"Edgar." Cyan placed a hand on Edgar's shoulder.
Edgar turned from the window of his room at the inn. "She's awake?"
"Yes. She asks for thee."
An initial hesitation flamed by a surprising ember of fear tightened his chest. "Is she well enough to receive visitors? Shouldn't she be allowed to rest?"
"The alchemist believes that refusing her thy presence when she insists so vehemently would be unwise. Thou must be brief, but it is recommended."
Edgar gave a brief nod, clapping Cyan on the shoulder once before exiting the inn and slowly walking toward the alchemist's house. He'd been hard-pressed to entice his mind and body to rest the entire time she'd been sleeping, remaining in his seat by the window of his room while everyone else made their way to the alchemist's house to sit with her motionless form. Sabin and Locke had both tried to persuade him to go, but he'd stood firmly behind his belief that it wouldn't do much good to over-exhaust her. He'd promptly told them to let him be.
Edgar entered the house, pausing at the crest of the stairs that led to the basement where, previously, the alchemist had preserved Rachel's body; until the Phoenix had released her spirit and used it to give itself rebirth. How lucky I am to not be in the same position. Would I survive her death? Would I have the strength to move on with the knowledge that she would no longer be beside me as friend and comforter? He didn't believe he would.
Edgar took in a deep breath, pressing aside the fear of what steps he considered as he forced himself to descend the stairs. Terra's form seemed so slight and delicate in the bed, her pale face appearing even more innocent and... free from impurities. It brought to his mind his own past of sexual freedoms and twistings of innocent hearts so similar to hers. It made him cringe to know he had considered perverting her existence.
Edgar's chest tightened as he pushed away the possibilities and fantasies. Sabin was indeed more worthy of her than he.
Edgar came to stand beside her bed. She opened her eyes and focused on his. "The sleeping beauty awakes, I see," he said with a gentle smile. Kneeling beside her bed, he took her hand and caressed her pale cheek. "You gave us quite a fright, my lady. You should be clapped in irons for terrorizing me so. You showed this king no mercy."
Terra's unique eyes glistened with tears as her lips trembled. She clutched his hand tighter. "The children. Are they alright?"
She struggled to get out of bed, but Edgar held her gently back. "The children are fine, Terra. It's you that has us worried."
Terra blinked up at him. "Me? Why?" Her eyes suddenly glimmered. "A-Am I dying?"
The question hit Edgar like one of Umaro's fists, and he couldn't suppress the cringe fast enough. She saw it and closed her eyes, turning her head away from him.
"All the time I've wasted and now..." Terra's words faded, replaced by the soft tears she attempted to hide.
Edgar watched her, his soul hurting. For the first time in his life he no longer surrendered to the easy answer or the empty words of nonsense to comfort her. Instead, he adjusted his hold on her hand and said "While there is still a danger, the alchemist has said nothing of an impending death. Don't trouble your heart with that fear, Terra, for it solves nothing."
Terra sighed, and the sound resembled a whimper. "It's not fair. All the things I've wanted to do..."
Edgar watched her face, so intense with the thoughts of the tomorrows she believed would no longer be hers. A desire to know and to help her fulfill her dreams rose so vehemently within-- "Tell me what you wished to do with your life," he said quietly. "Terra, tell me of your dreams."
She wiped her tears away with a choked sigh. "Why? What's the point?"
The statement actually caused Edgar pain. She deserved truth, integrity, and passion. She deserved all he had never given her. Is there time for that now? Would the bittersweet emotion of a too-short romance be worth the pain of the memories? Edgar believed it would. "I want to hear them."
Terra moved her gaze to meet his. Edgar held it, even though he knew his own true feelings showed. Something registered within those eyes, and her cheeks colored a little before she lowered her eyes to their clasped hands.
"I don't know about dreams, Edgar, and now it might be too late." She traced a circle around the knuckles of his hand as it held hers. "I wouldn't even know how to talk about them," she whispered in a choked voice.
"I know of that very well," he confessed. Edgar moved his gaze to her hand and fingers as they seemed to stroke and soothe the tension from his body. Truth... But what of Sabin's affections? Can I betray him in this way? His soul balked at allowing her to be taken from him, but his heart resisted the betrayal of his flesh-and-blood. Of course, whether she married Sabin or not, she still deserved the truth.
"Do you know why I didn't visit you after the final fight with Kefka?" Edgar's question was hesitant. Terra peeked at him out of the corner of her eyes before shaking her head. He took hold of the truth and plunged ahead. "I no longer knew how to talk to you."
Terra looked him full in the face. He looked up and met her eyes. They registered surprise and confusion. "What?" she asked.
Edgar smiled and brushed a damp tendril of hair from her face. "You'd been through so much, Terra. I felt I'd lost the common ground on which we'd once stood. You'd lost your powers. I didn't understand how to move past that."
"B-but..."
Edgar released a deep breath. His eyes retreated from hers and again focused on her slight hand in his. "People change, but I fought it as a rebel army fighting the Empire. I was comfortable where I was and didn't want to take the risk. Not even once you and I became so... such close friends. It was easier to let you drift away than to admit my fear and ask your help." Edgar caught her gaze again. "I am sorry for that. You deserved more than what I was willing to give, and I didn't see that until it was too late to change it."
"Y-you... Y-you didn't mean all those things you said?"
Edgar's brow dropped in confusion. "Things I said? What things?"
"You said you were tired of me hanging all over you expecting your help. Y-you said I was wanting you to baby me and you wanted no part of it--" Her voice broke off as she lowered her eyes.
Edgar's hands tightened on hers as he sought to deliver her from the hurt and confusion. "I never said such things, Terra. You said much the same to me."
