Waking up in the middle of the night became a new part of Vanya's sleeping routine. It didn't really bother her all that much. She took out all her vacation days, so she didn't really have a reason to be up really in the morning anyway. She could catch the extra hours in the morning. Five didn't find it all that important if they ate at 7 or 10 a.m.

After the last week, she learned to be high alerted to sounds in her apartment that meant movement.

She looked at the other side of the bed that now belonged to Five as she convinced him just sharing a bed was better than spending half the night on the floor. He tried to protest, but after another failed attempt to stay on the couch, he agreed. It wasn't bad. Vanya would even say it was great. It was new to fall asleep next to someone, to listen to their breathing, movements, feel their warmth and presence, but at the same time, it was very calming. She knew it helped Five to relax more, and often took his hand into hers before dozing off so it would be easier for him to remember he was really back, and she was real. It seemed to help as he started to ask her about it less and less. She hoped that was a good thing.

They didn't talk about what happened to him. Whenever Vanya tried, it always seemed to tense the situation which forced her to back down remembering their first fight after he came back.

'They're cruel. I never…I never want to be cruel with you, I'm sorry, Vanya.'

He looked so guilty and remorseful then like he really believed that was all it would take to lose her. Like she even had it in her to walk away from him like that as if he meant that little to her. She doubted she would be able to walk away from him even if he was the worst kind of asshole toward her. But he would never be that. His words were cruel, but they were true. The truth hurt that was the whole point of it. No one wanted to see who they really were and what were they doing. But for now, they were in this fragile peace purposely avoiding such discussions to avoid any more fights and sorrow.

Five's side was empty which caused her stomach to drop and mind to fully wake up. He was having another episode. They continued to happen throughout the week he was back. From drifting away leaving his body just an empty shell she could do anything with, to insanity and fear that he wasn't really there and all around him was just an illusion or a dream in form of trying to convince himself by any means necessary that he was, to breaking into the fridge and trying to eat as much food as possible worried he wouldn't have any left before throwing up. It terrified Vanya every time even if she tried to hide it for his benefit. She was scared knowing that whatever he went through, whatever it was, was so bad he was this afraid, this lost, this broken.

'I'm a mess,' he said as Vanya wiped his mouth with one of her towels after she found him throwing onto her kitchen floor one early morning, 'You're my brother, my best friend.'

'Burden,' he said shaking his head slowly coming back to himself the broken look behind his green eyes enough to make Vanya cry.

She took his face into her hands forcing him to look at her, 'Don't say that. Don't ever say that. You can't be a burden if I love you.' He seemed to calm down after that. She tried to say it often as a last result when things were getting too much for either of them. It felt easier to say then and worked wonders on Five. He always looked surprised no matter how many times she said it. He always glanced at her face like he wanted to make sure that she was telling the truth before he let out a soft sigh accepting it and calming down. She didn't ask him why. She didn't comment that he never said it back. It was hard to say things like that especially with the way they grew up. But it was what Vanya knew in her heart was true. She loved her siblings all of them, and Five…Five maybe a bit more, maybe a bit differently, maybe… she just loved him, and she wanted him to be okay, nothing else not even her conflicted feelings mattered at the moment.

She made her way into the kitchen area and living room already hearing something. It wasn't walking or chewing as she expected, but it was something like scratching.

The room was dark with the only light coming from a flashlight while Five was standing in front of her living room wall writing on it a piece of rock.

Vanya blinked puzzled for a moment as this behavior was completely new.

She made her way toward him wondering where he even got those things before she realized they must have come from his mysterious black trash bag he kept hidden inside her closet. She never asked him what was inside as she assumed, he would have told her if he wanted to, like with the other things. Despite the desperation for answers and to make him better, Vanya respected Five enough not to try and see for herself believing it would be better if he told her himself.

Taking in a deep breath mentally preparing herself, she walked toward him making sure to create enough noise he would be aware she was approaching but not enough to scare him, 'Five?'

'Busy,' he mumbled and continued to write.

The scene was a familiar one. If Vanya didn't know better, she would think this was happening twelve years ago back in the academy where she came to his room and found him completely possessed by his equations and time-traveling research.

'Five, it's late,' she said softly and tried to take a step closer, 'You need to rest, you can do this tomorrow during the daylight.' This was something she used often to lure him to bed when he tried to work at night killing his eyes and exhausting his brain. She was always so worried about him. She cared for him so damn much even then.

'I know, but I thought of something that could help. I want to finish it, I promise, I will just…give me a moment,' he said while his hand continued to work. It was different than the other times he was having an episode. Usually, during those times, he didn't talk or talked in a weak voice that it wasn't real and that he needed proof that it was. Now he sounded almost normal enough that if Vanya didn't know better, she would believe he was himself.

She licked her lips and asked, 'Five, do you know where you are?'

He stopped writing.

As Vanya was facing his profile, she could see his slightly confused frown, 'W-why would you ask me that, Delores? Do you think it's funny?'

