Chapter 17 – Bittersweet Moments
Honda had always been a simple person. It didn't take much to make him happy. He never desired extravagant things and his ideal life was to live in a small apartment with a job that he didn't mind getting up in the morning for.
One of Honda's favorite little things to do in his day was to wake up with Otogi still asleep. It happened almost every morning that week, but Honda silently reveled in it. It was warm and cozy under the blankets and throughout the night, Otogi ends up traveling his way closer to Honda. It was a guilty pleasure they both shared. When they both awoke in each other arms, neither of them went any further and neither said a word.
Saturday was Anzu's Valentine's Day party. Honda was dreading to attend, but he thought it was the right thing to do. Otogi didn't bring it up until Wednesday night.
"Who are you bringing?"
Honda shrugged, "Nobody. I was planning on going stag."
He scoffed, "Honda, you never go stag." he picked up the television remote and began to flip through channels, "Haven't a million girls come up to you yet?"
Honda's eyes shifted around the room, "I don't want to go with a girl."
Otogi's thumb stopped moving. He stared at the screen with disbelief for a few minutes. Slowly, his lips pulled into a grin, "You know what that means, don't you?"
"Yea." Honda laughed, running his fingers through his hair, "I'm ready."
They smiled at each other for a couple minutes, happily in silence. Eventually, they both bursted into laughter, Otogi wrapping his arms around Honda's neck, "haha! It's about time!"
x-x-x
Anzu opened her front door looking nervous but delightened all the same to greet her friends. She took their coats and showed them through the house into the living room. She had set out snacks and had music playing at a low volume.
Honda had appeared on Anzu's doorstep with Otogi in tow. Since nobody knew of Honda's living condition, it came as a shock to her, "Oh...hey guys!" she said, and then she was too worried about her own problems to go any further.
The party was enjoyable. There were games and everone had brought their dueling decks. Yugi, who was sitting on his yami's lap, giggled with glee as he beat Bakura for the third time in a row.
"Damnit Yugi! Pharoah's whispering cheats in your ear! Don't think I can't see it!" Bakura proclaimed, shaking an angry finger at Yugi's nose. Ryou, who was smiling politely, apologized for his yami's behavior.
Honda caught Ryou's eye then. The two of them had stopped talking since Honda's visit. It wasn't done on purpose; "shit happens" as Otogi had put it.
Without a word exchanged, Ryou stood and embraced his friend tightly. Honda gladly replied. They didn't care about making a spectacle of themselves. There was so much that needed to be said in that hug that Honda could have written a novel. When they broke away, Ryou smiled a smile that Honda had never seen before. It was just what Honda needed to come full circle.
Honda turned around to find that Jou had arrived with his sister holding his hand. Subconciously, Honda's eyes lingered in the doorway. He waited to see Seto walk through. He could already picture it; all black in clothing but a festive scarf would be around his neck (Jou always made him do things like that.)
However, after several minutes, there was nobody else coming into the room. Honda's brow knit together and he went over to Shizuka. He felt no shame in asking, "Where's Seto?"
She shrugged, "I don't know. Jou said he wasn't coming. That's why I'm here."
Honda's eyes went wide, "He's not?" It was a miracle; a party without watching Jou and Kaiba go at it. Honda was amazed.
Shizuka nodded, "I think he and Jou had a big fall out this morning. Jou seems fine now though."
"No he doesn't." Otogi was standing nearby, a soda in hand. He was intensely watching Jou's actions by habit, "He just disappeared into the bathroom."
Honda bit his lip. What was he going to do? Was he going to abandon his best friend while he was in need or was he going to selfishly run off and search for the one he loved? His heart ached in agony. This was too hard on him.
Shizuka and Otogi smiled, "Go Honda." Shizuka said, "I think Otogi and I can handle Brother."
"You sure?"
"Damnit Honda, you're dying to go. Anyone could tell." Otogi kissed Honda's cheek, "Hurry back before he notices."
It didn't take him anymore persuasion. Honda raced out the door, grabbing his jacket at the last minute. He tugged it on and ran as fast as his body would allow. He knew exactly where to check first. He was in luck that Anzu's house was close to the downtown area. Kaiba Corp was in sight by the time Honda sprinted around the third block. He smiled, relieved that he was almost there. He nearly avoided a car as he crossed the street. He entered the company building and completely ignored the ridiculously unprofessional blonde that still sat behind the counter. He hastily pushed the up button on the elevator. He wiped away the sweat that gathered on his forehead and, as soon as the door opened, he stepped inside, shutting the doors and making the trip up to the top.
Hotaru was at the desk when he arrived, but he didn't care. He ran right by her and yanked open the door to Kaiba's office. He was on cloud nine just getting there and when he saw Kaiba standing in front of his giant window-wall, his heart soared higher, "Seto!"
Kaiba looked over his shoulder. Was Honda imagining the corner of his lips turned up? The taller of the two turned his entire body around and held out his arms at the elbow; a sight Honda never thought he'd see. "Come here."
Honda was all too ready to do so. He lept into Kaiba's arms and held him tight. Words failed him. It was all too good to be true.
Kaiba held him, if possible, tighter, "Hiroto." he whispered softly, "I want you to know something."
