AN: Disclaimer, ownership of characters held by Stephenie Meyer. The chapters are shorter, but I'm getting them completed sooner. Hope you enjoy this one, it occurs while Bella is studying with Jasper and Alice.
To Angel6582, you will notice I changed this slightly. Hope you enjoy the addition. Thanks for the help.
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17 – Emmett's Decision – Edward
We had been out in the woods for over a day. I had kept my word to myself and I no longer allowed Bella to be left alone while I was hunting. I knew she would spend the weekend studying for her Trig test. If she needed help, I knew she could ask Alice to help her study. I had already warned Emmett and Jasper that they were forbidden to tell her what was on last year's test. I also told them they were in no way to give her any answers for any questions that might be on the test. They could help her study but nothing more, I said.
Emmett spent the early part of the trip focusing only on hunting, but I could tell he had other things on his mind now that most of his thirst was quenched. We were sitting on a fallen tree, taking a break from hunting.
"So, has Bella forgiven you for earning her detention last week?"
"She wasn't upset with me about that."
"Are you sure? Not only would Rosie have been upset, but she also would've made me pay for doing that to her."
"Bella assured me she wasn't upset or mad about the incident. At least we shared the time together. In fact, we spent the entire hour studying for her trig test."
"Humph," Emmett looked off into the distance. "I wonder some times about the relationship between the two of you. I don't understand why Bella puts up with you."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, look at the way you treat her."
"What's wrong with the way I treat her?" I was always careful of her welfare and kept her safe and protected.
"Everything. You don't kiss her with any passion. You keep her at arms length, and you refuse her the one thing she really wants. I'm surprised Bella is willing to wait for you. If I were her, I know what I'd do."
"And what might that be?"
"I'd force your hand."
"How would you propose to do that?"
"Simple, I would put myself in a situation where you would be forced to either change me or lose me forever."
Typical Emmett solution, I thought. "Bella would never do that."
"She might surprise you one day Edward. How long do you think she'll wait for you to give her what she wants?"
"She doesn't know what she wants. She'll find this is a passing fancy and decide it was a mistake, and then she'll resume her normal life like she was meant to."
"If she did, you'd become a basket case. Don't delude yourself Edward. She'll never changer her mind. She's too in love with you. No, her best move would be to put herself in a position were you'd have to either give her what she truly desires or to lose her forever."
"Emmett, the risk would be too great and too foolish. Bella would never do that to herself, or to her parents." I knew Bella would never take such a risk deliberately.
"You don't know that for sure Edward. If the bear hadn't mauled me, Rosie would never have taken me to Carlisle, I would never have been changed, and I would have lost Rosie forever. Being mauled was a very fortuitous event; it gave me what I wanted and now I'll have Rosie forever. I know how Bella feels."
"Well, Bella is not likely to be mauled by a bear, and I don't believe she'll ever intentionally endanger herself."
Emmett laughed. "Edward, Bella already does that everyday."
"How?"
A huge grin spread across Emmett's face. "You once said you're the most dangerous person for Bella to be around. Well, everyday she seeks your company; she is intentionally placing herself in the most dangerous situation possible. One slip on your part could quickly end her life."
"I'm more careful about her well-being . . ." Emmett put up his hand.
"Wait, I'm not finished. You're not the only one who's a potential danger to her, we all are yet she daily places herself in our company. Edward, our whole family is a potential threat to Bella's life, yet she walks into our house with no fear or concern for her own welfare. Face it Edward, Bella already willing endangers her life everyday, and I don't see her wanting to change that situation except by becoming like us."
Emmett was right. I had never thought about Bella's safety with my family except maybe for Jasper, but Alice and I already watched for any problems that might arise from that quarter. Bella did endanger her life everyday just be being with me. How could I allow her to do that? I thought as I stared at Emmett.
"I'm glad you're accepting that fact. Now, have you changed your mind about changing her?" Emmett definitely had a one-track mind.
"No, I have not. I'll just have to be more careful where she's concerned."
