Chapter 8: Grieving Takes Time
After they made it back from Boston, Hotch informed them that they had to take six weeks off. Due to the nature of the case, the whole team had to take six weeks off. Some members were disappointed about this, while others saw it as an opportunity. It didn't sit right that Emily's attacker was still out there, but they were never actually removed from the Doyle case. Reid thought that this break would be the best thing for Emily, and also himself.
He followed her back to her place after they left the office that afternoon. Spencer refused to let her be alone during this, especially now. For that, Emily was thankful. She felt bad it because she thought she was bothering him. She was about to ask him, but he spoke first.
"I'm not letting you go through this alone, Emily." Reid said as he carried their stuff into her home. She gave him a weak smile as she closed the door behind them. They were now in a safe place away from everyone. "Let me take care of you." He added as she pulled him close and broke down again. She was always the one looking out for him when he was in need, now it was his turn to do so for her.
"I'm so sorry, Spense." She apologized for breaking down again. He stopped her before she could say more. He assured her that she had nothing to be sorry for, and that it was okay to grieve.
"Emily, it's okay." He tried to comfort her.
"It's my fault." Emily managed to choke out in between sobs. He couldn't believe that she was blaming herself for this. He shook his head in protest. "Spense, I can understand if you don't want to be with me anymore." She sobbed.
"Emily none of this is your fault. You cannot blame yourself for what happened." He pleaded with her. Spencer made a mental note to be the one to kill Doyle of the opportunity arose. "Emily Prentiss, I love you. I'm staying by your side for the good, the bad, and everything in between." He vowed that he would stay no matter what life threw at them. When Spencer Reid loved someone, he meant every word.
"I love you too." She whispered with her face still buried in the crook of his neck. After she loosened her grip on him, she made her way to her bedroom. Spencer took the opportunity to run her a hot bath. He thought that it would help her relax some.
"I ran you a hot bath." He said as he came back into her bedroom to find her lying on the bed curled up. She opened her eyes and nodded as she got up and went into the bathroom.
Tears started to fall again as she undressed. The clover shaped scar above her left breast left a painful reminder of the previous two days. She smiled when she walked closer to the bathtub and smelled the lavender oil that Spencer added to the bath. He knew her well, she loved it. She got in and tried to relax as much as she could. The hot water relaxed her sore body, and the lavender put her mind at ease. Emily stayed in the bath until the water started to get cold.
While she was in the bath, Reid went through her kitchen. He was shocked to find enough ingredients to make some chicken noodle soup for her. Just as he finished cooking the soup, he saw her come into the kitchen in her silk robe.
"Thank you, Spense. I really needed that." She spoke as she sat down on one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar. He nodded and motioned towards the soup that he made.
"I made you some chicken noodle soup." He said as he placed a bowl in front of her. He knew she must have been starving since she hadn't eaten anything all day. He noticed that she had pushed the breakfast around on her plate on the flight earlier in the morning.
"This is really good." She answered after swallowing a few spoons full of the soup. He made himself a bowl and sat down beside her. He was glad to see her finally eat something today. Emily had finished her bowl rather quickly. He offered to get her some more which she gladly accepted. After they finished eating, Reid took care of the dishes.
While finishing up the dishes he saw that she was sitting on the couch. The TV was on, but she wasn't really watching what was on. She was just staring at the screen. Emily had a lot on her mind but wanted to make it seem like she was watching TV.
"Is there something you want to watch?" Spencer asked knowing that she wasn't actually watching what was on the television.
"You can put it on whatever you want." She replied as she made room for him to sit next to her. Reid flipped through the channels until he found something he thought she would like as well. He knew she liked Syfy just as much as he did. He thought that might help some, but what he didn't think about were the commercials. Their show was interrupted by the usual commercials. Unfortunately, the one that came on was one promoting diapers. The image of the mother holding her newborn really upset Emily.
The second the image of the mother with the newborn flashed on the screen, Emily excused herself and went upstairs. It was a painful reminded that she and Spencer wouldn't be welcoming a son or daughter at the end of September or early October. Spencer got up from the couch and went upstairs to find her sitting on her bed looking out the window and sobbing. She ran upstairs because she wanted to spare him the pain.
"Em?" He tried to get her attention. When she didn't respond, he just sat on the bed next to her. Spencer held her in his arms as she sobbed, this time he was as well. Her pulling him closer let him know that just him being there for her meant everything to her. She was about to say something when she noticed that part of his shirt was soaked with her tears, but he stopped her before she could do so. "You don't have to apologize for grieving, let yourself every emotion that comes your way. I will be right here with you. Be kind to yourself, Emily." He reminded her that she had nothing to be sorry for.
After a few minutes had passed he pulled back the covers for them to get some much-needed sleep. Emily stared off into space a little while before falling asleep. She was exhausted. Spencer, on the other hand, was having a hard time falling asleep. He was thinking of all the ways that he could have protected her. He felt like he should have tried to reach out to her more when she pushed everyone away. He thought that maybe that would have prevented her from leaving off on her own, but he didn't want to push her. He was disrupted from his thoughts when he felt movement and hear her talking in her sleep. She was having a nightmare.
"No, please don't…." She mumbled as she tossed and turned. Spencer didn't even want to think about the horrors that she was reliving.
"Emily, I'm right here." He rolled over and put an arm around her protecting her from whatever bad thoughts were running through her mind. After a few seconds she stopped moving around and mumbling pleas. Spencer stayed awake holding her close until he knew she was asleep. Once he knew she was asleep, he too gave in and fell asleep himself.
The Next Morning
Emily woke up to find that she was the only one in bed. She knew that Spencer had gone to bed with her the previous night. The smell coming from downstairs let her know where Reid was. She got out of bed and went down to the kitchen not even bothering to put on her robe. Spencer looked up when he saw her coming down the stairs. He smiled when he saw that she was still in her sleepwear.
"Good morning, beautiful." He said as he placed a plate full of breakfast in front of her. He looked at the loose-fitting t-shirt she was wearing and realized that it was his.
"Morning, Spense." She answered him before she started eating her breakfast. This made him genuinely happy. He fixed his plate and sat down next to her. He was still staring at her shirt.
"What?" She asked him in between bites. At first she thought that he was uncomfortable, but that was not the case at all.
"Is that my shirt?" He chuckled already knowing the answer. She looked at him with a smile.
"Maybe." She laughed as they continued eating their breakfast. This was the first time he heard Emily Prentiss genuinely laugh in weeks. The Emily that he knew and loved was making a comeback. He knew she was going to get through this, they were going to get through this. He was also aware that it could take her awhile to completely heal from this traumatizing even in her life. He was going to stay by her side through all of it.
