A/N: Thanks for so many reviews! Sorry for the long wait, I was caught up with other things.

Rated T for- Violence, language, difficult situations, and Romance scenes later on.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans

Chapter 15. Dilemma

Raven woke up screaming, her face drenched in sweat, and her chest heaving up and down as she tried to regain her normal rate of breathing. She held her head in her hands and quickly wiped away her tears. She was becoming sick of these death dreams. She had to admit she was terrified; she couldn't sleep after this dream.

She took the covers off her and grabbed her purple robe. Quietly she stepped out of her room barefoot without a word. The hallways were eerily dark and silent. Suddenly she saw a shadow across on the wall. She blinked and the next moment it was gone.

"What?" she looked around for a moment but spotted no one. "Who's there?" she called out.

Silence.

She looked confused as she took steps forward. Suddenly she felt something fly past her almost like a razor causing her to stop with wide eyes. She heard running footsteps and then they faded away. Raven gripped the clothing over her heart as her breathing accelerated. Her head turned slowly to the right to see a bright red X with one of the tips stuck deep into the wall.

She held in a scream and watched as the red X dissolved until; there was no trace of it. A thought entered into her mind, she could have been murdered. This caused her to take a couple steps back looking right and left cautiously. Her back collided into something making her scream out loud but then she felt a hand clamp over mouth. She struggled against who ever it was that gripped her.

"Raven! Calm down!" she heard a familiar voice whisper into her ear. Her eyebrows scrunched in confusion then felt the hand leave her mouth. She turned around and saw who it was.

"Beastboy?" she asked with confusion.

"Raven, why can't be walking around late at night!" he said causing her to scowl.

"You shouldn't be talking."

Beastboy only sighed and offered her his hand. She looked it hesitant whether to hold his hand or not. But before she could chose he had already grabbed her hand and was pulling her to the direction of her room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Taking you back to your room," he responded without looking back at her.

"I can do it myself," she ripped her hand away from his grip.

He looked at her then shook his head. "Fine, I guess you were serious about not being friends anymore."

"Beastboy, please, don't start this again, I told you why we can't. Just accept it!"

"It's stupid Raven! It's not a good enough reason to not be friends!"

"Yes it is, I can't look at you without feeling uncomfortable and ashamed."

"You think I don't feel that too!" he questioned angrily.

Raven stepped back, this was one of the few times he saw an angry Beastboy. "You need to understand that, or I'll be forced to leave."

"What!" Beastboy screamed. "Have you lost your mind!" he shouted.

Raven was about to respond when suddenly a door down the hall swished open. "Beastboy? Raven? Are you guys there?" it was Robin.

"Get in!" Raven pushed Beastboy into her room and heard her door close behind them.

"Raven?" they heard Robin's voice again.

Raven looked at Beastboy with fierce eyes. "You enjoy getting me into trouble, don't you?"

"I'm not the one who wanted to leave," he countered back.

"And I'm not the one who screamed!"

They stayed quiet for a couple of minutes until they were sure that Robin had left. A sudden grin crossed Beastboy's lips. "Just like old times…"

Raven let out a sigh. "Beastboy, go back to your room…" He looked at her quiet for a moment. "I guess, some things are left unsaid…"

Before Raven could question what he meant he turned away and left her room.

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Next Morning-

Everyone sat at the table eating breakfast. They had agreed on just milk and cereal not feeling in the mood for a feast. Starfire however argued this; Raven was going to finally meet them for the first time in months.

"Star, it's too early for a cake," Robin commented as he took a sip from his coffee.

"But, we need to celebrate her return!" she said.

Beastboy was seated at the couch facing away from the team. He knew Raven would appear any minute now. Last night he had seen her, that look she had as if she had seen a ghost. But after he left her room he went to investigate the wall there was nothing there except for a small whole. As if something sharp had been pushed into it. He didn't pay mind to it and continued on his way.

He could hear Robin trying to tell Starfire not to make cake this early. But since she was his girlfriend he gave up and let her make it.

Cyborg got up to grab some waffles and Terra was unusually quiet while she stared at her bowl of cereal. Her blue eyes had this far away look but the Titans didn't seem to notice.

The doors suddenly swished open and every Titan except for Beastboy and Terra jumped up with smiled on their features.

"Oh, friend Raven!" Starfire exclaimed and ran forward to give her a giant hug.

Raven wasn't one who enjoyed hugs but over the months Starfire and her had become closer friends so she returned the hug but not so it was noticeable.

"It's good to have you back," Robin nodded at her.

"It's my lil sis Rae Rae!" Cyborg exclaimed causing her to twitch.