Her eyes widened as they rose to meet his. "What?"
He smiled as he caressed her jaw. "From what Cyan and the others tell me, we were fooled."
"Fooled? By who?"
"By a techno-mage named Ledo Grikea."
"What?" Her delicate brows furrowed in a frown of confusion. "When? Why?"
Edgar kissed her cold fingers with a slight chuckle. "Much as I know you would enjoy the tale, the alchemist left explicit instructions that my visit was to be brief." He recognized the desperation he'd seen in her eyes that first visit so many days previous and smiled reassuringly. "You must sleep, Terra. Allow your body to heal, and then I shall tell you the story of your adventure. All right?"
She reluctantly nodded. Edgar stood and tucked the blanket around her, placing a kiss on her forehead. He straightened and gazed down at her innocence and intensity that was so intoxicating... "Rest, Terra."
She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, but her hand gripped his. He allowed the hold to continue as her breathing deepened to sleep, drawing her persona into him though he knew he had to bid it farewell.
"Terra?" Celes looked down at the pale face with a concerned expression. "How are you doing?"
Terra smiled sleepily, stretching her arms above her head. "I'm doing good," she said finally.
Celes smiled. "All that time in the Empire seems to come back and haunt the both of us, doesn't it? Don't worry about it, though. We got it taken care of, and you should be back to your usual self in a couple months."
Terra slightly nodded. "How are the children?"
"I believe I received a note from Relm saying she was having fun watching them. I think Shadow shows up and gives her a hand every once and awhile."
Terra nodded with a sleepy smile. "Shadow. That man is one walking mystery after another. I never know what to think about him. But he's good to the kids and they love his scary stories just before bed..." Terra's voice drifted.
"What's the matter?" Celes asked the question hesitantly.
Terra's eyes met hers. "Edgar's gone back to Figaro, hasn't he?"
Celes' heart skipped a beat with hope as she shook her head. "No, Terra. No, he hasn't."
"What about the ball he was giving to celebrate the building of the new power source in South Figaro? He was supposed to push the switch to make it start running. There was going to be a speech."
Celes smiled. "He made the Chancellor find someone do it for him. He said he couldn't leave here yet. Of course, he also keeps saying it's too soon for us to be talking to you. That you need the rest as much as possible to help you recover. I suppose he's right, but we've all been so worried about you. We wanted a chance to talk to you too."
"I feel awful."
"Why?" Celes asked, laughing. "Edgar said it was no trouble to reschedule his speech with someone else. He even said he wanted to find a way out of it anyway so he could visit you and the kids. After all, it would have been Cera's birthday."
Terra seemed surprised at first. "That would have been so nice... It's just my luck something like this would happen."
"Now don't start talking like that. It wasn't your fault at all, and those kids of yours still have plenty of birthdays left. You shouldn't worry about missing only one."
Terra picked at her fingernail and gnawed on her lower lip. Celes noticed, recognizing the hesitation with another twinkle of hope. Hadn't she had a similar hesitation so many times about Locke? About what to say; about what he felt; about what she felt?
"Celes, how do you know when you're in love with someone?"
The smile that twinkled in Celes' eyes lit the entire room. "Some people say 'you just know', but I always viewed that as a weak excuse to keep from delving into what 'love' meant to them."
Terra's glance lifted to Celes' face a moment, but then it lowered back to her fingernail. "What do you mean?"
"Well, it is true that when you love someone you seem to have an instinct about them, but it's more than that. You have an insight into what they feel, or why they act a certain way. You seem to have an uncanny grasp on what to say to make them feel better about themselves or a situation they find themselves in."
Terra's eyes lifted to watch Celes' face. Her mind grappled with the information, but Celes could see it wasn't enough.
"But how do you feel?" Terra pressed.
Celes reached out and took Terra's hand. She gave it a squeeze. "That changes with each person, Terra. What's true for me could be different for you."
"Tell me. Please." And her voice held a touch of desperation.
Celes took in a deep breath and released it slowly. "Let me see... It's so hard to put in words. There's just something there that wasn't before. A type of light happiness you take wherever you go. When I see Locke I can't help but smile because my mind wanders to something he's said to me, or a particular way he touched my cheek... Something silly like that. It's like he's another version of me because he seems to understand me. What he doesn't understand, he certainly attempts to."
Terra dropped her gaze with several slow nods. "I think I need to be alone for a little bit." Her eyes rose hesitantly to Celes'. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not." Celes smiled down at her as she stood. "You get as much rest as you need. We're not going anywhere until we can take you with us."
"Alright. Thank-you."
Celes left the room and gave Locke and the others the 'thumbs up'.
Terra stared at the door for several moments before she let herself really think about what Celes had told her. Everything seemed to fit, as if the final piece to a puzzle had been placed ever so carefully by an unknown part of her. I love Edgar?
Somehow the thought wasn't strange, or foreign, or even the least bit unexpected. It was a little awe-inspiring. She, who'd been raised by the Empire and trained to murder and massacre with a simple command, had somehow learned to love. Terra didn't know when or how it had happened, or even how long she'd been hiding the feelings, but the truth was too much to ignore.
"I love him," she whispered.
Terra looked away from the door to stare down at her hands. She loved the king of Figaro who saw her as nothing but a child. A source of his amusement... But a memory nagged at the back part of Terra's mind. A memory of a look in his eyes when he'd asked about her dreams. What am I going to do? Terra was in an unknown world of emotion and didn't know how to communicate her feelings to her closest friend...
Terra took in a slow breath and decided to tell him the only way she knew how: very badly.
