It turned out that Rachel was only half heartedly ready to say goodbye to Nick the bartender once the boat ride was over, which ended up leading to the group of us continuing on to Salem Willows Park. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go at first, but eventually caved when I thought about the alternative-going back to the hotel and finally being alone with the jumble of thoughts in my mind. Nothing was making sense and I felt as if I needed a distraction from my current reality more than ever.
When we got to the park, Nick challenged Rachel to a game of pinball at the park's arcade, and his mouth almost dropped open in shock when she told him she'd never played. And then that led to him almost dragging her to the arcade to teach her while the twins and I trailed behind.
I snorted to myself as Nick gave Rachel a quick run down of the game and Rachel made a few attempts before saying something to him. He moved to stand behind her, putting his hands over hers on the buttons to instruct her better.
"Merlin, she knows just what she's doing," I said, shaking my head.
"You know," Fred said, "if you want me to stand behind you at one of these machine things, all you have to do is ask."
"Do you know how to play pinball?" I asked.
"No," Fred admitted.
"Then maybe I would have to be the one to stand behind you," I said with a smile.
"I'm okay with that," Fred answered, nudging me gently as I rolled my eyes and looked away.
I began making my way towards the nearby carousel, which was filled with a menagerie of different animals besides the typical horse. "How about a ride on the carousel instead?" I asked Fred.
Fred shook his head at me, but he was smiling. "Of course you'd pick something that doesn't involve any physical contact."
"Pinball shouldn't either if you know how to play," I retaliated.
Fred gaped at me as I laughed. "What do you expect? I didn't grow up around this stuff!"
I smiled, but didn't answer. Once on the carousel, I hopped on and weaved through the rows of colorful animals to pick from, looking at each one carefully.
"What are you looking for?" Fred asked, following me and trailing his fingers along each animal that we passed. "Does it really matter which one you pick?"
"Normally I'd say no," I said, "but..."
"But what?" Fred asked, coming to a stop slightly behind me as I halted beside the horse I was looking for.
A slight smile formed over my face as I reached out and ran my hand along the horse's shiny, cold nose. The horse was white with a mane of purple, blue and pink. The tail was made up of the same colors and there were translucent spots of those colors in certain areas of the horse's white body. It almost looked like what I'd pictured a unicorn to look like as a kid-but without the horn.
"This was the only one I'd ride as a kid," I whispered. "My mom would ride that one." I gestured to the brown horse on my other side. "She'd always ask me if I wanted to switch things up, but I refused. I thought this horse was by far the prettiest. I even gave her a name."
"Yeah, what was it?" Fred asked from behind me, his voice a whisper.
"Sparkles," I said with a smile.
Fred laughed. "Of course."
"I was a little kid!" I exclaimed, turning to look at him.
Fred smiled. "Well, why don't you climb up on Sparkles," he said, "and if it's okay with you, I'll ride this one." He gestured to the brown horse.
"Why wouldn't it be okay?" I asked. "Because of the fact my mother used to always ride that one?"
Fred shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."
I shook my head. "It doesn't matter to me."
"Did your mum give the horse a name?" Fred asked, turning to the brown horse and climbing on, swinging one of his long legs over the horse's back and adjusting himself in the saddle as he grabbed ahold of the carousel pole the horse was attached to.
"No," I said, climbing onto Sparkles and making myself comfortable. "She didn't. At least, she never told me she did."
"Well, then I think I will," Fred said decisively. He looked the horse over. "What do you think of...Brownie?"
"Brownie?" I asked with a laugh. "Very original. And weren't you the one who just laughed at the name Sparkles?"
Fred shrugged. "Very true," he laughed.
I smiled as the carousel suddenly began moving, slowly making its way around and around as the horses Fred and I were on began moving up and down, just as slowly and steadily. I rested my head against the pole in front of me as I gazed at the world outside of the carousel whirring by.
"You okay?" Fred asked from beside me.
I turned to look at him, still resting my head against the pole as the breeze blew a few tendrils of hair around my face. "Yeah," I said quietly, giving him a small smile.
He reached out a hand, fingers stretching towards me in the space between our horses. I shifted my gaze towards his hand as I took it, squeezing it gently before lifting my eyes back towards his face. His eyes met mine and we stayed like that for a moment before Fred grinned at me. "You know, I think Brownie could beat Sparkles in a race."
I giggled. "I don't know. Neither of them seem particularly fast. And we've been neck and neck the whole time."
Fred grinned wider and dropped my hand as he leaned low over Brownie's neck, egging him on and even digging his heels into the horse's side. "Faster, faster!" he said.
