Chapter Sixteen

...

Evening was growing into night by the time Mira found the courage to do what she'd been thinking about doing for two days. It was all a matter of timing now.

It wouldn't be easy, telling Optimus about Ratchet and the Wreckers. It wasn't easy to think about. It twisted her guts every time she thought about hearing Ratchet's voice; seeing his spark ripped mercilessly out of his chest as if he'd been nothing. He had been nothing to Lockdown, just a trophy. Just a source of information to get what he wanted. But, he'd been something to Mira and her friends, her family. The thought twisted around her head like a venomous snake sinking its fangs into her emotions.

Tessa had taken over the duty of caring to Merrick. She dutifully colored pictures with the boy and talked to him about his favorite TV show-Indiana Jones-and played games with him on paper like hangman, tic-tac-toe, and dots and boxes. She listened to him rattle on about random information that a six-year-old would know. Mira watched from her place as Tessa, ever the dutiful babysitter, sacrificed her time for Merrick, so graciously putting up with the boy. He seemed to enjoy her.

Cade, on the other hand, was dutifully taking apart the gun she'd snagged from the Cemetary Wind soldier. He'd been working for hours trying to figure it out and find any type of information. Bryce, the technology savvy younger brother of hers, dutifully assisted; his love of firearms driving him on.

Mira, on the other hand, had the glorious job of debriefing with Optimus. Actually, she always did more of the listening than the talking; unwilling to make blunders and misspeak in front of her comrades by using terms she was unfamiliar with or saying something wrong. Though a tedious and often monotonous task; she always did enjoy it. Mira found she learned much from these debriefings; she learned about Cybertronian warfare and the way her comrades thought. She learned strategies and technique; plans and weaponry. Here, everyone knew Mira was inexperienced; yet they did not hold it against her: she was free to learn and question. Optimus always made sure she understood and would stop to ask if she was following; he wanted her on the same page as him, and was not afraid to show it. The others didn't seem to mind either: actually, Bumblebee made sure Mira understood through a serious of text messages that explained everything that was going on.

This night, however, was darker than most. She found herself perched atop a rock, sitting Indian style with her and Will's NEST paperwork, and a pen. The Autobots had activated their lights; Optimus dutifully standing behind her and providing her with light necessary for her work and sorting paperwork. He talked amongst the others; mostly about their time away for three years: what they'd seen, heard, done. Where they'd visited and the allies they'd made with their holoforms. Mira had tuned them out, however, scrolling through the paperwork halfheartedly and signing here and there places they'd left blank after NEST disbanding. Finally, when the light shifted, she looked up.

"Mira?"It was Optimus, with a look of concern on his face.

She raised her brows behind her glasses. "Yes?"

He sighed, "What are you so diligently working at? You haven't been listening this entire conversation," he moved to stand before her, the earth trembling with his mass weight. Finally, he surprisingly squatted to stare at her, eye level. "This is not like you."

Feeling guilty, she sighed and closed her folder. "I suppose you're right. I was just filling in some blanks from awhile ago," she reached for the back-pack and stuck the pen behind her ear. She reached her hand inside the pack and her knuckles collided with smooth leather. Curious, she pulled out the two objects and dropped the back-pack beside her. Heat spread through her body, and her heart-beat picked up a few paces. She must've gasped, because the entire team moved forward to examine her.

"Mira?" Optimus asked again, cautiously.

Hound rumbled, "Ya looked like you've seen a ghost, darlin'."

She looked up at them and flipped open the leather wallet-type objects, then stroked her thumb across the emblazened emblem: a circle with a three points; and a skull trapped within the middle. The logo was in cursive lettering, the stainless steel untouched by the elements: If I tell you, I have to kill you: NEST. A lump formed in her throat as she inspected the badge number: PK784621-Major Lennox. She closed her eyes and said nothing.

"Not ghosts, Hound," she looked up at him and slipped Will's badge into the pocket of her cargoes, "just memories." Then, flipping her own badge open, she studied the badge number which she'd memorized: QL968500-General Lennox. Her rank had been promoted when she'd been awarded the Shield; much to her dismay. Optimus had insisted, she'd simply slipped into the shadows and allowed it. Mira hated playing the rank card, but she often had too; especially with the other soldiers and the Autobots more along the lines of the spunky type; such as Crosshairs. She slipped her badge into her back pocket by her cell-phone.

Then, she unfolded her legs and rested the soles of her feet flat on the rock, her arms draped over her knees. Hanging her head, she sighed slowly, "Guys," she bit her lower lip before continuing, "...there's something you should probably know,"

Optimus perked at the announcement. He stood, folded his arms across his chest and waited. "Go ahead, Mira."

