A/N: Thanks for reviews!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans

Rated T or PG- 13 for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.

Genre: Drama/Angst/Romance

Chapter 11. Heart Attack

Morning-

Beastboy had just gotten out of the shower and was making his way to the kitchen. When he arrived he found it empty and silent. Perfect. If no one was there then he could make herbal tea for Raven.

After setting a pot of water to boil he reached into the cabinet to take out a little packet to put in the tea. He opened it up and let it settle in the water making it change color and taste. Now he was making himself some breakfast for his stomach had growled. He took out the soymilk and began to drink it out of the carton. It didn't matter anyway; no one would drink it but him.

Minutes later the pot let out a whistle signifying that the herbal tea was ready. Steam rose as he poured it into a mug. He smiled glad to know that he was helping Raven in some way at least. Suddenly a hand clamped onto his back making him froze and his eyes widen.

"What are you doing Beastboy?" the deep voice questioned. Beastboy stayed silent for a moment before slowing turning around to face the person that caught him in action.

"Cyborg?"

"Why are you making herbal tea?" Cyborg asked in confusion as he stared at the tea with an eyebrow raised.

"I-I-I wanted to…drink, some?" he said in an almost question. He swallowed the lump in his throat as sweat formed on his forehead.

"Very funny, tell me what's really going on," Cyborg stated then crossed his arms and waiting expectedly for the answer.

"What? Can't I have herbal tea?" Beastboy asked slightly annoyed.

"You hate that stuff!" the metal Titan exclaimed.

"I never said that!" Beastboy exclaimed back.

"Drink it."

"What?" Beastboy asked surprised.

"Let's see you drink it if you love it so much."

"I never said I loved it!"

"But you said you didn't hate it." Cyborg countered with a grin. Beastboy looked at him with anger before taking the cup in his hands then taking a sip. For a moment it was all right, his expression didn't show disgust. Suddenly the taste kicked in, it was horrible! At that moment he spit it out wetting Cyborg's feet.

"Oh gross!" Cyborg screamed as he shook his foot to get the liquid off.

"Uh…delicious?" Beastboy said with hope.

"Spill," the metal Titan said with determination. Beastboy looked at him with confusion.

"You want me to spit it out again?"

"NO! I MEAN SPILL AS IN TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE HIDING!" Cyborg shrieked almost blowing Beastboy into the air.

"I'm not hiding anything." he simply said.

"Sure, and I'm all human…" Cyborg said sarcastically. "Come one BB, I'm one of your best friends you can trust me."

"…Promise you won't tell anyone…" Beastboy said hesitantly.

"You're not cheating on Terra are you?" Cyborg questioned eyeing him.

"No!" he exclaimed

"Okay, Okay, Sorry for jumping into conclusions," he said.

"You better be sorry," Beastboy pissed off that his on friend would think that.

"Well…"

"I don't know…"

"You can't back out now…I think I have an idea who that herbal tea is for…"

Beastboy looked nervous now, crap! Cyborg probably thinks it's for Raven. Then he'll go tell Robin and then Raven will stay in there longer and they would make sure he doesn't visit her anymore. No! He didn't want that he would miss her so much. There would be an empty hole in his life and heart. Raven was his best friend and she held a special place in his heart no matter what happened or what anyone said.

"It's Raven isn't it?" Cyborg questioned. His face expression softened.

"Who'd you guess?"

"Well, the herbal tea kinda gave it away."

"Heh, yeah…" he said with a forced laugh as he ran a hand through his forest green hair.

"Look, I figured you would want to keep this a secret, am I right?" he asked.

"That would be great."

"And I will keep it a secret. I have nothing against it," Cyborg explained. This made Beastboy expression turn to one of happiness.

"Dude! Thank you so much. It means a lot to me!" his emerald green eyes lit up.

"No problem, you know I think you're the right person for Raven to talk to," Cyborg continued. "But…" oh no, what was with that 'but'. Something was wrong… "I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret."

"Regret? What do you mean regret?" Beastboy questioned.

"Just be careful. I mean if Terra finds out you're meeting Raven she'll freak out. Who knows what they'll do next time they see each other."

"Dude, no worries, I'll be careful. Anyway I gotta take this to her. Later…" Beastboy got up and refilled the mug.

"Later…"

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Beastboy was still thinking over what Cyborg had said. Don't do anything you'll regret…what does he mean by that? Nothing wrong was going on at all. So they hugged but it was a friendly hug or was there more?

