Vanya woke up to the smell of something very delicious as her mouth almost instantly watered at the scent even if she was never one to eat immediately after waking up. It didn't startle her as much as it usually did when she woke up alone now. Ever since Five came back, she got used to his presence pretty quickly feeling especially alerted when she found his absence beside her.
'Good morning,' she said as she carefully walked toward him as he worked in her tiny kitchen.
'Good morning to you too,' he said and appeared by her side quickly dropping a kiss on her cheek causing her to smile, 'Have a seat. I'm almost done.'
No beard meant not scratching. She would miss it, but at the same time, she was a bit glad he got rid of it since, after that first time, they made out in her hallway, her pale white face got beard burns.
Five apologized profoundly and repeatedly in the next morning while Vanya could only laugh as he almost immediately went into the bathroom and started to shave before he had to hand the task to Vanya since he had never really done it before. It was a nice and funny moment in her mind, and her face stopped itching after two or three days during which they only left at night when there were fewer people around.
The smile present on Vanya's now pale and cured face again widened even more as she watched him finish working.
He looked so domestic moving around the short kitchen counter and working on the pancakes.
'Look, no burns,' he said cockily with a smirk obviously very proud of himself.
Vanya giggled and took a bite almost immediately after he sat the plate in front of her, 'Delicious.'
'I would say you flatter me, but you cannot be wrong since I tasted them myself,' he said and kissed her quickly on the lips.
She watched him with unmasked contentment enjoying seeing him so happy. It was rare. Over the last couple of days, he certainly shifted a bit more toward a much lighter state. She only woke up two times to find him writing over her walls or confused about his surroundings. He seemed better. Definitely more in control of himself and his state too.
'Did you sleep well? You certainly look better,' she said still smiling while eating feeling just a tiny stab of envy that she was never this good of a cook.
'I did. I dream about the time we were kids,' he said still joyfully which meant it had to be a good memory, 'On a mission in Paris.'
'Oh,' said Vanya for a second feeling a bit sad that she didn't share the moment with him, but ultimately decided not to let it bring her down, 'Tell me about it.'
'Please, you heard it a million times. We always loved to run your ear with our missions. Everyone one of us telling you his or her version like it was what really happened. We liked to be important in your eyes,' he said almost annoyed, but not too upset even if he rolled his eyes.
He was still smirking though.
'Yeah, right, maybe that was you, the others…,' she disagreed for a moment before she paused. Perhaps, Five was right and they were bragging only because they wanted her to know their side of the story. Not always because they wanted to make her feel bad about what she missed out on. The thought reminded her all over again about her book, and how now they all hated her. Everyone except Five who still didn't know about her book. The horrible, devious book that ruined her last chance to ever be close with her siblings. The book that she purposely hid inside her bookcase in a way, Five wouldn't find it.
That book.
Five seemed to notice her state because his hand found her arm, and he gently squeezed it, 'You okay?'
She nodded, 'Yes, sorry. Tell me about your dream? I don't mind hearing about it again.'
He didn't seem convinced. Something flashed behind his green eyes, but he humored her anyway, by retelling the story about Paris. She couldn't help but laughed at the end listening to him describe who Klaus made an idiot out of the mayor of Paris and their father forbade him to ever speak in public again.
It was hilarious all the same, but afterward, it got Vanya to think.
'I-If you would like to meet up with them, we can arrange it,' she suggested hating how quiet and weak her voice sounded, but she couldn't help it. She would never hold Five back. She wanted to be with him and take care of him and help him, but she would never do so for her own benefit at least, she would like to think of herself as a good enough person that she wouldn't. So, she understood that even if her siblings hated her and wished to never see her again, Five might miss them. He didn't see them for twelve years. He used to be close with them. He used to be a part of the Umbrella Academy unlike her. There had to be something. Maybe he would also like to see Pogo and mom? Vanya would hate that he was only avoiding them in her favor because he noticed she didn't really spend time with them anymore.
Five chuckled, 'Yes, as tempting as it is, to dive headfirst into that chaotic bullshit, I think for now I will pass.'
He came to stand behind her as she washed the dishes. His arms hugged her from behind. He had to lean down quite a bit to be able to put his chin over her shoulder, but it seemed he didn't mind, and the woman definitely didn't as she felt nicely warm and secured. She never had this before with anyone else. She loved every second of it.
When he spoke again, Five's voice was low and a bit seductive in Vanya's mind causing her hands to grip the plate and sponge tighter so she wouldn't drop them and ruin the moment with a loud noise, 'Besides, I really like having you all to myself. I dreamed about it in the apocalypse in a very long time, you know.'
'Y-yeah?' her voice shook, but she felt too thrilled and electric to be embarrassed by it, 'Did you dream about this? Us playing house?' She asked hoping it didn't come out as mocking.