"Never call me that again!" she shouted annoyed at the nickname he had given her.

"Aww! Same old Raven is back again!" he enveloped her in a big bear hug almost putting Starfire's to shame. Through it all Raven let a small smile slip onto her features.

After Cyborg had put her on the ground again she turned to see Beastboy in the same place he was when she had entered. She stayed quiet but was thankful. Terra as well stayed in the same place she was, Raven was even surprised that she didn't receive an angry glare from her.

At that moment Beastboy stood up from the couch he was sitting at and turned to face the Titans. He looked up into her violet eyes and could see so many emotions running though them. Slowly he walked up to her.

"Raven…" he said looking intently at her.

"Beastboy…" she responded back in a business like manner.

Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg looked at then with some confusion. Obviously there was something going on that they didn't know about.

There was an uncomfortable silence as they stood there.

……

………

"Sooooooooooooo!" Cyborg said breaking the silence. The Titans looked up at him. "How about… we go out for a picnic? You know, to relax and stuff…"

Robin shrugged while Starfire smiled and nodded. Terra finally looked up for the first time the whole morning.

Her face looked pale and she looked almost dead, it frightened them a little. "Terra? Are you all right?" Beastboy questioned with concern. She remained quiet but managed to look up at him and caught Raven's eye. Words didn't need to be said just by that simple look Raven could read her message. Don't Mess With Me.

"Terra?" he asked again and saw her slowly stand up.

"I'll take a rain check… I just want to rest…" She gave them a small smile then turned and walked to her room.

"… What just happened?" Cyborg questioned. Everyone stayed quiet.

"I'll go check on her," Beastboy said then ran after her disappearing behind the doors. Raven felt something inside her clench tightly when she saw how concerned he looked for Terra. She held in her breath and shook her head. She ended whatever there was between them, if there was even anything at all.

"So… anyone still up for the picnic?" Cyborg asked with some hope.

"I'll take a rain check too," Robin said then left to his room.

Cyborg let out a sigh. "Star?…"

"Umm… I would like one of these 'rain checks' Robin speaks of."

His shoulders dropped then turned to Raven who was about to speak but he held up his hand. "No, no, no need to say anything. I bet you want a rain check too, huh?"

Raven nodded silently seeing the disappointment on his features.

"It's not even raining!" he exclaimed, obviously trying to make a joke but no one laughed.

"Cy—"

"Can you guys give me a break? All I'm trying to do is get us all happy again and stop mopping around! But you want rain checks! This is bull! Can you blame a guy for trying!" he exclaimed shocking Starfire and Raven who both felt so small.

"But friend, Terra, she is sick and we cannot—"

"Whatever…" Cyborg muttered incoherent words and stomped out of Tower.

Starfire frowned and dropped onto her seat. Raven was about to leave to her own room when Starfire stopped her. "Please… I do not wish to be alone…"

"But, Robin?"

"He has chosen to be alone, I have to respect his decision."

Raven nodded and took a seat next to Starfire but not uttering a single word.

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

"Do you still love him?"

Raven was shocked by this questioned but kept it well hidden. Her expression was emotionless and acted as if she didn't hear her question.

"Do you still love him?" Starfire repeated her question a little louder.

"…Why are you asking me this?"

"I just want an answer…"

"Starfire… some things are best left unsaid."

"But surely you can't have given up on him?"

"Give up on him? There was nothing for me to give up on. We never became anything. Now our friendship doesn't even exist."

"You are not friends!"

"We had a minor detour; we can't be friends anymore."

"If you do not mind me asking, why? What has happened?" Starfire looked into her violet eyes sensing regret and fear.

Raven sighed and bit her lip. "I can't tell you, at least not know. This is between me and Beastboy."

Starfire sighed. "Raven people may think I am too naïve, but I know when there is something going on. You can trust me, remember?"

"Starfire, I completely trust you but I just can't tell you, it's personal."

"… Then I will not press the matter anymore…" Starfire got up from where she sat, her head was low and she sadly walked away.

She knew she was going to regret this. "Wait."

Starfire stopped in her tracks. "Yes?"

"Promise me you won't tell anyone…"

Starfire nodded. "I promise," she sat back down and waited.

Raven sighed then looked up. "It all started when Beastboy would secretly meet me in my room…"

Flashback-

"I'm sorry I hurt you…I was stupid! I don't want to lose your friendship…please forgive me," he said while still embracing her. Raven let her eyes look down for a moment then she looked up at him and saw that he was waiting for her reply.

"Beastboy…I…"

"Please Raven…" he repeated. There was a brief silent before she spoke again.