Vanya's mouth closed in an instant as she felt like someone kicked her into the stomach and force all the air out of her. She was left speechless. So far, Five never spoke about anyone from his life during those twelve eyes away not good people or bad people. No one. This was the first time, Five ever mention anyone, and Vanya couldn't help a stab of hurt and irrational jealousy upon hearing it was a female. It was ridiculous. Completely insane. Five was gone twelve years. He had to meet someone. How could he not? He had a life even if that life wasn't good. She couldn't hold it against him. She had no right. Wouldn't it be better to know in whatever he had been through he had someone he could talk to? Someone he liked and maybe cared for? But again, she didn't know that was even the case. He said a female name. It could have been anyone.

So why was it so hard for Vanya to open her mouth and say anything after he said that name?

Five turned to look at her for the first time probably taking her silence as a sign that something was wrong even when he wasn't thinking straight.

He watched her for a while the frown turning into no more than a slight confusion and then realization. The rock fell out of his hand and he reached it toward her face.

His fingers on her cheeks were warm and dusty from since writing on the wall with a rock worked like with chalk, but Vanya didn't care as her heart speeded up from the contact for some reason and heat crept into her cheeks melting the jealousy and negative feelings away as she watched Five's face lightened up when he recognized her.

'Vanya,' he breathed out with amazement and fascination no one ever showed toward her.

His eyes ran over her face for a moment before he blinked chasing the last bits of his episode away becoming familiar with the reality again.

He looked around and then back at her, 'I did it again? Sorry,' he said and let his hand drop from her face all too soon leaving her cold all of the sudden.

She managed to overcome her conflict and nod, 'Uh, you wrote on the wall. Time-traveling?' she asked and pointed at some equation, 'I recognize the coefficient.'

Five glanced at the wall and sighed clearly annoyed that it happened again. He was always apologetic or annoyed about it getting more and more frustrated as if it was something he was doing on purpose. Five used to be a control freak. It made sense that the possibility that he wasn't in control all the time would terrify him and therefore made him angry. People could be very angry if they were afraid.

Vanya touched his shoulder, 'We'll clean it up in the morning. Let's go back to sleep.'

He glanced at her for a second before he nodded and looked back at the wall, 'It was faulty anyway.'

Vanya blinked and looked at the wall again remembering the hours and hours Five spent working on it when he was younger before he left, 'Oh, too bad. I think it was clever and made sense.' Whenever Five talked about it, he was radiating with confidence. She believed his every word.

Five shook his head not moving away from the wall now looking truly upset for a different reason, 'Dad was right. It was a crapshoot. Like jumping into a lake without moving and hoping to give birth to a purple elephant. I was an idiot for thinking it would work the way I wanted it to,' his face darkened making it almost hard to recognize him his whole body giving out the aura of failure and anger that came along with it.

It was then that she understood. Slowly with great care, Vanya's head turned back to look at Five the episode completely forgotten. Her brown eyes were glued to Five's face realizing what he said and meant by it her heart speeding up once again.

'You…you time traveled.'

It wasn't a question, and she saw the way Five's face twisted for a moment realizing it was really true and made somewhat sense. He was arguing with dad about it and then ran away. It was the last time she saw him. He was just gone. No one ever saw him, but did dad even look? Vanya didn't know for sure, but if he did, but never found him it could have been because Five actually did time travel like he always wanted to.

She swallowed not sure what to ask next or say next before Five rose his hands and let it wipe some of the numbers off the wall ruining his equations, 'Doesn't matter.'

'How come?' she asked weakly feeling like she was shaking for some reason. All she had seen and known. Time-traveling. Five time-traveled. It was his dream. His greatest achievement. He did it.

'It ruined everything, my life, our family. If I had been there…maybe Ben…,' he forced his palm into a fist against the wall firmly, 'I wanted to come back…I wanted to come back so badly, but now that I'm here, I can't do anything about it. I don't know how,' he looked at Vanya angrily. It scared her a bit. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. He would never hurt her, but she didn't like seeing him this angry even if it wasn't at her, 'Five.'

His face softened a bit, but it was more like resignation than anything else.

Shaking his head, he started to walk toward the living room and bedroom, 'Let's go to sleep. No point in dwelling on it now.'

She watched him go trying to come up with a way to stop him and talk some more about it but didn't really know how.

She glanced at the ruined equations one last time before she turned off the flashlight and followed him to the bed. When she came, he was already on his side with his back toward her probably soaked in his own failure and misery.

Carefully, she crawled in behind him and moved as close to him as she could put her hand over his chest pulling herself closer protected by the dark of the night from the embarrassment that would result in a blush and doubts.

Five accepted her attempt to comfort him. He took her hand pulling her to his lips and pressing a soft kiss there. Their legs entwined under the covers.

'I love you. This is real, and you're here,' she whispered to him softly against his ear knowing he was still very awake lost in his thoughts, practically able to hear the wheels inside his head working.

She heard him sigh still very much annoyed with himself and whatever he was dealing with, 'What good does it do if I can't stop bad things from happening? What's it worth that I made it back?' The bitterness and regret were there. Maybe over Ben and maybe over something else, but Vanya wouldn't allow him drowned in them.

She held him tighter and then let her lips press against his neck kissing the skin there before she said with confidence knowing she meant it with every possible inch of her mind and soul, 'You came back. That will never be a bad thing, Five. Not for me. It's the most important thing for me that you made it back.'

She closed her eyes feeling wide open and vulnerable at that moment more than ever before, 'I missed you.'

