CHAPTER 19 – Bonfire's tales


Vadim Kiselev – „Imagination"


She still remembered this feeling well. Sorrow and despair so strong it took her breath away. A weight of tears on the heart, though her eyes were still dry. All these memories came alive as Oscar stared at the red and gold flames of the autumn bonfire at Angles.

Soon after she returned to service after giving birth to Lusien, she was forced to pursue Jeanne de la Motte. Together with the soldiers, they traveled many miles in search of that woman, constantly hitting dead ends. If they couldn't find a decent place to sleep anywhere, they camped outside. They made bonfires, just like the one in front of her now, prepared food, sometimes sang. Some of the soldiers were not satisfied with that, because they were used to a different kind of life. Others rejoiced at the adventure. Oscar didn't really matter. She got up in the morning to spend the day focused on the task, and in the evening she was falling on her bed, dead tired. Only those evenings by the fire were difficult. Surrounded by people, she felt as lonely as never before in her life. If that were as it had been in the past, Andre would have been sitting next to her. They could have talked and laughed. But he was no longer there to keep her company.

The warmth of the fire on her face and hands during those dark, lonely evenings reminded her a little of the warmth of her son's head when she touched it for the last time. The child she was forced to leave. As she thought about her son, sadness broke her heart in two. The stone heart of a degenerate mother. That's what she thought of herself then.

The same dull pain she still remembered so well appeared again. Oscar took a deep breath a couple of times, then looked fondly at Lusien, who sat next to her eating his baked potato with relish. He was so unaware of anything that had once happened. Would he be able to forgive her if she told him the truth?

- Is everyone full yet? - Ella's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

Murmurs of satisfaction and joyful chuckles answered her.

- Aren't you cold? - the girl asked again - Maybe we should come back earlier. The evening is cooler than we expected.

- But no, Mademoiselle Moreau! - Maud said indignantly - We've only heard two stories!

- Exactly, right - admitted her friend Sabine - And while your tale about dancing fairies was amazing, Marcel's story completely sucks! - she laughed, giving her boyfriend, who sat next to her, a side nudge.

- Ouch! - Marcel meowed - Why did you hit me? What a fiancée you are to make fun of her future husband!?

- Since when am I your fiancée? - Sabine was angry and slapped hard again, this time on his head.

The whole company choked on laughter.

- I think Monsieur Andre should tell us something - said little Pauline when they all calmed down - I remember last year you told such a beautiful tale about a lost bunny. Have you made up a new one yet? - she asked.

Andre scratched his head in embarrassment.

- I've been a bit.. busy lately - he replied hesitantly - But there is one story that I have never told anyone before.

- Yay! - Lusien rejoiced. The boy wiped his dirty hands on his pants, then lay down comfortably on the blanket, resting his head on Oscar's lap, and added - What is this fairy tale about, Daddy?

- It's a story about a wolf that couldn't be a lion - said Andre.

Something in Andre's voice, some dark, bitter note, made Oscar raise her head and look at him. From the far end of the campsite, through the red flames, she saw his eyes staring intently at her. There was no anger in that look, however, but the pain that she had seen only once. A long time ago Andre asked her if she would like to get rid of the baby if it were Fersen's baby. That's exactly how he looked at her when she didn't deny it.

Oscar looked away. She couldn't stand the reproach she saw in his eyes.

- That doesn't sound like a children's story - Sabine said thoughtfully.

- That's true - laughed Andre - The moment I tell you, you'll have to cover your ears!

Sabine chuckled.

- All right, let's get started - Andre straightened and leaned back against the tree behind him, then smiled at Ella, who was sitting next to him.

Once upon a time, in the woods near Paris, there lived a gray wolf. His life was not easy from the very beginning. When he was only a few months old and still a wolf child, a terrible tragedy took place. The winter of that year was very severe. Every day a strong wind blew, heavy snow was falling, and the nights were so cold that everything was freezing to a stone.

The wolf pack hidden in the Paris' forest was not large, but each wolf had to eat something, and the food in the forests was scarce. Unfortunately for the poor wolves, all animals hid deep into their dens and did not want to poke their noses out. So the wolves traveled great distances every day to find any food, and then returned to their burrow to rest. One day hunters appeared in the forest, and when the unaware wolves left their house to hunt, the hunters shot them one by one. Only the one, who remained in the burrow waiting for his family to return, survived. The youngest wolf.

When none of his herd appeared for another day, and then another, little wolf decided to leave his hideout. He was very hungry by then and he was cold, because although the burrow was hidden, he lacked his mother's body, which always warmed him to sleep. The wolf dug out the entrance, which had already covered itself with a thick layer of snow, and went outside. When he found fresh bloodstains not far from the burrow, he knew immediately that he would not see any of his family again. He sat up and wept bitterly. But his heart was strong and brave, so he decided not to give up.

