20 Chapters and over 100 reviews later and I have this. What is to become of Honda? I have no idea. I give you chapter 20 and maybe we'll figure it out together.
Chapter 20 – I Could Never See
"What was he thinking?"
"Is he sick?"
"Is he going to live?"
"Otogi, how did this happen?"
The voices were very faint. Honda couldn't not make out who the owner of the voices were. He felt heavy and if he moved, his whole body would ache more than anything he had ever felt before. He stayed still and continued to listen to the sounds. There was a beep and a buzz and someone running quickly yelling, "We need Doctor Hasumomo stat!" A flicker of a memory came back to Honda and he remembered. He got hit by the car and survived.
Honda could feel his friends' presence in the room, but for some reason, it still felt empty. Not everyone was there. He heard the soft sigh of Yugi and a sob somewhere far away. Honda's heart felt even heavier as he heard Otogi say, "No. I can't right now!" through his tears.
What had I done?
It was the first time Honda had ever been in the hospital for himself. The last time he was in one was for Shizuka. Shizuka…was she here? Honda stayed still again and tried to listen for her soft voice or for her sweet smell to linger to his nose. He heard nothing new and smelt nothing sweet. He felt like crying inside. There was no one here that could comfort him. If anything, they'd only make him feel worse.
"Whoa. What a big bouquet."
A voice that Honda had never heard before said, "They're for someone named Hiroto?"
Yugi spoke, "That's him right over there. Who are they from?"
"I don't know. I just deliver them."
"What does the card say, Yugi?" his yami asked.
"It just says 'with much fondness.' The handwriting looks really grown up. Maybe a relative?"
"Could be."
Honda's heart swelled. It was Kaiba who sent them, he just knew it. Honda laughed inside. "With much fondness?" That jerk stole my line.
He felt himself get tired again and instead of opening his eyes and letting everyone know he was alright, he went back to sleep. He hoped that when he woke up again, he'd have better luck.
x-x-x
It was much more still when Honda awoke again. He heard no one and there was no harsh light coming through his eyelids. Everything was quiet. Honda felt it was safe to open his eyes. It hurt at first, but Honda adjusted quickly. He looked around and saw that he was not in his own room. There was another patient a couple beds away. He was fast asleep and had bandages over his eyes. Honda did not grow curious as to why he might be there. Instead, his attention turned to a figure who sat elegantly in the low back chair in the corner. The lighting was dark, but Honda could never mistake it for anyone else.
Honda sat up quickly, his voice a soft breath, "Seto." His eyes slammed shut tight as the pain in his body grew alert. It attacked him like a tiger and had no mercy. Honda immediately, held himself around the chest, shaking uncontrollably.
"I'd lay back down if I were you." Kaiba said softly, climbing out of his chair slowly. He made no effort to rush to Honda's side, but Honda figured as much. Kaiba knew there was nothing serious about Honda's condition and did not worry about little things.
Honda laid back down and he smiled warmly as Kaiba sat down at the foot of his bed, "You're here."
"I'm just as surprised as you are." Kaiba still spoke with power when his tone was soft, "Where does it hurt?"
"Mostly my chest."
"That would be the result of broken ribs, Darling." Kaiba reached out and placed his hand on Honda's leg, "You're lucky that other than a couple bumps and bruises, that's all you have." Through the moonlight from the window, Honda could see Kaiba's lips turn up into a smirk, "If you want to kill yourself, I suggest you run in front of a car that isn't already slowing down for a stop light."
Honda blushed, "I didn't mean to kill myself."
"That what the hell are you running into the middle of the street for?"
"I don't know." Honda said, looking away from the man of his dreams.
The bed shifted as Kaiba moved. He was now leaning over Honda, their faces only a couple inches apart, "Were you trying to kill me too?"
Honda's eyes went wide. How could Kaiba say such a thing? Though, at the same time, was it true? Was Honda really just trying to end the drama? Everything that had happened, Honda didn't want to deal with it anymore. He hadn't even heard from Jou and, as much as he wished he could take it all back, he had replaced Jou with someone who was completely different. Honda felt tears burning his eyes. It was all because of Kaiba. If only Honda didn't love him. Maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. Honda had never blamed Kaiba before, but now, he was starting to see that it was his existence that made him hurt so much.
