NOTE: Thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. It gets a bit more cheery in the ones to come. Oh, and I just started watching Smallville. Do any of you watch it? I like it but I'm kind of anxious for Lois Lane to show up (I'm only in season 2). I was surprised so many people want Clark and Chloe together, hmmm...I'm not partial to that idea...Enjoy chap. 9! Tell me what you think.
Angel452: More questions answered! But I don't know if Richard will ever found out about Clark/Superman. I'm still thinking about that one...
Alphie: Thank you for the constructive criticism. I hope the last chap. turned out better after I edited it.
Mr. Firenze: Thanks :). I just began to realise how sad a lot of this is but it really is a sad story. It gets happier though in time for which I'm glad.
Maddi-B: Wow, thanks. I thought your idea was probably a lot better in your mind, but I'm glad you likedthe wayI did it:).
Jedi X-man Serena Kenobi: Thank you very much! Yeah, I started reading a lot of good Superman/Lois stories earlier but it's hard now that I'm writing my own. Lol, I'm afraid I'll copy something of theirs. Thanks for the review too!
The Kiss of Death: Wow, thank you a lot. It's encouraging to know you like the story so much. Thanks!
Jason was drawing in his room when his mother came in. He showed her his artwork.
"It's me and Superman flying in the sky."
Lois's hands trembled as she studied the drawing. Could he know already? She looked at her son with question in her eyes. "That's good, honey. Your dad and I need to talk to you: it's important."
It was clear his mom and dad were troubled when he sat with them in the living room. Jason looked at them and wondered what they were going to tell him.
His mother took his hands in hers. "What I'm going to explain to you may be hard to understand right now, but I want you to try and listen. Try not to be too upset either."
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Richard loves you and has been your dad for all five years of your life, and you love him too. But he's not your real, biological father."
Jason looked at Richard then back at her. He was only five but he did comprehend what was being said. It confused him emotionally and made him sad.
"Why?"
Lois glanced at Richard. "Well, he wasn't the first man I loved and I was with your real father before Richard and I were together. I'm so sorry, Jason." She embraced him and held him to her chest. "Richard is still your dad in some way."
"Can I still call you daddy?"
Richard's eyes glistened, and he nodded. "Of course, kiddo."
Jason pulled away from his mom to give his dad a hug. He touched his chin to Jason's head and closed his eyes.
Jason began to wonder who his real father was. It was strange to think of having two, and he did not know whether he should feel angry, sad, or okay with it.
"Who is my dad?"
Lois and Richard exchanged another quiet glance, and he stood and left the room. It seemed there was a dark cloud about him blended with sharp grief.
"Sweetie, this may sound strange too, but do you know who I loved before Richard?"
He thought about it and he couldn't help picturing Superman in his mind. He saw how Superman looked at his mom, and it was much the same look Richard gave her. Did Superman fly to other people's houses at night?
But he shook his head 'no.'
"You know him. He saved us from Lex Luthor and from drowning."
"Superman!" he exclaimed. The news was amazing but more welcome than anyone else. Hadn't it been what he secretly wanted, any child's dream? To have Superman for a father? He thought of the picture he drew and the times he spent with Clark Kent who was really Superman. Should he be excited or sad for Richard? He didn't know, and it showed on his face.
Another thought burst into his mind. Hadn't he felt it earlier? Whenever he saw Superman or heard his name, he felt a stirring inside. It was like there was already a connection even before they met. He was not so surprised anymore.
"Although, you have to promise not to call him anything of the sort in front of other people. It's sort of a secret. Like who he is when he's not flying around in his suit." She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Mr. Clark. Don't worry, I told him I wouldn't tell."
"That's my smart boy. Are you going to be okay? I know this is not an easy thing to handle."
He paused and decided he was lucky to have two fathers instead of one, not yet knowing all the underlying adult conflicts it was causing. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to go sit outside." He wanted to think about it more and puzzle out the jumble of emotions welling up inside.
"All right. Come get me if you need to," she said ruffling his hair.
He nodded and walked out the back doors.
Lois eyed Richard from where she stood leaning against the kitchen counter. He was sitting at the table with his head in his hands. She wondered if she should tell him about Clark Kent and Superman.
She slowly advanced and rested a hand on his shoulder. He raised his head.
"Honey," he said, "do you want me to stay?"
