The Fortune Cookie's Always Right


Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.

Author's Note: Sorry this one took longer to come out! This chapter's twice as long, and plants a few seeds for chapters to come...


CHAPTER 3: SHE'S NOT MY TYPE


Luke walked out of the Gilmore kitchen in his pajama pants and a t-shirt, a mug of coffee in each hand. He set them down on the end table, eyeing the stack of DVDs with mistrust.

Lorelai grinned. "O-k, we've got National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Christmas in Connecticut, Holiday Inn, White Christmas, A Christmas Story, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone 1 and 2, It's A Wonderful Life, The Lemon Drop Kid, Miracle on 34th Street – the original, the remake sucked – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, The Santa Clause, and all the Christmas Carols – Alistair Sims, George C. Scott, Patrick Stewart, the Muppets, and, most importantly, A Christmas Carol: The Musical, starring Kelsey Grammer as Ebenezer Scrooge," she said, flopping down on the couch.

"We're going to watch all of these? And why especially the musical version?" asked Luke.

Lorelai laughed. "Oh-ho-no, my friend, we are going to fall asleep halfway through It's A Wonderful Life. And the musical version is for mocking. Hello, have you met me? Lorelai Gilmore, Mocker Extraordinaire!"

The phone rang. "What, I thought no phones during movie nights!" Luke protested. "Come on, that's the rule!"

"True," Lorelai said slowly, slinking toward the phone, "but it's not technically a movie night, it's a movie morning."

"Technicality!" growled Luke with a hint of a smile. He sighed. "Go, answer."

"Thank you!" Lorelai said, grinning and grabbing the phone.

"Hello, you've reached Lorelai and Rory and Luke, except not really Rory because she's at Yale and only comes home for laundry, ungrateful child, and not really Luke because he has his own house but we have lots of sex here so it's almost like he lives here," Lorelai announced.

"First, I do not only come home for laundry, I also come home so you can feed me, and second, eww! Gross!" Rory replied.

"Oh, was that you, sweetie? Sorry, didn't realize," Lorelai teased.

"Whatever, mom! You totally have caller ID," Rory said.

"Hmm, I suppose I do," Lorelai said, looking at her cell phone with a sly smile.

"Mm hm. Besides, what if that had been Grandma?" Rory countered.

"Point taken," Lorelai said, making a face and shifting positions on the couch. "What's up, babe?"

"Well," Rory said, looking around the quad in front of the library. "I just wanted to let you know that I may be incommunicado for a few days."

Lorelai gave Luke a questioning look. "Incommunicado how?"

"Well, I can't go into it right now, but just don't freak if I don't call you back, and don't freak if Paris calls you freaking out that I didn't come home at night or something," Rory said calmly.

"Um, ok," Lorelai said. Suddenly, realization dawned on her. "So is this another Life and Death Brigade event?"

"Rory Gilmore, reporting from deep inside," Rory quipped.

"Dirty!"

"Mom!" Rory whined. "I can't tell you anything more; it would compromise the integrity of the event," she said loftily.

"Fine, fine," Lorelai said, waving her hand in the air. "I just have three things to say to you."

"Shoot."

"One: bring your toothbrush. No one likes a reporter with stinky breath, especially for those up-close-and-personal interviews. Two: leave bits of cloth as a trail so in case you never come back we know how to find you. Actually, leave a trail of biscotti. That's more enticing."

"Ok, and when my breath is fresh wherever I've been hypothetically abducted, what happens when the animals eat all the biscotti?" Rory asked.

"Oh honey, animals don't eat biscotti. Only pretentious Starbucks aficionados and Europeans eat biscotti," Lorelai said.

"No, animals will eat anything," Rory stated.

"Anything? You think animals would eat our Bid-A-Basket picnic lunches?" Lorelai taunted.

Rory sighed. "What's the third thing?"

"Just a minute. I'm trying to remember what we put in our lunches last year."

"Third thing, Mom!"

"Bah! So I forgot the third thing. Just go be reporter-y and don't die, ok?"

"Ok. Bye, Mom."

"Bye, sweets."

Lorelai hung up the phone and sighed. She set it down on the coffee table. "So since you are a hermit and have never seen a movie I haven't introduced you to, you get to pick. Let's start with…one of the Christmas Carols. Which one?" Lorelai said, holding up the DVDs.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Whatever, it doesn't matter since we have to watch them all."

"Hmm," said Lorelai. She thought for a moment then chose the Patrick Stewart.