I laughed as I watched him. "I don't think it's working. It's almost as if he can't hear you."
"Aw, come on, where's your imagination?" Fred asked, sitting up straight again as the carousel began to slow. The ride was over and I found myself feeling pretty disappointed. When the carousel came to a complete stop, Fred jumped off of his horse, while I almost took my time getting off mine. I gave Sparkles one last look and gently put a hand on her nose before turning back to Fred and giving him a smile. "Let's go catch up with the others," I said.
We found Rachel, Nick and George standing outside the bumper cars, watching excitedly.
"We've been waiting for you two!" Rachel exclaimed when she saw me and Fred approaching. "Want to try the bumper cars?"
"Are you asking if I want to participate in an activity where I'm encouraged to drive into people for fun?" Fred asked. "Let's do it."
He grabbed my hand and all but dragged me towards the entrance, the others behind us. I didn't even bother to protest. I knew it would be useless.
Once our turn in the cars started, I found myself laughing almost hysterically as I tried to avoid being hit by anyone but also trying to hit them back. At one point, Fred and George somehow managed to bang their cars into either side of mine, ping ponging me between them for a second as I shrieked with laughter.
"Are you kidding me?" I said, turning the wheel of my car sharply and going after Fred, who zoomed away, laughing as he looked over his shoulder at me.
"Can't catch me!" he taunted, just before Rachel came out of nowhere and slammed into the side of his car, bashing him into the barrier of the bumper car ring.
"Oops," Rachel said nonchalantly, smiling slightly as I hit Fred from behind with my own car, cackling with mirth.
The ride was over almost too soon and I found myself wishing it wasn't, just like the ride on the carousel. Being here had actually been the most fun I'd had in a while and I'd even forgot about everything going on for a little bit. I'd forgotten about the Mystery Woman and about Eric and the fact that he quite possibly wanted me dead. For now, I felt normal. I felt like a regular girl having fun with her friends.
The group of us made our way across the rest of the park, away from the arcade and past numerous willow trees towards one of the small beaches located in the park. Rachel and Nick stood at the water's edge, talking quietly. I heard Rachel's laugh drift across the air towards me as I stopped and stood where I was, digging my toes into the sand as I gazed across the water and taking in the inky black sky above us, filled with stars. Fred continued on ahead, either not realizing I had stopped, or just content with giving me some time alone with my thoughts.
I reached into my bag and pulled out the camera Fred had given me. I'd brought it with me and had been carrying it around all day in case inspiration were to strike. And now it had. I snapped a picture of the water, lit up by the nearly full moon in the sky. I turned around and snapped one of the willow trees behind me. And I snapped one of Rachel and Nick, talking by the water's edge.
"You seem happy," George commented, coming up beside me.
"I am happy," I said. "For right now, at least." I glanced almost subconsciously over at Fred, who had come to a stop at the water's edge, not far from Rachel and Nick, but far enough away to be by himself. He picked up a few pebbles from the sand at his feet and began skipping them across the water. I looked away and blushed as I fiddled with my camera, hoping George hadn't noticed that I'd looked over at Fred. If he did, he didn't say anything.
"You sound surprised about it," George said, looking at me with a raised eyebrow and a tiny smile.
"I am," I said again, this time with a slight laugh.
"You shouldn't be," he said.
"This is the most fun I've had in a very long time," I said.
"Mhm," George said, looking down at me knowingly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "And how much of that fun has to do with my brother?"
"What?" I asked, looking up at him.
"I'm not an idiot," George said. "I know how close you two have gotten since you met but I also knew you still had some walls up, trying all you could to keep some type of protection around you. And then on the boat, something changed. By the time we got off, something was different."
I looked away from him, pursing my lips as I looked back over the water. "Different how?"
"Well for one, I saw you holding hands as you came back to the upper deck of the boat. Even if you let go of each other as soon as you saw me coming. I'm not blind, you know."
I swallowed and started chewing on my lip.
"He kissed you, didn't he?" George asked.
I simply nodded in return.
"Well, finally," George said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, finally turning towards him.
"Well, let's just say-again-that I'm not blind, nor am I an idiot," George laughed. "And I know my brother. Almost better than he knows himself. And he's the same with me." He smiled and looked me up and down. "Why do you suddenly seem so upset? I thought Fred was a big part of the reason for your good mood."
I didn't answer him right away, but finally I met his eyes, the exact same as Fred's except they were a slightly lighter shade of blue. "None of us know how this is going to end," I said. "It could end well or it could end very, very badly. And if by some miracle, it ends well...then I still don't know where to go from there."