Honda held his eyes shut, inhaling the smell that was Seto Kaiba; expensive cologne mixed with vanilla and cinnamon. He looked up at Kaiba and waited; anxious to hear what he had to say.
"I can't be with you."
It stabbed Honda right in the heart. He pulled away, disbelief showing through in his eyes. He took a few steps back, hitting the edge of Kaiba's desk. He shook his head, "No. Damnit, don't do that." he felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes, "DON'T FUCK WITH ME ANYMORE!" his body shook from holding in his sobs. He watched Kaiba through blurred vision. The setting sun caused Kaiba's body to have a heavenly glow. Honda's body melted with desire, but his heart turned cold. He knew he couldn't have it even if he wanted it.
Kaiba's face became blank. He approached Honda, his arms out to wrap around Honda's small waist. He held the boy close, "Cry, Hiroto."
"I won't give you the fucking satisfaction." Honda said through gritted teeth. He tried to push away again, but Kaiba held him too close.
The taller boy sighed, "I have to be with Jou."
"Why?" Honda said harshly, "What's so freakin special about him?"
"He...he's not like everybody else." Kaiba sat down in his office chair, looking up at Honda was tired eyes, "He's emotionally attached to me in a way that I can't pry him off." he sighed, "He's not in love; he's obsessed."
This news startled Honda. Obsessive was not something that came to mind when he thought of his best friend. However, as he continued to think about it, it made sense. All Jou ever talked about was Kaiba; before and after they started being together. Jou was always clinging to him and dressed him up and got angry when Kaiba worked. Honda was speechless.
"If I was to break his heart, and be with you, it would kill him. You know him better, Hiroto." Kaiba said, "You know he'd do just about anything."
"This is unreal." Honda shook his head, "Jou can't be that stuck on you. He can get through it; even if he is with someone like you. There's other people."
"I don't think it has to do with me. I have a feeling he's been like this for a very long time." Kaiba pulled Honda into his lap, making the boy straddle him in the chair, "He's broken and I don't know how to fix him. All I know is that what I want to do will just ruin him more." he sighed, "Damn you Honda." he ran his fingers through the other boy's hair, "Everything was fine until you opened your big mouth."
Honda scowled, "You think having Jou at your side every second of the day is 'fine'?"
"It's really none of your business. You were the one that wanted to know." Kaiba slid the back of his hand down Honda's cheek and held his chin, "What do you want from me?" his face turned a little angry, "What is there I can do? You and I can never be."
"Then why am I in your lap?" Honda asked, without anything better to say, "Shouldn't Jou be here?"
"Jou doesn't belong there."
"I do?"
"Why do you love me?"
Honda stopped short. Of all the questions to ask at that moment. He swallowed and replied, "Why don't you love me?"
"I don't feel love." Kaiba responded quickly, resting his face on one of his fists, "It's just something I stopped doing. Love is powerful, Hiroto, but it is just a feeling. If you have the power to overcome it, you can easily shut that feeling out."
"How can someone sound so smart, but be so stupid?" Honda laughed short, "You can't not love. That's inhuman."
"Then I'm not."
Honda smiled a little, sighing deeply. There was no winning. He leaned down and claimed Kaiba's lips; noting how Kaiba did not kiss him back. He pulled away but let his lips linger on Kaiba's faintly, "I'll never grow tired of stealing kisses from you."
Kaiba's face was cold, "Everytime you kiss me, you're killing Jou."
Honda's expression mirrored Kaiba's, "Then call me a murderer."
"I didn't think trash could kill." he smirked.
Honda kissed Kaiba once more, "Then I guess I'm not trash."
"No, you're definately something else." Honda was pleased to see the amusement in the other boy's eyes. With slow hands, he pulled at Kaiba's jacket, sliding it off his broad shoulders.
Kaiba lifted his head from his fist. His eyebrow arched up, "You sure you should be doing that?"
Honda locked eyes with Kaiba, responding in an innocent tone, "No." he closed his eyes and covered Kaiba's lips with his own. This time he felt the heat from Kaiba warm his lips. Honda moaned as a strong hand traveled under his shirt and over his abdomen. He dug his fingers into Kaiba's silky hair and held on for the ride. This was probably the last time he'd be able to do this and he was going to milk it for everything it was worth.
x-x-x
As Honda traveled back to Anzu's house, he felt numb. He insisted on walking back, although Kaiba offered him a ride. He dug his hands deep into his pockets and watched the ground as he walked. Regret was the farthest thing in Honda's heart. He did not feel anything. Though, what Kaiba had said about Jou still buzzed in his ears. Was Jou really that deeply infatuated with Kaiba? Was there no way out?
"He's broken and I don't know how to fix him." Honda knew that sounded familiar. He perked up, seeing Anzu's house in the distance. He knew that inside, there was a person with all the answers. He wasn't thinking of Jou or Otogi anymore. His mind was set on finding a certain spirit that knew how to fix broken dolls.
x-x-x
Chapter 17's a wrap! Wowzers it's been a long time since I updated. I'm sorry again! This is getting quite interesting, isn't it? I apologize for the OOCness of Jou, but in a way, I think this will turn out right. As for Honda and Seto, things really heated up, don't you think? How far do you think they actually went? Don't worry, I won't keep it a secret for much longer. See you in Chapter 18!
-Rain
