Chapter Ten: Ginger Snaps

Honda thought it was best not to stay around the house much longer. He had shared breakfast with Ryou and collected his things.

"You can't stay just awhile longer?" Ryou had practically begged as he finished the last of the dishes. The sink looked the way Ryou had always liked it; sparkling clean.

He shook his head, "I promised Jou." He knew how important it was to Ryou that he stayed, but he knew it wasn't his place to do so. I don't belong here. He had decided while he was spreading jam on English muffins earlier that morning.

He had said good-bye and ruffled Ryou's hair. He had a feeling the other boy did not want to be held at the moment. He waved and walked into the winter wind. He looked back to see Ryou had already closed the door behind him, but Bakura was peering out from between the blinds on the second floor. Honda laughed a little, giving Bakura a mock salute. Your orders were followed, Captain.

It took a while to travel across town to Jou's apartment. Honda knew it, but for some reason, he felt like walking instead of taking a cab or the train. He didn't really have control of his actions anymore. They just sort of happened. It was as if his dream was trying to tell him to get the control back. I'm in charge of me. He kept telling himself. Yet, what I do…it takes charge of other people. It sounded like he was a little kid again, just realizing this simple logic. Though, it sounded so new, so unheard of. Honda didn't know why he had never thought of it before.

Shizuka greeted Honda at the door. She had her usual cheerful smile and her eyes lit up with a certain delight, "Hi Honda! Merry Christmas... again." She wore a Santa hat and a cream colored sweater with a snowflake. Honda was more than amused. He stepped inside the home and smiled back, "Merry Christmas to you too."

Jou came into the room with a pair of deer antlers on his head and a red clown nose, "Honda!" he said as he high fived his friend, "Glad you could get here, Man."

Honda couldn't hold his laughter in, "Haha! Jou, what are you wearing?"

"I'm Rudolph, Dude. You know the red-nosed reindeer?" Jou shook the little bell tied around his neck.

Honda decided to dismiss it, "Jou, you know I don't ask about what you and Kaiba do in your spare time." He put on a fake grin. The only reason he didn't ask was because it would break his heart. He advanced into the home, grabbing a cookie from the plate Shizuka had set out.

"They're ginger snaps." Shizuka said, "I made them this morning."

"They're awesome. Thanks, Shizuka." Honda took another, sitting down in his usual chair, "So, what's the plan, Man?"

Jou shrugged, "Chill out, drink cocoa, and watch Christmas movies." He turned on the television. The weather channel showed the forecast for the next few days. There was no sign of snow, "Aw man. No white Christmas? That sucks."

"Aw." Shizuka chimed in, "Snow's my favorite too. What about you Honda?"

"Eh, I don't mind so much." Honda said as he swallowed the last of his cookie. He grinned at Jou, "You know me and snow."

"One of these days, I'm gonna chuck you into a snow bank with your boxers over your head." Jou challenged.

"You did do that, Dude, remember? You and Otogi did it at Yugi's New Years Party." Honda grinned. It was a great prank. He would have done the same thing if he wasn't the victim.

Jou laughed so hard, the bell around his neck jingled, "Oh yeah! That's right! Then we locked you out and you stood out in the cold butt naked! Oh man we laughed for weeks!" his laughter subsided and a small sadness fell onto his face, "We used to laugh for weeks about a lot of things."

This grabbed Honda's attention. Had it really been so long since they had last been anywhere together? One missed Sunday brunch had become three and their visits to the arcade dated back to the beginning of fall...several months ago. He smiled sadly, "A lot's changed since you've been with Kaiba."

"Are you okay with that?" Jou blurted out. He suddenly shook his head, "What a stupid question. Of course you're not. I'm sorry, Man. I..."

"I'll break up with him." Jou said, smiling, "Just for you."

"For me?" Honda asked, completely shocked. Was his friend really considering his feelings?

Jou nodded, "That way we can spend more time together. Besides...I know you love him. I'll back away for you two."

"You knew?"

"Knew what?" Jou asked, "Honda, were you even listening?"

"Huh? Yea, of course." Honda shook his head to shake the daydream off, "It's cool. I don't mind that you got a boyfriend. If anything, I can see where you're coming from."

"You do? You mean to say you like Kaiba?" Jou said, beaming with pride. He never turned down a moment of praise.

Honda gulped. Did I say too much? He bit his lip, "W-Well I don't like him. I uh meant he and you are uh nice together?" Smooth Hiroto...