This is how his journey began. The little wolf wandered through forests, fields and groves. He slept in abandoned burrows or barns. He hunted mice and rabbits, sometimes chickens in human enclosures. Finally, after many days of wandering, he arrived in front of a huge, dark cave. A cool spring rain had just begun to fall, and the wolf decided to take refuge in the cave, because although it looked hostile, it was at least dry in it. So he entered the cave bravely, not looking sideways. He walked and walked and walked, and the cave turned out to be really big. At the very end, the wolf saw a huge rock chamber with a pile of flat boulders in the middle of it. There were animals on the stones that the wolf had never seen before. What wonderful animals they were! Huge and majestic. They all stared at him with their almond-shaped green eyes, and some were yawning, showing the inside of a mouth with long, sharp fangs. One of these animals lingered lazily from its seat, approached the little wolf and circled it several times, watching it closely. After a while it asked:

- Who are you and what are you looking for here?

- I am a wolf - answered the wolf child - My family is dead and I am looking for a safe place to live. Who are you?

- We are lions - replied the animal proudly - This cave is our home. Wait a minute here, I will ask our king if you can stay here with us.

The lion jumped to the very center of the boulder pyramid, on which sat the largest and most fertile of the entire group of lions. The huge male looked at him with superiority and muttered something to the lion standing next to him.

- You can live here – the lion gave the message to the wolf - On one condition. You will bring us the prey you hunted every day. So that none of us would ever be hungry.

The little wolf looked fearfully at the herd of lions, which although not very numerous, but the animals were large and certainly ate a lot. Then he thought about what it would be like to have a family again and feel safe in the herd. He looked at the lion sitting high above him and bowed his head in agreement.

From that moment on, the young wolf hunted all day to feed its new family. He often returned so exhausted that he did not even have the strength to eat what he had hunted. And sometimes there just wasn't that much left for him to eat. But the wolf was so happy that after a workday, he could cuddle up to the warm bodies of his comrades and sleep all night without any worrying.

Months passed and the wolf ceased to be a child and became a youth. And although he tried with all his strength to convince himself and others that he was part of the herd, the day came when he realized clearly that he would never be one of them, that he would always be a stranger.

On that fateful night, the wolf had crept near the herd leader's resting place and stolen something that did not belong to him. Because he was so lost that he almost believed himself to be a lion and not a wolf, and that he could feel like a lion, look like a lion, be loved like a lion.

- He stole? What did he steal? - Pauline asked.

Oscar saw Andre stared at her intensely for a long moment, then looked away.

- Err.. - he began to stutter - It was a tail. The tip of the tail actually.

- You can't steal the tip of the tail! - Maud said indignantly - It doesn't make sense.

- In fairy tales anything can happen - smiled Andre, although his eyes remained sad - Animals speak with a human voice. The lion becomes a lamb and the wolf becomes a bear.

- Monsieur Andre drank too much apple wine - Sabine laughed.

- Cheeky girl - Andre acted indignant - Do you want to hear the end of this story or not? It's really worth it, the ending is great - he added with a slightly perceptible irony.

- Shut up, some people want to hear! - Marcel scolded the girls, and they chuckled, casting knowing glances at each other. Marcel was the oldest of them, but sometimes he really acted like a child.

The next day, when everyone found out what happened - Andre continued - the lions threw the wolf into the center of the cave and wondered how to punish him. The wolf sat stunned, not knowing what to do. He tried to explain why he did it, but was not listened to. The end of the tail he had stolen belonged to the herd's son, so the offense was all the greater. In the end, after a long debate, the death penalty was decided. However, before the sentence was carried out, the wolf managed to slip out of the cave and escape. The end.

- The end? - Sabine was sincerely surprised - Monsieur Andre, it couldn't have ended like this!

- And where is the moral of the story? - Marcel asked suspiciously.

- Does every story have to have a moral? - Andre laughed bitterly.

- It's clear - Maud choked - A story without a moral is useless!

- The wolf was very stupid - said Pauline, resting her little head on her hands - After all, he could live in harmony with lions until the end of his days.

- You're right - agreed Andre - The wolf behaved like an idiot. He should give the lions food for the rest of his life and receive protection in return. He had underestimated the quiet life he was living with them.

- Then why did he do it? - Sabine asked.

- He had a reason he wouldn't tell anyone - Andre replied - Sometimes in our hearts grow feelings for which there should never be a place there. Under the influence of these feelings, we behave selfishly and irresponsibly. But that's what human hearts are like.

- Wolf - said Pauline.