"What do you mean?" George asked. "You come back to England. You go back to work. You move back in with Tom and Martha-or move in with me and Fred for that matter. You can be normal. You can live the life you were trying to live, but without having to keep looking over your shoulder."
"I'm not sure it's that easy," I said. "I'm also not sure that I know how to be normal."
"You're doing a pretty good job of it," George pointed out. "Or at least trying. Come on, besides all this stuff that you're currently working out, you managed to make friends, get a job, go out and live life-do things, you know?"
I sighed. "I guess I'm just afraid for this to keep going the way it has been but I'm also afraid for it all to be over-almost like I don't think I'll know what to do with myself. Almost like...what now? Or that once it is all over, we'll lose the things that have brought us together. The diary, the Mystery Lady, Eric...once it's all done and figured out, where does that leave us? Where does that leave me and Fred?"
"Sophie," George said quietly, "we're not your friends because of those things. We're helping you because we're your friends. I think the relationship we all have with you is stronger than that. It may have started because of that diary but that's not what kept it going. Fred didn't kiss you because of that diary. He kissed you because you're you. And he likes you. And he's not going to stop liking you once this is over. Trust me. And the same goes for the rest of us. You're not getting rid of us that easily."
"What about Angelina?" I asked.
"What about her? She's very happy with Oliver."
"I know that, but Fred is not all that happy she's with Oliver."
"Don't you think that if he kissed you, he's finally over all of that?"
I shrugged. "I'd like to think so, but how can I be sure?"
"You could always ask him," George said. "It's not that hard. But there's the fact that he told me he liked you."
"He--he what?" I spluttered, looking at George in surprise.
"Don't look so shocked about it. He tells me everything.
"But he--he actually said he--"
"He did and he meant it," George said firmly. He laughed quietly. "I do know him quite well, you know. And while he is a lot of things and while I do know everything that happened with Angelina really messed with him and left him angry and confused for a while, he would never intentionally lead you on."
"What about unintentionally?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.
George laughed. "I just meant that he can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. And as you know, we don't have a filter in our brains. Sometimes we say or do things without realizing how they may be perceived or what the consequences might be."
"Like kissing me?" I asked.
"Yes and no," George said slowly. "Sure, Fred probably kissed you on impulse--he's probably wanted to do it for a while, but at some point tonight, the timing felt right and he just went for it without thinking into too much about what would happen afterwards. But if he did it at all, it means he wanted to do it."
I thought that over before I found myself actually smiling at him. "Thanks, George."
He tilted his head towards Fred. "Go on," he said.
I looked at him for a moment longer before heading over to Fred, who smiled when I approached him and handed me a pebble. "Want to try skipping one?" he asked.
"I don't know how," I admitted, turning the pebble over and over in my hand.
Fred gave me a lopsided smirk. "Is this going to be our pinball machine moment?"
I laughed. "I don't know, you tell me."
Fred turned towards me. "Well...do you mind?" he asked. "I know how you feel about the scars on your back and I don't want to, well, you know...get too close if you don't want me to." He rubbed the back of his neck.
I took in a slow deep breath as I considered that. He was right, but I appreciated the fact that he'd asked. It made it easier for me to say, "Go ahead. I'll be fine."
Fred nodded and slowly came to stand behind me, pressing his chest to my back and taking my right hand in his. I took in another breath and found myself holding it. I reminded myself to just breathe. It wouldn't do any good if I fainted from lack of oxygen right now.
"Okay, so first of all, you have to relax," Fred instructed with a slight laugh.
I let out the breath I was holding and took his advice, relaxing my body the best I could.
Fred guided my hand back and then forward, letting me know when to release the rock. I did as he said and it skipped twice before sinking to the bottom.
"Not bad for your first attempt," Fred said, moving away from behind me and letting me go. I almost wished he hadn't, but I tried to erase that thought from my head, telling myself over and over that I couldn't be doing this right now. But I wanted to.
"Shouldn't it have been a bit better since you were helping me?" I asked, unable to stop the slow smile spreading across my face.
Fred's mouth dropped open in mock surprise before he started laughing. "Wow, you sure know how to bruise someone's ego."
"All in a day's work," I said, picking up another pebble and trying to skip it on my own. It skipped once before crashing back into the water and sinking. I stared at the spot where it had disappeared for a moment before glancing at Fred out of the corner of my eye. He was already staring at me, a slight smile on his face. "What are you staring at?" I asked quietly, feeling my cheeks heat up as I looked away again, feeling suddenly uncomfortable under his gaze.
