The first of April was Fred and George's birthday. It rained--poured, really-which was wasn't all that surprising, but the dreary weather didn't bother Fred and George in the least.
It was a Saturday, which meant the twins were working, but they'd have the following day off, when we would all be going over to the Burrow for a party.
I already had Sundays off, but Tom and Martha had been nice enough to give me this particular Saturday off as well so I could spend the day with the twins on their actual birthday.
I went over to the shop early, just before they were about to open. I knocked on the back door-three quick knocks, two slow ones, a two second pause, and then one more knock. It had been Fred's idea and it was how the twins always knew it was me. Apparently, Katie had her own special knock, too. Everyone else, according to the twins, could use the front door like they were supposed to.
After I'd knocked, Fred let me inside and I greeted him with a kiss.
"Happy Birthday!" I said with a smile as Fred turned and shut the door behind me. "How old are you now?" I asked, pulling the hood of my raincoat off of my head. "Seven?"
"Ha, very funny," Fred answered, turning away from the door and back towards me.
"Can I go put my stuff upstairs?" I asked, gesturing to my coat and the bag I'd used to carry a change of clothes for tomorrow, my camera, and also Fred's birthday gift, as well as a few other surprises l'd brought.
"Yeah, go on," Fred said, gesturing towards the stairs. "Katie's already up there. She said she had to get some work done for her next article."
I smiled. Katie was a writer for the sports section of the Daily Prophet, just like Lee was. But I currently knew something Fred didn't-she wasn't upstairs working right now. It had just been an excuse to cover up what she and I had been planning together-a surprise party for the twins.
"Be back soon," I said, leaning up for one more quick kiss before heading for the stairs. I took them as quickly as possible without making it seem like I was in too much of a hurry. That could've potentially given something away to Fred.
I hurriedly let myself into the flat and turned to shut the door behind me. I even locked it for good measure so that Fred and George couldn't get back on without us hearing them rattling the doorknob.
"It's about time," Katie said from behind me.
I turned to see her standing in the middle of the room, the ends of a bunch of brightly colored neon steamers hanging into her face. Her arms were stretched above her as she held her wand up, trying to hang the streamers by magic. But she kept getting distracted by the way they dangled back in her face.
I laughed and went over to help her, using my own wand to lift the dangling ends of the steamers and finish hanging them properly.
"There's even more streamers now than we had for your engagement party," I said. "And Fred had bought a lot then."
"Serves him right," Katie said. "There were streamers everywhere and I was still finding confetti in my hair the next morning. Speaking of..." She reached into her bag and pulled out two bags of confetti. "There's two more in there, can you grab them?"
"Two more?" I asked with a laugh.
She nodded. "Yeah, I bought double the confetti as well."
"You must have had to put some kind of impressive undetectable enlargement charm on this bag to be able to hide all of this stuff," I said, sliding my arm into her bag. It went in all the way up to my shoulder as I dug around for the confetti.
"I felt like I needed to double the amount of decorations that you and Fred used for the engagement party," she said. "We are celebrating two birthdays after all."
"But it also takes two people to get engaged," I pointed out.
"Shush," Katie said with a laugh as she rigged the confetti up above the door and put a timer charm on it so that it would spill only when the door opened after six-thirty that night. The shop closed at six and usually the twins spent some time finishing closing up downstairs before coming up to the flat. This way, Katie be able to leave the flat ourselves to go back downstairs once we were done decorating. And then we could be sure to be the first ones back up here around six-thirty, but not a moment later.
We hung up balloons all over the flat, including in the kitchen, the bathroom and in both twins' rooms. We even hung up any extra streamers we were left with as well.
I had been in charge of getting not only the balloons, but also party hats, which had all been safely tucked away in my bag, buried underneath my change of clothes for tomorrow and the gifts I'd bought for the twins. But I'd also taken it upon myself to go out and buy a banner to hang up in the same spot over the fireplace as the one we'd used for George and Katie.
I could hardly contain my giggles as I pulled the banner out of my bag and started to unfold it.
"What did you do?" Katie asked me slowly, crossing her arms and laughing as she watched me unfold the banner. Once I was done, I smirked and held it up so she could see it.