- Indeed - smiled Andre – We do talk about wolves all the time, don't we?

Oscar sat silently, not taking part in the conversation. Andre's story was strange and surprising. Before he started telling, Oscar was sure he was going to tell them their story, and she got scared. However, this fairy tale had nothing to do with them. What was Andre all about? Oscar looked up over the bonfire at Andre leaning against the tree trunk. The man stared unseeingly at the fire, his eyes shining strangely. After a while, however, he awoke and smiled at the children sitting nearby. Then he got up and started adding wood to the dying fire.

- I can't believe this is the end of the story. What happened next, Monsieur Andre? - Marcel asked after a moment.

- You're right. And since the smaller children are already asleep - Andre looked at sweetly dozing Lusien leaning on Oscar's lap and Roland curled up next to his sister's legs - I can tell you how the story really ended. And it was like this.

Before the sentence was carried out, the wolf managed to escape. He ran away through forests and fields, but eventually his strength drained as he had not eaten in the previous few days. When he stopped, the lions caught up with him and tore him apart.

- What?! - Pauline pressed a hand over her mouth in horror.

- What the terrible stories you are telling us today, Monsieur Andre - Sabine said sarcastically.

- Do you think this is not actually the ending? Indeed, it's not. - Andre flashed his teeth and winked at them - In fact, it was like that.

The wolf managed to escape far from the lions' den. Even though the largest of them, the herd leader, pursued him for days, the wolf eventually managed to confuse the trail. He started to live in a forest in New Aquitaine, where he found a new wolf family and was happy until the end of his life.

Andre unexpectedly pulled Ella to him and kissed her suddenly.

The children started giggling. Oscar shifted uneasily. She didn't want to hear anything else. She also didn't want to look at their mutual affection. She pushed Lusien gently off her lap and covered him with a blanket. She knew Andre was about to pick him up and carry him to bed. She tucked the shawl over her back and started to get up.

- Are you coming back already, Mademoiselle Francoise? - asked Sabine in surprise - The fire has just started to burn again. May you still stay!

- Why don't you tell us a story? - Marcel suggested boldly.

Oscar hesitated. Maybe it was just such an occasion to tell Andre what had been in her heart for so long? Maybe it would be a night of confessions?

She sat back down on the blanket and wrapped the shawl tighter around her.

- Have you heard the story of the vanishing goddess?* - Oscar asked, turning to the children.

Andre looked up at her in surprise, but she chose to ignore it.

- This story was told to me by a dear friend of mine when I was still very young. I never understood its meaning. When I remembered her many, many years later, he was no longer with me to help me understand. I hope that when he comes back to me one day, we will sit on the terrace together, take the wine glasses in our hands, as we used to do, and he will say to me: "I told you this story because..". This is my little dream that will probably never come true.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Andre throwing wood into the fire a little too hard, so that thousands of golden sparks rose into the sky. She knew he heard her.

- So it was like this - she began to say.

Once upon a time, a goddess came to live in an olive garden of a young farmer. She was very beautiful, as the goddesses are, and under her hands the trees were sprouting new leaves and forming buds. The farmer watched her from a distance as she strolled in his garden, but he was afraid to approach her. One day, however, he summoned up his courage and asked:

- Each of the gods has some attributes. Zeus has his lightning bolt, Hermes has wings at his boots, Athena has a bow and arrows, and Ares has a sword and shield. What attribute do you have, my lady?

The goddess nodded, then spread her arms and showed him her empty hands.

- But there's nothing here! - the young man was surprised.

- I am the vanishing goddess - she replied - I come to test people's hearts. My attribute is "nothing" because I show them how easy it is to lose what you love.

The farmer did not understand. So the goddess told him her story. She was one of Zeus' daughters, the youngest of them. She was born from an olive tree when the supreme god once descended to earth to rest after a hard day. It was a day when the goddess Venus gave him a lot of trouble, so when a woman emerged from the tree he gave her an attribute that would make Venus angry. From that day on, the vanishing goddess walked around the world, testing the people she encountered. Her natural charm made them care so much about her when they saw her that they lost themselves in her. But when they revealed their love to her, she vanished, plunging them into despair.

- Why are you telling me all this? - asked the farmer - Have you not come here to test my heart?

The goddess laughed.

- Your olive grove is a very nice place. I came here to rest.

For the goddess saw no man in the poor farmer who could fall in love with her.

Oscar paused and looked at Andre with a surprised look. She felt as if she was missing something, but still didn't know what.

The farmer, however, fell in love with her, just as Zeus had intended. He knew, however, that he would never be able to confess his love to her. One day, however, he couldn't stand it, because the power of magic was greater than his mind. He walked over to the goddess sleeping in the garden and kissed her gently.