He kissed her palm again a bit longer this time. She could feel some of the anger and anxiety leaving his body as he relaxed more against her, 'I missed you too.'

They didn't say anything else until they fell asleep. Vanya held him throughout the rest of the night. It felt good to be able to take care of him. To be useful like that. She would do anything to help him and make him feel better. She hoped she would be able to, but for now, she was grateful she could at least try knowing, he had at least her to try and help him.


That morning they were quieter than usual. Neither of them was a chatter, but occasional small talk or talks were nice. It filled Vanya's days in a way, she didn't realize she craved. At the mansion, there was always chatter if dad wasn't around. When she came to live on her own, there wasn't any and that really hit her hard at first. At first, she would try to turn on the radio or listen to music, but it wasn't the same. It made her feel lonely. She was always lonely ever since she could remember. She wasn't sure if being alone without anyone around was worse or better than if there people behind closed doors who didn't care that she was alone.

She glanced at Five as he assisted the coffee machine. It was seemingly his favorite task which was no surprise. Even as a kid he used to sneak into the kitchen and make himself a cup despite mom and dad's protest. Where the hell did he get the coffee in the first place since dad hated it and never kept it in the house, Vanya would never know.

'What year did you end up in?' she finally dared the ask feeling like if she didn't even try she would explode. She knew it could leave things for the worse. They were essentially two people trapped in her tiny apartment if he pushed too far, and they ended up in another fight they couldn't exactly avoid each other. But she couldn't help herself any longer.

Five's hand paused on the counter. He was doing it again, she realized. He was subconsciously writing equations, '2003, 2010, and 2019,' his voice changed into a tighter one, 'The first two were just a couple of seconds, the last one stuck the longest.'

She took it in. So he got all the way to seventeen years into the future.

'D-did you meet any of us? Future us?' she asked her own voice sounding strange as everything inside her was tensing with expectations of what he would say next or if he would talk at all.

Five was quiet for a moment his hand not moving before he very quietly admitted, 'Not the way I wanted to.'

Vanya's next words died inside her throat as the way he said it, it sounded completely heartbreaking which forced her to imagine the absolute worse.

The machine finished the coffee, and Five took a moment to turn to look at her his face revealing his hurt before it changed into active worry, 'You look pale. Are you sick?'

She felt a bit dizzy, but that was probably her emotional state getting the best of her. Did she take a pill this morning? She forgot if she did. Lately, it happened a lot with her head always on Five worrying about him, but at the same time, she wasn't sure they were working all that well since she seemed to be emotional with pills or without. She was probably just pushing herself too hard, but how could she not. She cared for Five and wanted to help him any way she could.

He was by her side in a second helping her into the chair even if she didn't really need it, 'Just breath, would you like some water?'

No, no, no!

He shouldn't be asking her that. He shouldn't be taking care of her like that. She should be the one who took care of him. This was the second time, she got emotional when he tried to reveal something, and she hated it. She felt like she was purposely forcing him to keep it inside him.

'Who else was dead?' she asked him instead of answering looking up at him. She knew it was hard, but she needed to ask. She needed to press him a bit into talking and to see that she wasn't some fragile little girl who needed him to worry about her getting upset.

He still looked worried rather than hurt.

She took his hand into hers her eyes fixed on his hoping he could find some comfort, 'You sounded-you looked so…Five, what happened in 2019?'

He opened and closed his mind. She could tell he was about to give in. Let out another piece of the puzzle that was his life. She could see it behind his green eyes looking over her face giving in little by little, 'It…nothing.'

She sighed disappointed that she could feel him shutting up again.

'Five?' she squeezed his hand tighter, 'I want to help you.'

'You are,' he said quickly and closed his eyes, 'You're the only thing that brings me back.'

He looked away for a second looking so small and weak, Vanya had to stand up and pull his tall frame closer to hug him properly just to hold him for a moment, 'I want to help you more.'

'You help me enough,' he said and hugged her back both careless about their breakfast and coffee at the moment just holding one another close, needing each other.

She felt Five take a deep breath and then titled his head a bit to be able to kiss her temple. It warmed her up again. It reminded her of yesterday, and it made her feel better. It shouldn't. She shouldn't feel better if he didn't feel better.

She closed her eyes, 'I just want to help you. It kills me not to know what's happening to you. Why are you hurting? What happened to you? I love you. I want you to feel better,' she buried her face against his chest breathing him in. She was familiar with his scent now knowing she never wanted to forget it again ever again. She never wanted him to leave ever again scared at just the possibility that he might in the future.

'When you say that, I know it's real,' she heard his mumble even if she had one ear pressed against his shoulder.

She leaned away to glance up at him but kept on holding onto him for dear life.

His eyes were closed as he spoke bringing his chin to rest on top of her head blocking her view probably on purpose, 'When you say that you…,' he stopped talking and she knew what he meant. She was right. Saying those words was hard growing the way they did. Even now. Even though she knew he cared for her just as much, 'I know it's real because whenever I thought of you, or dreamed of you or hallucinated you, I could never…you would never say that if this wasn't real. My mind could never create anything where you would say those words out loud like that.'

She nodded against his chest closing her eyes again, 'I…I get that.'

'Did I embarrass you?' he asked and brushed her back, and she quickly shook her head, too quickly, 'No…,' she bit her lip and then admitted weakly, 'a little.'