It's a Girl!
Katie clapped both of her hands over her mouth as she let out a laugh, her eyes squeezing shut as she did so.
"That's brilliant!" She cried. "They're going to absolutely faint."
"Help me hang it up?" I asked.
The two of us managed to hang the banner up a lot straighter than Fred had hung the last one, and we had even managed to do it through our constant laughter.
Once we were done, we cleaned up whatever mess we had left and went back down to the shop. The back room was empty, so we headed out to the store front, which was crowded with people buying products to use on their friends and family throughout the day.
Fred and George were nowhere in sight. Katie wandered off in one direction and I headed up the spiral staircase to check the second level. Even if the twins weren't there, I'd be able to see the lower level better from up there.
Once I'd reached the top, I rested my forearms on the railing as I leaned against it, searching the shop below me. Finally, I located Fred. He was just to the left of the center of the shop, where the Pygmy puffs were. He was crouched down, pointing to one of the crates as he talked to a little girl who couldn't have been much older than six.
I watched as he opened the latch of the small crate that the Pygmy puff was in, gently reached inside, and pulled out the tiny ball of pink fluff. He gently stroked the Pygmy puff behind the ears as he kept talking to the little girl. Finally, he held the small creature out to her and I could tell he'd asked if she wanted to pet it. Hesitantly, she reached out a hand and Fred kept gently encouraging her until her tiny hand came into contact with the light pink fur. She beamed and turned to look at her mother happily. She said something to her, and her mother looked hesitant for a moment as she glanced at Fred, who smiled and shrugged. Finally, the mother looked at her daughter and nodded. The girl clapped her hands in excitement and Fred stood to put the Pygmy puff back in its crate. He then pulled the crate off the shelf and handed it to the little girl with a smile before he turned to her mother and began talking to her, reaching out to pull a few items off the shelves beside him that they would need to take care of the Pygmy Puff. And finally, the mother and daughter both thanked Fred and headed for the register.
I smiled as I watched the whole thing. Once the girl and her mother were gone, Fred watched them go with a smile for a bit before he sighed and raked a hand through his hair. The shop hadn't been open for long, but they were clearly already terribly busy.
I pulled out my wand and smiled to myself as I shot a short, well aimed stream of water at Fred's head. It collided with his cheek and he jumped slightly, clapping his hand to his face before looking around. His eyes finally traveled upwards and scanned the second level until he saw me. His expression melted into a smile as I grinned down at him and waved. He blew me a kiss in return before pulling out his own wand and sending a stream of water back at me. I giggled and ducked, but the water still grazed the side of my neck.
The twins were extremely busy all day. The crowd level never seemed to decrease and even Lee stopped in for a few hours in the afternoon to help manage things.
Katie and I spent some time restocking shelves after quite a few products had dwindled significantly-some shelves had even been emptied completely. Lee and Verity handled ringing people up at the register and Fred and George were busy helping customers.
"So much for spending their birthday with them," I muttered to Katie towards the end of the day as I was restocking the trick wands.
She shrugged from beside me, where she was tackling the trick flowers-like the ones Fred had given me for Valentine's Day.
"We all knew they'd be busy today. They always are. I don't think I've really spent a full birthday with George since we were at Hogwarts. It hasn't fallen on a Sunday yet since they've opened their shop because in that case, they'd be closed for the day." She glanced at me with a smile and shrugged. "It's not so bad, though. You get used to it. At least being here in the same building with them is better than not being here at all. And we have tonight and tomorrow with them, so it all works out." She finished arranging the flowers on the shelf before picking up the now empty box they had been in and turning to me as she held the box against her hip. "Besides, I'm really proud of what they've done. They wanted this for so long. I don't think I have the right to complain about it."
"Right, I get that," I said, finishing restocking the trick wands and turning to Katie. "I'm proud of them, too. And impressed. And sometimes bewildered by them." I let out a breath of laughter and shook my head. "But even I can tell how much of themselves they've poured into this place. It's amazing, and I would never want or expect them to give it up."