"You're so obstinate about this," Emmett roared. "You can't keep her if you don't change her."
"Why not?" I yelled back.
"Because it's not fair to Bella." He boomed. Then he took a deep breath and continued in a quieter tone. "Edward, what kind of lover are you? Bella is a woman. She wants to be held, caressed, and loved. She doesn't want a platonic relationship; she wants passion. Heck, even you can't want that weak of a relationship. Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to really kiss her and touch her in a more intimate way?"
"Yes, but I resist those urges for Bella's sake."
Emmett's laugh echoed through the woods. "Edward, for Bella's sake? Bella wants those reactions from you, and she wants to share her own reactions with you. Besides, how can she tell how you really feel about her if you lock all those feelings inside and don't share them?" He shook his head. "Poor Bella, what she must be suffering because of you."
"Suffering how?"
"Do you suffer when you have to refrain from allowing your feelings full control?"
I only nodded as I looked at him.
"Bella shares those feelings Edward. She suffers along with you, but for her, there is no justification for her suffering. She can't lie to herself and tell herself how noble and self-sacrificing she is because she's doing what's best for you. No, she just suffers, and worst of all, she comes back for more." Emmett paused and shook his head. "Bella should leave you."
"What?" I hadn't expected that comment at all.
"No really. She should just walk away from you. Not because she doesn't love you, but because of the pain you're causing her. It would serve you right if she left you. She's too good for you. Not because she is human, but because she's willing to wait for something you refuse to give her." Emmett's eyes were hard. "I'll see you later. I need to find a bear to vent my anger on so I don't hit you or something." With that, Emmett ran into the forest.
Was Emmett right? Was I causing Bella to suffer by keeping her at arms length? Was I unfair to her? Instantly, her face appeared before my eyes. Her eyes were shining and her full lips were spread in an inviting smile. I wanted to reach out and touch her face, but I knew she wasn't within my reach. Not only did distance separate us, but also my vampire existence kept us apart. I needed to take my mind off Bella and focus on something else for a while, so, like Emmett, I decided to hunt something wild.
It was three hours before I saw Emmett again, and I actually heard him before I saw him.
Yes, that's what I'll do. He won't like it, but I'll do it anyway. Or at least I'll offer! Then he came crashing through the trees into sight. "Oh, here you are."
"And what was that all about?" I asked, none to pleased about what I saw flitting through his mind.
Oh sh! He heard that!
"Yes, and I'm hearing that also. Just spit it out Emmett, you know if you don't tell me what you're thinking then I'll just hear it as you try to hide it."
"While I was gone, I took some time to think about you and Bella. I want to know if there is anyway I or anyone else in the family can prevail upon you to change Bella."
"No." It was a simple straight foreword answer.
"Why? And don't give me the excuse of saving her for someone else."
"I want what's best for Bella, and it is better for her not to have to exist like this. I can't ever imagine Bella hunting for her food, much less drinking blood. Emmett, the smell of blood makes her sick."
"Human blood, but has she ever smelled animal blood. For us it's much less potent, maybe it would not affect her in the same way. Had you thought about that?"
"No, but that doesn't change anything."
"You're still stuck on the 'what's best for Bella' argument. I'm not belittling the fact that you want what's best for Bella, but from whose perspective are you looking from because what you see as best for her may not be what she sees. You see a human husband and children, but all she sees is you. What if that's what's best for her because it's what she wants?"
"Why would she want a monster?"
"Edward, has she ever called you a monster?"
"No, but that doesn't change the fact that I am one."
"To her it does. Has she ever said anything that even vaguely suggests that you're any kind of monster in her eyes?"
"No, not exactly."
"Well, what exactly did she say?"
"Give me a moment."
"Yeah, kick in that photographic memory and dig out her exact words."
"It was a conversation we had when she was trying to guess what I was. Even then, she knew I was different from those around her. I asked her what if I was not a superhero but a villain. She then realized I was dangerous, but she countered with 'But not bad. No, I don't believe that you're bad.'"