He chuckled. It wasn't perfect or happy, but it was a start and Vanya took it as such bringing herself to calm down even more.

Five leaned down to plant a kiss on top of her head, 'I care for you too.'

'I know,' she said quickly and the two of them fell into silence knowing they could stay like that for a moment and protect each other from their own anxieties. Vanya was glad he didn't say it in a way. She was worried if he did, and she would know he meant it like a friend or brother it would hurt too much.

'The coffee's getting cold,' she commented after what felt like ages, but Five didn't let her go, 'I drank worse.'

She involuntarily almost fell again into those dreadful feelings of guilt and worry before he said, 'Remember that time. Diego helped mom with tea.'

She chuckled at the memory, 'He put baking soda instead of sugar. It tasted awful.'

'We could have died. I will go on record claiming that it was a murder attempt,' he said bringing a smile to her face as she could hear his smirk as he spoke.

'Well, all those knives, the tendencies were there,' agreed Vanya feeling Five shook with laugher now quickly.

When they finally parted to get their coffee and breakfast, she felt better even if she knew she shouldn't. Once again, Five started to open up only to shut back down, and there was only so long Vanya would keep her protest to herself until she would confront him again. For now, she decided to rest the case for another couple of days. She still had a whole week worth of vacation days before she would have to make a decision if she wanted to continue her work with her current orchestra or not. But she still had some time for that. For now, she had money from the book and it wasn't the only music hall in the city. She could probably survive on her own while taking care of Five and maybe getting back to music again. Maybe if she took the pressure out of it, she wouldn't feel like she was failing all the time not even carrying about it.

She tried not to get into it too much, she was already dealing with a lot with Five, but it did scare and made her feel sad that she was losing the music. After Five left and Ben died it was the only thing she had. The only thing she could always count on. She kept the violin in her room or carried it around. It wouldn't leave her. It was the one thing she always had, who would she be without it? Could she survive without it?

She doubted it. She couldn't imagine it. Just like she couldn't imagine losing Five again. The thought chilled her bones and brought even more anxiety into her soul than she already felt based on all that happened and was going on. It seemed the only thing that helped was being around Five and falling back into the familiarity of having him in her life. It was easy in a way. When there were no episodes and subtle little clues of something being wrong, it was just like when they were kids. Comfortable, relaxing, lovely.

She smiled around him more than she did in the last couple of years. It was always easy with Five. There was a connection between them ever since she could remember. He wasn't like the others toward her. He was still a jerk at times, but that was just who he was, but where it counted, when she needed him, he was Five and he was there for her.

But she knew she couldn't allow herself to fall completely into the comfort of having him back. She needed to keep in mind, he got hurt whenever he was physically and mentally. If she understood it correctly 2019 was bad like more of their siblings' dead bad. It sickened her to imagine that even with everything bad between them, and her thoughts getting the best of her, she would never really want bad things to happen to them. She loved her siblings. She could be upset with them, and not like them a bit at short-lived moments, but she would always love them. They were family even if a messed up one. They were all they had. Five was right. She might not have been a part of the Academy, but she always was and would be a Hargreeves.


They spent most of the day in their usual routine watching TV shows and movies, booking, and talking. Everything which felt a million times better with the company as Vanya learned. Five acted more himself asking her sometime after dinner if she had a chessboard, 'I remember you got close a few times to beat me.'

'Yeah, I would have too if you didn't cheat,' she said pointing an accusing finger at her.

'Ah, right, I also remember now what a sour loser you were,' he said grinning at her the teasing light and warm.

She pretended to be offended and went to find a chess set she bought ages ago not really knowing why. They started to play. She got close, but once again never actually bested Five. Probably for the best, with an ego as big as his, she couldn't imagine what would be the outburst. If she thought she was a sour loser, she couldn't even picture him.

Five glanced at her clock on the wall, 'It's close 2 A.M.'

He was right. It surprised her that they managed to stay up that long even if their sleeping schedules were off, and they kept on waking up later and later. She supposed it was due to having fun and enjoying themselves that they lost track of time. It was a while since Vanya felt this relaxed and happy feeling like smiling the whole time. Five looked much better too, teasing her and trying to get on her nerve to distract her and throw her off her game.

Vanya moved on the couch still hugging her legs, 'Do you want to go to bed?' She figured she would be fine either way. They could play again tomorrow or do something else.

His face was unreadable for a moment before he looked at the chessboard again, 'Would you like to go for a walk?'

'Sure,' she said immediately before she even fully processed what he asked. Over the course of the week, he was insane Five clearly avoided going out. She wasn't sure why, but she knew it had something to do with his trauma. With the future. 2019 the year the rest of her siblings were dead.

Five looked at her, and as she realized she didn't move after she agreed she quickly jumped to her feet and rushed to the bedroom, 'I will get dressed.'

'It's just a walk,' he called after her with some amusement, and she rolled her eyes until she heard him mumble something like '…if it was a date.'

She paused with her hand on the handle and walked out again, 'What did you say?'

'Nothing!' he snapped quickly and turned completely away from her hiding against the couch, 'Hurry up.'

She wasn't sure what to make out of it, so she decided to just find some jeans and a jacket to go throwing an aa hoodie she figured would be his or a size better at him.