Katie smiled and let out a sigh as she looked around. "Looks like things are winding down. It's almost time to close." She looked at me with a knowing smile. "And almost time for Operation Confetti."
I grinned. "I'll be sure to have my camera ready."
Katie and I hung around a bit longer downstairs as the shop closed and Fred and George began cleaning and locking up.
"Thanks for your help today," Fred said as he locked the front door and turned towards me with a smile. "It really made a difference, believe me."
I smiled and reached up to lovingly run a hand through his hair. "Don't mention it, birthday boy."
Fred reached out and slid his hands down my arms until he reached my own hands. He took them in his as he continued to stare at me.
"The one downside was that I hardly got to see you all day," he whispered.
"Mm," I said, slowly nodding my head. "That is true. But we have all night. And all day tomorrow."
Fred sighed wistfully and closed his eyes. "Mum's making blueberry pie tomorrow. I've been practically drooling over it all day in anticipation."
"Okay," I said slowly, a teasing note in my voice as I giggled. "I thought we were talking about me and you. And then you started drooling over pie."
"You're the one who said you wanted to eat nothing but chicken pot pie, apple pie and chocolate cream pie until you were full of it," Fred laughed.
"And you told me that according to your mother, I was going to turn into a pie if I did that," I said.
"Has that happened yet?" Fred asked.
"Not that I'm aware of," I giggled.
"I think I'd better find out for sure," Fred whispered, leaning closer.
His lips were only an inch or two away from mine and he hesitated, a teasing smirk on his face as he waited for my reaction.
"I guess you'd better," I whispered.
Fred leaned in the rest of the way and pressed his lips to mine. He pulled away from me just slightly and screwed his face up in thought before kissing me again.
"Nope," he whispered, pulling away a second time. "You're still you. No pie."
"How disappointing," I said dryly as Fred laughed.
"Sophie!" Katie's voice called me from the back of the shop. "I think I lost an earring upstairs in the flat while I was working earlier. Will you come help me look for it?"
I smiled slightly, but tried to hide it from Fred and keep a straight face as I answered. "I'll be right there!" I called back before turning to look at Fred.
"Go on," he said, releasing his hold on my waist and tilting his head towards the back of the shop. "George and I will be along in a minute."
I smiled and leaned up to quickly kiss his cheek before heading towards the back. I managed to keep my strides at a walk until I'd entered the back room where Katie was already waiting. And then we both began scurrying for the stairs, stifling laughter behind our hands as we went.
We let ourselves into the flat and shut the door quickly behind us before turning to survey the living room.
I smiled as I saw the group of people assembled in the flat. Lee had snuck back upstairs earlier instead of leaving after lunchtime like Fred and George had told him he could. Allie was there too, along with Rachel and Kayla. Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Alicia were there and so were Angelina and Oliver. Lee had helped them all sneak in through the back while Fred and George had been busy. They had all brought some kind of snack or drink with them and set them up on the table while they were waiting. Altogether, there was a pretty impressive selection.
"You two really went all out on the decorations, didn't you?" Rachel asked from where she was lounging in an armchair, looking up at the streamer and balloon covered ceiling.
"And what's with the banner?" Kayla asked. She had already cracked open a firewhiskey and she took a long sip from it as she stared between me and Katie. "Anything either-or both-of you would like to share?"
"No, it's a joke," Katie said, reaching for a firewhiskey and passing it to me before taking one of her own. "When George and I got engaged, Fred bought a banner that said Happy First Birthday. It was the only one left-or so he claims. But even when he tried to change it to read Happy Engagement, he went and fucked it up." She laughed and rolled her eyes.
"It ended up saying Happy First Engagement," I said. "Fred procrastinated on fixing it and didn't have time to finish it."
Just then, we heard Fred and George coming up the stairs to the flat. Their footsteps sounded against the wood of the steps and their voices floated through the air from beyond the door.
"Okay, get ready," Katie whispered as a hush fell over the room. I grabbed my camera, holding it ready to snap a picture once Fred and George came into the room and were covered in confetti.
We heard them stop outside the door and fall quiet, except for the sound of a few hushed whispers.
"What are they doing?" Kayla asked. "Can't they hurry up? I was promised I'd see confetti dumped on Fred and George's heads and I intend to see just that."
