A/N: It kinda wrote itself, bit of a filler - next round is Infinity War.
"I haven't been afraid since I've known you."
- Paula Alquist, Gaslight (1944)
"You've met someone," she smiles, her hand a weight on his that spoke of broken promises and unexplored possibilities. "Do not mourn for us, Steve." Peggy always had the ability to read people and see through their hardened dispositions. Fortunately for her and unfortunately for him, Steve had never bothered to put a facade on in front of her - or had at one point, and had miserably failed since. With her, there had never been a need to pretend.
"Peggy.." he begins. Initially and admittedly, he had referred to Diana in the past through elusive references befitting of the woman. However, with her worlds apart, he had been thinking and talking of her more often.
"She must be a wonderful woman," Peggy persisting on the topic of Diana. He chuckles at the irony of her words. Wonder Woman - the endearing and awe-inspiring title that the public had given her.
"She sure is Peggy, she sure is," he agrees amicably.
"Then why have you been hiding her from me!" Peggy trades her soft caress for a light slap on his arm. Steve can only smile in return; clarity is becoming more of a rare and fleeting thing with Peggy.
Steve pretends to shrink away from her hitting. "She's busy," he simply supplies.
Peggy peers up at him in scrutiny. "I've heard that line many times before, Steve." With Peggy's colorful and busy legacy coupled with her marrying a military man and fostering an extensive family - he has no doubts about the ploys and troubles with time she had.
And again bitter, satirical irony has it that the woman who would finally introduce him to something new, would use the one line he had used countless of times on his failed dates - courtesy of planning by either Stark or Natasha.
"She's uh, busy saving the world, Peggy," he continues. "The universe, actually," he corrects. "She is Wonder Woman."
There is a two second pause. One to simply hear his words, and the second to actually digest them.
Peggy's eyes widen. "Wonder Woman?" she repeats. "As in, the Wonder Woman?" She demands clarification, as if the superhero is beyond that of even Steve's league. Most of the time, he thinks she is.
"You don't think I have it in me to get someone like her?" Steve cajoles.
Peggy rolls her eyes.
"I don't think anyone has it in them to get her, Steve," she retorts, but then leans back into her chair. Her gaze on him is new, reassessing - matronly. Steve can't help but to feel as if he has found himself in the throes of some new challenge and does his best not to squirm in his seat.. "You would be wise to not let this one get away this time," she concludes.
"I thought you were going to say I didn't deserve her," Steve laughs, but finds a knot in his chest. Self-doubt had always been his weakness.
"I'm sure she would have turned you away if that was the case."
"Peggy.." he drags her name out.
The two share a meaningful look together and burst out in toned laughter. He will miss this, he surmises - when she passes and leaves him. He will miss the time they share now, the time they had before, and forever - the time that had been stolen from them. But he vows, as the nurse ushers into Peggy's room with a tray of food and pills, that he will do his best to be present. To enjoy the now - to cherish her as he would have back then - no matter how fleeting her hours may be.
Yet perchance, fleeting may have been a misnomer.
In the wake of mourning, Steve finds his friend and loved one from a lifetime ago gone from this earth and the woman who he wishes to shelter with and steal some strength from worlds away.
And not for the first time again, Steve is alone and the world finds its heroes at fault once more. He has slept for decades, but suddenly, his eyes feel tired as they fight to navigate the bird through the heavy rain.
"You sure you're good, Cap?" Barton claps his shoulder as he enters the cockpit of the craft. His eyes dart towards the co-pilot seat, asking for an invitation Steve isn't too inclined to give.
But Barton's intentions are pure, and maybe - as the laughter of his freed friends warm the air, Steve isn't really alone.
Just tired.
His free arm reaches down to grab the spare helmet. "Are your wings as good as your aim?"
Barton rolls his eyes. "They don't call me Hawkeye for nothing."
And maybe, just maybe, as he shares the burden of flying the bird through the storm, being tired is just all there will be. Briefly - jealousy - he thinks back to Barton's farm. His white-picket fence, red apple orchard, and rosy cheeked family. He thinks of the comfort, the warmth - the reward - of coming home that the man gets to look forward to at some point of the conclusion of his missions and his stomach turns in on itself. He also thinks of the stolen kisses and confessions shared on that farm - but he quickly dismisses those thoughts as soon as they enter his head. There would be another time to dwell on them.
In conclusion, Steve Rogers is a jealous man, but Captain America - as shunned and detested by international governments as he is, can't afford to entertain that feeling for too long. He had his chance at a companion - but with Peggy, he wonders which part of him she would have prefered: the stupid, confident boy that jumped over a grenade, or the presumptuous hero that did not know when to stop - to quit and walk away.
He knows the answer, as exhibited by the legacy she had left behind, and again, feels the ugly head of greed and remorse face him again.
Steve Rogers lost Peggy Carter a long time ago and he had to accept that.
