Disclaimer: Own all except Marauders.
To Peter Pettigrew – You are a, er, nice rat...
Section I: Introduction – Profiles of Members of Faculty
Marauder IV – Peter Pettigrew
Title:
Currently retired - formerly in charge of the Marauder Surveillance/Welfare Coordination
Given Name:
Anything is okay with Peter Pettigrew, as long as you do not hex/injure/frighten/curse/stun/immobilize/bully him in any way
Hobby:
Going to James' Quidditch games, bragging about his being a Marauder, et cetera, et cetera
Hate:
Missing James' Quidditch games, being compared to a rat/mouse/rodent of any kind
Goal:
Make it through Hogwarts alive and human
Proudest Accomplishment:
When he managed to escape Severus Snape's curse twice in a day! (Comment: Wow…that is impressive, especially for Peter)
Favorite Quotes:
"MARAUDERS, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" (Always followed by uncharacteristically fast running)
"I do not worship James, Sirius, but he is just so cool." (Usually accompanied by massive drooling)
"Mr. Sna-Snape, I swea-swear I have not an idea who sta-started the Sni-Snivellus-calling!" (A visit to Madame Pomfrey immediately follows)
x-x-x
This is a specified section of which Mr. Pettigrew has so kindly requested me to include.
Warning: The following parchment may contain scenes of violence, obscene acts of cowardice, timidity, and chicken-heartedness. Viewer discretion serenely advised.
Tips from Peter On – oh, you figure it out yourself…
Reasons Why You Shouldn't Infuriate Severus Snape
One - He is the president of the Slug Club.
Two – Lost body parts can be found in his trunk.
Three – His most commonly used everyday-spell is Morsmordre.
Four – His second most commonly used everyday-spell is Crucio.
Five – His name is Severus Snape (!)
Six – The word severus means 'to sever' in Mermish.
Seven – Read, reread, and read three times reason #3.
When Trying to Escape Marauder Missions…
Do you?
a) Purposely jinx yourself badly and claim it the work of Severus Snape?
b) Listen to an immature Mandrake so you would have a reason to go to Madam Pomfrey's?
c) Hide in the Room of Requirement?
If you have chosen 'A'…well, if you know how to jinx yourself impermanently, go ahead and do it. But chances are, if you are someone (like myself) who tries to avoid going n Marauder missions at all cost, then you are most likely to have not passed Charms nor Defence Against the Dark Arts since year one…
If you have chosen 'B', Wormtail has one word for you – IDIOT
If you have chosen 'C', congratulations! You fully qualify as a cunning, careful Marauder who does things to their own advantage (like myself, of course)
xxMY FIRST AUTHOR'S NOTExx
My philosophy: No review, no update, simple as that :)