"Shh," Rachel shushed her.
"Hey, Katie?" George's voice suddenly called from the other side of the door. "Would you by chance be able to open the door for us? Our hands are full. We've brought up some things from the shop we want to store up here for the time being."
"Um...no," Katie called back slowly.
"Why not?" George called back teasingly.
"I just...can't," she answered.
"Sophie, what about you?" Fred asked.
"Can't," I called back immediately, shaking my head, even though Fred couldn't see me. "My hands are full!"
Katie shot me a look as if to say Seriously? And I shrugged in response. My excuse was better than hers by a mile.
"Uh-huh," Fred said from the other side of the door. "The only thing you're full of right now is complete and utter shit." He laughed. "Why don't you take down the confetti from the door and let us in?"
"Damnit," Katie muttered, but Lee gestured to her by waving his hand around. She turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. "What?" She hissed.
"Just take down one," he whispered, gesturing to the four bags we had planted above the door.
Katie looked at me and we both smirked before Katie adjusted the charm over the confetti so that it wouldn't spill on her. Then, she went to the door and removed one single bag of confetti. "How'd you two guess?" She asked the twins through the door as she worked.
"Do you realize who you're dealing with?" Fred asked. "Besides, we realized there was no way you'd let me get away without getting bombarded with confetti after what happened in February."
"I guess you're right," Katie sighed, pretending to be disappointed as she stepped away from the door and reset the charms over the confetti. She turned and sent the rest of us a smile as she tried to stifle her laughter. "Okay, come on in. I took down the confetti."
"All of it?" George asked.
"Yes," Katie answered before lowering her voice to a whisper. "All of one bag."
I let out a snort of laughter.
"Thank you!" George sing-songed cheerfully. The door opened and the twins stepped into the room. The moment they did, the remaining bags of confetti instantly spilled all over them, covering them in hundreds of little pieces of shiny paper. On cue, I held up my camera and snapped a photo.
Kayla clapped and let out a whoop. "Good show!" She cried.
I couldn't help but giggle as Fred and George looked up at me and Katie in shock, their eyes widening as they took in the rest of the decorations and the other guests. They hadn't seemed able to really notice the banner yet, but I knew they would soon.
Katie held up the one bag of confetti she'd removed from above the door. "I told you the truth," she said innocently. "I did take down the confetti. All of it. All of this bag. I didn't say anything about the other three!"
"Oh, you are dead, Katie Bell!" George cried. He lunged for Katie and she shrieked as she ran away and tried to dodge him, threatening him with the one last bag of confetti in her hands.
Meanwhile, Fred was still looking at me in astonishment.
"Surprise?" I offered with a guilty shrug as I looked at him.
"If you weren't holding your camera, I'd be chasing after you, too," Fred said as he came over to me. "I know how much you'd hate me if it broke. So you get off easy tonight." He smiled. "Next time you might not be so lucky."
I smiled and shrugged again as I reached up and pulled some confetti out of Fred's hair. "Its all over you," I giggled.
"That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Fred chuckled.
"More or less," I replied, nodding my head.
Once Fred and George had gotten over the shock of the confetti, they got around to greeting everyone and thanking us for the birthday wishes and for the party.
"It was mostly Katie and Sophie," Rachel said.
"Well, you've really made it a great birthday," Fred said, lightly shoving my shoulder as he grinned at me. He turned to everyone else as George opened a firewhiskey and passed it him. "All of you. So, thanks."
"Birthday?" Kayla asked, feigning ignorance. "Is that what this party is for?" She shrugged and took a sip of her drink. "I thought that one of you two were going to be a father."
Fred and George simultaneously choked on their drinks. "What?" They spluttered, swiping the backs of their hands across their chins.
Kayla pointed to the banner hanging above the fireplace. "It's a Girl," she said innocently. A devious smile spread across her lips. "So?" She teased. "Which one of you is it?"
Fred and George went from staring open mouthed at the banner to staring open mouthed at each other.
"It's not me!" They said together. "It has to be you!" And then they both turned to look at me and Katie with wide eyes.