But Five's low chuckle that reached something inside her lower body told her it most certainly didn't, 'Very much so.'
His lips kissed her temple before he let her go in favor of making another cup of coffee. Vanya didn't mind all that much since he stayed close, and it was probably for the best. Either Five didn't know how easily he got her to dive into very hot territory or he did and enjoyed causing to set her on fire. They promised each other to go slow, but at times it was very hard, and it wasn't uncommon for them to break on the couch with both of them panting hard, pupils dilated, and half of their clothing unbuttoned.
She didn't mind it, but it was very much for the best if they went slow. For the both of them.
'What do you want to do today?'
'Uh, I think I will quit my job actually,' confessed Vanya looking over at Five to find him blinking surprised before his eyebrows furrowed, and eyes narrowed. The scowl wasn't unusual for him, but it was rarely this openly directed at her.
She tried to explain, 'It's not because of you…well, not completely. I'm happy with you here. Happier than I was in a very long time,' she confessed and smiled just thinking about how good she felt now really worked wonders on her daily state, 'So yes, I want to be with you as long as I can, but also, I don't feel so good at my work. I don't know, it…it doesn't bring me joy anymore. I haven't touched my violin in ages, and I just really think I should maybe start to do something else? Something that will make me feel better about myself? Maybe it's stupid, but-'
'It's not stupid,' said Five and came back to her taking her face between his hands. His green eyes were shining with emotion and his lips curved into such a soft smirk it was almost a smile, 'I thought you were doing it for me. Like you were afraid to leave me alone, and I can't accept that, but if your job really makes you feel so poorly about yourself, then yes, quit. Find something better, something that makes you feel like you want,' he stroked her cheeks with her fingers, 'But please, pick up your violin and play a bit before you do, alright? You promised me you would remember?'
Vanya sighed, 'I know, I just…playing in work took a lot of what I loved about it out for me, I'm sorry.'
Five chuckled, 'Why are you apologizing for that? It's not your fault, darling Vanya.'
She couldn't help but smile hearing him address her so sweetly.
He leaned down again and kissed her softly pulling at her lower lip with his own lips causing her to let out a soft sigh, 'Play for me. Just once. Something you liked to play as a child.'
'How about something you would like?' she asked, but he shook his head and hugged her around the waist swaying a bit with her, 'No, something you like. Something that makes you happy.'
She wrinkled her nose, 'I don't know what.'
'Yes, you do! Now, stop being so difficult and play it for me,' he said, and she rolled her eyes at his demands, 'Don't boss me around. I don't like it.'
He smirked, 'You missed it.'
'Hardly.'
'Definitely.'
'Jerk.'
'I never said I wasn't, but if it really bothers you, I will stop you know that,' he said, and she nodded feeling almost like it was like old times in a way. Just the two of them joking around. It was familiar and nice. Vanya never wanted anything more than to have this with someone-no, not someone. With Five. Always with Five. That was why the two partners she had never measured up. She wanted Five.
Sighing she closed her eyes and smiled, 'I liked playing Ode to Joy.'
He grinned before he let her go in order for her to get her violin, 'Sounds perfect.'
Vanya rolled her eyes feeling silly, but ultimately, she did get into her room and picked up her violin, and played. She felt better about it than she had in ages smiling before she told him she would stick to her decision and quit.
'I have some money. I can survive for a couple of months and then see what will happen,' she assured him and brushed his hair softly, 'You can take as much time as you need to get better. Whatever you need I can help.'
He nodded accepting it and hugged her making sure he would be careful with her violin which she appreciated.
Ever the course of the next couple of hours, they ate and watched TV shows they grew to like before night fell, and they decided to take another walk.
Everything was calm and quiet on these days, and they often picked up places that didn't have many people around on the street, so Five wouldn't get overwhelmed.
At first, Vanya didn't really pay attention to a man walking opposite from them. She followed Five with her eyes as he purposely made her sure he wouldn't be close to colliding with the man, but apart from that didn't seem all too interested in him either.
'You!' came an accusing male voice.
Vanya's stomach dropped as she recognized the man, who was suddenly not a few steps away but in front of her as none other than her brother, Diego. The person who told her to go die in a ditch the last time they spoke.
'The hell are you doing here? Enjoying a freaking stroll not a single care in the world?'
Her whole body started to shake. Ever since Five was around, she hadn't been great with taking her pills. She still took them, but she didn't abuse the dosage as she did before just to numb the pain and loneliness.
She couldn't do this. She couldn't handle it. Not without her pills, not with.
She noticed Five's confused look.
'What no more secrets to spread and fucking betray us?'
'I didn't-'
'The hell you didn't!' yelled Diego far too close to her for her liking making her feel like she should step back and cover her face. She was never hit before, and she wouldn't think Diego would try to hit her, but he seemed angry, and rightfully so, and she didn't know him as well as she used to.