There were fewer people and noises outside. Whatever happened to him maybe it seemed to help that it was just to the two of them like shadows walking around in secret. No one except her still knew he was back. He didn't seem to mind or care. That rubbed her the wrong way. If the others were dead like she assumed from what little he allowed her to see, wouldn't he want to see them the way he wanted to see her? Wouldn't he want to know they were okay?

They got dressed and headed out for the first time in a week. The night was nice, warm, and quiet. It was Tuesday so there weren't many people up in Vanya's neighborhood. They rarely met anyone around, and if it looked like a group of people was coming their way they changed the direction altogether.

She would be lying if she didn't admit that it felt good to be outside in the fresh air.

Vanya thought they were going rather randomly until Five stopped in front of one of the shopping malls nearby.

She stopped in track as well watching as he started to look shifty about something. She wondered if he was preparing himself to tell her something before she took a step closer to him hoping to look better, more confident, and stronger enough for him to believe she could handle it, 'What's wrong?'

He looked at the ground for a second before he looked back at her carefully, 'I want to show you, someone.'

Vanya blinked. He looked worried. Not scared or panicked but definitely worried. Whatever or whoever he wanted to tell her or show her she forced herself to calm down and be strong for him.

She tried to offer him an encouraging look, 'I'm ready if you are.'

He offered her his hand, 'I will have to blink us in.'

She looked at his hand and took it before she looked up at him, 'Lead the way, Five.'

She tried to brace herself for the jump, but it still left her feeling sick for a second before Five carefully helped her sit down. They were inside one of the stores with clothing.

'Aren't there cameras ?' she whispered not really all that worried about them. She trusted Five.

'I can go to the office and erase them afterward like I used to back home,' he said stroking her back as she took in breaths to calm down nausea. He was referring to the time they used to sneak out of the house together.

They were sitting on the floor for a while before she finally felt her stomach returning to normal.

Vanya looked around. The place was dark with some light coming from the outside windows. They were in the middle of the store in front of three mannequins dressed in fancy clothes.

'The one in the middle is Delores,' he said suddenly, and Vanya's eyes moved to the one with the dark-haired wig and polka blouse. Delores was a mannequin.

When Vanya glanced over at Five, he was staring at the ground. He looked nervous. She understood why. She knew he wondered if she thought he was crazy.

'She's pretty. Kind of like an actress from the '60s,' she said honestly watching the corner of Five's lips move upwards before they fell down again.

He didn't look at her and even though his voice was firm everything about him made her want to reach out and pull him into her arms. He looked broken, really broken, and Vanya wondered just how hard it must have been for him to talk about it and just how much he was hiding inside him if a person could carry that much pain but still smile and laugh at times.

'I found her in 2019. Just her, the only survivor like me. For a second I thought it was you,' he glanced at her his eyes shining with tears he didn't let out, 'I found the others sooner, but not you. Not Ben, not dad, ' he shrugged his shoulders looking back at the ground, 'Everyone was older so I guessed you would be too, and for a second she looked like you. For the next twelve years, she was the only one I had. We talked…,' he swallowed and then nodded, 'I talked, she listened, sometimes she talked back…when that happened, she sounded like you…So I often thought it was you, but,' he chuckled a bit and looked away from her completely, 'I had to tell myself it wasn't because…I needed to continue, to try and get back to you. I was scared that if I fell for it…if I believed it…if I thought she was you…I would…I would give up and accept that I was there…stuck.'

She understood what he meant. If he accepted Delores was her, he would give up on whatever he was doing to get back home.

A shiver ran through her, she took his hand, 'You found the others?'

'Dead,' he said confirming what she already assumed. He looked at the ground for a moment, 'Everyone was dead. The whole world,' he looked at her again with eyes full of sorrow and agony, 'Something happened. On April the 1st 2019 the world ended or I think it did because any piece of newspapers or evidence pointed to it so I have to assume it happened then,' he licked his lips and brushed his palms against his pants. He was nervous maybe even anxious. She could tell, 'At night, the moon in the sky was damaged, so my guess is either it was the cause of whatever happened or result of whatever happened on earth. Either way. The others tried to stop it. I found them together, Luther was holding onto this,' he said and pulled something out of his pants.

Vanya tried not to let out a startled sound upon seeing the eye before she properly examined it with her gaze, 'It's fake?'

'Yeah, I think it will be too soon to actually go and ask the manufacturer about it, so I tried to at least work on the investigation in my head, but….,' he grimaced and closed his eyes, 'I get stuck…in memories and there…and I feel that I'm still there and all of this is just a fantasy or hallucination until you…,' he looked into her eyes showing just how vulnerable he was and small in that moment, 'until you bring me back. You always bring me back, Vanya.'

Vanya was biting into the side of her cheek as hard as she could not to throw her hands around him and cry feeling that if she did Five wouldn't be able to continue.