Lois's heart pounded in her chest. Here he was offering her the chance to be with the man of her destiny with the uttering of one word, just one word. If she said 'yes' they would graciously part ways and there would be nothing between her and Superman. Yet then could she ever forgive herself for sending away such a good man? Jason was still fully attached to his 'father,' and it would be that way for some time.
He nodded, perceiving exactly what the lack of response meant. "It's hard isn't it? There's what we want, what we know is right, and what we want for others. How are we to choose?" His voice had become dreamily distant, and his eyes stared into memories.
"I never really believed in fate until…until I met…him," said Lois. "Maybe something will happen and we'll know."
"So we'll sit around waiting for a 'sign?'" He laughed sardonically. "I'm sorry, but I'm not so sure about that, Lois."
She chewed her bottom lip as a new thought surfaced. Had that been what the Pulitzer night's kiss was? It suddenly dawned on her that when she lifted her face to the tall Man of Steel, she had unconsciously made her choice. A quiet sound of realization escaped her throat.
Richard stood and grasped her hand. "Are you okay?"
His words mirrored those of Superman the day he saved the plane she was on and looked directly at her with open concern and radiating adoration. Afterwards she regretted not saying anything and thought to answer: "Yes, now that you're here." And she still felt that way.
"Richard, I love you. But there's someone I love more, and I can't let you only have half my heart. I want to be with Jason's father and the man I first fell in love with. We were always meant to be, and he has no one else in the world. I won't abandon him or let him stand alone. I said once to myself that if he needed someone to love him, I would be there. My word is my word. Jason and I are his whole world, and I can't keep that from him."
The chains that held her down beneath the crushing weight of the water fell from her. She was floating up to the surface at last and gasped for air. She had done it at last.
Richard released her hand. His face was impossible to read. She had never seen it so blank. The silence was nearly unbearable as they stared at one another.
"Mommy, can I ask you something…?" Jason came bursting into the dining room. He stopped short when he saw them looking like they were. His large blue eyes that were his father's were torn between the two.
Lois was the first to turn to her son. "What is it, sweetie?"
He sidled up to her leg and said softly, "It's a secret."
She knelt to his height.
He whispered in her ear. "Can we go see Superman…Mr. Clark?"
"If he's at home. Actually, I don't know where he lives. Sorry, Jason."
"It's okay, mommy. Maybe he'll come tonight."
"I hope so." She lightly kissed his brow and swept his dark hair from his face. "Now go and play so Richard and I can talk. You haven't played the piano in a while."
He sauntered out of the room.
Richard was watching Jason until he could not see him anymore while Lois had an idea to find Clark, but she did not know what to do about the situation between her and Richard.
He stood and looked straight into her eyes with a gleam of loss and resolve. "Lois, I'm going to go out for a while to clear my head. I'll probably be at the park."
Where he takes Jason. "All right then." She mustered a smile for him. "I understand."
He went to stroke her hand but stopped and finally turned away. She stood still for a moment then went to the window in the study they used as an office and watched his car pull out of the driveway. The wound of rejecting him felt as though it was bleeding profusely inside of her, and she collapsed into the desk chair.
After a long period of reflection, she picked up the phone on the desk and dialed the Daily Planet.
"Hi, Jane. This is Lois Lane. Yes, I'm doing well, thank you. I was wondering if you had Clark Kent's address on file yet…"
Jason's small fingers hovered over the milk-white keys as he sat at the electric keyboard. Now he did not feel so afraid of what he had done on the bald man's boat. Superman was his father and that explained the sudden burst of strength he felt and made good use of. What else did it mean for him?
He began to slowly press the keys for "Heart and Soul," the only song he memorized so far.
Would he be able to fly? Or be "faster than a speeding bullet?" Or lift massive amounts of weight? But the biggest question for him was would he be rid of all his infirmities and physical frailty. He wanted to be healthy and strong like Superman, not have asthma plaguing him the rest of his days.
He felt safe knowing who was watching over him.
Then he was sad for his other dad, for Richard. He still wanted him there and knew things were going to be different. But he also knew everything would be all right.
He saw his mother out of the corner of his eye. "Do you still want to go see Clark?"
He nodded emphatically and left the piano at once, slipping into the dark blue jacket she held out for him.
"Let's go."