'Hey, back off!' snapped Five suddenly in front of her pushing Diego away.
'Who the hell are you?! This is family business, asshole!' complained Diego looking at the man.
He didn't recognize his long-lost brother apparently, which was probably a good thing since Vanya got terrified that if he would, he could spin it and make it seem like she purposely lied to Five about her book.
'Let's just go, please,' she said taking a hold of Five's wrist and trying to drag him away. She hoped Diego wouldn't follow them.
'Don't fucking talk to her like that,' said Five icily to the other man who clenched his fist, 'Who the hell are you? Her boyfriend? Let me tell you, you have fucking treat-'
Five didn't let him finish punching him into the face, 'Shut up!'
The fight broke out immediately with the two of them trying to get the other one into the ground. Luckily, Diego hadn't reached for his knives yet, but she got so freaked out that before Vanya could stop herself she heard herself screaming, 'DIEGO! FIVE! STOP IT!'
'W-what d-did you say?' asked Diego looking at her before Five got him to the ground.
He hit his head hard, 'The hell is your problem, you asshole?!'
Diego blinked at the man, and Vanya could see the recognition behind his eyes as he slowly sat up, 'Holy Shit! It is you! You-you -FUCK YOU! What the hell is this?! You're fucking too good to come to see us, but you let her know where you are?'
The man got to his feet looking more hurt than angry which caused Vanya to cover her mouth realizing he must have missed Five too, 'What did you know where he was all this time? Why the hell wasn't his return in your book? Did you come back to make up for lost time?!'
'You don't know shit, as usual, you idiot!' snapped Five viciously, and Diego's face changed again into a much more upset one, 'Fine, both of you, and go fuck yourself with your stupid book!'
He didn't give them time to say anything else, not that Vanya was capable to speak. She just stood there and watched as Diego walked away from them not once looking back. Her heart broke a bit knowing just how deeply his hate for her run and how now he probably hated her even more.
She started to shake more violently than before. She needed her pills to numb all these emotions and pain. The wind started to gain on its strength and before she knew it she felt Five's arms around her.
'Hold tight,' he whispered and in the next moment, he blinked them away into her bedroom carefully helping her to sit down.
Neither of them turned on the light as she felt tears fall down her eyes, 'S-sorry, I'm sorry. I lied…I should have told you.'
'That Diego's an ass?' Five brushed her hair lovely, 'You're over twenty years late on that one, Vanya.'
She shook her head, 'No, the book…my book.'
Five kneeled down in front of her waiting for her to finish.
'I wrote a book about…us, the academy, dad, our family. I wrote and I told the world everything that happened and…I betrayed everyone. They all hate me now…so damn much, and it's my own fault. Before they didn't care, and I thought…I thought if they hate me couldn't be worse, but it is. It's worse, and I hate myself for it and-I'm sorry.' She confessed. She finally told him the truth.
Five brushed her knees with his palms, 'Shush, breath, alright?'
She shook her head and cried some more. She didn't have anything to say, she would have him read it and make up his own mind knowing he could hater her too. He didn't understand. He probably thought it wasn't so bad, but he was wrong. It was so profoundly worse.
'I love you, Vanya,' he said, and she covered her face unable to look at him.
'You will hate me,' she whispered between the sobs.
Five laughed a bit, 'Why would you think that? Vanya? Please, look at me.'
His hands pulled hers away from her face and forced her eyes to meet his even in the dark he was so stupidly handsome it was unbelievable he loved her as much as she loved him. He was too good for her.
'Tell me, why would I hate you. How could I when I love you so much, I can barely believe it at times?' he asked and sounded so soft, she almost believed him. No one was this soft with her. Not on purpose, not out of love.
'You will read it and….and hate me too,' she said and tried to stop crying. She didn't deserve the cry. She did this. She shouldn't cry and gain sympathy or pity. She didn't deserve it after all those things she wrote.
Five licked his lips, 'Give me a second.'
He jumped to her closet and drug through the bag. The black one he showed up in her apartment with on that first night.
Vanya tried to calm herself looking at him and wondering what was he planning to do when she saw him pull out something that looked like an old notebook. He had those. Not a long since he preferred walls and large boards to be able to properly view everything, but he sometimes had notebooks too.
However, when he kneeled down in front of her and put it into her palms, Vanya realized it wasn't a notebook at all. It was an old almost ruined copy of her book.
She stopped breathing for a second before she looked at Five again, 'I-I don't understand, Five.'
It was a soft copy. Not the hard one in her library. Did he see one on their walls and stole it without her noticing? She really didn't understand.
'It's your book. My guide during my time in my prison in the wasteland. I found it in a partly standing library. Everything was ruined, yet one copy of your book was almost completely intact. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was dreaming. I must have read…a lot,' he chuckled at her and looked down, 'It made me sane. It helped me knowing that at least for a time you were alive and probably alright. I devoured it.'
