Chapter 36
When Meggie finished with Dustfinger his blood covered most of the floor, and he was struggling to keep his eyes open.
"I better stop, I'd hate to kill you without Capricorn here to have his turn with you" whispered Meggie as she backed away, a smile twisting her face into something grotesque. The smile never left her face no matter how far she stepped. She felt invigorated by the blood as it glistened on the floor. It made her think of Capricorn, it made her wonder what he would have said, but as that went through her mind, Meggie felt the bittersweet taste of the knowledge that he wasn't. She didn't let the guards see the tears or any emotion she might show though. She only watched Dustfinger before letting her eyes stray to her guards. They were watching her, a respect in her eyes she hadn't seen since Capricorn had left, and she didn't move. She let something inside her settle as her eyes stayed on her men.
"Go get the doctor…make sure he lives" whispered Meggie, not sparing her victim a second glance as she left the room. As she walked through the corridors of the castle, Meggie wasn't overly concerned about Dustfinger, and as she entered her bedroom, she forgot him completely.
Meggie had very little trust in anyone now, but the doctor, she trusted. He had helped her through a lot. He had kept her alive when she should be dead. That was why she trusted him to keep Dustfinger alive. More than she trusted her own guards who very much would kill him when he was at his weakest. That wasn't what Meggie wanted, but she let that slip away as she stood alone in her bedroom. Standing there, she was starting to get used to being there without him, but she didn't dwell on that either.
"I'm all sticky" whispered Meggie, running her fingers over herself and coming up red, and as Meggie stared at Dustfinger's blood she felt something shiver inside herself. Stepping into the bathroom, Meggie watched herself in the mirror, and for a moment, she pictured Capricorn there. Burying his face in her blood-soaked neck. Kissing it from her skin. She saw it and wanted it, but when she blinked it wasn't there anymore. She was still standing alone. It was another thing she didn't let herself dwell on as she removed her bloodstained clothes. She didn't think of it again until she was sitting in the warm water finding herself once again alone. Meggie hated getting used to being alone. She wanted her husband to appear in the doorway. She wanted him to kiss her and tell her she had done well. She could feel something sinking within her at the thought and closing her eyes, Meggie laid in the bath.
"I miss you" whispered Meggie, going over the events of the night in her head, and then thinking of her king, after all, in her mind, she had proven herself to be the queen, but somehow she knew it would have felt better if her king were here to witness it. Somehow, she knew Capricorn would have been proud.
That he would have enjoyed seeing her covered in blood. It had been four months and he was still gone. Sometimes Meggie got scared that he wasn't coming back, but she didn't allow that to happen. He would come back, she kept telling herself that even on nights when she laid alone in their bed. It was why most nights Meggie didn't go to sleep until she absolutely had to. She could never get used to sleeping alone even if she was getting used to everything else. To walking around the castle alone. To sitting in the throne room alone. To doing everything alone but sleeping in that bed was different. She still reached for him when she woke up and expected him to be there. She still longed for him every day. Meggie knew that it would be that way until he returned to her.
"You had better come back" exclaimed Meggie, the words slipping forth as the tears did too. Meggie only let herself cry for a moment. She tried to be strong. To be the queen that Capricorn had left behind. Sometimes, she had her weak moments, but others she lost her composure. This was one of those moments, but it didn't last as she sat straight up in the water.
" He will come back to me and when he does, I'll give him back his kingdom all the stronger then the way he left it" thought Meggie, drying her tears to rid herself of them not wanting them to return as she vowed to keep going. That was what Capricorn wanted.
"I must be a queen and have a queen's confidence until he comes home" thought Meggie, once again sinking low into the water until her head was submerged. As she stayed there, beneath the warm water, Meggie let it all fall away. She held her breath and let all her thoughts hang there. She didn't care about any of those thoughts as she focused on the quiet hum beneath the water. When she found she needed air, she still waited to go to the surface until she found she needed to breath, and that was when she returned to the surface where all her problems lay.
"He better be off burning that world to pieces if he doesn't have time to write to his wife" whispered Meggie as she lay in bed later that night, opening her journal to find nothing, but blank pages until she started to write her own.
I missed you today. Meggie wrote slowly, part of her feeling surprised when a reply came immediately.
I miss you every day. What happened to make you miss me so much today? Did something happen? For Capricorn, it had been eight months since he'd parted from his wife, and while things were going the way he wanted especially now that Gemini had joined them, he still missed his wife every day, and looked forward to speaking with her like this whenever they could. In the time apart, he had been successful in his ventures. He had become the force to be reckoned with that he had once been, and he was still working his way up. Gemini and himself were planning, always planning on what to do next. On how to overthrow the Adderhead, but also the two were starting to reconnect. They had been getting to know each other as he worked up the courage to explain about her to Meggie. Everything was moving along the way he had expected, but that didn't mean Meggie wasn't on his mind.
He still longed to have her there as he lay in his tent. He had just entered his tent after relocating their camp when he saw the faint glow of his journal. His thoughts had instantly gone to her and settling into his tent, he opened his journal to see her message. Every time they communicated this way, he could picture her, laying in their bed as she wrote to him. It always made him feel closer to her even as they were so far away.
I acted as your queen today and showed everyone that you wouldn't have made me your queen if I wasn't someone to be feared. I took a sledgehammer to Dustfinger and made the guards watch. I was covered in blood after and it made me think of you. I think you would have like it. As he read what she said, he felt torn. On one hand, he wanted to protect her, but as he looked over her words, he knew that while they were apart that she would need to prove herself without him. He just hadn't thought she would do it the way she did. He found himself picturing her covered in blood and he longed to be there as he searched for what to say. Most of all, he wondered why did she need to prove a point?
