Chapter Three---Secret Oath
The hospital loomed before him, menacing and frightening. All he held dear lay in that hospital. Squall raced into the emergency room, Fujin and the others close behind.
"Where is she? My sister- where is she!" The nurse calmly explained to him that he was not allowed to see his sister now.
"Where is she! I have to see her, she needs me!" The nurse again told him he was not allowed to see her. Seifer not so kindly explained to her that, if they were not allowed to see Ellone, he would make the rest of her soon to be very short life as painful as humanly possible. She pointed him to room 1314.
"..Ell?" Squall entered quietly, greatly disturbed by the site of his beloved baby sister on the bed, deathly still, pale and connected to various wires and tubes, the eerie echo of her heart monitor threatening Squall with the possiblity of flatlining.
"Ell." He sat beside her, taking a tiny hand in his larger one and closing his eyes. He couldn't lose Ell too. Losing his mother had already settled a cold, throbbing ache in his heart but Ell...Ell couldn't leave him.
"Excuse me...Squall?" The woman in the door way seemed kind, but Squall scowled at her anyways.
"...We're fairly sure she'll be fine in a few days. She's suffered minor head trauma and fracture her arm. Oh, and dislocated her hip. She won't be walking for a few months but she should recover nicely. A slight limp perhaps but nothing therapy can't ---" Squall stood now, unholy rage in his stormy blue-grey eyes.
"Therapy? No amount of therapy is going to 'fix' what happened. Her mother isdead. She saw the whole thing. Ell is 9 years old. Do you have any idea what this could do to her? Blacking out in your car as your mother screams, not knowing whose going to die? She's going to remember this for the rest of her life. Therapy doesn't fix those things." Seifer proceeded to show the doctor out of the room and sat beside Squall.
"She's ok now. Hold on to that." Squall looked at him with a confused expression. Seifer glanced at the girl on the bed and sighed.
"I'm not going to tell you I'm sorry because she's not dead. I'm not going to tell you it's going to be ok, because it may not be and if she lives, it's going to be a long hard road ahead. But she's alright for the moment, so be thankful for that. Just remember...we're here for you too." Squall turned and true enough, Laguna, Fujin and Quistis were seated in chairs, tired and solemn expressions ont heir faces. Squall nodded.
"Thanks."
Colbalt eyes opened and glanced around curiously. Where was she? Then she remembered.
The car, the scream of brakes, the smell of gas and her mother telling her to be strong. Ellone knew that her mother could not have possibly survived the horrendous gash in her head or left side. She also knew that she herself was the cause of her mother's death. Ellone pondered this. Raine had seen the pile up start. Raine had spun the car to her side, taking the hit full force before the car flipped and landed on the driver's side.
She'd done it to save her daughters life. Because that's what mother's did. They washed, cared and loved their children with all their hearts and when it came down to life or death, they choose their children's life over theirs.
Because that's what mother's did.
Squall sat beside her, alseep in the hosiptal chair. Fujin was on the floor, alseep in a corner. Two blonde people she didn't recognize were on the right side of her bed and her father was next to Squall.
"Squall?" Squall stirred a bit and stilled. A giggle escaped her mouth and she tried again.
"Squally?"
"Ell...too early...go back to bed..."
"Squally, wake up." Squall sat up and rubbed his eyes and looked at her. Suddenly it all came back to him and he resisted the urge to hug her. She was probably still in pain.
"Ell...you're ok..." Ell nodded.
"Mom's..."
"I know."
"It's not your fault..."
"I know. Mom...mom did what she thought was best...she did it for me. I'm sorry it took her away from you though."Tears formed in Ell's eyes.
"You could never take her away Ell. Mom will always be in our hearts. So she'll never really be gone." Ell nodded, wiped her tearsand yawned.
"Who are they?"
"That's Seifer and Quistis. They're my new...friends." Ell grinned at him. She was glad her brother was making friends. He seemed so lonely...
"...Squall...you should be at school!" Squall laughed a bit. Ell was so much like their mother.
"I'd rather be here with you." Ell wrinkled her nose.
"It's too boring here. I've only been awake five minutes and I'm bored already!" Squall pretened to be hurt.