"Let's start with Captain Picard," she said with a mischievous gleam in her eye. "Do you, um, need to wear your Star Trek shirt for this?"

"Just put the damn thing in," Luke said.

"Hey, buddy," Lorelai said, holding up her hand and making the Vulcan greeting. "I come in peace. Live long and prosper!"

"Oh geez," Luke said, sliding down in his seat.


Rory looked around the quad before stashing her cell in her purse and walking into the library. She made her way to the medieval history section and waited patiently. She started to browse through the books.

"A-hem." She heard a mystery voice clearing their throat on the other side of the books. Rory peered through the shelves to see Logan pointing at his eyes.

"Oh, right," she said, hastily putting on the blindfold. She patiently waited for Logan to walk down her aisle. After a minute or so, she started getting worried. Was this just a prank? Where was he? She heard footsteps and unconsciously took a step backwards.

"Gettin' sloppy there, Ace," Logan said quietly, his voice clearly near her ear. Rory shivered, then made a quick recovery.

"Trust me?" he asked, leading her down the aisle and suddenly stopping.

"Well…" she said, pretending to think it over.

"Hey!"

"Just kidding. I trust you implicitly," she said sweetly, turning her face to the direction of his voice.

"Ok then," he replied. "Steps comin' up."

"O-k," Rory said. Logan placed her hand in the crook of his arm and led her down the back stairwell of the library. They walked across grass, finally coming to pavement.

"Question: why the blindfold? I already know it's you guys," Rory asked.

"Ah, good point," Logan said, "but this is more fun. The blindfold comes off in the limo," he said.

"What?" shrieked Colin.

"Relax, the windows are tinted."

"Oh."

"Hi, Colin!" Rory greeted amiably.

"Hey Rory," Colin replied.

"Are we there yet?" she asked.

"Patience, young Skywalker," chided Logan. "Here's the limo now – watch your head."

Rory heeded his warning and slid into the limousine.

"Drive on, Frank!" Logan said after Frank returned to the driver's seat. "Ok, blindfold coming off," he said, untying the blindfold over Rory's eyes. She blinked and then noticed that there was an extra person in the limousine.

"Hello, possums!" Finn proclaimed.

"Oh no, it's Dame Edna's ugly stepsister," Logan moaned.

"Hey, I'm just trying to get in touch with my roots, ok?" Finn said in defense.

"He seems more like a Sir Les Patterson, I think," Rory offered.

"Well as long as I'm not a bloody friend of Kenny, I'll take it," Finn said. "Now where's this super secret location? I should murder you all for waking me up at this ungodly hour," Finn said, sunglasses perched on his nose.

"Yes, where is this mystery location?" asked Rory. "And might I add that the blindfold was totally unnecessary."

"Ok, first of all, I can't tell you the mystery location; have you learned nothing? And secondly, the blindfold was for my own personal entertainment."

"Fine, fine," Rory said. She pulled out her pencil and small notebook from her purse.

"So. Are we on our way to another big event? Will there be jumping off another high rise?"

"Come on Ace, you don't think that we only meet once a year, do you? What kind of secret society would that make us? Think: what are the absolute basics of any organization?"

"Well are there…like…chapter meetings? Is this your typical Greek structure?"

"See, I knew you were smart," Logan said.

Rory playfully smacked his arm. "Seriously; I thought you only had one big event each year – and wasn't that it? I mean, last time?"

"Seriously, Ace, that was our biggest event, but not our only one. This one is just going to be for our class; it's significantly smaller. We each have our own bits to organize for the event, and you are going to help us organize ours," Logan explained.

"Wait, you mean we're not on our way to an actual Life and Death Brigade event? Then what am I here for?" Rory asked, confused and a little peeved.

"All in good time, Ace, all in good time…"


"Well, we're here," Logan said as the limo slowed to a stop.

"Would here be the middle of a forest?" Rory asked warily.

Frank opened the door to the limo and everyone climbed out. Rory's jaw dropped in shock.

"Wow, a twenty minute drive – I should have known," she said.

"After you," Logan said.

"What is this place? It looks like Disneyland!" said Colin.

"Oh, the sun!" complained Finn.

"I don't understand," Rory said. "Why are we in Stars Hollow?"


"Running right on schedule," Logan said, checking his watch.

"We better have a coffee break on that schedule of yours, mate, 'cause my head's killing me," Finn moaned.

"I believe this place offers coffee; Rory would know," Logan said, smirking.

Rory looked up at the sign. "Weston's does serve coffee, yes, but it's not the best in Star's Hollow. You should have done your research," she teased.