"Nothing," Fred said quietly. "I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"About how a year ago, or even two, I never thought I'd be where I am now. Physically, mentally...all of it."
I snorted. "I've made your life harder, isn't that what you're saying? You never had to worry about your family being threatened by Eric, or--"
"Sophie, stop," he demanded, his voice firm. I looked over at him to see him glaring at me with his jaw set. "You are being threatened by Eric. And I hate it. It's not just my family I'm worried about, here."
"Well, that just further proves my point," I muttered.
"I was in a terrible place when you first showed up in London," Fred said. "It only got better from there."
"How can you say that?" I whispered. "Noah's dead and so is his mother. Eric is after me and he's already attacked me once. I've been watched and followed for months!"
"I meant that I've stopped drinking so much. I haven't gotten wasted since July. I haven't jumped in the pond since May. I've been getting better. And I want the same to happen for you. I want you to be as happy as you were tonight every day of the week."
I took in a slow, deep breath and turned to face him, a frown tugging down the corners of my lips. "If all of this works out for the best in the end and we don't have any mystery left to solve or bad guy to defeat, will you...erm-do you think we'll still be-" I broke off and sighed. This wasn't coming out great.
"Do you still think I'm using you?" Fred asked quietly and I could hear the slight note of pain in his voice.
"No," I said, looking up at him.
"It sounds like it," he said.
"I guess now I'm just wondering if this being over gives you a reason to not want to talk to me anymore."
"That would still imply that I'm using you just for this little..." he waved his hand around, "adventure, excursion, mystery, whatever you'd like to call it. I'm not. I'm here for you and when it's over, I'll still be here." He reached out and took my chin between his fingers as his eyes wandered my face. "I'm not leaving you."
I looked up at him, studying his face. His expression was earnest and I believed every word coming out of his mouth-I always had, if I was honest. But that didn't mean that a part of me wasn't still scared. Scared of circumstances beyond our control. Scared of all of this being too good to be true. Scared of the fact that I trusted him so much. What if I was wrong?
I was jolted out of my thoughts by Fred reaching down and lightly splashing me with water. Extremely cold water.
"That's freezing!" I squealed, darting away from him and laughing.
"Come on, you're not afraid of a little cold water, are you?" he taunted, splashing me some more.
"Fred!" I cried, darting away. "Come on, if you get my camera wet..."
Fred started chasing after me, kicking up sand as he did. I turned and snapped a quick photo over my shoulder, capturing him mid-laugh with his arms outstretched towards me. A second later, he'd caught up to me, his hands slipping around my waist and pulling me to him. He gently took the camera from my hand and held it out, facing us. "Smile," he said. I did and he pressed the button on top, causing the flash to go off and the moment to be captured forever.
Late that night, after we'd returned to the hotel and gone to bed, I lay there, tossing and turning for quite some time, unable to get all that had happened that night out of my head.
I knew I was letting my guard down, little by little, but I also knew it wasn't time yet. I couldn't afford to be careless or caught off guard, especially if Eric was in Salem and looking for me. I wondered if he knew where I was, if he knew I was staying at the hotel. Part of me thought he must know. But then why hadn't he made a move yet? He probably wanted to catch me alone, when I'd be the easiest to catch and the most vulnerable. He'd probably want to bring me somewhere the others wouldn't see him bringing me.
I rolled over in my bed and sighed, my mind drifting to Fred. I thought about kissing him on the boat, holding his hand in the carousel, and having his arms around me when he taught me how to skip rocks and after that when I hugged him. It had all felt so good. I felt safe, even though I knew I still wasn't. Not yet.
And then my mind wandered over to one place I'd been debating over visiting or not now that we were here. I one hundred percent did not want to return to Eric and Andrea's house-that one was easy. But the Ropes Mansion Museum, on the other hand-the place where my mom had left me behind-was one I kept going back and forth on, surprisingly. Part of me wanted to go back there, oddly enough, and see it again all these years later. That part of me thought maybe being there in person now would somehow help me come to terms with what had happened. But another part of me worried about how stupid that sounded. How could going back to the scene of the crime, so to speak, make things better?
Finally, I tossed back my covers, changed out of my pajamas into a pair of jeans and a zippered sweatshirt and tiptoed over to the door of the hotel room. I peered back at Rachel, who was still sleeping soundly, as I slowly opened the door, slipping into the hallway and closing it behind me.