She looked away, towards the fire Cade and Bryce had paused to make. Tessa was busying watching stars with Merrick, pointing out constellations and making wishes. Mira smiled, thinking how much of a pair they made. Then she looked to Cade, and her stomach toppled over. Something about that man made her loose all resolve, yet the other thing about him made her terrified. She reasoned it was nerves and looked back to her friends. Reaching up to the Shield, she took it in her fingers and began to stoke it and began slowly.

"After we disbanded and said our goodbyes," she sighed, "I met up with Ratchet six weeks later." She looked up to see everyone's expression: Hound's brow-plating had risen a few inches, Crosshairs was shaking his head, Drift had stopped sharpening one of his samurai blades as he sat on a rock adjacent hers, and Bumblebee hummed quietly as if in warning. Optimus, however, scared her: he gave her a steel-cold look that showed disappointment, concern, and curiosity. "We both agreed to continue meeting every six or seven weeks in different locations. It was a way of keeping NEST alive," she looked to the backpack, "it went on for awhile before Will was killed. Then," she looked up at Optimus, "we met in Mexico. After that happened I didn't go and see Ratchet for about three months. Only after he tracked me down and came to Paris did I resume seeing him."

"Mira," Crosshairs began, stepping forward and gesturing a hand to her, "you know that was against orders. That was dangerous, and stupid. If anyone had caught you-"

Optimus put up a hand to stop him, "Let her continue."

His tone was icy and hurt, and she swallowed hard. "...we talked mostly about NEST and the government; what would happen and the changes we thought should've happened. We theorized about NEST if it ever began again; if we could ever be allies again. Mostly we talked about his studies and research. He made some marvelous things that I began to trade illegally for weapons." She released the Shield and it gently bounced off her chest continually on its chain. Standing, she crossed her arms and turned her back to them, looking to the stars, "I figured someday the government would find Merrick and I and that I would need protection. I wasn't about to go down without a fight.

I also reasoned that if any of the Decepticons came around I wasn't going to cave into their desires either. Ratchet provided tons of medication and cures that I sold for grade-A weapons and gadgets, ammo and other things," she turned back to them. Their lights had dimmed now, and she looked down to her boots, rocking back on her heels, "I needed protection for Merrick and myself, since you guys and Will were gone." Her voice was quiet, "I didn't know what else to do."

They stared at her for a long time, before Drift asked the question burning the air around them to the point it was getting hard for Mira to breath comfortably. "If you were staying in contact with Ratchet, then you have another location marked for rendezvous, correct?"

This is where it got hard, Mira told herself. Nodding slowly, she felt a burst of sorrow and reality hit her stomach so hard it was crazy. Immediately emotion seized her and she choked back a hard and heavy sob. Spinning on her heel quickly, she bit down on her knuckles and pinched her eyes shut, unwilling to sob in front of her friends. Swallowing thickly, she told herself she had to do this. Removing her hand from her mouth, she gasped for air to settle herself and swiped at her eyes with the back of her wrist to remove the tears blurring her eyes. "I met with Ratchet a few days ago." She whispered. Hearing the quirks from Bumblebee and the shifting of metal caused her to turn around. Their looks all softened when they saw her state; now she absolutely couldn't stop the tears from coming down a burning path across her face. Her shoulders began to tremble until she couldn't suppress the sob arising in her throat, threatening its attack on her words any longer, "I...I thought I wasn't followed."

There was a harrowing effect. Crosshairs hung his head and turned away from her, reasoning to look to the stars with his hands crossed in front of him. Drift was still like the night, his optics staring at her with gracious sympathy. Bumblebee and Hound exchanged looks and Hound removed the bullet "cigar" from his mouth, looking to Optimus; who had locked stares with her. Tears poured down her face and she just stared into his optics, trying to read his emotions. He was like a stone.

"They came and attacked. Ratchet got me out before they knew where I was." Removing the stone from around her neck, she tossed it to Optimus, who extended his massive hand. The Shield collided with his fingertip and slid into his palm, microscopic almost to his massivity. "The Shield recorded everything. Ratchet's dead."

Thinness struck the air. "Dead?" The radio clip was solumn from Bumblebee. Crosshairs, obviously enraged, stormed out of their meeting grumbling and into the darkness. Drift slid off his rock and approached her own, placing two hands on either side of her and staring at her with soft optics; ones of concern and worries. Hound went after Crosshairs, and Bumblebee approached Prime.

She was still locked in a staring contest with Optimus, a firm look painted on his face almost permanently. "I'm sorry," she breathed, "I...I did what I thought was right. It was a mistake."