"I'm not interesting enough for you?"
"...No. But if you go to school and learn something, maybe you'll actually grow a personality." Oohh, little bugger had jokes.
"She got you there, Princess. I like her." Seifer grinned at him and Squall rolled his eyes. Greaaaat.
"You shut up."
Squall, Quistis and Fujin walked in late for third hour. Seifer went for lunch. The teacher was not happy.
"Why are you late? I'm sure you know that school starts at--" Squall cut her off with a glare.
"My mother died." The teacher started and went back to the lesson, flustered that Squall not only had a good reason for being late, but Squall had also managed to make her look like a fool.
Seifer didn't bother showing untill fourth, which was their gym class. Squall and Fujin sported their normal attire of long, loose black sweats,white wife beaters and tennis shoes. Seifer and Quistis however donned black shorts and in Seifer's case a wife beater. Quistis had chosen a light weight, long sleeve shirt.
Insane, if you asked Fujin.
"Fujin..." By the way Squall's words trailed off and he looked at her with concern in those blue depths, he noticed. Fujin scowled.
"...I don't want to talk about him, Squall. There's nothing anyone can do. A restraining order isn't going to stop him, Squall. " Squall frowned.
"...You've gotten one before?" Fujin never shared much and it was obvious it was hard for her to do so, even while venting her rage at her benching station.(1)
" Three actually. The first time..." Fujin trailed off remembering that awful night. The way her mother screamed, how the rain soaked her 9 year old form to the bone as the siren lights blinded her and carried her mother away to the hospital.
"The first time...he was waiting for us after we got home. Mom had taken me shopping." Fujin smiled, almost afraid to do so, as if the memory would shattered if she smiled.
"She wound up in ICU(2) and lost the baby." Squall said nothing, only added more weights but Fujin noticed the concern in his eyes was losing the battle against rage.
"The second time, mom wasn't there. We'd moved, to some apartments just barely inside the school's boundries. I walked in and he was sitting on the couch, a weird grin on his face..." Fujin could still feel the way her father's breath on her neck, the stench of alcohol and his weight nearly crushing her.
Sometimes she wished he had continued abusing her sexually. Because right after he violated his own daughter, he tossed her around like a rag doll. Through the bathroom door, cracked her head against the tile counter in the kitchen and threw her clean through her bed room wall and thenout the first floor window.
"I couldn't walk for a week after that. The management evicted us for destruction of property. And this last time... this last time he didn't leave. Well... he did..." Squall put his hand over hers and closed his eyes. How could anyone hurt her like that? Especially her own father?
"Mom and I were in the hospital for two days and when we got back, he was waiting. But he didn't go into one of his rages. He was sober this time. Said he got a job and was going to take care of us." Squall touched her shoulder as she sat up.
"And your back?"
"Said I was getting disrespectful with him and I had to be set straight. Against the wall." Fujin shook her head, not wanting his pity or sympathy. And Squall only knew aboutthe phsyical abuse, not the sexual, not the emtional, not what her father had done to her mother or what he'd done before the restraining orders or after andFujin could only imagine what he'd think of her if she told him.
She might lose the only friend she had.
Squall had left Fujin alone for lunch, diverting Seifer and Quistis' attention from her absence by talking. Nonstop. About nothing in particular. Of course this had driven Seifer nuts and as he drug his hands through his hair, Squall noticed his bandless wrisits just as Quistis stood and something clattered to the floor. Squall turned to look and found a four-inch pocket knife and a small tube of exacto knives on the floor beside Quistis shoes.
"...Quistis...you dropped...some uh, stuff." Quistis quickly took them from Squall's hand but as she did, he gripped her wrist and pulled up her sleeve. He didn't like what he found. Angry blue eyes looked between her and Seifer. Seifer looked away.
"...Just...it's not..." Seifer stumbled over his words. What did you say at a moment like this? Quistis yanked her hand away and glared at her friend.
"It's none of your damn business. Just leave it alone." Then she was gone. Seifer and Squall were alone, neither knowing how to deal with the thoughts and emotions that swirled around inside.
And it's when you're all alone that you realize you need help.
But no one's around to hear you cry.
A.n: oooh such the sadness. REVIEW!