Even in the dark Vanya could see small notes between her own words, 'Some are notes, others are equations. I carried it everywhere. Dolores said it's because it's yours. She was right.'
'So you know?' asked Vanya softly and looked up at him.
Five nodded, 'I found your copy in the library. You hid things the same way as you used when you were young. I figured you didn't want to talk about it. I figured it could have something to do with why you haven't been around the others.'
She nodded, 'They hate me because-'
'You're not a traitor, and your book is not shitty. It's excellent. I read stuff. You know that. Your writing was fantastic and the things you wrote about happened. None of this is a lie. None of this belongs to any of us but you. These are your words, experiences gained by you, seen by your eyes. You didn't betray anything or anyone. You own this book, your thoughts, your words,' his hands took a hold of hers on the book, 'I like it, Vanya. It's a good book. It was a good read. And I'm saying that because I mean it, not because I'm hopelessly, utterly, irremediably, unfathomably in love with you.'
He liked her book.
He really and honestly liked and enjoyed her book. He understood it, and he didn't hate her for writing it. He applauded her.
It was the only thing that crossed her mind before she grabbed his face and kissed him for all she was worth.
Five chuckled into her lips and broke the kiss to whisper huskily, 'If I knew it would make you so happy, I would have mentioned it sooner.'
'I want to know more,' she whispered back to him between kisses, 'More of what you thought and…things you noticed and more-'
'We can make a fucking Q&A if you want,' he grabbed a hold of the book putting it on the nightstand before he properly stood up and pushed her into a demanding and needy kiss that rushed through her all the way to her toes and almost caused them to curl.
'But later,' he said like a promise and guided her down into the bed.
She let him as she pulled him closer. She wanted him as close as possible as she wanted to extend the feelings he lit inside her as long as possible. She felt light. He managed to achieve this a few times before, but at that very moment, she felt light and free letting his lips run over hers and then move lower through her neck and chest slowly opening her jacket and shirt underneath.
'I love you,' she whispered while stroking his hair and closing her eyes as he seemed determined to get familiar with every single inch of her body kissing her with open-mouthed kisses and touching her everywhere he could for what felt like hours.
He was enthusiastic and eager. Five seemed to want her like no one ever had. He kept on saying her name and asking her to look at him, so she could watch him as he slowly undid her apart. He didn't ask often what to do and mostly worked with how she reacted. He was always good at reading her.
He came first, which she didn't mind knowing it was his first time, but it pleasantly surprised her when he didn't stop. At least not until he properly made her come too, screaming his name into the night.
'You're real,' he said and kissed her when he collapsed beside her still touching and stroking her somewhere like the idea of not being in contact with her for even a moment was non-existing for him, 'Even when I dreamed of you, I could never imagine how you feel, how you taste, how my name sounds from your mouth when you come.'
'Five, I love you,' she whispered kissing him back and pressing his hand against her still wildly beating heart, 'I'm real.'
'Good, I love you too.'
They fell asleep instantly, and when she woke up and found him still dozed off, she took his copy of her book and read through his notes.
She cried a bit when Five woke up, but she assured him, it wasn't out of sadness at all.
'Do you think everyone will come?' asked Vanya as she and Five paused in front of their old childhood home. In the daylight after so many years, it looked less scary than she remembered it. Still, the idea to face their siblings and father truly didn't sit well with her.
If Five wasn't there, and if this wasn't something he wanted and she agreed with, she wouldn't be there. Not even by accident, but she promised him she would go with him and support him and do everything she could to help him save the world.
She just wished she would have taken an extra pill so she would be more immune to whatever insults they had planned, but Five promised her he wouldn't allow them to be assholes to her. Since she knew how much of a jerk he could be when he wanted to, she believed him.
'I told them it's important and that I'm back,' remained her Five, 'If nothing else, they will come to see if it's true.'
'Maybe we should have picked up a nice restaurant? Maybe a nice doughnuts house?'
'No, this is symbolic and perfect,' assured her Five and tossed a confident smirk that she knew better than to question. Even if his pride got a large blow when he got stuck in the wasteland, she still knew far too well than to not believe him.
'I trust you,' she admitted finally hoping to say the words out loud would add some courage to her. They did a bit. Especially when Five's smirk softened, 'Good. I won't let you down.'
Hearing those words settled it.
Vanya's hand reached out for Five's and the two walked into the front door of their childhood home awaiting for Luther to open up for them.
Together, Vanya knew they were ready for everything.
That was more than enough for her to put on a sincere smile once again.
'Let's go stop the apocalypse.'
Koniec
A.N: Thank you for reading and the support. Have a nice day and I hope you and all your loved ones are safe.