- I love you - he whispered, thinking she wouldn't hear

The farmer, however, forgot that she was not an ordinary woman. The goddess opened her eyes wide and looked at him in amazement.

- Why did you do that? - she asked.

And then she vanished, blurring like a mist in the rays of the rising sun.

The young man searched madly for her all over Greece, but never saw her again. Out of despair, he threw himself into the sea, because he preferred death to life without her.

Oscar broke off and there was silence around the bonfire, broken only by the crackle of the fire and the distant hoot of the owl.

- The farmer was as stupid as that wolf in Monsieur Andre's story - Pauline said after a moment, her voice firm.

- Right - Marcel said - Wasn't it better to keep quiet? Or not steal that stupid tail?

Oscar saw Andre trying to hide the amusement that had spread across his face. Children would probably be surprised if they knew that the two stories were made up by exactly the same person.

- If you thought about it - Sabine murmured - it's a very tragic story. A farmer, whatever he did, it would still end badly for him. If he had never told her, he would have spent his whole life lying, chasing something he couldn't have. So he decided to tell her the truth and lost everything.

Oscar looked at Sabine in admiration. Her apprentice had changed a lot since she first appeared on her doorstep. In fact, she turned out to be a very intelligent, imaginative girl.

- It's getting late, maybe we'll be done for today - Andre on the other side of the bonfire began to shuffle restlessly and get up.

- Oh, no no! - Oscar objected, gesturing for him to sit back down - My dear cousin, you absolutely must hear the second part of this story.

- What second part? - Andre said, looking at her suspiciously - I thought it was over.

- Indeed - Oscar turned to the children - My friend's story ended right here. One day, however, I dreamed about the second part of this story.

Andre sat back down on the blanket, drawing his knees under his chin, and looked at her darkly.

When the goddess found out about the farmer's death, she dived into the sea, found his body and buried it on the mountain top of the beautiful island of Kefalonia. Then she sat up and cried, and new olive trees grew from the places where her tears had fallen, so that soon the whole valley was covered with an olive grove, the same as the one in which they first met. When the tears dried, the goddess wrapped herself in a mourning robe and flew to heaven to talk to her father. She fell on her knees before him and, crying, asked him to let her go down to Hades and bring the farmer back to the world of the living. However, Zeus was adamant. No pleading or begging could soften his heart. So the vanishing goddess went to Venus. The other looked at her in surprise, then asked:

- Why do you want to save him? You brought death to so many other people. Why should it be any different now?

- I love this man - the goddess replied sincerely.

Venus laughed.

- So you finally admit that my power is greater than yours?

- Yes, I do. I'm sorry - the other replied, and bowed her head in respect.

Because true love, attachment and friendship are stronger than evil and death.

- All right, I'll help you - said Venus.

The next day, Zeus summoned the vanishing goddess to him and said:

- I will send a messenger to bring this person from the underworld. I will let him lead a normal life on earth. But there is one condition. You'll never see him again.

The goddess felt her heart tear in pain so terrible that she could not breath. And then she finally understood how the people whom she was deceiving felt. But she was a goddess and could not change her destiny.

- I agree - she whispered.

- Remember - her father added - If you break our promise, I myself will come down to the earth and stab the knife into his heart. And then I will kill everyone who is dear to him. Never forget that.

The goddess didn't reply, just nodded her agreement. The words of Zeus, supreme of gods, had to be taken seriously.

Over the following years, the goddess wandered the world, staying away from Kefalonia, where the farmer lived. One day, however, the pain and longing in her heart were so unbearable that the goddess, oblivious to the warnings, came to the island and hid in an olive grove, wanting only to watch her beloved one from her hiding place. She painfully watched as he embraced his wife and took his child into his arms. But when she left, she smiled, because sometimes the greatest testimony of love is letting someone go.

A few days later she reappeared in the olive garden, but no longer found the farmer and his family. When she entered his empty house and saw a blood stain on the floor..

Oscar's voice cracked, then turned into a sob. She stood up abruptly, whispered a barely audible "I'm sorry" and disappeared into the darkness. There was a sonorous silence around the bonfire.

Andre sat petrified for a moment, staring in horror at the place where Oscar had just disappeared. Then he jumped up so suddenly that everyone around the fire stared at him.

Before he could take a step, Ella grabbed his hand.

- Don't go, Andre - she pleaded.

He looked at her for a moment, clearly hesitating.

- Damn - he swore, making a decision - Ask Marcel to carry Lusien home, okay? - he turned to Ella.

Then he released himself gently from her embrace and ran in the direction Oscar had gone.


* This is the same Andre's story Oscar remembered in chapter 8, but she tells it in her own words, modifying it a bit.