"Relax," I laughed. "It's neither of you." I gave Fred a teasing smirk as I raised my drink to my lips. "I meant to get a Happy Birthday banner, but this was all they had left." I shrugged innocently.
"And we had no time to fix it," Katie added dramatically.
Fred and George both let out sighs of relief. "Thank Merlin," Fred said, clapping George on the shoulder. "Mum would kill us."
"Yeah," George breathed out, letting out a short laugh.
"And you don't think Tom would kill me?" I asked.
"No, Tom would kill me!" Fred cried. "He and Mum would have to duel it out to see who would get to finish me off."
"Well, you don't have to worry," I said with a smile. "I'm not planning on becoming a mother."
A strange look flitted across Fred's face for just a split second before it was gone and he had let out a breath of laughter and nodded. He raised his drink to his lips and took a long sip before shaking his head as if he were clearing water from his ears.
"Come on," I laughed. "I didn't think you'd get this panicked over it. I thought you'd realize the joke almost right away."
"You can't just scare me like that," he laughed. "That's some big news to find out for the first time in front of a bunch of people at what you think is your birthday party."
"It is your birthday party," I said. "And I promise, there are no more surprises."
"See, I love surprises," Fred said. "I just don't always expect them from you."
"You underestimate me, then," I whispered, looking up at him with a smile.
Fred chuckled and pressed a kiss to my temple. "I'll have to work on not doing that."
"I should say so," I replied.
Across the room, Kayla had turned up the volume on the radio and started bouncing up and down wildly. "It's time to get this party started!" She announced.
I turned my head into Fred's chest and giggled. Despite Kayla's antics, I couldn't have agreed with her more.
The party was some of the most fun I'd ever had. It lasted well into the night and included food, drinks, birthday cake and gifts. I'd told Fred I'd give him my gift later and he looked at me suggestively as I scoffed and told him to get his mind out of the gutter.
For the first time since I'd been in London, I let myself slightly loosen the control I'd always had on how much I had to drink until I was at the point of feeling like everything was perfect and that nothing else mattered. Not my past, not Fred's past, none of it. It felt like none of it had even happened.
I'd always restrained myself to one drink-or even less. Usually less, in fact-when I'd first shown up here. I knew I couldn't afford to ever be off my guard in any way. Besides, I had been almost afraid of alcohol, given how badly Eric always behaved when he was drunk, in addition to the incident when I'd been at school where I'd thrown up on the front stairway and nearly gotten expelled.
Now, however, I knew what control felt like. I was nowhere near as rigid as I had been. I could now afford to have some fun in my life and I was surrounded by people who were looking out for me. People who would keep me safe-not intentionally get me drunk and leave me somewhere to fend for myself. I felt happy, and most importantly, I felt safe.
"You're going to wake up with a hangover tomorrow," Fred pointed out later, once everyone else had gone home. We were cleaning up the kitchen while George and Katie tackled the living room.
"Can't wait," I sighed, my voice coming out hoarse. I wondered if tonight was the most I'd even used my voice in years. Between the talking, laughing, and even singing that took place. We'd purposely sang Happy Birthday to Fred and George as terribly and as out of tune as we could and at some point in the night, I'd even found myself animatedly singing along to a song on the radio with Rachel and Kayla, using a spoon as a microphone and jumping around the room. I couldn't even believe I'd done that. But I supposed it was reassuring to know that I was a fun drunk, as opposed to Eric, who was downright mean.
"Don't feel too badly about it," Fred said. "We're all going to wake up hungover. George and I have some hangover cure potions in the bathroom cabinet if you need them."
"Thanks," I said, rubbing the heel of my hand against my temple.
Fred laughed quietly from behind me. When I turned to look at him in confusion, he smiled. "You know, it's not that you aren't fun when you're sober, but drunk Sophie is pretty entertaining."
I smiled back and shook my head in disbelief. "You're just saying that because you enjoyed me singing along to the Weird Sisters with Rachel and Kayla."
"That's exactly why I'm saying that," Fred laughed. He turned and leaned backwards against the counter as he continued to smile at me. "You've really opened up since you've been here-especially in the last few months alone. But it was nice seeing you completely uninhibited."