But perhaps, he thinks, clutching the worn watch in his pocket, both these men warring inside him had someone else - has someone else - to hold onto, to find strength in. He hadn't heard from her nor the god from Norse myths in a while; he can't imagine even having a way to contact her at all either. But Diana exists in his life as a failsafe - a last, and possibly, misplaced resort to have an essence of what he wanted a lifetime ago.
Peggy and their promises together are all but a want for someone he hadn't been for in awhile, but Diana - he shakes his head. In some ways, they are the same. Stuck in the past but molded to the present. He could build something with her, if not, find a way to become someone beyond history plaques, with her. Unlike him, she had lived through the decades; repetitively loved and lost with no qualms to disrupt the cycle. He could be a little more like her.
Unfortunately, he just had to catch her again.
"I think your friend could use you back there, Cap." Clint interrupts his thoughts. Steve's attention refocuses on the present, back to the handle clutched in his hands and the darkness and light of the stars and space surrounding them. Confident in Barton's ability to steer the bird by himself, not to mention the integrated computer system that could easily do it for the both of them, Steve nods his head and leaves the cockpit in favor of the company of his friends.
Everyone nods and some clap his back at his entrance, but Sam Wilson is the only one to see beyond his bravado and steal him away for some time. Steve appreciates the gesture, the man's background and unselfishness - but it's not him who needs the debriefing - the time to decompress and walk away from the mission. It's Bucky.
Bucky.
The best friend he never thought of seeing again until recently. At first, he had viewed the man's resurgence in his life as a blessing - but then he learned about the subjugation, the terror, and Hyrdra's everlasting imprint on his body and wondered if it was just him being selfish again in his want for the past. But Bucky needed - needs help. Help that he didn't think he could solely provide and Steve would do his best to bring the remnants of his old friend back together again. It was the least he could do.
Although, Bucky Barnes is an equally difficult man to track as Diana. Even in the tiny confines of the aircraft, he has seemingly blended into the shadows of the bird and has successfully isolated himself from everyone else; forearm resting on his thigh, head bent over his knees - his whole posturing screams of efforts to deflect all approaches, but he fails with Steve. Fails with the only man who has known him from a lifetime before.
"Thanks for the help again, Bucky," Steve takes the seat to his best friend's right - effectively and finitely hiding him from everyone else in the jet. Bucky nods, temporarily seeming like he will make a move to further cut himself off from everyone, but a heartbeat passes and he finally leans back into his seat and presses his head against the headrest.
"Anytime." Bucky's eyes remain shut, but the creases on his forehead are no longer there from the time he had and has been spending fighting Hydra's training and nightmares. "You did most of the work anyway."
"No," Steve chuckles, steering his gaze at the empty seats in front of them. "I'm pretty sure all that camera work was yours." He admits. And it was. With Natasha initially piloting the jet for them, Steve had been the only one to leave the jet - but Bucky too had played his role in the crime. Hijacking the camera and taking over the technological portion of the mission, he had provided Steve and the rest of the Avengers the cover they needed to escape the detainment center.
"True," Bucky agrees. "Still have to catch you up on modern tech. Have you caught up with your list, yet?" He plays into Steve's effort of easy conversation.
Steve shakes his head. "No, not yet - I'm still on Star Wars." He grimaces, thinking of how behind both he and the movie were on the intricacies of foreign life and aliens.
"Wait until you get to the wizards." Bucky smirks, and Steve can't help the momentary groan escaping his lips.
Wizards.
It is only a matter of time before they encounter one too. Wanda and her abilities aside, Steve doesn't know whether to dread the day when his next enemies start wielding broomsticks and wands.
However, the silence that ensues their conversation belies the levity of the reality that is to befall upon them. This topic isn't one for too many ears to hear, but he supposes that sans the Maximoff twins, no one on the jet really had the superhuman abilities to pick up on their low voices.
Both unfortunately and fortunately, for all the brainwashing they did to Bucky - James Barnes was and will always be the braver and blunt of their weird pair: "So Wakanda…" He turns to him for the first time throughout the flight. "Do you think..?" He doesn't have the will to finish the sentence, but Steve takes over for them both and nods his head.
"T'Challa offered and with Tony -" Steve cuts himself off. " - you have a choice, Bucky. You don't have to if you don't want to. We can figure it out together." Like we always do, Steve doesn't finish aloud.
Bucky stares at him for a long time before he shakes his head. "I'd hate to get in the way of you and your lady friend."
Steve stutters at his words.
"Natasha wouldn't stop talking about it while you were down there," Bucky explains. "She sounds wonderful." He cajoles.
It's Steve's turn to throw his head into his hands. Uncharacteristically of the new Bucky, he pats his back. "All jokes aside, I need to be better if you ever want to introduce me to her."
Steve raises his head again. "Bucky…"
"I think I've actually met her once," he muses. "But my mind's a mess and it was probably on horrible terms."