I walked over to the twins' room and knocked on the door. I waited for a long moment before the door finally opened a crack and Fred looked out at me, rubbing his eyes. "Sophie? What are you doing here? Are you okay?"
I nodded. "I just wanted to know if you'd go somewhere with me."
Fred looked at me in confusion. "It's the middle of the night."
"I know," I said. "I couldn't sleep." I hesitated a moment. "But you clearly were having no trouble on that front-it was very rude of me to wake you and make you join me in my misery." I smiled slightly.
"It's okay," Fred muttered, leaning against the door frame and looking at me. "Why didn't you just knock on the shared door in between our rooms?"
"Didn't want to wake Rachel," I said. "It was already bad enough worrying about waking George."
"Ah, yes, kind of you to spare his feelings. He'd definitely take offense to you only including me on your late night wandering."
I snorted. "So will you come with me?"
Fred nodded. "Yeah. Hang on, let me grab a sweater."
He darted inside his room and returned a moment later, pulling a blue sweater over his head. The sweater had a large green F on the front and I smiled fondly, remembering the day Mrs. Weasley had started teaching me how to knit.
"One of your mother's famous sweaters," I said softly.
"Mm," Fred nodded, looking down at it before grinning up at me. "Maybe one day you'll be making some of your own."
"Oh, I don't know about that," I said. "Besides, you made fun of my scarf, didn't you? Said it was hideous."
"It was only your first one," Fred said with a chuckle. He paused for a moment. "So, where are we going?"
"Just come on," I said, leading the way down the hallway.
We walked out of the hotel and took a right, heading down Essex Street again. I hesitantly slipped my hand into Fred's, glancing at him as I did so. I saw him look down at our interlocking fingers before smiling slightly and giving my hand a squeeze.
We passed the pathway that had led to the memorial and the cemetery and kept going, walking for another few minutes until I came to a stop in front of a two story white house.
"Here we are," I announced, my voice a whisper.
"What is this place?" Fred asked. He was whispering as well.
"Ropes Mansion," I said. "The museum where my mother used to work. The place where she left me."
Fred looked at me in confusion. "You wanted to come here? Now?"
I nodded and shrugged. "I wasn't sure, but I thought maybe coming here would make it better somehow. Facing it, I guess? In the best way I can?" I took in a deep breath. "They say this house is haunted with the ghosts of the family that used to live here, but I've got some ghosts of my own in there as well."
"And you're sure you want to go in?" Fred asked.
"Well, I'm not sure if we can go in," I said. "I'm pretty sure there's an alarm system. My mother knew the code and had a key, obviously, since she works here, so she just turned the alarm off when she let us in."
"Well, since we came all the way here," Fred said with a smile as he dropped my hand and ambled up the front walkway towards the door.
"What?" I asked, following him, my mouth hanging open in shock. "What are you doing?"
Fred rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand. "Have you forgotten we have these?"
"No, I just-"
"You were making excuses," Fred said. "Stalling for time."
"Okay, so what if I was?" I asked as Fred hopped up the front steps. "Can you blame me?"
"No," he said lightly, twirling his wand in his hand before aiming it at the door. "Alohomora," he muttered. The door clicked open and the alarm inside started going off. "Where is it?" Fred asked, wincing. "The alarm."
"Here," I said, pointing the alarm on the wall beside the door. Fred waved his wand again and silenced it as I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, taking in my surroundings.
The house looked exactly the same. Obviously. It was a museum decorated with furniture from the time period. A staircase in front of me led up to the second floor, a wooden grandfather clock sitting on the landing. I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes.
"You alright?" Fred asked, coming to stand beside me.
"Fine," I said, opening my eyes and pushing away from the door. I led the way through the house as Fred trailed behind me. I walked through the dining room and the living room, the floor creaking beneath my feet as I moved, heading for the back door without even thinking about it. When I got there, I stopped and stared at the corner just to the left of the door. I stood there staring at the spot, unmoving. I wasn't even breathing. I could sense Fred standing behind me, but he also kept still, waiting for me to say or do something.
Finally, without thinking, I stepped forward, moving to that one corner, just as dark as it had been that night all those years ago. I leaned agains the wall and slid down to the ground, pulling my knees to my chest and craning to look at the door.
