Chapter 8
Worries
"Run!" Kairi shrieked, "Run! Run!"
Dilan winced. The two-year-old and he were out in the garden, and they were both running around in circles. He, trying desperately to catch her, and she thinking they were playing a fun game.
Finally, Dilan managed to tackle her. They were sent sprawling. Dilan hit his head, and Kairi screamed with laughter.
"Again!" she cried, "Again!"
Dilan moaned.
"Kairi, I can't play anymore. You're killing me, here…"
"Again," she demanded.
'Will she ever run out of energy?' Dilan wondered.
Today, it didn't seem like Kairi would. Dilan had been babysitting her all morning, and she had been happy and hyperactive the entire time. They had played tag, hide-and-seek, piggy-back and chase, and she showed absolutely no signs of letting up. The idea that a girl her size had that much energy was terrifying.
Dilan, on the other hand, was beat. He hadn't slept well the night before, and now Kairi was wearing him out. When Kayla had asked him to babysit that morning, he had almost refused. Almost. But, as usual, he hadn't in the end. He never could.
He had been babysitting Kairi her whole life. Dilan had first met Kayla about a year before Kairi was born. They had bonded quickly, though their relationship was then, as it had always been, platonic. Kayla had been married then, married to a man named Cal. Dilan had never liked him. Kayla had always seemed uneasy around him. Dilan soon found out why.
During a conversation with Kayla, it had slipped out: Cal had been abusing her. Dilan hadn't been sure what to do at the time. He now wished that he had given Cal a good beating, but it was too late for that. Not long after, Cal had left the castle, leaving behind a pregnant Kayla.
Dilan, feeling responsible, had helped his friend through her pregnancy, and, once she was born, with her daughter. Somehow, over time, he had realized that he had fallen in love. He had fallen in love with Kairi as a daughter, but he had fallen in love with Kayla in a very different way.
He knew why he loved her. She was pretty, but also smart and kind. They liked the same things, and he enjoyed spending time with her. Even though he knew this, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. Kayla had been hurt by Cal, and she wasn't over it; he could tell. She didn't date, or discuss the possibility of it. Dilan worried that if he, her platonic male friend, her safe friend, approached her, she would never trust him again. He didn't want to lose her or Kairi.
Dilan felt a tug atop his head. Kairi was pulling his hair.
"Up!" She demanded.
"Hey!" he pulled his hair out of her reach. "Watch it, that hurts."
She giggled and let go. Dilan sighed. What to do with her? It would probably be a few more hours before Kayla got a break, and Kairi's grandmother, Krista, was busy dealing with a bad flu outbreak. He had to find a way to get Kairi tired enough to take a nap, and fast.
After a moment, an idea hit him.
"Hey," he said slyly, "How would you like it if we… went into town?"
She stared at him, her eyes huge. Her trademark, toothy smile lit up her face. She nodded quickly.
"Okay, then."
With some effort (Kairi was getting big) Dilan scooped her up and plopped her atop his shoulders. She clapped and laughed.
"Horse!"
Dilan smiled.
"Come on, pardner. Let's head out."
And they were off.
ooo
Elaeus hadn't slept well that night. He tossed and turned. He tried to relax as best he could. But no matter what he did, he couldn't fall asleep. His mind was too active, too busy thinking about the day's events. Too busy worrying.
When he hadn't been able to stand it anymore, Elaeus gave up on sleeping in favor of a walk. Despite the night's chill, he decided to walk out to the arch in front of Rising Falls. That place had always inspired him. Maybe he would even get to see the sun rise. He knew from experience that seeing the sun rise above the falls, seeing the water sparkle in the dawn light, was something else.
Elaeus didn't bother to put a cloak on. He didn't take the lift either. He took the long way. Down the stairs from his room, out to the servants' door a few floors below and around the gravel path that led through the mountains, until he finally reached Rising Falls. All told, the walk only took about two hours, but he was panting by the end of it. It wasn't an easy hike. The mountain trail was steep. No wonder most people chose to use the lifts. But not Elaeus. He liked the walk.