He stumbled on his words a bit trying to say uninhibited, adding a few two many B's, causing me to dissolve into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.
"Unin-hibby-biddy-ted?" I asked, imitating him through my laughter. "Is that what you said?" I giggled harder as I leaned against the counter and squinted up at him. "Un-hinny-binny-beted?"
"Shut up," Fred groaned. "It's late, I'm tired, and I'm still half drunk."
"I'm not half drunk," I giggled, hiccupping slightly. "I'm fine." I momentarily lost my balance and wobbled slightly, but I managed to catch myself against the counter at the same time that Fred reached out and caught my arm, letting go when he realized I wasn't going to fall down completely.
"Sure," he said with a roll of his eyes. "You really look like you're fine."
I giggled again. "And you really sound like you're fine," I said, resting my head on the counter as I began giggling uncontrollably. "Un-hinny-binny-beted," I repeated through my giggles.
"Okay, Soph," Fred sighed. "Come on." He slid one arm under my legs and the other around my waist as he picked me up and carried me towards his room, announcing to George and Katie over his shoulder that he was taking me to bed.
"Great party, Katie!" I called to her, holding my arm out and wiggling my fingers at her.
"You helped plan it too, so same to you!" She called back, sticking out her own arm and wiggling her fingers back at me. Clearly, she was also still half-drunk.
"Bloody hell," I heard George mutter to her. "Put your arm down and finish helping me clean. I know we aren't going to want to do it in the morning."
I laughed again as Fred pushed open the door to his room and brought me inside.
"You decorated in here, too?" He asked. "The living room, kitchen, and bathroom weren't enough?"
"No," I laughed as Fred set me down on his desk chair. I swatted at a balloon and giggled again as I tugged on the string and pulled it into my hands. Fred rolled his eyes at me in amusement before he began his usual ritual of grabbing both of us something to wear to bed.
I continued fiddling with the balloon in silence for a bit, until Fred finally took it from me with a laugh as he tossed me one of his sweaters. He bounced the balloon against the top of my head before letting it go, allowing it to return to it's spot hovering against the ceiling.
"My balloon," I sighed sadly, stretching my arm out for it.
"Merlin, Soph," Fred laughed, "it's like you become an eight year old when you're drunk."
"You're an eight year old all the time, so I've got to balance you out," I whispered, leaning my head back against the chair as I lowered my arm and continued to gaze up at the balloon.
Fred rolled his eyes again and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "Go on, get changed," he whispered. A slow smirk appeared on his face as he pulled away. "If you need help, I could always do it for you."
"I can do it," I insisted, frowning and swatting him away. "Even eight year olds should be able to dress themselves."
"Whatever you say," Fred shrugged, looking at me in amusement.
After I'd changed into one of Fred's sweaters and a pair of my own sweatpants, I dug around in my bag and pulled out Fred's gift. He was already sitting on the bed by now, resting upright against the headboard as his legs stretched out in front of him, so I handed him the gift before climbing in beside him.
"What's this?" He asked, smiling over at me.
"Your birthday gift, silly." I nudged my elbow into his side.
"I'm curious to see what it is," he said, turning and laying across the bed horizontally, placing his head in my lap and planting his feet on the other side of the mattress, his legs bent at the knees to be able to fit his feet there at all. "That quill you bought George was impressive. And the color changing ink? Perfect."
"Well, open yours," I whispered. "I think it's just as perfect, if not more so."
Fred quickly and shamelessly ripped the wrapping paper off of the rectangular shaped gift. Inside was a new journal filled with a hundred or so blank pages for Fred's invention planning. The cover was made out of purple and orange leather-the same colors as the theming in the joke shop. It had been a coincidence that I'd found a journal in those colors, but I'd had it personalized on the front with the shop's logo. There was also a clasp running across the side of the journal, stretching across the two covers, locking it closed.