"She stood right there," I said, pointing at the door. "After she sat me down here, of course." I gestured aimlessly to the corner I was in. "She covered me with a blanket, kissed my forehead and said she'd come right back for me. And then she stood at that door, told me she loved me to the moon and back, gave me this little tiny smile...and left." Tears welled up in my eyes as my voice cracked. "And I never saw her again." I swiped at my eyes. "I sat here all night, clutching my teddy bear. As the night wore on, I got scared and started to cry. I cried until I somehow fell asleep. And I woke up to one of my mother's coworkers shaking me awake. She asked me so many questions. She tried to contact my mother. No one could find her." I took in a shaky breath and continued to stare at the door, barely even seeing it. "By the next day, I was in the foster system and essentially an orphan, no matter how much I refused to believe it. I was completely alone."
Fred was still for a moment longer as he processed what I'd said. And then he slowly came to sit beside me. "You're not alone now," he said. "I know it doesn't make up for that night. It doesn't change a thing. But as of right now, you're not alone at all."
I turned to him, tears brimming in my eyes again. "She told me she loved me," I said. "She promised to come back. She promised!"
"I know," Fred whispered, lifting his arm and putting it around my shoulders as he pulled me to him. I leaned into him and buried my face in his neck as I cried. Sobbed, actually. Loudly and embarrassingly. But I couldn't help myself.
Once the tears started to subside, I took in another shaky breath and closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. "For five years of my life," I said, "she told me she loved me. She acted like she loved me. She treated me wonderfully and promised me the world. We were happy. And then she left and ever since I've wondered if any of it was ever true or if she was just a great actress." I swallowed. "So...meeting you and George, making friends with Rachel and the other girls, having Tom and Martha take me in and want to keep me, having your parents take me in like they did-it all seems too good to be true sometimes. And there's a part of me that's always on edge, wondering when it's going to end. Thinking it has to end. That none of you could possibly want me."
"Sophie," Fred breathed, but I interrupted him.
"Most of my foster families made it clear at one point or another that they didn't want me anymore, but my mother never made it clear. Until one day, she did."
"I don't think she did," Fred said. "Make it clear, I mean. The story of how she was when she left you doesn't add up. She wouldn't say she loved you, she wouldn't be so gentle with you or promise to come back if she didn't plan to."
"How do you know?" I asked bitterly. "People lie all the time. People make all kinds of empty promises. And besides, I was just a kid. How do I even know I wasn't missing something just because I was too young to understand?"
"You don't," Fred said after a pause. "But listen to me-you are very loved and wanted by everyone who knows you back in London. None of us are leaving you. I am not leaving you."
"How can you say that?" I asked. "You're still pining over Angelina, aren't you? You're still in love with her. And then you come here and kiss me and I-I liked it, Fred. A lot. But if I might not make it out of this alive and you're still in love with Angelina...we're both going to get hurt. And neither of us can afford that right now."
"Woah, woah, woah...hang on," Fred said, reaching out and tilting my face up so that I was looking at him. "I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you. It had nothing to do with Angelina. I'm not rebounding or still trying to get over her. I am over her."
"But--that day at the Burrow," I said. "I told you earlier that I overheard you two talking out near the pond."
"You didn't stay to hear everything," Fred argued. "I told her how what happened between she and I had affected me. I actually addressed it. All of it. And she did too. We did it together. And then she smiled and matter-of-factly said, "So now that we've put that behind us, when are you going to tell Sophie how you feel?"
"What?" I whispered, looking at Fred in surprise.
"She knew," Fred shrugged. "The only person I'd told by that point was George, but she knew. She encouraged me to say something, even if you may not have been ready to hear it. And I tried to tell you when we first got here, but you wouldn't listen."
My mouth dropped open in surprise. Angelina had known that Fred liked me. She had guessed it all on her own before I even knew myself. Then again, I wasn't really an expert on guessing peoples' feelings for me. And I had completely jumped to the wrong kinds of conclusions after hearing Fred and Angelina at the pond. I'd heard what I'd thought had been enough and left before my heart got broken, but if I'd stayed, it would have turned out for the better.
"I-I like you too, Fred. A lot," I whispered. "And I'm terrified. I'm so afraid of this vanishing in a puff of smoke."
"Soph, you need to trust me, okay?" Fred whispered. "Trust me when I say I'm not using you and that I'm not going to leave."
"I do trust you," I said. "And that scares me the most because it'll hurt more if I'm wrong or if something happens out of my control..."
"Uncontrollable things happen all the time, remember?" Fred asked. "And they're exactly that: out of your control."
I nodded. "Doesn't make them hurt any less," I muttered.
"I know," Fred whispered. "Believe me, I know."
