Summary: Peace of mind is hard to achieve out in the black. Inara looks to meditation to find it, but it's a tough road to Samadhi. Even so, it's well worth the effort.

A/N: This fic is dedicated to JJ Shepherd; thanks for your review! The inspiration for the story came from my yoga class and a book on Chan (Chinese Zen) Buddhism. I wanted to get all the characters involved in Inara's meditative journey, whether by interruption or by participation, but I couldn't find a way to do it without being too repetitive. Inara might seem a bit OOC near the end, but I was incorporating the book's lessons on mastering one's Mind and how anger is a sign that an untamed Mind. Namaste, Hana Li

Disclaimer: I did not come up with the ideas behind Firefly, Buddhism, and meditation in general.

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Zen

Silence was a luxury on a transport vessel with eight other passengers. It was a blessing after dealing with that man. Eyes still closed, Inara inhaled. She let her breath out in one slow, continuous stream. She had been meditating for ten minutes and was savoring the peace. She was lucky to have her own shuttle. Then the voice of Kaylee rang out in hallway. Alas, the Companion was reminded of Serenity's size. "River, I give up! You can come out of your hiding place now!" The mechanic bounded in after she was allowed in the shuttle. "River didn't sneak in here, did she?"

"Not that I know of, but you are welcome to take a quick look," Inara replied before resuming her meditation.

Kaylee took notice of the woman's stillness. "Um, Inara, what in the 'verse are you doing just sittin' there?"

"Meditating. It's the complete abandonment of self to be in the absolute present. By focusing on the breath, one can purify the mind. Do you want to try it out?"

"Well, I'm not sure that I get what you're sayin', but okay."

It took less than thirty seconds before Kaylee started to fidget. "I don't reckon this is my sort of thing," she remarked before excusing herself to continue her search.

Inara smiled and picked up where she had left off. Shortly afterwards, Simon walked by. She could tell it was him by his hesitant steps. It appeared that he wanted to speak with her about something, perhaps advice on how to approach a certain mechanic who had long caught his eye. Inara sensed that he was thinking about interrupting her. Although he knew the principles behind meditation, the man of science believed it to be utter bull. Of course he was too polite to say that, but she got the impression. When asked his opinion on spiritual healing, a topic she was discussing with Shepherd Book the other day, he replied that medicine was really the best solution. However, science couldn't make a man less nervous around the woman he liked, and considering all the stress he puts himself under, the doctor could use some meditation. Ultimately, Simon decided that his question could wait, but his presence had nonetheless disturbed the Companion.

She quickly regained her focus. Ah, the silence, the serenity. She had almost achieved Samadhi when raised voices broke through. Jayne and Mal were going at it again; Inara didn't need to try hard to discern that. If only those two dolts had the capacity to appreciate something as beautiful and transcendent as the present moment…

What incensed her even more was that the aforementioned Captain had indirectly caused her to engage in meditation today. Not that she didn't like meditating; it was just that she would've rather it be under different circumstances. Their argument at breakfast wasn't what led to this though. No, it was the alarmingly erotic dream she had about him. Him! Malcolm Reynolds, the uncouth, disrespectful, arrogant jerk! Never in her life had Inara had a sexual fantasy. Such a thing indicated repression, and repression was something a Companion never had to worry about. It went against all her training.

She responded to the dream in the worst way possible: by picking a fight with Mal. Well, technically he started it—oh how childish that sounds! If he hadn't had another recent run-in with the law, they wouldn't be traveling to another niao bu sheng dan de di fang. How did he expect her to find clients there? The man had no respect for her business. Even though the resulting irritation and anger were more familiar emotions, they did nothing to ease her perturbed mind. In fact, it made it worse.

Perhaps it was time to try the other option. If Inara couldn't ignore or replace these images and feelings, she should just accept them…and accept Mal. Just thinking about that allowed her to regain her focus. She couldn't explain it, but suddenly, he wasn't there haunting her mind anymore. However, if she wanted to sustain this peace, she would have to do more than merely think it. That was a challenge for another time.

Inara was so engrossed in meditation that she didn't notice River slipping in at first. When she had sensed a presence, she saw no one in her doorway. Instead, she found the teenager seated beside her in lotus position, looking as if she had never been a lab experiment or a fugitive. River opened her eyes and smiled at Inara. The smile conveyed the sense of serenity she had been experiencing herself. Even if it was only momentary, the peace was what they needed to keep on going…to keep living their lives no matter what came their way. And they would need it.

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More notes:
Samadhi – state of pure consciousness; becoming one with your surroundings
niao bu sheng dan de di fang – literally, "a place where birds don't lay eggs" in Mandarin; means "the middle of nowhere."