"A mistake that cost Ratchet his life," Optimus said coldly. That stung her in her heart, and sent her half a step backwards. Optimus narrowed his optics at her, then broke their lock by looking away. He said nothing more, then headed east away from the group. As he turned his back on her, all resolve left Mira, and she clapped a hand over her mouth to keep her sobbing silent. She then looked to Drift and shook her head repeatedly.

"You witnessed his death, didn't you, Miriam?" He asked softly, "You watched Ratchet die."

She nodded rapidly now, her breathing becoming labored and treacherously shallow, "Y-yes. L...Lockdown..." she looked to Optimus, his form continually walking further from them, until he turned his lights off and was lost to the grips of the darkness, "Lockdown took his..." she then looked back to Drift, "Lockdown took his spark, Drift. He...He ripped it out of his sparkchamber," it came out hushed and slow, as if she'd just realized it had happened.

Drift hung his head, then snapped his head to look up at her, "Miriam," he said, as he noted her trembling form barely able to stand, "this isn't your faul-"

She cut him off, "Yes. Yes it is my fault, don't you see!? I should've followed orders! I should've listened to Optimu-" she sobbed now, stumbling forward, Drift moving a finger to catch her heaving form. She flung up against it and her feet came out from beneath her. He was supporting her now as she was hardly able to breath, "I...I killed-"

"Mira," Drift said quietly. He took a gentle finger and tipped her chin up to look at him, her eyes now puffy and red from her crying. Her nose was red too, and her face was wet with tears, which were rolling down her chin and onto her chest. Her poor body was shaking. He felt genuinely sorry for her, and pushed aside his grief to comfort her in this, as he felt was his duty, "every being in this universe has a time and season for life, whether a long life or a brief one," her bottom lip began to tremble and she sniffled, "Ratchet was well aware of the danger he put himself in, as were you. You both made a decision to kindle a dying remnant of flame that resided after we were gone. That is what being an Autobot is about; finding strength even when strength itself is gone. You dared to keep us alive, and you did. You fought the odds. It is a beautiful thing." he gave her a soft, hardly noticeable smile, "death happens, Mira. It calls forth the ones it so desires. We can do nothing to change that,"

"But Ratchet-"

He silenced her, "Ratchet knew the stakes of our war, Mira. He knew, above all of Optimus' orders, that protecting humans-especially you-was the first and foremost action. I am sure he died mostly honorably."

Mira nodded, looking towards where Optimus had vanished. "He'll never forgive me." she breathed.

This made Drift chuckle as she regained her footing, sniffling now, as he stood and gave a half smile to the same direction, "Optimus is wise. I have known him many eons," he looked to Mira, "and he grieves in a hard way," he nodded to her now and then looked to Hound and Crosshairs, where Bumblebee was busy gesturing wildly and probably communication through a comm-link, "he will come to realize your mistake was genuine, he always does. Optimus is very good about forgiveness, he has a great capacity for mercy. He will come around." He looked back to her and then to where Prime had vanished, "Especially when it comes to you. He loves you very much, Mira." Drift began to chuckle, "He won't be able to stand being away from you, not now."

She seated herself on the rock again, and drew her knees up to her chest. "Yeah, well, that was when I followed orders. I'm a bit of a rulebreaker now."

"You're still the same Mira. His spark doesn't know the difference, and neither does the Matrix."

Then, Drift transformed down into his Bugati form; a sleek muscle car of blue and black streamline that was elegant, dangerous, and expensive. The driver's side door opened and the headlights flicked on; then blue neon erupted beneath the car, and spotted a blue hue around the headlights. The dome light shone through the windshield, and soon a electrifying form took the air beside her and claimed it with a holoform.

Surprisingly, the form was not what she expected. Roughly around 5'10'', he had deep black hair and matching eyes, pale skin and Japanese features so perfect it briefly terrified her. Clean shaven, he sported a small goatee on his chin, and wore a black t-shirt with a blue pilot's jacket, and sunglasses atop his head. Well muscled and trim like a fighter, he too wore an Autobot insignia in the form of a necklace. The holoform bore Drift's presence: one of wisdom, peace, and strength, and it sent waves of comfort throughout her body. He was oddly peaceful, and gently sat down beside her.

"He will see reason, I assure you."

She gave him a gentle smile, "I hope so." Then, looking to the stars, she was surprised when he draped an arm around her shoulders and gently nudged her into him. Mira, taking the action as a gesture of extreme forgiveness and compassion, as well as friendship, rested her head against his shoulder and let her legs outstretch into a half-lying, half sitting up position. She looked toward the sky and sighed. "Thank you, Drift."

He chuckled, "It is my greatest pleasure, miss. A gentleman is always there for a lady," he looked down at her, "do not worry though. Optimus is always the gentlemen, but he is first a leader. A leader with many grievances, as well as responsibilities."

"I never doubted him."

Drift nodded. "I never said you did."