I looked up and met his eyes and I could feel myself falling for him harder than ever. I knew he understood and that was part of what made me feel so attached to him. He may not have known what it was like to feel unloved, unwanted and used, but he did know what it felt like to carry guilt with him over something that he couldn't have stopped. He knew what it was like to sit there and wonder why. Why him, why me, just why.
Finally, I pulled away from him and stood up, reaching out a hand to help him to his feet as well. "Come on," I said quietly.
"Where are we going now?" he asked, following me to the living room we'd passed through earlier.
I tilted my head towards the antique sofa and he sat down, his eyes never leaving me as I knelt down in front of the fireplace and used my wand to light a fire so that we'd have some light in the room. And then I stood and turned back towards Fred. I crossed over to the coffee table and stood beside it, facing Fred as he looked back up at me in confusion.
"What's on your mind?" he asked. "I can practically see the wheels in your head turning. Mulling something over in that head of yours."
I took in another deep breath. "I...want to show you something," I said. My voice was so quiet I was surprised he even heard me.
"Okay," he said slowly.
My heart hammered in my chest as my stomach clenched nervously. I could feel my hands starting to tremble with nerves. I knew I didn't have to do this-hell, normally I wouldn't want to do this. I'd fought against it for so long for a number of reasons, mostly embarrassment. Which is why now, a larger part of me did want to do this. Almost needed to, really.
I turned around again and faced the fireplace. If I looked into the mirror above the mantle, I could see Fred's reflection, perched on the couch. He was still staring at me quizzically.
Ever so slowly, I reached up and let my trembling hands find the zipper of my sweatshirt as I started to tug it downwards.
"What the hell are you doing?" Fred blurted out as I stopped. "I mean-normally if a girl starts taking her clothes off in front of me, I wouldn't object, but considering it's you, I'm wondering if you've suddenly lost your mind." He met my eyes in the mirror above the fireplace and grimaced. "Merlin," he groaned. "I just stuck my entire foot into my mouth. All of that came out so wrong."
I stood still for a second more before I laughed-hard. And some of my nerves actually dissipated, believe it or not. Maybe I was losing my mind. I had to be.
My laughter got Fred to at least smile-although it was hesitant, as if he thought perhaps I had to have lost it at this point.
"This is not a striptease," I told him, meeting his eyes in the mirror again. "Maybe I should have clarified, but I really didn't know how to preface this..." I let a puff of air out of my mouth, the tension in the room shifting to serious again. "I want you to know that I do trust you and I didn't know how else to prove it to you. It scares me and I don't think I can take down every wall I've put up around me right away, but I can try. The only way to do that, though is brick by brick. So...this is the removal of a brick."
My hands went back to the zipper on my sweatshirt as Fred sat frozen still on the couch, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide. I wasn't sure if he'd caught on to what I meant yet, but he continued to remain still as I tugged down the zipper, our eyes locked on each other in the reflection of the mirror.
Once the zipper was down, I took in one last deep breath, my eyes still on Fred's, and shrugged the top of the sweatshirt off my shoulders, keeping my forearms in the sleeves and letting the top pool around my waist, revealing both of the horrible scars on my back.
Fred's eyes finally left mine and his gaze flicked to my back. I continued to watch him in the mirror as his expression turned to one of concern, then sadness, then anger. But never one of repulsion or disgust.
I managed to remain still as he slowly stood up and came to stand behind me. His eyes darted back up to the mirror again in order to see my face. He raised a hand, slowly, and poised it over the scar on the right. "Can I...?" he began.
My heart thudded louder than ever inside my chest, but I ignored it and nodded.
Fred turned his attention from the mirror to my back and gently trailed his fingers along the scar, from the top to what was nearly the bottom-the last inch or so was obstructed by my bra clasp.
"You can undo it," I found myself saying.
"What?" Fred asked.
"Undo it," I said. "If you're going to see them, might as well see them unobstructed."
"Are we still talking about the scars?" Fred snorted, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips before he went serious again. "And now my other foot is in my mouth," he muttered.
"It's okay," I said with a tiny smile and a roll of my eyes. "Humor is your defense mechanism, even if it's crude humor."
Fred took in a breath and undid the clasp, moving aside only whatever fabric covered my back, and not a bit more.
"I can't believe he did this to you," he whispered, his eyes wandering over my back. "I mean, I knew these were here, but seeing them for myself...it makes me angry. Angrier than I was at this guy. Knowing that he did something like this and it's still only part of the lasting damage he's done to you..." He trailed off and shook his head as his jaw clenched.