"…I… forgive you…" she whispered and closed her eyes. Raven then felt fingers slowly wipe away her tears. She had to admit she loved it when he did that, it felt as if he could wipe away her pain.

"You know I love you, right?" he asked as his eyes searched hers. This made Raven's eyes go wide, did she hear right?

"You love me?" she asked disbelievingly. No, he has to be lying! I mean, he can't, no…

"Of course, you're my best friend," he replied. That's when it hit her…he loved her as a best friend it was just strong friendship not romantic feelings. She was so stupid to believe he loved her for real! She hated herself at this moment she couldn't help but let more tears fall. She was beautifully broken…

End Flashback.

"That is so sweet of him!" Starfire said with a smile.

"Yes, but he only loves me as a friend?"

"…"

"Anyway, the next day happened like this. Beastboy came to tell me of his day, he was always smiling, speaking about smiles…"

Flashback-

"You should smile more…" he suddenly said causing her smile to vanish and to turn away. "I just screwed up didn't I?"

"No…"

"Come on Rae, I like it when you smile," he said looking at her face.

"Beastboy…"

"Smile…" he said in a singsong tone. God, did he still have to be so immature. But then again his humor and happiness is one the things that made her love him.

"No…"

"Come on, you can do it. Just turn that frown upside down," he said with a grin.

"Do you have to joke now?"

"To cheesy, huh?"

"…Yes…"

"That's cold…"

"What do you expect from me?"

"A smile…"

"Beastboy…"

"It won't hurt I promise!"

"You're so stubborn!" she exclaimed and glared at him.

"Then I'll do it for you," he grinned then placed his fingers next to the end of her lips and tried to 'turn that frown upside down'. Raven felt herself burn inside, she wanted to smile but it was already embarrassing enough.

End Flashback

Starfire let out a small giggle. "He attempted to make you smile?"

Raven let a small smile slip. "He did, but of course I ruined everything again, I told him to go. But right before he left Robin picked the perfect time to check up on me."

Starfire was curious. "Did he see him?"

"He hid in the bathroom," Raven bit her lip. "But then something happened…"

Flashback-

"Raven?" Beastboy questioned looking nervous. "Are you okay!" he was now frantic. "What's happening!"

Raven could feel her tears flow down her cheeks. She was gasping for air, this was new to her; she had never felt immense pain before. Her whole body was collapsing under the pressure. Beastboy didn't know what to do he began to carry her but she stopped.

"No! This—will—pass," she said through pain.

"I have to take you to the hospital I can't leave you like this!" he exclaimed. Fear was evident in his eyes.

"No! Please, promise me you won't tell anyone about this!" she shouted. Her face showed anguish as he held her close.

"But—"

"Promise me!" she cried in agony, her tears staining his uniform.

End Flashback

"I think I had a… a heart attack…"

"What! You should have gone to the hospital! You should have told Robin and Beastboy he should have told us! Raven we must take you know before your conditions worsens!" Starfire exclaimed with fear.

"No Starfire, there is no need for me to go to the hospital anymore."

"But—"

"I'm fine, really… I was already saved…."

"Saved? I do not understand."

Raven sighed then she began to explain. "What I'm about to tell you, you have to never tell anyone," she looked up at Starfire who nodded. "It was another night and Beastboy came by like always only this time things were different and everything from then on changed between us…"

Flashback-

"Beastboy, I need you to forget me, this is my decision. I can't go on like this," she whispered.

"What do you mean you can't go on like this?" he questioned and that was the moment that she turned around so quickly it made him step back and almost fall.

"This!" she shouted at him pointing to her tears that she despised. He looked at her with shock he had never seen her cry with such anger. "You did this to me!" she screamed at him taking a step forward to him and all he could do was stand still in shock. "You brought me so much pain! You made me suffer! You caused me my tears!" she cried.

He was speechless. All he could do was stare at her. Raven, the girl who was supposed to be strong was breaking down harder than ever before. That's when her words hit him. He caused her tears?

"I caused your tears?" he said before he could stop himself. Raven came closer to him pure fury on her beautiful features.

"Yes! It was you! Only you!" she shouted. She felt herself going crazy. But she felt she had to say it before she went officially crazy… before she died. She needed to pour out her true feelings to him whether he wanted to hear it or not. Whether he accepted it or not.

End Flashback

Starfire was quiet for a moment. "You mean your love for him?"

"Yes," Raven looked down at her folded hands on the table. "What happened next wasn't planned it was just an impulse of action…"

Flashback-

"Did you forget all those times I showed you care? Did you forget all those times I wiped your tears away!" he shouted at her. His hands were now gripping her shoulders almost shaking her. How could she say he made her suffer!