"It's fingerprint activated," I said, pointing to the oval shaped circle on the front of the journal, right at the start of the clasp. "You can charm it to recognize your fingerprint and then it'll only open for you. It allows up to two fingerprints, so you could also add George's." I paused as I watched Fred study the journal. "I also had noticed you had almost used up your last one," I said. "You were always scribbling in it. It's almost full and it's falling apart. You filled up a good amount of it researching and planning the Sophie's Wings potion, so I thought it would be a perfect gift for me to give you."
Fred wordlessly continued to study the journal, slowly turning it back and forth in his hands and running his fingers along the cover.
"Do you like it?" I asked.
"This is brilliant," Fred whispered. He figured out how to operate the fingerprint clasp and pulled the journal open, flipping through the pages. He looked up and met my eyes, a grin spreading over his face. "It's perfect, Soph, I mean it. Thank you." He leaned up to press a kiss to my lips before resting his head back in my lap.
I stared down at him with a soft smile as I ran my fingers through his hair. "You're welcome."
Fred's eyes closed and he sighed contentedly as I continued to softly play with his hair, shifting my gaze towards the window. Even though it had rained all day, the sky had cleared for the most part and I could see patches of clear, star filled sky through the small bunches of clouds that remained.
"Soph?" Fred asked, his voice coming out quiet and sleepy sounding.
"Hm?" I looked back down at him and saw that his eyes were still closed, but he had angled his head towards me.
"Do you think you would ever want children?"
"What?" I asked in surprise. That was certainly a question that I hadn't been expecting.
Fred opened his eyes and looked up at me, a serious expression on his face, which was something that had become increasingly rare to see in the last few months. I liked it that way.
"Earlier...you said that you weren't planning on becoming a mother. Did you mean ever?"
There was a pause. "Why are you asking? Are you planning on becoming a father?" I asked. "Your reaction today kind of said otherwise."
Fred shook his head as he averted his gaze to the ceiling and stared up at it. "Well, no, I'm not planning on it just yet. But someday...yeah." He looked back at me again, his eyes thoughtful. "I would like at least a few," he said quietly. "Children, I mean."
I chewed on my lip as I thought of what to say. I liked children, but I'd never had the opportunity to think about my future to this extent. And I certainly didn't feel ready for kids now.
I sighed as I traced the edge of my fingernail along the collar of Fred's t-shirt. "For so long," I began, my voice a whisper as I frowned down at my hand, "as far ahead into my future that I could afford to think about was a day. Maybe two. Usually less. Usually, I was focusing on getting by minute by minute. Nothing was guaranteed. I didn't know if I'd live to see another day, so ever giving life to someone else was out of the question. Besides, I've spent so much of my time alone. Relationships weren't something I had much of and back then, I couldn't see myself ever finding anyone one day. I couldn't see myself falling in love or someone falling in love with me. It just wasn't a possibility. As far as I was concerned, no one loved me or would ever love me, and in turn, I had no love to give out. Not even to myself."
"Soph," Fred whispered, staring up at me with such pain in his eyes that I had to look away.
"Don't look at me like that, Fred," I whispered.
"Why not?" He asked indignantly. "How can you expect me not to feel anything after you've just said you felt completely unloveable?"
"It doesn't matter anymore," I said.
"It does matter. Of course it matters," Fred insisted.
I shook my head and cut him off. "I don't feel that way anymore, Fred. You love me. Tom and Martha love me, my friends love me. I even found out that my own mother did love me when for so long I had thought otherwise. I was wrong. That's why it doesn't matter anymore. Now, I feel like I have a future. I'm not limited to just thinking about only a minute ahead anymore. I'm not worried about where and how I'll get my next meal or if I'd be able to keep warm enough for the night. But at the same time, I'm not used to thinking so far ahead. I've never entertained the idea of children one day, just like I had never entertained the idea of falling in love until I met you. So when you asked me if I wanted children one day-as in at some point in the future-it took me by surprise. It would have take me a little by surprise anyway, but...I've never even thought about it. Never had the time or a reason."
"So now that you have the time and a reason," Fred began, "what do you think?"
I let out a puff of air and leaned back against the headboard, letting my head fall back as I stared aimlessly across the room in thought. I continued slowly running my fingers through Fred's hair as I took in a deep breath. When I spoke, I kept my gaze on a point across the room, still half lost in thought. "Remember that little girl you sold a Pygmy Puff to this morning?"