He chased the thoughts out of his mind and made his way to the elevator. He pressed the button and the door opened; inside he saw Starfire and Robin kissing passionately; it was like they were going to die if they parted. Talk about tension…a particular tension…

"Dude!" He said grossed out. Robin went red and he quickly pressed the button so that the door would close again. "Dude! I needed to use the elevator!" he yelled.

Now he had to wait once more, he couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Robin's red cheeks. It was funny but finally Robin and Starfire were together that's what mattered the most. Now he had some happy news for Raven, he was sure this would lighten her mood.

The elevator doors opened once more and he saw no one in there. He let out a sigh and stepped being careful with the mug of herbal tea. The elevator stopped eventually and he made his way to the room.

"Okay time for the code, Beautiful Star," he laughed at the code. Robin was so in love with Starfire and that just gave the code away.

He walked in again but Raven was asleep again. He just smiled and walked up to her bed; he placed the herbal tea on the dresser. She was sleeping peacefully and didn't seem to know he was there. He felt he should let her sleep. So quietly he made his way over to the bookcase that had caught his attention.

A book stuck out, it had a purple cover and a raven drawn on it. Curiosity struck him so he opened it up and saw that it was a different kind of book. It had poems in it that seemed to be hand written. He skimmed through them and they were really well written, some were sad, others anger, while some were happy. It was full of emotion. He came across one that read "Under My Skin". It caught his attention so he settled down on the bed and began to read out loud.

"Under My Skin… the feeling of pain that flows through me is unbearable, the thought that he loves another is my own hell, when he's with her he forgets about me and I can't help but feel terrible, she took his love and---" he was interrupted by a scream.

"No, don't read that!" Raven shouted with fear in her violet eyes. He looked up only to see Raven snatch the book from his hands blushing like never before.

Beastboy couldn't help but smile at her embarrassment. 'She's beautiful…' once again his mind betrayed him. 'No! Dude she's your best friend, besides you have Terra!'. He shook the thoughts out of his head.

"Rae, you're up!" he greeted her than gave her a hug. He could feel she was a little tense. "Don't worry about before, it's all in the past," he assured her.

"Uh…yeah…look I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's just that the book you read is personal…"

"You wrote it didn't you?" he asked looking into her violet eyes.

"How could you tell?"

"Well the raven on the front cover said it all," he explained with smile.

"You didn't read it all did you?" she questioned nervous. If he read it she wouldn't show her face ever again.

"Just skimmed through them, but then I started reading "Under My Skin", that's when you got up and freaked," he said with a laugh. "Actually, you have good writing skills…I'm just curious…but who was it about?" he questioned. Wait; was he jealous? This was new… he just wanted to know who it was about he wasn't jealous! That's absurd! Ha… sure…

"Uh… someone you don't know," she made up her lie. She hated lying, this just added to all those little white lies she told. One day it would come back to haunt her.

"Raven, you rarely some out of your room, how would it be someone we hadn't meet before?" Beastboy said with an eyebrow raised. Raven began to panic a little.

"Okay, it was about Malchior," she lied again.

"Malchior didn't love anyone else," Beastboy said shooting down another lie.

"Just, let it go!" Raven quickly shouted. He looked at her with confusion for a moment before leaving he alone about it.

"Sorry…anyway I have great news!" Beastboy said with a smile. "Get this, I found Robin and Starfire making out in the elevator!" he announced laughing already. Raven couldn't help but smile.

"Really?" she asked. Was this for real…wasn't Robin afraid of commitment?

"Totally, they were going at it like maniacs!"

"That's…nice to know." she said sarcastically. She got a very disturbing image.

"It was hilarious! I was coming down here so I press the button to open the elevator, suddenly I see Robin and Starfire all over each other!" he exclaimed holding his side from laughing too hard. "And then! He saw me and went all red then closed the elevator doors. Gosh, that was funny!" Beastboy began to wipe tears from his eyes.

Raven let out a small laugh; it was humorous to just imagine Robin blushing mad. The fact that Beastboy was dieing with laughter didn't help her keep quiet.

"Dude! You laughed!" he exclaimed and jumped up doing one of his little dances. Raven glared at him. "Sorry, just excited! Hopefully you'll laugh more," he said with a smile, his emerald green eyes glistening with happiness.

"This is a once in a life time thing, Beastboy," she stated.