"No! And that's exactly what made me suffer!" she spat back. She couldn't believe they were arguing but this was meant to happen…somehow…

A cold silence drifted between them, only their heavy breathing was heard. Their body's only inches apart, their lips only inches apart. Her eyes bore into his and his stared deep into her own.

Suddenly without warning their lips collided against each other. A shock spread throughout both their bodies at this touch. Before she knew it their lips were moving together in a passionate kiss almost desperate for one another. Raven's arms had wrapped around his neck and his around her back bringing her close to his body.

She couldn't believe what was happening. Beastboy and her were kissing. And it wasn't some innocent kiss. It was a passionate one. Almost as if all they were holding inside had escaped in that kiss. But that's when she realized he didn't love her. He was probably only feeling passion and lust not love. This caused her eyes to let tears fall.

End Flashback-

"You kissed!" Starfire exclaimed a smile forming on her lips. "Oh that is wonderful!"

Raven sighed. "Yes we kissed… but…"

Flashback-

Raven then pushed him away and slapped him very hard. He looked at her with shock. Did she just slap him? God that hurt!

"Don't kiss me if you don't mean it!" she shouted. "Don't use me, I don't want to feel that again…" she trailed off. She wasn't going to let her dignity go. She knew he loved Terra and that kiss was only in the heat of the moment. He only looked at her as a best friend not someone he could truly love.

"No, Raven it wasn't like that. I'm not going to use you," he tried to say hoping she would accept it. Because it was true…

"Don't lie to me!" she shouted. "Don't you understand!" her voice cracking as she spoke due to her trying to keep in her cries. She paused and looked deep into his eyes almost as if daring him to speak. But he didn't.

Raven sat on her bed and turned away from him, not wanting to see him anymore. She closed her eyes and whispered. "I love you…" before she could stop herself, they had already come out. Now what was going to happen? He probably hated her right now.

End Flashback-

"… You told him you love him?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"… He said… he said he loved me too…" at this point Raven couldn't hide the fact that her eyes were beginning to form tears.

"That is good, please, why are you sad. Love is supposed to be a joyous thing not a feeling that causes tears," Starfire looked at her with concern.

Raven let out a breath she had been holding in. "What happened next changed everything…"

Flashback-

He caught her lips in a kiss making her heart jump. Deep inside she felt her heart was healing… was this kiss the kiss that saved her? Was it because they both meant what they said? It was because they both loved each other. True love. Not friendship anymore…

She felt him kiss her lips and she kissed back with love. Her arms encircled his neck and soon she felt her body being lowered onto the bed; her long violet hair pooled around her making her look more beautiful. He kissed her cheek trailing gentle kisses down her neck making her sigh. His lips found hers once more and they continued to show their affection. Her fingers laced in his hair as she kissed him, their lips moving together not so innocent anymore.

Soon their kisses turned passionate and they both knew what was going to happen. This thought sent shivers down Raven's spine. She loved him enough to let this continue. He loved her and it was all that mattered. Slowly her pain was going away making her feel bliss and free. Her emotions had finally got out. No longer were they under her skin. She knew his touch was what could save her.

Raven opened her violet eyes and stared into his emerald green eyes. She lovingly cupped his face with her hands and spoke softly. "Save me…" And he did.

End Flashback

Starfire stared at her with wide eyes. "You… and Beastboy… you both…"

Raven blushed so deeply she could feel the heat in her cheeks. "It was a mistake Starfire. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did."

"Raven, clearly there is something going on, I mean you can't have just done what you have done without both of you feeling something."

"Oh, I felt something."

"Huh?"

Raven blushed. "Forget it, I just can't be friends with him anymore. He's still with Terra, he cheated on her with me, and it was all my fault!"

"I agree that what you both did is terrible. But you cannot just ignore it! What if—what if—"

"What if what?"

"What if you are bearing a child…"

At those words Raven's mouth dropped open. "No! Starfire don't jinx it!"

"Jinx? She is here!"

"No, just, I can't be pregnant," She said in a whisper incase anyone would walk in.

"Raven you never know, I think you should check."

"I'm fine. I haven't experienced any symptoms a pregnant women would have."

Raven sat still while Starfire was silent. "Please? Just check."

"No, I am not. And what can I do? Walk into some store and go 'Um, I need to buy a pregnancy test because obviously I slept with someone' I can't jut go in there and buy one! I'm a Titan! And if I just waltz in there the media would have a field day!"

"Then I will get it for you," Starfire offered.