"See, I told you. It is not even in her power to see you as any type of evil monster. Only you see yourself that way. So, what other reason do you have for not changing her?" He was staring me down. "Come on Edward, what aren't you saying?"
Maybe I should tell him, and then he would drop this entire subject. "I don't want Bella to be a monster."
"Who said she would be a monster?"
"Look at us Emmett. People see vampires as monsters for horror stories. I don't want Bella to ever be looked at that way by others or herself."
"Would you see her as a monster if you changed her?"
"Of course not."
"But you see yourself as a monster. Why?"
"Because that's what I am when I desire human blood. Even Bella saw the monster in me that first day in biology class."
"Did you tell you that?"
"No."
"Look, Bella admitted you were dangerous, but refused to believe you were bad. Edward, she's in love with you; I doubt she sees you as anything monstrous. If she did, she would have run screaming in the opposite direction; instead, she stands at our door and knock so she can see you. Worse, she lets you stay in her room at night and sleeps without fear. She does sleep while you their, right?"
"What else would she do? She's human; she has to sleep."
"Well, I haven't personally gone over to Bella's at night to watch what the two of you do after the lights go out, but obviously she doesn't throw you out, so she can't be afraid of you."
"What we do or do not do is really none of your business," I thought Emmett was over stepping certain personal boundaries with that question, "but you're right, she doesn't throw me out. In fact, she asks me to stay."
"So, there, she doesn't see you as a monster. What's in her best interest is from you perspective only and she's definitely in love with you. All your arguments are invalid, so now you can change her."
I could see he hadn't given up. So, very firmly, I replied, "My answer is still N – O. No, I will not change Bella."
"Then maybe I should do it for her."
I took a step back from him as if I had been hit. In fact, his words did hit me hard, almost as if he had punched me in the face. "You'll do no such thing." I growled.
"Better me than somebody else's car." He growled back.
"That was an accident." Both our tempers were flaring.
"Edward, how soon before you realize that the accidents won't stop, not for Bella at least."
"You are not going to change her, nor is anyone else."
"Why Edward?"
"Bella would hate me if I changed her or if I let someone else change her."
"Oh please!"
"What's that mean?"
"Bella loves you. She will welcome the change. She'll never hate you because she is totally and irrevocably in love with you."
"She only thinks she is in love with me."
"Give me a break." Emmett's dissatisfaction with my opinions was evident in his voice and look. Hasn't he listened to a word I have said? How dense can one person be?
"Emmett, Bella has a right to fall in love with someone who can make a family with her. Someone who doesn't have to kill her but can live a normal human life with her. One day Bella will find someone she loves better than me."
"Yeah, that's like saying someday Rosie will drop me for someone she loves better, or Alice will tell Jasper to take a hike because she has a new love. No, neither they nor Bella will ever find anyone that they love more than they love us. Look, I'm going to prove she loves you and only you. How I don't know, but I'll find a way."
Emmett was utterly incensed with me, but I felt the same way about him. His arguments were not going to change my mind. What I was doing was for Bella's benefit. I wanted her safe, protected, and alive, and I would not jeopardize her life in anyway.
For the rest of the hunt, we mutually agreed to disagree and no more was said verbally on the topic of Bella's change. Unfortunately, that didn't make Emmett stop thinking about it. He went over in his mind numerous ways to broach the subject with Bella, and he even practiced making her the offer of changing her, but he was never satisfied with what he said or how he presented it.
At first, every time his mind wondered on to the topic of changing her, I glared at him, but eventually I stopped because I realized he wasn't finding any way to make her the offer without feeling he had done it poorly, so he would go back to planning a new way. It seemed that Emmett would not be making her the offer anytime soon, because he was unable to find the right words. The decisive factor came when he began to realize that even if she accepted his offer, he was not sure if he could stop after he bit her.
I made a mental note to myself; the next time I needed to hunt, I would go with Jasper. At least if he wanted to discuss Bella's situation, he could pacify me afterwards.