"I hate you." Honda said softly, tears sliding down his cheeks in frustration and desperation, "Why do I love you?"
Kaiba leaned down and kissed Honda's forehead, "I question that myself. Why do you love me? Why does anyone love me? Why would anyone love you? Nobody can answer that. It's a different explanation for everyone you ask. I could never answer a question only you know the answer to."
Honda's hand slowly came up, shaking from the lack of strength. He placed it on Kaiba's cheek and was please to see Kaiba's hand come up and hold it steady. The two of them sat there for the longest time in silence. A cough from the man with bandaged eyes caused Honda to jump and Kaiba only glared in his general direction. Kaiba stood up, "I should go. Jou will wonder."
"He never came to visit."
Kaiba nodded, "I know. He has his reasons, Hiroto. Don't be angry."
"What reason is that? Does he want to kill me in my sleep or something? Are you here to kill me too?"
"No. He's in another room down the hall."
Honda blinked, "What?" his eyebrows raised in horror, "What for?"
"Himself, Stupid." Kaiba kissed Honda's lips softly, "Don't worry. We don't need another person worrying right now."
Honda reached up and grabbed Kaiba, ignoring the pain in his chest. He sat up and pulled his and Kaiba's foreheads together, his eyes closed so he wouldn't have to see Kaiba's eyes as he cried again, "Seto…I love you. Jou and I do not see eye to eye anymore but I still love him too. Don't hide things from me. Promise me that?"
Kaiba's sigh was shaky, "Hiroto, I cannot promise anything. You know me. I was born to be a liar." He gently pushed Honda back into his pillows and left the room without another word.
x-x-x
Several other people had come to visit Honda over the next couple of days. Honda's mother came the very next morning. She was not crying, but she looked as if she had been on the way over. She was pleased to see Honda was well and said that she would have his bed ready at home for him. Honda felt that he was, again, lucky to be her son.
Ryou had come that afternoon with his eyes filled with tears, "I just heard!" he cried as he ran into the room and latched himself to Honda's arm. His yami, who was bitter that he could not smoke in the hospital, said that he had forgotten to tell Ryou when he had gotten the message. Honda was not shocked by the news and told Ryou that it was alright.
Shizuka was still missing. Honda had even called her once and she did not answer. He laid in his bed for the next two days wondering where she could be. He then thought that maybe she had gone back to her mother's, but, during the last night of his stay at the hospital, Honda had remembered what Kaiba had said. Jou was in the hospital too. Was he still here?
Honda was well enough to find out. In the moonlight, he stood from his bed, wincing in dull pain. From behind him he heard a voice, "Where are you going?" He turned around to see it was the man with the bandaged eyes. He said softly, "I'm going for a walk."
The man, who was sitting up in his bed, his face facing the wall in front of him, "You seem troubled, Young man. I sensed a heavy cloud of confusion and tension when you are awake."
Honda walked slowly towards the door, "It's nothing important. I just have a lot on my mind." He didn't even look at the elderly man as he opened the door to the room.
"You should not worry about little things." The man croaked, "In a place like this, time is of the essence and there's only so much of it to go around."
Honda nodded, "Thanks." Was all he would say and he closed the door behind him. He looked out into the corridor for the first time. It was long and dim. Almost all the doors were closed and had no clue as to which one his friend was in. He looked left and then right. Which way should he go? He remembered the night Kaiba came to see him and how the billionaire had gone right. Slowly putting one step in front of the other, Honda turned that way and began his journey.
He read the folders outside the doors, glancing at the names that they belonged to. None of them were Jou. Honda was discouraged. Five doors, ten doors, how many more would he have to read? He got to the eleventh door and his nose was hit with a tender, sweet smell: Shizuka. Honda smiled and looked at the folder to double check. There, in someone's messy scrawl, it said Jounouchi Katsuya. Honda took a deep breath, preparing himself for anything that he might see. With a confident hand, he opened the door and stepped in.
"Jou?" The only sound he heard was the beeping from the heart monitor. He stepped farther inside, seeing the figure lying in his bed. He asked again, "Jou?"
The blonde turned his head to face his friend, "Honda?"