She took his hand again linking their fingers and hoping she looked supportive enough for him to carry on. She probably did because Five rewarded her with a small sad smile before he continued, 'Whatever happened killed everyone as far as I can tell. There was just silence. At first, there was fire and still crumbling down buildings and damaged things, but after a while, even those quiet down, and there was just absolute silence. I guess that was when I started to talk to Delores,' he looked up at the mannequin in question lost in his thoughts, 'Remember how much I use to hate everyone who would bother me when I was working. I was such a jerk to everyone when they disturb my calculations and then…there was silence. At first, it didn't bother me. I thought it was temporary. I would make it out. I was a part of the Umbrella Academy. Dad trained me well, and I was the best in adapting to whatever situation he threw at us. This would be another test, and I would succeed in it and go home.'

She allowed her thumb to brush the back of his hand as he slowly started to shake his head, 'But I couldn't. I spent hours and days just working without doing anything else, but I couldn't figure it out. I had to constantly remind myself to drink water and look for food and travel just function because the more I worked the more I couldn't figure it out and got lost every damn time. There was nothing. No people, no animals, no life, no food, no useful things. Just garbage. Just things partly damage, partly broken, partly burnt. I had to walk for hours and hours until I found something to stack for later. It was endless and hopeless, and I think I lost myself both in the failed calculations and loneliness,' he looked up at Delores again the light from above perfectly illuminating her face as if she was standing on the stage.

Vanya was speechless trying to hold onto his hand in order to process what he just told her. It all made sense. All of it. All the episodes, why he sometimes needed to eat everything afraid it would be gone, why he always said he had worse, why he said he missed her more and was so worried about her leaving him alone, why he was less confident in himself and…

'I…I still can't believe I'm here. I didn't…I worked for twelve years and nothing, I…I shouldn't be here,' he looked at Vanya, 'I literally shouldn't.'

She squeezed his hand her voice shaking with emotions as she spoke feeling like she would fall apart herself any moment realizing the full weight of his words and what happened to him, 'But you are. You made it back. You…you got out and you're home now. You…we have four years to figure it out. We have time. You can heal, and I will help you in any way I can. I can go ask about the eye myself or whatever things you need without you having to go anywhere,' she said practically rambling anything that came into her mind still shocked and shaken by it all.

The end of the world

'No,' he shook his head, 'I didn't even know what day or year it was, Vanya. I literally lost it. The first time I came to myself was when you touched my face that had to be at least days after I was of sane mind,' he told her shaking his head with determination, 'I was starving and thirsty and everything hurt and then I got possessed by my calculations again and then just-you,' he squeezed her hand just as tight as she had his a moment ago, 'I didn't jump, Vanya. I know I didn't. I have no idea how did I end up back. Let alone in your apartment. I didn't even know where your apartment was. How could I have?'

Vanya looked at their hands thinking about it. It was true. Five appeared in her living room and there was blue light coming from the living room after he was already there but he didn't teleport then. He already was inside, 'You tried to teleport I think…your hands were turning blue, but you didn't.'

Five blinked looking surprised but nodded, 'Because I couldn't. I tried for days, years but I never had the right equations, and I couldn't get anywhere not even a second sooner or later.'

Vanya looked at him, she was still confused by it. She thought he came back on his own, but it didn't really make sense he knew where she was if in 2019 everything was gone. He also didn't really recognize her. She told him who she was and said his name over and over again until he believed her, 'But if you didn't make it back on your own then how?'

Five shook his head his eyes looking tired and hard, 'I have no idea. But I'm sure more than anything that it couldn't be me, and whoever or however I got back I have to assume it was to stop it.'

She recognized the burden of what was expected from him all too well. Growing up she saw it in her siblings' faces many times. They were the Umbrella Academy raised for greatness. Nothing else mattered than what dad wanted, and they couldn't say no. They couldn't deny him. They couldn't be just kids. They were dad's soldiers.

They fell into silence for a moment both taking it all in. Five the fact that he opened up and admitted all that happened and Vanya the truth of what happened. She was stunned almost paralyzed with her thoughts running from one place to another. But she wasn't devastated. Not the way she feared she would be at least. Maybe it was the shock, but despite the fear of the potential doomsday and sadness of Five's fate for the last twelve years, she couldn't help but feel hope that the fact that he made it back and had at least one clue could somehow change the course of it all.

'Did you find your own body?' she asked carefully, 'You said not me, Ben or dad. What about yourself?' she asked carefully and watched him shake his head, 'No. I looked but there were only strangers close to our siblings. No one else with a tattoo.'

He looked at her, 'It probably means I didn't make it back the first time at all.'

She swallowed her throat going dry with the possibility that in some timeline, some alternative version of their universe, Five didn't come back ever.

She let her other hand touched his cheek and beard, 'But this time you did. This time it means something that you are here. This time you have a shot. You can heal with time. Get better. I will help you in any way, I can. You know that. And once you're ready you can investigate and figure it out. There has to be a reason why it happened when you were gone, and why you go brought back. I know it.'

Five was silent for a moment watching her, his green eyes falling into hers with fear, intensity but also hope she figured mirrored her own. It was easy to be afraid, but with them together like this touching, comforting each other with their presence and warm Vanya couldn't fall into hopelessness no matter how tempting it was. She could tell Five couldn't either even before he slowly nodded, 'Yeah, as long as we're both alive we'll always have a shot. And I'm glad that you're on board. I will need you a lot. No slacking off,' he joked weakly, but she appreciated the effort anyway.

She smiled softly at him, and he matched it with his own soft attempt at a smile once again both of them left in the privacy of their own thoughts.