Jou raised an eyebrow, "'Nice', huh?" he laughed, "You big dope!" he teased, punching Honda in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Honda laughed, hitting Jou back, "What was that for?"

"Whatever, Dude." Jou shrugged, "Can't I miss punching my best friend?" he crossed his arms, "So, speaking of couples, why aren't you with my sister yet?"

"Shizuka?" Honda asked, looking over Jou's shoulder. The girl was rolling out cookie dough on the kitchen counter as they spoke. He blinked, "Me and her?"

"Well yea, Man. She totally digs you. I can't think of anyone better with her either!" Jou nudged Honda, "Why don't you go talk to her right now."

"What? Now?" it was too late. Jou gave a hearty shove and Honda went staggering into the kitchen. Shizuka gasped in surprise, "Oh Honda! You scared me! Did you need something?"

He regained his balance and scratched the back of his head, "Umm no. I- I'm good." D'oh! Oh no, Man! How the hell am I going to get out of this one?

"Its okay, Honda." Shizuka said with a sad smile. She wasn't looking at Honda as she continued to roll out the dough, "I'm sure you know what's best."

Honda raised an eyebrow. Had she heard? Did Otogi let it slip after all? He had his eyes open a little wide, "Umm...Shizuka?"

"I love you, Honda." Shizuka said, stopping in mid-roll. She let go out the rolling pin and turned towards her adoration, "Ever since the day you held my hand. Do you remember?"

"Umm yea. In Battle City. You couldn't see then." Honda recalled the incident very well.

Shizuka nodded, "Yet you cared about me. You made sure I was always okay. You always encouraged me to do my best to support my brother and you always made sure I was always safe. I've continued to love you ever since." she turned back to her dough and stamped it with a cookie cutter that looked like a star, "But, it's alright. I understand."

Honda couldn't believe what she was saying. Sure, he knew Shizuka was fond of him and he knew she was maybe even had a little crush, but love? Love couldn't have happened right under his nose. Though, with Ryou, didn't Ryou fall in love with him too? He shook his head, "Shizuka, there's a really important reason why I can't be with you."

"I know. I told you that I understand." she opened the oven and took out the tray of cookies and set them upon the stove. She looked back at Honda. There were no tears in her eyes, "I may have been without sight for a little while, but I still learned to read."

The boy gasped, seeing Shizuka move the cookies over to a cooling rack. The Christmas tag. The tag that labeled the gift; Seto's gift.

"...To: Seto..." Honda started, slightly horrified.

"With fondness: Honda." Shizuka finished. She piled the cookies that had been sitting for a while onto a plate and offered them to Honda, "I'm sure my brother has eaten all the ones out there." that sad smile reappeared on her face, "I'll see you later, Honda."

Honda didn't know what to say. He stood there with the plate of cookies for the longest time. He stared at the crumbed dessert with a blank expression. Finally, he looked back up at the girl and said, "I wish it wasn't like this, Shizuka. You know I'm sorry."

"Nobody ever wishes for these sorts of things to happen, Honda." Shizuka said as she put the dough cut outs into the oven and closed the door. She removed her apron and placed it on a peg, "They just do. It's the person's responsibility to see the best of things and get through them." she locked eyes with him, "...and you never have to go through them alone. Sometimes, it's nice to have someone there for you." she took hold of Honda's arm and said softly, "Sometimes, it's just what someone needs." she squeezed the boy's arm one time and disappeared down the hallway.

Honda didn't watch her go. He continued to stare down at the plate of cookies. The top one was of an angel that sported a sprinkle on the left side of its chest. A sprinkle in the shape of a tiny heart. He smiled and took the cookie, hiding it at the bottom of the plate. He didn't want Jou to eat it before Honda got to it.

He returned into the living room and saw Jou was sitting in front of the television. As predicted, the plate that once contained a neat pile of Shizuka's baking was empty. He sighed and joined Jou on the couch. The blonde was surprised to see the frown on Honda's face, "What happened?" he asked with concern.

Honda smiled as he picked up the angel cookie. He stared at it a little bit, laughing at how much the angel looked like Shizuka. He replied, "Ginger snaps."

x-x-x

There was a phone call at about nine that evening. Honda was halfway through a bowl of popcorn as he took the cordless off of its cradle. He pushed the button and said with cheer, "Jou and Shizukas' Holiday Hideout. Honda speaking."