"What's up, Man?" Honda asked, coming to the side of the bed. From the moonlight, Honda could see that Jou was very pale and he looked tired. He looked Jou up and down and couldn't see a thing wrong with him, "Why are you in here?"
Jou shook his head, "It's nothing important. How you doin'?" he said with a small smile, "Seto told me you ran in front of a car? Why would you do something stupid like that?"
Honda shrugged, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
Jou nodded, "Yea… I know the feeling." He placed a hand subconsciously over his wrist. He asked quietly, "Have you ever…" he stumbled in his words, "Ever wanted to just escape from everything?"
"Oh yea. Definitely." Honda nodded with a knowing smile.
"Yea." His voice suddenly wavered, "My whole life…I've felt like that. With my mom and Shizuka, my grades, not having a job, not being a great duelist…" he wiped his nose with the sleeve of his hospital gown, "I've never felt like I belonged or that I was doing something right," his tone was suddenly angry, "but I always tried to do the right thing. I never gave up!" his hot tears made trails of steam down his cheeks and onto his blankets, "It's not fair! It isn't fair, Honda! I'm not ready to die yet!" he collapsed into Honda's arms, "I can't die…not until I do the right thing."
Honda's eyes went wide and he held the blonde in his arms. Dying? There's just no possible way that this could be happening! Honda squeezed Jou tight, "Jou…what's wrong with you?"
The clearing of someone's throat caused the both of them to look over towards the door. A disgruntled nurse stood with her fists on her hips, "It's time for another visit to the doctor, Mr. Jounouchi."
Honda blinked, "Visit to the doctor? It's barely four in the morning." he looked down at Jou. The boy was very quiet and wouldn't look at Honda in the eye.
The nurse nodded, "Yes well the doctor came in especially for Jou and we have to make sure that heart of his is going to pull through during the operation." She frowned deeply at Honda, "Shouldn't you be in a bed?"
Honda looked down at his hospital gown and gulped, "uh…yea. I wanted to uh…" he lied quickly, "wish Jou luck. C-can you give us a minute?"
The nurse rolled her eyes. She obviously had to deal with this more than once a day. She clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth, "You have exactly one minute." She tapped her watch and stepped out of the room.
Honda barely waited until she was gone, "You have a bad heart?"
Jou started to cry again, "I was born with it. I didn't want to tell anyone. Seto didn't want to bother people. He said that I'd live through it and there would be no problem." He hiccupped from not being able to breathe through his sobs, "God, Honda. I- I just can't believe this is actually happening. This can't be happening."
Honda could only hug Jou tight again, "Don't worry, Jou. It'll be fine. You're going to be alright. When's your operation?"
Jou was very quiet, "Later in the morning. Will you come see me in the afternoon?" he looked like a small child then. His eyes were wide and vulnerable. He held onto Honda as if he was holding tight onto the edge his mother's dress and was never letting go.
"Sure." He smiled a small smile. He felt the sun's warmth as it crept through the window. He kissed the top of Jou's head and said, "Jou?"
"Hm?" Jou's face was buried in Honda's chest.
"No matter what has happened or will happen, you'll always be my best friend. I love you, Man."
Jou gave a hearty laugh, "Dude, don't be all mushy. I'll see you soon." And for that brief moment, it was if Jou was never in a hospital bed. Honda felt like they were on the street corner looking around for some spare change for the arcade. They weren't in hospital gowns, but, instead, wore their school uniforms, sneaking peeks up the skirts of unsuspecting girls. Honda was finally remembering the love he had for the blonde. If seemed as if their friendship was blooming again; blossoming like morning glories when the sun kissed their buds.
The nurse came back in just as the two boys let go of their embrace, "I gave you two minutes and nothing more. We must be going now."
Honda nodded as he watched Jou get taken away. He stood in the empty hospital and he closed his eyes. He held his hands together tightly and don't something he hadn't done for as long as he could remember. He prayed.
Someone up there, please, take better care of Jou than I did. I don't pray like I should and I don't act as I should, but please, don't take him away from me just yet. I'm not done having a best friend.
x-x-x
It's not proven that Jou has a bad heart. I just made it up for a really interesting plot. No, I couldn't come up with something better. If anything, this is the something better. I'll have chapter 21 as soon as I can. Take care!