After a while, she let her hand fall from his face but remained holding his hand with the other one.

She looked back up at Delores, 'Do you want to take her with us?'

His eyes blinked revealing the surprise behind them, 'What?'

She shrugged her shoulders trying to find a lighter topic even if just for a moment, 'I have some space near the couch for her. You miss her, I understand if you want to keep her near again,' Vanya knew loneliness better than anyone. She knew how devastating it felt for her that she was losing her music, her violin with doubts, so she could imagine that for Five it must have been a million times worse. He was completely alone. Just him. And all he had was her, Delores. Vanya would understand if he wanted to take her with him again only to resume some more of his sanity to know he had someone even if he would find himself back in the prison of his memories.

Five glanced at her for a couple of moments with a gentle look before he smiled and shook his head, 'She should be with her people.' His smile widened a bit as he must have thought of some secret or a happy memory from before he said, 'Anyway, I'm kind of surprised she's already here though. The clothes are different than those I found her in, but the wig is the same.'

Vanya looked at her again sensing the change of topic was probably to lighten up the previous conversation about doomsday apparently.

She took an objective look at the mannequin, 'She's very pretty. I would date her.'

She held back a smirk as Five flinched next to her looking at her for a couple of moments. She let him soak in it for a moment before she chuckled, 'Don't look so surprised, I told you I liked Noami Watts.'

'You also said you liked the guy who played Dano Darko when we snuck into a movie theater that one time,' he recalled the time they decided to go to movies instead of their usual spot in Griddy's, and she shrugged her shoulders trying to look as casual as possible, 'Yeah, it took me a while to figure out why though.' She could have kept it as a joke. It wasn't something she thought about often. She just knew it and carried on with her life. Nothing really changed. She didn't really change. You couldn't change who you were. But it could change how people saw her. What they thought of her. That was something that always held her back whenever she thought about saying it out loud. It wasn't a secret. She figured it would be a secret if she kept it hidden if she lied about it. But she didn't do any of that since no one ever asked.

Five watched her for a moment, and she would be lying if she didn't admit she held her breath a bit before she heard him chuckle. She felt like some weight fell off her chest when she watched the smirk spread across his face as his eyes filled with amusement looked at Delores, 'Well, you would make a cute couple.'

'Did you ever thought about being in a couple with her?' she asked pretending to sound innocent enough.

'All the time,' said Five and then grimaced, 'Loneliness can do that to a person you know.'

Vanya rubbed his shoulder in conform smiling at him softly, 'For what it's worth, I'm glad you had her. If she helped you at least a bit to make it all less miserable, I'm really happy she was there for you.'

Five nodded and mumbled a soft thanks before they once again fell into the comfort of their own thoughts, 'So how did you find out? I imagine it was less dramatic than when Klaus came to the Senator's ball wearing Allison's second favorite pink dress.'

Vanya bursted out of laughter in surprise remembering the moment Klaus came down the stairs as she was saying goodbye to the others dressed in Allison's clothes. If dad had a heart, she would say that he was close to getting a heart attack.

When she stopped laughing still feeling light and amused by the memory she looked back at him taking in his soft smile with the same fondness she always felt when she saw him smile like that directly at her playing with her heart and emotions without meaning to.

'Well, I've only ever been with two guys,' she bit the corner of her mouth looking away feeling strangely ashamed to admit that which was ridiculous since Five more or less admitted he never was with anyone,' but I know I also like women. Not like I like any particular woman right now. But in general, I know I like both,' she said realizing it was the first time she was able to say it out loud and that it was the truth, 'I knew it since I was a kid. I liked the models and actors in Allison's magazine just as much as I liked…,' you, 'boys.'

She felt like that for as long as she could remember admiring both genders. It just took her a while to get to understand that it wasn't just about their clothes or hair but that she actually liked them as people not really all that bothered that some of those people were women too.

She finally allowed herself to look over at Five. Even before Five showed up and brought with him the feelings she kept locked for twelve years Vanya's love life was hitting below zero. There had been occasional sparks of interest, but just as quickly as they came, she chickened out. Even if she wasn't busy with him, she wasn't thinking about doing something with it. She didn't look forward to going on crappy dates with people who caught her interested for a few minutes at a time. She looked for deeper meaning and connection, and so far, she hadn't really felt anything like that from anyone. She wondered if it was her own fault. If she was just too hard on people and expected too much. Maybe she just needed to try it and not wait for well-Five or someone who would cause her to feel as special as she did when she was a kid. However, now that he actually came back, she didn't think it was that crazy not to want to waste time with people she didn't feel anything even remotely close to what she felt around Five. If she couldn't have the real thing, why bother? Why waste time? Why live unhappily with people who couldn't give you everything? Who couldn't make you feel everything? Especially when she knew it was possible to feel it all with the right person. How could anyone compete? How could anyone be a substitute for the real honest thing?

They couldn't.

'I guess you must think I' m a different person now, ' she said trying to look casual even if inside she was struggling a bit at the moment. This was the first time she said it out loud and to Five of all the people. He was all alone in a wasteland for years. This could have been hard for him to understand. Not to mention, she never said it to anyone, and Five could be so opinionable with his decisions and ideas. She felt dreadful about what he would do or say next simply because she would hate it if he didn't accept it if he didn't accept her. It didn't really change anything for her. She was who she was, and she liked who she liked. But not everyone could see it that way. She knew people could assume anything. Not everyone could be supportive which was why she really needed Five to be.