The two men trade looks. It is final, the decision. They can't continue with the charade they're carrying right now. Not when Bucky is a time bomb threatening to destroy the farce of Tony's Sokovia Accords and temporary peace. As long as Hydra exists, as long as those words lay as dormant triggers in his head - Bucky can't join him. Not yet at least.
"First stop is here," Natasha's voice blares through the jet. "Maximoff twins - it was a pleasure breaking you out." The jet is far smoother than the helicopters of the past, and soundlessly and silently lands on the makeshift landing zone. The interior lights of the jet flicker on as the two twins saunter towards the opening platform - and them.
Stark's base.
Albeit an ironic and unsafe place to drop them off at, they had both insisted that they had belongings there that they would like to collect before they go dark like the rest of them.
Wanda is hesitant to meet his and Bucky's eyes, but the older twin, Pietro, brazenly extends an arm out for Steve to grasp and shake; he had been on the other side of the fight - against his sister, but a turncoat all the same; family is family, and Steve couldn't blame him for fighting for his beliefs. "Thank you, Spangled Man." He also moves to shake Bucky's hand - who grunts in amusement at Steve's tried and tired nickname.
"Keep in contact," Steve speaks over Bucky. "You two are always welcome ." They may have met on the wrong terms, but they had been victims to the grisly side of humanity.
Pietro nods for the both of them as they leave the jet without another word.
"I'll miss those two," Clint says in their absence.
Sam raises his eyebrow at him. "Yeah right, old man," he recalls Pietro's fond nickname for him. Clint rolls his eyes and saunters back towards Natasha.
Steve and Bucky don't get a chance to watch the twins head into the Avenger's previous base as the jet's mouth closes again and begins another ascent into the skies. Silence reckons on the pair until Sam decides to take the seat across from them.
Steve isn't perturbed by the man's presence, but Bucky and he share a weighted look.
Sam chuckles and rolls his shoulders back. "Man, I still don't know if you're worth all the trouble we went through."
"Sam -"
"But it has been a ride, following you, Cap," Sam redirects his attention to him. Steve doesn't deserve this man's loyalty and awe, but he has it. And he doesn't want to discredit its worth.
"I'm going to keep my head down at my sister's place, but if you ever need me - well," he nods towards Bucky. "You pack a punch. I'll be glad to have you on my side too," he concludes.
And not a moment later, it is his turn to be dropped off too. The next member to be sent home is their newly added accomplice, AntMan - to which Barton has to shake him awake and half-carry him off the jet. He can only manage poorly composed gibberish in his bid of farewell before only he, Bucky, and the two agents are left. And even then, Barton is rushed to his homestead.
"And then there were three.." Natasha muses as she leaves the cockpit to join them. She eyes Bucky, memories of troubled encounters doubtlessly crossing her mind, before she sits down. "Wakanda will be a few hours away if either of you would like to get some beauty sleep."
Neither of them move.
Natasha doesn't miss a beat. "I thought so. The coordinates are in the jet, but you'll still have to manually fly once we cross the border - Wakanda's heavily fortressed and guarded. Their tech doesn't discriminate and will scramble our program." At this she directs her focus to Bucky, who merely shrugs and moves to take solace in the cockpit.
"Cheeky," Natasha comments as he leaves their view.
"He's better than before," Steve states.
Natasha makes a show of raising her hands up. "I only kid, Cap," she defends. "You think Wakanda could really turn him around?" she asks, voice laced with undertones he doesn't want to decipher: Black Widow. The Black Widow. Natasha is only another representation of the monstrosity still running amok.
"T'Challa was really convincing and he said if nothing else works, his sister could try other methods.." His voice trails off. Steve hopes those alternate ways would never be explored with Bucky; he had even told the Black Panther that even before the last resorts were to be utilized, to contact him. As much as he doubts his own luck against Hydra's brainwashing, he would rather give it a go than subject Bucky to another round of experimentation.
"So that's it for us." Natasha leans back in her chair, and Steve ignores the reference for what it blatantly is. "How long do you think he will take?"
Steve looks back to where Bucky is, no doubt alert and staring at the night sky. "I'll give him as long as he needs," Steve surmises.
"And if we need him sooner?"
Steve had told her that he didn't want to cross that bridge until it was time.
He just happens to be the worst antagonist for said time.
Clapping Bucky's shoulder feels surreal. Seeing him again, forehead uncreased, eyes unhardened - he owes T'Challa. His friend - his true friend, meets him with an easy smile that he wishes to preserve.
"It's been awhile, Steve," he greets.
"Heard you got yourself into trouble again?"
- End Interlude II -
A/N 2: I have an Ao3 now, working on slowly moving this story there. But any updates will be done on both platforms so no need to jump there. Otherwise, if the writing bug is still here I'm feeling two additional fics coming - one for Natasha and Diana? AU from this one? How's that sound?
And a complete separate one for Bucky.
Also sorry if the time skipping was a little messy. It was just a bunch of jumping around to go over Steve's POV from early TWS, Age of Ultron, and Civil War.