"Oh. So you're the one who Jou made plans with." Honda's jaw dropped. He knew that voice, "K-Kaiba?"

"You know, the best way to make good habits is to practice them." Honda could see Seto smirking on the other end, "Let's try it now, Mister Honda."

Honda realized his mistake. He blushed and cleared his throat, "Right. Sorry, Mr. Kaiba."

"That's better." he said, sighing a little, "Is he around?"

"Jou?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes, saying quite seriously, "No, the ghost of Christmas yet to come."

'Yet to come?' Honda blushed deeper. Oh Dear God, why must I think like everyone other teenage boy? He shook his head. "Umm, h-hang on just a minute." he got up off the floor and walked a little rushed down the hallway. He knocked on the blonde's bedroom door and said, "Jou, Kaiba's on the phone."

The door almost swung off the hinges, "Thanks Honda! I'll only be a second!" he yanked the phone out of the other boy's grasp and slammed the door shut, "Hey Gorgeous." Honda heard on the other side of the door.

His heart sank like a stone. There was something about the phone that Honda didn't like. He didn't like the secrecy of not being able to hear what's going on just a couple feet away from him. He bit his lip. Was he really going to do what he thought he was going to do?

Why the hell not? Honda decided, going back into the kitchen. He picked up the second phone and pushed the button. Carefully, he put the phone to his ear and held his breath.

"It's not that I don't want to spend it with you." Jou whined. Apparently Honda had caught them in the middle of something, "I just haven't seen him in such a long time. I missed him."

"You missed him?" Kaiba asked, a little suspicious.

There was a pause, "...Are you jealous?" Jou was shocked. So was Honda. What in the world would Kaiba have to be jealous about? He was Seto-fucking-Kaiba. Anything the boy wanted, he could get at any moment he pleased. I mean, he could make light with the snap of his fingers for God's sake. 'God's sake'? The guy is God. Honda thought.

"I am most certainly not jealous." Kaiba snapped, "I'm just concerned is all." he said.

"About what?" Jou asked. There was the squeaking of a bed heard. He had just laid down on it.

Another pause, "I'm not sure. Something about him. That's all."

"He's my best friend and I'm going to spend time with him. I'm sorry if you don't like it." Jou did sound sincere.

"I'm not forbidding you from seeing him. Just...be alert?" he sighed, "So, how long do you have to talk to me?"

"Honda's watching the end of a movie. I'm sure he won't mind." Jou was smiling on his side of the phone.

Kaiba chuckled a little, "You must be so turned on. Who knows if he'll walk in on you."

Jou actually giggled, "What exactly would he be walking in on?"

"You bending over backwards while you beg for release."

"Mmm sounds great."

Honda's eyes went wide. They weren't about to do what he thought they were going to do, were they? He quickly hung up the phone, dropping it onto the kitchen table. He looked down the hallway, his body trembling slightly. Just a couple meters away, Jou was...was...

"Damnit!" Honda cried out, falling onto the kitchen floor. His knees couldn't support the overwhelming angst in his body, "Why is this happening to me? This is so unfair!"

A pair of thin arms wrapped around his shoulders. Someone had joined him on the floor. He placed his hand the arms wrapped around him. After awhile, he sighed and whispered, "...Do they do that a lot?"

The small voice replied, "Every night they spend apart."

Honda hung his head, "How can you sit here with me when I've hurt you?"

Shizuka continued to smile sadly, "I'm going to try to keep you safe." she replied. Her forehead pressed against the back of his head. She closed her eyes and inhaled his shampoo, "I'm going to make sure you stay strong for my brother." she squeezed him tight, "I'm going to make sure you do your best."

Honda felt tears sting his eyes. The only girl he had ever loved in any way shared his pain. On the kitchen floor, they stayed there in silence, holding each other's grief inside. He took one of Shizuka's hands and pressed it against his lips, "You're a saint, Shizuka."

The girl had tears already streaming down her cheeks. She nodded and said, "If only it would snow..."

x-x-x

Aww oh my gosh this was such a sad chapter. I've been planning Shizuka and Honda's conversation for a little while. It didn't turn out how I thought it would. Instead, it turned out even BETTER. I'm so excited for some reason. Anyways, Christmas is coming for us, but it's over for Honda and the gang. It's back to work for Honda. I wonder how the holidays changed Honda's work effort. I guess we'll find out next chapter, now won't we? Haha. See you later!