"What? No I can't let you do that. They would write rumors about you and Robin."

"But Robin and I are together, so it is not as bad. You do not have a companion; all the males in our team are involved with someone. It is best if I go."

"Starfire I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm the one who slept with Beastboy!" Raven screamed then her eyes widen.

"The hell!" someone shouted causing both girls to quickly look towards the door. "What kind of crap friendship do you have with Beastboy! FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!"

"Robin, please do not make a scene!" Starfire pleaded as she watched Robin fume with anger.

"Make a scene! I'm sorry Starfire but finding out something like this isn't an added sunshine to my day!" he turned towards Raven. "Raven start explaining, now."

"This wasn't meant for everyone to know!" Raven exclaimed.

"I'm sorry for barging in to your private conversation!" Robin said harshly.

"Robin!" Starfire shouted.

"Starfire you can't be defending her! Do you have any idea what she did? How bad this is?"

"We can all talk in a quiet place, and give explanations."

"Oh, I will get an explanation," he turned towards Raven. "I thought you were smarter than that Raven."

Before she could speak someone came running into the living room.

"Raven! Terra needs your help!" Beastboy shouted frantically.

Robin cast a look at Raven who stood quiet. "What's wrong with her?"

"She has a high fever and she's been vomiting to much."

"Where is she?"

"In her room," Raven nodded and followed Beastboy. Robin and Starfire followed suit.

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Terra was asleep in her bed and her face still with that pale color. Slowly Raven stepped forward and hesitantly put her hand on her forehead.

She felt an intense heat radiated off her skin. "This is bad, she needs to go to a hospital," Raven informed them. Beastboy's concern grew.

"But Cyborg has taken the T-car! We have no mode of transportation!" Starfire exclaimed.

"I can teleport us," Raven said as she lowered her hood exposing her face.

"Can you? All four of us?" Robin questioned. "It would take to much of your energy, I don't know."

Raven sighed then nodded. "I'll risk it, we can't leave Terra here, she needs professional help."

"But what if you can't?" Beastboy questioned. He knew Raven would use up a lot of energy to take all four of them. She herself could pass out before getting Terra there.

Robin thought for a moment. "You take Terra to the Hospital Raven, Beastboy can fly there, while Starfire and I go on my R- cycle."

"All right then," Raven took hold of Terra's hands and concentrated on the place she needed to go to. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Within seconds she and Terra disappeared.

"Come on!" Beastboy shouted and he Robin and Starfire ran out of the room.

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Cyborg was now reaching into his fast food bag to pull out a cheeseburger. He licked his lips and almost drooled for the sandwich.

"Aww yeah! Triple cheeseburger meet stomach! Stomach meet heaven!" he munched down.

"Sparky! Leave some for me!" Bumblebee exclaimed and grabbed the sandwich from his hands.

"Hey hey! I already bought you a taco!" he saw the empty wrapper. "You ate it already?"

"You're not the only one with a big appetite," she smirked at him.

He smiled and put an arm around her. "You know what Bumblebee? I can see the beginning of a beautiful relationship."

Suddenly he saw the R-cycle rush pass them and Beastboy the form of an eagle flying above them with great speed.

"Sparky? Isn't that your friends?" she asked.

"Something's up and they didn't bother telling me!" he let out a disappointed sigh. "We're following them, put your seatbelt on Bee."

"Wait- what about- AHH!" the T-car suddenly started at great speed causing her to scream. "Slow down!"

"Sorry, I need to find out what's wrong—" his communicator suddenly began to beep and he brought up his arm to see who it was. "ROBIN, NEXT TIME TELL ME WHEN THERE'S TROUBLE!"

Robin sighed obviously not wanting to start a fight. "Cyborg, get to the hospital as fast as you can! Terra's sick!"

"Now you tell me!" he exclaimed.

"We'll meet you there," Robin closed the communicator.

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And I stop here, sorry guys. Now let's recap about what happened, shall we? Obviously Red X tried to hurt Raven. Raven told Starfire what happened between her and Beastboy, and Robin overheard. Something's wrong with Terra and Cyborg was on a date with Bumblebee. It's getting juicy again! I can see the end is near!

The story is about to end. Probably 3 more chapters? Not sure. Anyway I think I will write a sequel. That is if people still want it. Anyway, I'll try to put up the next chapter in a week or so.

Also I want too ask you guys. Which Harry Potter pairings do you like? I like Ron/Herm. Ginny/Harry. I don't ship Draco/Herm but I enjoy reading it. I've been writing stories about Harry Potter so that was another reason I was gone.

Much Love. Peace. Review!

RaventhePortal