"Well who does serve the best coffee, then?" Logan asked.

"And how far away is it?" said Finn, now shielding his eyes from the sun, leaning on Colin for support.

"Get a grip, man," Colin said, pushing him off.

"Well, I mean, I don't want to mess with the integrity of the event," Rory said, a gleam in her eye.

"No, no," assured Logan, "my research shows that this town could only encompass a maximum of four city blocks worth of a downtown, so please, lead the way."

"Ass," Rory mumbled under her breath.

"What was that, Ace?" Logan asked dangerously.

"Nothing," she replied sweetly. "This way, boys," she said, leading them down the sidewalk.

"I'm serious; it really does look like Disneyland," Colin said as they walked.

"I don't think I've ever been to Disneyland," Finn mused.

"Yes you have," said Logan.

"Never!" Finn said in astonishment.

"Yes you have," Logan asserted.

"When?" Finn asked.

"A couple of years ago. We all went, don't you remember?" Logan said, directing the question to Colin.

"Oh yeah; but I think it was Disney World, not Disneyland," Colin said.

"Why the hell don't I remember this?" Finn wondered.

"Oh, you were drunk the whole time," Colin said offhand.

"Oh," Finn said, as if that explained it all.

Rory rolled her eyes. "How is it that you don't know the difference between Disneyland and Disney World? Don't they have different castles? And, more importantly, aren't they on opposite sides of the country?"

"Good point," Logan admitted. "But when you've seen one overcrowded theme park, you've seen them all," he said with a shrug.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, I've never been to either, but it amazes me the places you go and the things you do that you take for granted."

"Hold the phone – you've never been to Disney World? Ace, I'm surprised at you. Every kid goes to Disney World," Logan said.

"Not this kid," she said. "We didn't exactly have the funds to take lavish trips every year."

"Please," scoffed Colin. "The Gilmores? They came over on the Mayflower. They have more money than you can shake a stick at."

"Ok, we're coming back to the stick comment later," Logan said.

Rory snuck a sideways glance at Logan as they neared the diner. "Well, I didn't really talk to my grandparents a whole lot until high school; my mom raised me on her own away from the family."

"That's right," Logan said, remembering. "The black sheep who managed to escape Hartford society. Remind me later to ask her how she managed that one."

"Well, it's pretty easy from what I hear; just get pregnant and refuse to get married," Rory said wryly. "Then run away. That'll pretty much do it."

"Oh my God," interrupted Colin, "we're in fucking Mayberry. Look, an honest-to-God old-fashioned soda shop! And look, the guy inside looks like he belongs in a freakin' barbershop quartet."

They all stopped and looked in the window as Taylor waved enthusiastically at Rory. Rory gave a half-hearted wave back and pulled the guys along with her to avoid a confrontation.

"What's the rush, Ace?" Logan said, amused.

"You wanted coffee, didn't you? I give you…the world's best coffee!" she said, gesturing to Luke's.

"William's Hardware?" Finn asked, confused.

"No," Rory said slowly, "Luke's Diner." She led the door. "Bar or table?" she asked.

"This is more of a table kind of meeting," Logan said. He scanned the room and selected a four person table, pulling out a chair for Rory.

"What a gentleman," she cooed in a Southern drawl.

"You know, those curtains would make a hell of a dress," Logan replied as they sat down.

"I am offended. I always thought I was more of a Melanie than a Scarlett," she said.

"Oh, I believe you have an inner Scarlett," Logan intimated, "you just need to let her out more often."

Rory didn't know how to respond. Luckily, she didn't have to.

"Hey, Rory!" said Lane perkily, pencil poised to take their orders. "I though you'd be in class."

"Well there's been a change of plans for the day – just for the day, right?" Rory said, suddenly worried. She looked to Logan for confirmation.

"Relax, it's just for the day," Logan said, deciding not to play with her too much.

"Good," said Rory. "Lane, this is Logan, Colin, and Finn," she said, making introductions.

"What's up," said Colin.

"Hello gorgeous," said Finn. "Might you be the bringer of coffee? And your number?"

"You're not a Korean doctor, so you have no chance," Rory said, warning Finn.

"I could be a Korean doctor," he said without blinking an eye.

"That is so impossible on so many levels. Coffee all around, please," Rory said, cutting off any more flirting on Finn's part.

"Ok," Lane said, going back to the counter.

"So," Rory said, "let's get down to business, shall we?" She folded her hands on the table and waited. "Well?"