Fred thought a moment. "Yeah," he said.
I finally looked back down at him and smiled softly. "You were really sweet with her. I couldn't even hear what you were saying, but I could tell. I could tell how happy you made her."
Fred smiled. "I had to make a sale, didn't I?" He asked.
"Shut up," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Seriously, Fred, I mean it, it was a sweet moment."
"Okay, so what does that mean for you?" He asked.
"It means," I began slowly, "that maybe that was the glimpse into my future that I never had time to wonder or think about or plan for." I shrugged. "I liked seeing you that way. And if having children one day is something I get to do with you, then...yeah, I think I'd like that. Someday, though," I added quickly. "Not now."
Fred smiled. "Agreed."
I smiled as I continued to brush my fingers through Fred's hair. His eyes were closed again and he let out a sigh.
"Can you promise me one thing?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Anything," Fred murmured sleepily, his lips hardly even moving as he spoke.
"If we do have children one day," I whispered, "promise me that they will never go a single day without knowing that you love them. Even if they've just made you furious. Even if they've just smeared peanut butter in your socks and jam in your underwear."
"Jam in my what?" Fred asked with a slight chuckle, his eyes still closed as he smiled.
I giggled. "Even if they color all over the walls or knock over a display in the shop. Promise me that they will never, ever feel unloved."
Fred opened his eyes and stared up at my face. He reached up and placed a hand over the one of mine that was resting on his chest, threading his fingers through mine.
When he didn't say anything, I continued speaking. "I know you will love them, but promise me that you will tell them so every single day."
Fred swallowed. "Every day," he repeated. "Until my lungs give out." He smiled slightly. "But I'm going to make an amendment to this promise."
"What kind of amendment?"
Fred smiled wider. "I also promise to tell you every single day that I love you. Even when you smear peanut butter in my socks and jam in my underwear."
I laughed and lifted my hand from where it was buried in Fred's hair to cover my mouth and stifle the sound.
"Even when you're driving me insane, I still promise to tell you every day," Fred went on with a slight chuckle of his own.
"Until your lungs give out?" I whispered through my laughter.
Fred nodded. "Exactly."
I smiled. "I like that amendment," I whispered. "It's good to know that if I put peanut butter in your socks, you won't be angry with me."
"I didn't say I wouldn't be angry," Fred laughed. "I just said I'd still love you."
"Good to know," I giggled.
"You should also know that if you were ever to put peanut butter in my socks, I'd have to respond accordingly," Fred went on.
"And how might that be?" I asked.
"By filling all of your socks with peanut butter as well. We'll match!"
I giggled. "That's the best retaliation you've got?"
"Is that a challenge?" Fred asked, raising his eyebrows.
Instead of responding, I simply rolled my eyes, smiled down at him and sighed as I trailed my fingertips from his hair, over the top of his ear and down the side of his face. Fred sighed and closed his eyes again.
"Thanks for such a great party," he murmured sleepily.
"Don't mention it," I whispered. "It was worth all the planning just to see the look on your face."
"You mean when all that confetti came raining down on me and George?" Fred laughed.
"Yeah, exactly," I answered with a laugh of my own.
"I wouldn't be laughing," Fred warned me. "It's your turn next to get confetti dumped on you. Two months from now when it's your birthday..."
"You can't warn me about it," I scoffed. "Honestly. What kind of prankster are you?"
"An extraordinary one. The very best," Fred assured me.
I snorted. "Doesn't sound like it."
Fred lightly swatted my shoulder with the back of his hand. "Jerk." He cracked open one eye as the corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. "Still love you, though."
"That's a relief," I whispered, smiling at him as I resumed running my hand through his hair. "I still love you, too."
"Good," Fred whispered, his voice sleepier than before.
The two of us stayed in the positions we were in for a few moments more before Fred finally sat up and leaned in to kiss me before he got comfortable under the covers beside me. He gave me one more kiss and mumbled a goodnight before lying down. I did the same and I felt Fred's arm snake around me, just like always. He pulled me to him and I let out a content sigh before falling asleep moments later.