"Awe, I screw everything up! First the smile thing now the laugh," he said to himself annoyed.

"It's not your fault…I'm just not the expressive kind…"

"Yes you can be expressive. You've cried in front of me many times. That's expressive Rae," he reminded her and saw her turn away closing her eyes.

"I couldn't control myself those times…I was having emotional breakdowns. It's a miracle that I didn't kill anyone…"

"Of course you won't. Remember Trigon is gone forever, you can show emotion now…"

"I know but I'm not used to doing it. All those times I cried I couldn't control them. Now that I can feel there's no guard up to hold me from letting out my emotions," she explained with a sigh. Raven opened her eyes at the feeling of his arm around her shoulder holding her close to him. She let him comfort him and buried into his embrace.

"It's hard to believe that years ago I couldn't even look at you without you snapping at me…" He said with a small laugh.

"Things have changed…" she reminded him.

"Yeah…now here I am hugging you. Having your trust, and friendship. It's great to now that we became closer now…you know?" he whispered. Slowly he let her go. "Remember yesterday, when I was talking to you about Terra…" he said quietly.

Raven stayed silent for a moment. "Yes…" somehow she knew where this was going.

"Well, I trust you completely so I'm going to tell you what's wrong, maybe you can help me. Lately I've been feeling very confused…" he explained. Raven nodded and turned to his direction to listen better.

"Tell me."

"Terra, she's been acting different lately. Before everything was great, but now it seems like she's trying too hard. Before when she kissed me, it felt right, you know?"

"Actually, no, I don't…" Raven responded. She hated having to hear about them kissing it was tearing her apart she could feel the burn. But she had to be strong…

"Maybe I should stop…" Beastboy said rather hesitant.

"No, it's all right I want to help you."

"…Okay. Terra, well, now she's, how can I put it…she tries to do uhh…" he felt himself redden in the cheeks. Raven looked at him confused and he noticed a bit of fear.

"She's trying to…get me to do more then kissing with her…" he saw Raven look away. "Sorry, see this is why I didn't want to tell you yesterday," he was then interrupted.

"It's fine, it's understandable for Terra to want that with you. She's your girlfriend… and you are eighteen. You're an adult now."

"Yeah, but, the thing is, I don't want to do that with her. Any other guy would agree and go along with it but not me…"

"You're different, Beastboy. All I can tell you is to tell Terra how you're feeling…" she said then closed her eyes once more trying desperately to hold in tears of pain.

"I just don't want to hurt her feelings. She really loves me and I-I love her too, but I--" he was about to say more but after those words Raven felt her heart tear apart with pain. She winced but held in her pain. This caught his attention.

He still loves her! He loves Terra! She heard her emotions scream in her mind.

She hated herself so much right now. "Raven?" Beastboy questioned looking nervous. "Are you okay!" he was now frantic. "What's happening!"

Raven could feel her tears flow down her cheeks. She was gasping for air, this was new to her; she had never felt immense pain before. Her whole body was collapsing under the pressure. Beastboy didn't know what to do he began to carry her but she stopped.

"No! This—will—pass," she said through pain.

"I have to take you to the hospital I can't leave you like this!" he exclaimed. Fear was evident in his eyes.

"No! Please, promise me you won't tell anyone about this!" she shouted. Her face showed anguish as he held her close.

"But—"

"Promise me!" she cried in agony, her tears staining his uniform.

"…Fine…" he said but inside he didn't want to say fine, far from it actually. But he had to, Raven asked him too. But he would find a way to help her… that he promised himself.

Beastboy held her close to him, rocking her back and forth trying to ease her pain and whispering in her ear that everything was going to be fine. Slowly her pain began to subside…he felt her body stop shaking and soon relax. He looked down to see her asleep in his arms. Slowly he laid her down on her bed and covered her in the sheets.

He stayed silent and looked at her for a moment. She was finally at peace away from the pain. He hated feeling useless to her, he couldn't help her the only thing he could offer was comfort and care. He wondered what had happened minutes ago, was she having some sort of attack?

Beastboy sighed then kneeled down beside her bed; pushing aside strands of hair that were placed on her pale face. He didn't know what came over him but at that moment he suddenly found himself giving Raven a light kiss on her forehead. He saw her stir for a moment then become still again.

He walked towards the doors but then stopped abruptly. He looked back at Raven and his expression changed to one of concern. "I never knew how much pain you went through…" he whispered before leaving her in the darkness…

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