"Well," Logan said, "as you know, this is for a smaller event. In our little collective we all play equal roles, and the role of event host is a rotating one. We," he said, gesturing to the guys at the table, "are in charge of the junior class event."

"And part of the even takes place here?" Rory said, venturing a guess.

"She's a smart one," said Colin dryly.

"Bingo, love, now tell me more about your friend…" Finn asked as Lane walked over with their coffee.

"I have a boyfriend. Do you want food?" Lane asked without skipping a beat.

Rory looked at everyone else in askance. Logan answered for them. "No thanks, coffee is good for now."

"Ok," Lane said, already taking care of the next customer.

"How cold the wind blows from Korea!" Finn said, taking a sip of coffee. "My God, this is good coffee!"

"It's the best coffee," corrected Rory.

"Well…" Logan said doubtfully.

"What?" Rory said, ready to defend Luke's coffee.

"I mean, you can't very well say it's the best coffee until you've tried all coffee."

"I've had enough coffee to know the good from the bad. Besides, I grew up on Luke's coffee," Rory said.

"But just because you grew up on it doesn't make it the best; in fact, the fact that you were acclimated so young makes it all the more likely that it has the possibility of sucking."

"Luke's coffee does not suck!" Rory exclaimed.

"I didn't say that it sucked, I only said it could suck, and since you have an obvious emotional attachment to it, that only makes you less able to assess its true quality."

Rory just stared.

"Master and Commander, babe," Logan said with a grin. He took a sip of coffee. "This is really good," he said, smirking.

"So if you're done flirting or arguing or whatever the hell you're doing, can we get on with it, please?" asked Colin. "The guy in the corner is starting to freak me out."

Everyone turned to where Colin was looking.

"Oh, don't worry. That's just Kirk," Rory said, returning to her coffee cup.

"Hey, it's Kirk!" Logan said. "Kirk, buddy, care to join us?"

Rory looked flabbergasted as Kirk pulled up a chair.

"How…what…how…" Rory stammered. She pulled herself together. "Ok, I gotta know, how do you two know each other."

"Well, I emailed Kirk when I was checking out Stars Hollow's official web site."

"We have an official web site?" Rory asked, looking at Kirk.

"Why yes, we do," Kirk answered. "I'm the webmaster. I set up a server in my mother's basement, but the town pays for it. She said she wouldn't mind so long as it didn't interfere with her cable television. My mother, not the town."

"Um, ok," Rory said.

"Yeah, so like I was saying, I emailed Kirk when I was looking at the town website. It seemed like the perfect place to host our little… get together, and my man Kirk here seemed to be a great potential facilitator."

"Uh huh," Rory said, taking it all in.

"So…Kirk knows all about – "

"- the surprise birthday party? Yup, he does," Logan said smoothly.

"I have offered my services as Event Coordinator," Kirk said.

"And what does that entail?" Rory asked.

"Well…actually, I'm not sure yet," Kirk admitted. "I am currently awaiting orders from headquarters."

"Headquarters?" Rory asked with raised eyebrows.

"He means us, Ace," Logan clarified with a wry grin.

"Code names! Cool! Can I have one?" Kirk asked.

"Well…" Logan said, thinking.

"I've got one for ya!" Colin piped up.

"Um, maybe you better tell me about the event," Rory interrupted.

"Ok. So here's the plan," Logan said with a smile. "We are doing a scavenger hunt," he explained.

"A scavenger hunt? In Stars Hollow? Doesn't sound like it's on the same level as all your other extravagant events," Rory said.

"Well, it's a regional scavenger hunt," Colin said.

"Regional?" questioned Rory. "Regional as in Connecticut or regional as in the planet Earth?"

"Regional as in the Northeast. Canada is off-limits, as is anything south of Maryland and west of Pennsylvania," Logan said.

"Oh well done, mate! Going cow tipping, are we?" Finn asked hopefully.

"Not exactly," Logan said. "We have to find a difficult task for each location we pick, and the locations aren't necessarily going to be the big cities."

"I see," Rory said. "So Stars Hollow is where you will…" she purposefully trailed off, waiting for Logan to fill in the blank.

"Well, that's where you come in, Ace. And you too, Kirk," Logan said, including Kirk.

"We choose the task?" Rory asked incredulously.

"Well, not choose so much as suggest and facilitate," Logan said.

"Well, I just don't know how you're going to do anything without Taylor's approval," Rory said, shaking her head.

"Taylor Doose, right?" Logan asked, remembering the website.

