Author's Note: This part is written in present tense for a more dramatic effect.
The sun arrives slowly as if in reverence to the night. The streets are still dark, only a glimpse visible of the blinding light to come. All the animals that spent the night together gossiping over the new arrivals say good bye to one another and begin their trek home. Before the sun hits the streets from above, all evidence of their gathering will be gone.
A lone figure wanders the paths between the homes, barely noticing the scattering animals, all his concentration on the bricks he walks on. His sole reason for living is lost, and he the cause. It is only now with the knowledge that his best friend is gone, that he realizes he was in love with the man. His laugh always made him smile and to know that he will never hear that sound again, clenches his heart and makes it hard for him to breathe. He finds himself stopping next to a building and lowering himself down to sit. He is so close to sobbing his pain, but there is a barrier between his emotions and his physical self, one he cannot surmount. The struggle leaves him nauseous. He closes his eyes and tries to squeeze out a tear, something to honor his friend and the pain he feels, but nothing comes out. It has been years since he tried to cry at his parent's funeral. Even then he failed, his sister declaring him heartless. It was the last time they ever spoke.
He gives up the struggle realizing he will never mourn the way he is supposed to. Knowing John and his essence will never know he tried. A bird would never understand when he says he loves him. And how silly is it to tell a bird you love them? Yet, he whispered it to the green parakeet as soon as he was left alone. With the shock wearing off, the pain had begun and he could no longer look at the bird not John. So he ran out into the night, and was looking for an out from all the thoughts that rushed through him. He was not the one dead, so why were all the memories of his time with John flowing through his head?
Alone. That is what he will be from now on. Always apart from the person he cared most for. It was odd for him that he had given up so soon. If it was anyone else or any other project, he would keep searching for a way to change the outcome. But it was John, and he always somehow knew John would leave him, some day. And Elizabeth had been so sure, there was no way he could rebuke her. Radek had patted him on the back again, telling him to not blame himself. For possibly the first time, he had listened to Radek. There is no place for guilt in the empty abyss of his soul.
A flapping noise disturbs the silence of his thoughts. A flutter of bright green flies toward him, coming out of the light of the sun like an angel. Rodney can almost see John in the determined expression the bird gives. A smile gifts his mouth. To know that for all time, John will be able to fly unhindered by machine, it makes his heart unclench and something warm replaces the cold ache. He holds up his arm and the bird lands on it. It might not be John, the person that he was, but it is his soul free as it should always be.
"I love you John."
A whisper comes off the wind. "I love you too Rodney."