"At least the scars aren't somewhere I see every day," I said. "It's easier to forget they're there when I can't see them. Not that I ever truly forget and not that they're the only scars, but I'm glad I don't have to look at them. They are pretty ugly."
"I don't know about that," Fred said quietly. "In fact, I see two pretty impressive angel wings." He reached out again and moved a finger from the top of one scar out over my shoulder blade, then in and back out again as he moved down my back. I didn't have to be watching him to know he was tracing the shape of an imaginary angel wing. I shivered as his finger lightly moved over my skin and he finally stilled his movements.
"Besides Tom and Martha, you're the only one that's seen them," I said, as I started putting my clothes back on correctly, covering the scars from view. "And Tom and Martha basically made me show them."
"The Veritaserum," Fred said as I nodded.
I finally turned back toward him as I finished adjusting the shoulders of my sweatshirt and zipping up the zipper. I dug my hands into the sweatshirt pockets and rocked forward slightly on my feet. "I hope it wasn't too much."
Fred shook his head. "No," he whispered. "I'm...honored. Honored that you felt that comfortable to show me on your own."
I smiled slightly. "I guess we should be getting back to the hotel," I whispered.
"Yeah, I guess we should," Fred answered after a moment, his eyes still on my face.
We put out the fire in the fireplace and made sure everything was the way we found it before slipping out the front door again. Fred used his wand to reset the alarm and lock the door behind us. We walked down the front pathway and down the sidewalk a bit before I took a left and started heading down another pathway towards the back of the house.
"Where are you going?" Fred hissed as he followed me.
"We're just making one more stop," I said. "The flower garden. It's pretty impressive, actually." I walked under a white archway covered in vines and stepped into the garden. "I mean, the flowers aren't really in full bloom now-they're usually at their best in the summertime, but..." I trailed off and shrugged as I continued down the pathway towards the center of the garden, where there was a square stone pedestal with a sundial on top of it. "I used to love playing out here during the summer when my mother was working."
Fred came to stand beside me at the sundial and squinted to read the words that were inscribed on it. "'Hours fly, flowers bloom and die, old days old ways pass by, love stays'." He looked back up at me and raised an eyebrow.
"I know, pretty ironic considering the circumstances, huh?" I asked with a wry smile. "I've been wondering for a long time if it's really just a load of crap. I mean, it can't be. Not always and not for everyone. But for me, it certainly felt like it in every way possible. Until recently." I shrugged. "I've been almost afraid of all of this ending because I wasn't sure I'd know what to do or how to live a normal life. But what I want more than anything is to be with you and George and Rachel and everyone back in London, just attempting to be normal. Figuring out what it means to be normal, you know? I want to hear Kyle telling Kayla not to sit on the counter. I want to eat Martha's bacon and eggs every other morning-and her waffles on the days I'm not. I want to finish that scarf your mother got me started on." I half-smiled up at him. "I want to spend every moment I can with you. Maybe even go on a date. Do things that normal couples would do."
Fred smiled down at me and took a step closer. "I think that's a great plan." He reached up and put a hand on my cheek, his thumb brushing along my skin as his fingertips slid lightly to the back of my neck, cradling my head as he leaned down and kissed me. I uncrossed my arms and found myself putting my hands on his chest, closing one hand lightly around a fistful of his shirt as I flattened my other palm directly over his heart. Fred's free hand snaked around my waist and he broke the kiss briefly before immediately pressing quick kisses along my jaw. My heart was pounding and I was surprised Fred couldn't actually feel it himself.
It wasn't until Fred lightly nipped at my neck that I flinched slightly and pulled away.
"Sorry," I said. "I'm just not exactly used to...this." There were so many things I could have said instead of the word this. Kissing, dating, being touched-and gently. But Fred knew what I meant just the same. He pulled away without protest.
"You don't have to apologize," he said quietly, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and giving me a tight lipped smile. "Come on, let's get back to the hotel before anyone notices we're gone." He smiled wider. "George sometimes cries when we're apart too long. Wails, actually. If that hotel's rumored to be haunted, people will think he's the ghost."
I laughed and swatted his shoulder before taking his hand and leading him back out to the sidewalk and towards the hotel.
A/N: This chapter's been a long time coming! It took a bit to get here but it's pretty much an entire chapter centered around Fred and Sophie being adorable.
Also, a fun fact-Ropes Mansion is a real mansion in Salem and if anyone has seen the movie Hocus Pocus, the outside of the house was used as Alison's house in the movie. The flower garden and the sundial are also real and I love the quote that's written on the sundial so I'm glad I got to include it in the story.
Thanks for reading!