"Yes, we'll need to run our plans by Taylor," added Kirk.

"Well, Taylor doesn't have to know everything," suggested Logan.

"Are you kidding me?" Rory said. "He's watching us through that window right now," she said, pointing with her thumb.

The whole table looked through the picture window between Luke's and the Soda Shop. Sure enough, there was Taylor, looking concerned and then pretending to go about his business when he saw them staring back.

"So what?" Colin said with a shrug.

"Taylor practically runs the town. You don't understand. When people say they're fighting against The Man, he's The Man," Rory explained.

"Well if he's the man, it should be no problem," joked Logan. "Well we'll just keep things quiet," he continued. "Grease a few palms."

"Wait, are you saying you intend to bribe town officials?" Kirk said.

"No, Kirk, pretty much just you," Logan said.

"I see." Kirk reconsidered his impending opposition. "Carry on."

Rory sighed, obviously forcing patience. "Ok, so what did you have in mind for this stop on your-" Rory used air quotes, " 'regional' scavenger hunt?"

"Some simple little task. Something impossible to steal, something crazy to do, something ridiculous."

"Ridiculous we have," Rory said dryly. "But I do not want you going around town pranking people or stealing anything."

"Relax, ok? No one's gonna get punk'd, and if we steal anything, we're certainly going to return it," Logan assured her.

Rory sat back with her arms folded, a frown on her face.

"I am willing to run interference on this operation – for a small fee, of course. But if you'll excuse me, I have to rendezvous at the previously appointed location for comestibles with a certain party," Kirk said, getting up from the table and leaving the restaurant.

"What was that all about?" Colin asked, confused.

"He had to go home for lunch with his girlfriend," Rory explained, picking at her nails.

Logan's cell phone rang. He flipped it open and answered. "Hello?"

"No!" Rory said, making a slashing motion across her throat.

"Hold on," Logan said, holding his hand over the speaker. "What?"

Rory pointed to the sign. "No cell phones!"

"Seriously?" Logan asked. "It's freezing outside!"

"Seriously!" Rory answered. "Luke will kill you. Go outside!"

"Ok, ok," Logan said, grabbing his coat walking out the door.

"So I have to be a Korean doctor?" said Finn randomly.

Rory and Colin just looked at him, then began to laugh. "Lane," she called, "I think we're going to need some menus over here," she said with a gleam in her eye.

"God bless you," Finn said.


Logan was aimlessly pacing the sidewalk in front of Luke's as he talked. He only noticed Dean's presence when Dean was standing there in a hard hat, staring at him.

"Um, listen, I'll call you back. Ok, later," he said, flipping closed the phone. "Nice to see you again," he offered. Dean just snorted. "Um…" Logan said, looking around. "Can I help you?"

"Just don't tell me you're here to work on scenes from Romeo and Juliet," Dean said with a humorless laugh.

"Excuse me?" Logan asked, confused.

"Nevermind," Dean said. They stood in silence for a moment.

"So, you come to visit Rory?" Dean said sarcastically.

Logan evaluated Dean before speaking. "Look, no offense to your girlfriend or whatever, but it's not what you think, ok? I mean, don't get me wrong, Rory is a great girl, but she's…" Logan paused, searching for the right words... "she's a girlfriend kind of girl."

"And that's not your kind of girl?" Dean asked.

"Not really, man, no," Logan replied. "So don't worry, Chachi; Joanie's all yours," he said with a smirk.

"Gee, thanks. Nice to know she's not your type," Dean said.

"Well…" Logan said, "I wouldn't exactly say that." Dean looked at him incredulously, but Logan just continued. "I mean, she's smart and funny and beautiful, and surprises you constantly with how willing she is to just take an adventure…" Logan realized Dean had a murderous glint in his eyes. "But, hey, like you say…she's not really my type," he said casually. "Right?"

"Right," Dean said warily.

"Listen, you wanna join us? I think we're upgrading our coffee to lunch," Logan offered.

"No, I've got to get to work," Dean said, adjusting his hat.

"Right. See ya 'round, sport," Logan said.

"Yeah…see ya," Dean said. He walked away without a backward glance.

Logan glanced through the window at Rory talking and laughing with his friends. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Nah," he said to himself. "Not my type," he said, trying to convince himself. He straightened his coat and went back into Luke's.


Phew! That was a long one. Next chapter: more fun Lorelai conversations, and a surprising turn of events. Perhaps a breakup on the horizon? Oh yes, and please leave reviews! I love them! Especially looooong ones!