Was the blood Dustfinger's or the guards? Why did you need to prove a point to anyone? You are the queen, you should immediately have their respect, and there shouldn't be anything that needs proved. Meggie could sense his anger as she read his words. She knew he was holding back and knew he was trying to protect her. It warmed her as she pictured him in the woods looking at his journal. He always protected her and now she was having to protect herself. She could sense the pain in his heart knowing that he wasn't protecting her now, but she didn't want him to feel that way.
The next thing Capricorn saw was an outline of a kiss as Meggie pressed it into the page of her journal just below her writing. Meggie had sent it in not just her love for him, but to assure him that she was fine. That she could take care of herself while he was away. Capricorn barely considered that though as he traced the outline of her lips with his finger. He found himself longing for the real thing as more handwriting appeared just below it.
I know, but they have been starting to see me as weak. I needed to prove myself so I did what I thought you would have done. I proved to them and Dustfinger that I'm not a little girl anymore, but your queen. I think I've earned their respect. When I left the doctor was being sent for to tend to Dustfinger, he was near dead, and the guards looked somewhat shaken. Meggie waited for his response afterward. Part of her needed him to approve of what she had done. Because she wanted him to have pride in her. To look at her and see a queen. His one true queen. When he didn't respond right away, she worried she had overstepped her bounds, but then he replied.
Meggie, you never have to prove anything. You shall always be my one and only queen. In my eyes, you are the only woman I want by my side, and you've only now let them see what I always knew was there. After this no one will ever doubt your place as my queen again and if they do, I will be the one proving the point. When Meggie saw his words, she felt her heart flutter. She wished she could kiss him in that moment as Capricorn was wishing the same. He hadn't been with her since they had taken the potion just before Gemini arrived and, in that moment, he wanted her as he caressed the kiss permanently pressed into the page in his journal. They knew they needed each other. That they hadn't been close as they usually were in too long. That was why as he searched for the words, they came upon him suddenly, and he knew that they had shared enough words. He needed to see her. She needed to see him. Somehow, he also knew that this was the only way to tell him about his sister as he wrote the words that would bring them together again. As he did, he hoped that he would have the words to tell her about Gemini or at least he hoped it would be easier to tell her face to face.
"Meggie, I have a sister" said Capricorn in that moment, simply practicing saying the words as he wrote what he needed to.
"You have to tell her, writing it on a piece of paper won't do" thought Capricorn as he practiced the words. When he told her about Gemini, he should tell her face to face. Because they didn't have secrets and yet, he hadn't told her. It wasn't because he had meant to lie or not be truthful, but because he had honestly never thought he'd see Gemini again. She had been in the Inkworld and he hadn't. He hadn't planned on going back until now. And when he did, his sister had very much slipped from his mind only to stumble back into his life so suddenly. Capricorn now had to explain that to his wife.
He kept thinking about the moment when Gemini and Meggie would meet someday. He worried about what they would think of each other, but also of what would happen if they didn't like each other. He could already sense Gemini's slight contempt for Meggie. He told himself he would handle it when he needed to, but as he read Meggie's words now, he knew somehow that she would handle it herself. He decided when the time came, he would let her, but suddenly he pushed all that away. She was still waiting for a response and he still hadn't given any.
I need to see you. I've missed you. Take the potion, so I can be with you tonight. Meggie hadn't expected that response until it appeared in front of her. Only then did she allow herself to smile and her journal to close. Meggie didn't allow herself to hesitate as she took the potion to sleep. To be with the man she loved if only for a few short hours. Capricorn didn't wait for her reply, he only set his journal aside to down a vial. They did it in the same moment and then they both drifted off to sleep. Meggie with her body laid flat across their bed and Capricorn with his own body laying on his bed within his tent. Meggie barely felt the effects of the potion as her eyes closed. She only closed her eyes to wait to open them again so she could see his face. At first, she didn't think it was working. She kept waiting to float away to that place where Capricorn was waiting, but she didn't feel that like she did the first time. Meggie didn't feel anything. Not until his hand touched her face and she opened her eyes to find him there.
Capricorn was there, looking down at her when she opened her eyes.
"I've missed you, my queen" whispered Capricorn, not giving her a chance to respond as his lips found hers. He held her in his arms and when they parted, Capricorn was smiling at her.
"I'm so proud, Meggie, you are my queen. I've never doubted that" whispered Capricorn, seeing a familiar sparkle in her eyes.
"I was hoping you would be. I wanted to show everyone that even though you're not here that that doesn't mean I'm any less their queen" said Meggie, her voice firm yet gentle. Her hand came to touch his face then and after a moment, their foreheads touched. They kissed and as her nails scratched the back of his neck, Capricorn found himself holding her with a tight grip. He suddenly wished he'd taken her with him, but that fell away as they parted. And then they only looked at each other both suddenly aware of how long it had been.
When they parted, she noticed he was looking at her differently now. At first, Meggie thought something had gone wrong, but after a moment, she knew it was something else.
"My king?" whispered Meggie, making him sit up now. Capricorn seemed to be contemplating something when suddenly he looked at her.
"I have to tell you something" said Capricorn, worrying her.
Meggie didn't say anything. She knew he just needed the time to say whatever it was he had to say.
"There's something I never told you, Meggie, it's nothing bad or anything you need to worry about" exclaimed Capricorn, grabbing her hand as if she might run away. Meggie let her hand touch his face and that seemed to sooth him.
"What is it, Capricorn, you can tell me?" whispered Meggie, her body leaning instinctively close to his feeling as a hand drifted over her side.
"I have a sister" said Capricorn on one breath. When he did, he saw Meggie look at him to see if he was joking, and when it was clear he wasn't, she couldn't help it. She looked at him in utter disbelief.