When she felt his thumb stroked hers and realized he hadn't let her hand go all through their talk, she let out a revealed sigh, she knew he heard and smiled a bit wider, 'No, you're still you. You're still Vanya. Just more honest with yourself,' he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly,' If you would like oatmeal that would make you a different person-, she chuckled and remained smiling relief filling her entire body knowing they were still good. He understood that part of who she was, and he still looked at her the same. It meant a lot, 'I wouldn't even know who you are. Like, do you now also like broccoli? What about apples-'

'Stop!' she told him grinning. It was hard not to.

Five chuckled and shook his head, 'You're still Vanya. That's all that matters to me. It always has, you know that.'

She nodded, 'Yeah.'

She lowered her head a bit looking at the ground still smiling a bit, 'Thanks.'

He shook his head again, 'You don't need to thank me for that,' his eyes wandered to Delores again, and Vanya wondered if he wasn't talking to her even now with his mind before he looked back at her with a bit of a serious look, 'I love you.'

She blinked not able to hide her surprise as she assumed, they got out of the serious talk for now and the last thing she expected was that he would admit it. What Five said this morning was true. For him those words were sacred. He meant it when he said he cared for her, and clearly even felt those words she told him so often to bring him back, but he never actually said them.

'I know, I love you too,' she said finally as she nodded again, but Five shook his hand and leaned closer to her. Their knees bumped and he took her other hand now holding both of her hands while looking at her in a way that changed the intensity of their air around them.

Vanya felt her heart speed up again, for now, reason and for a different kind of pressure to appear inside her stomach and chest now tight as a knot ready to break, 'No, not the way you think…'

He swallowed hard looking nervous and incredibly boyish all of the sudden, 'I love you, but not as a brother or best friend-well obviously that too, but I-I love you, and I know the timing isn't great with me so messed up...but you were honest with me, and I feel I need to be with you too about everything not just the end of the world...I love you, Vanya' he rambled a bit, and even in the fainted light, she could tell he was blushing. She never saw Five blush before. She saw him red with embarrassment whenever dad called him an idiot or dismissed his calculations but never blushing and acting this nervously before.

Five cursed under his breath and looked a bit away probably the nervousness getting the best of him, 'I love you…since we were kids just you, and that didn't change, and I know that you care for me, but don't feel-'

'I love you too,' she said quickly, and Five offered her a sad smile, 'Yes, but you don't get it, I want to explain that I-'

She opened and closed her mouth realizing, he didn't understand or believe her and was a jerk enough not to let her explain to him. She knew him too well.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Vanya leaned forward and caught his lips in a soft barely second lasting kiss.

When she leaned away, she took a mental picture of Five's face because never in her entire life did she see him or thought she would ever again see him so confused and shocked like she just told him the meaning of the universe with her chaste kiss against his lips.

'I love you too, Five,' she said and offered him a giggle watching as his face slowly overcame the shock, and his lips formed an actual grin, 'Well, that's good then.'

She nodded feeling the blood rushing into her cheeks, but before she could say anything, they heard someone open a door and a man with a flashlight called out, 'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU TWO-'

The man didn't get to finish since Five quickly got them out somewhere to a back alley.

Vanya felt sick again, but it wasn't as horrible as it was the first two jumps still high on the feeling of almost getting caught and Five's confession.

'Oh my God! That was horrible! I can't imagine not freaking out on mission-,' this time Five abruptly cut her speech, but putting his hands against her cheeks and bending down to kiss her.

It startled her for a moment as she was still on high alert from getting caught by the guard, but Vanya quickly overcame the shock surrendering to the sensation of Five's lips against her own. They were chopped a bit not as delicate as hers, but she liked them even more because of it. She felt incredibly warm putting her arms around his neck kissing him harder and trying to guide him a bit in his first attempts. They weren't sloppy. God protect anyone who would ever accuse Five Hargreeves of being sloppy in anything. But Vanya could feel his novicity and eagerness in his abrupt brushes and hard breathing. He was excited. And the idea that she made him feel like that thrilled her in a way no first kiss ever had.

When they broke apart for air, she couldn't help a proud smirk upon seeing Five struggling to catch air just as much as she was. She didn't expect to affect him that much.

His hands moved to her back holding her close while looking down at her, 'Was that okay?'

She nodded all too quickly both of them grinning at the other like two fools. Fools in love.

'But,' she brushed her palms against his chest, 'We should go slow. So you can heal and save the world.'

He watched her for a moment and then nodded, 'As long as you're by my side, I can do it. I know can.'

She smiled before she said truthfully, 'I believe that I believe you.'

Five pressed his forehead against hers, and Vanya took a deep breath allowing all the conflicted feelings inside and untie like the knot in her chest and blossom into something wonderful at least for tonight. At least for a moment tonight, she could let all her worries and fears fade away with their foreheads touching connected in a way they never could with anyone else.


A.N: Hey, thank you all for the support :) I hope you liked this chapter as well. I hope everyone is doing okay and is safe. Also in this house, we stan our king Elliot Page :) Have a nice day