He straightened sharply in his chair, almost knocking her - What are you doing? - he asked suddenly, his voice cold.

- I just wanted to wake you up - Oscar said, getting up from her knees and dusting her gown - You shouldn't sleep like this because you will be feeling unwell tomorrow.

Andre sneered ironically.

- Stop pretending you worry about me - he said coldly - You never cared where I slept, how or with whom. So let it stay that way, okay? Give it up - he added, getting up.

She looked at him sadly, then lowered her head. She didn't want him to see the tears that had just started glazing her eyes.

- Good night - Andre said impassively, and he walked past her, then disappeared behind the door of his bedroom.

When Oscar was left alone, she fell limply into the same chair Andre was sitting in a moment ago and started to cry desperately.

This new life was beautiful and valuable. So many nice things happened to her every day. She was learning something exciting every day. But sometimes, to go further, she had to cross a field full of bushes whose spines were cutting her feet to blood. This was her relationship with Andre. And it didn't seem like anything was going to change.

Behind the closed door, leaning his back against the rough boards, Andre listened to the crying coming from the next room. But not a single tear appeared in his eyes. Only his fisted hands, so tight they turned white, showed that he was fighting something stronger than himself.


*** I noticed that it's easier to write about bad things than about good things. This chapter was very difficult to write and require a lot of time, and I'm still not entirely satisfied, but let's leave it as it is ;) I hope you enjoy it :)

Your author, Joanna-jie