He sat down beneath the arch. The moon was bright tonight, and it gave the old stone arch an eerie, otherworldly glow. Elaeus remembered his history lessons. The arch had been built long ago by the mysterious, unknown people that had once lived in Radiant Garden. No one knew why they had built the arch, for the ancient people of Radiant Garden had kept no records and vanished long ago. If the old kingdom of Hollow Bastion hadn't fallen, and Ansem hadn't led the people to this new land, no one would ever have known that the arch and the castle even existed. Some of the younger children told stories about the arch. They said that the ghosts of the ones who had built it still lurked there. But Elaeus didn't believe that. He liked the old, crumbling arch, and how after all these years, untold years, it still stood, proud and strong.
He sighed and bit his lip. He wished Ienzo was here. He wished he knew why his friend wouldn't talk to him. He felt a dull, aching loneliness well up inside of him.
'What is wrong with him?' he thought.
He couldn't figure it out. It had happened so fast. One day, Ienzo was normal, but on the next, it was as if he had suddenly changed. He hadn't picked up on it at first. After all, Ienzo had always been quiet, a bit odd. It was just how he was. But yesterday, when he had asked him if anything was wrong, Elaeus had finally figured it out. When Ienzo had given him that cold, hard, mistrustful look, he had figured it out. He had done something wrong, and Ienzo was angry with him.
'But what did I do?' he wondered.
Maybe Ienzo was angry that Elaeus was spending more time with the other apprentices. After all, he had been excited about turning eighteen, and he had left Ienzo behind a few times to go to bars. Maybe Ienzo felt left out.
Or maybe, after all these years, he and his friend were finally growing apart. After all, Ienzo was six years younger than he was. Neither of them had cared before, but maybe now Ienzo was ready to have friends his own age. Maybe Elaeus should do the same.
But Elaeus didn't think either theory was correct. No, he was worried that the real reason Ienzo was upset with him was something else entirely, something he didn't even like to consider. Elaeus was worried that maybe, somehow, Ienzo had never liked him to begin with.
Elaeus knew this theory was a little silly, but he couldn't get the idea out of his mind. He thought back on how he and Ienzo had first met, and he wondered. It had been five years ago. Ienzo had been seven and had only just arrived at the castle. He had been cold and quiet and difficult to approach, and he had severely unnerved the other apprentices. All but Elaeus, that is.
At that time, there were only three apprentices. Even, Dilan and Elaeus. Elaeus was thirteen when Ienzo arrived, making it his second year. Dilan and Even were much older than he was, and Elaeus had been lonely. Not only did he miss his family, he didn't feel that he was cut out to be a scientist. He was an awkward, overlarge boy, one who always seemed to do and say the wrong things. He couldn't mix chemicals, he couldn't focus on studying, he couldn't even file papers correctly. If there was something delicate, Elaeus was sure to break it. Elaeus was not stupid; he knew that. But others didn't. They would see he large size and his clumsiness, and immediately assume that he was a big, stupid oaf. Dilan, Even and Ansem were kind to him, but it was a kindness brought on by pity. They pitied the boy who couldn't do anything right.
So, when Elaeus had spotted young Ienzo in the library, he had seen a chance to make a friend. He had started to talk to the young boy. Ienzo hadn't acknowledged him at first, but eventually he had given in, and they had started spending time together. Elaeus was overjoyed. At last, he had a friend! His confidence had risen, and he grew cheerful. He was still not a good scientist, but he tried his hardest and didn't beat himself up over every mistake. With Ienzo's encouragement, he read more books, gained an interest in art and history and decided that, when he turned twenty-one and was allowed to leave Ansem's service, he would become a knight.
At the time, it had seemed that Ienzo was also happy to have a friend. He would only talk to Elaeus, and the two grew closer. But now Elaeus wondered if the friendship was really just one-sided. Was Ienzo just pretending to like him, just as Dilan, Even and Ansem had once done? Did he pity him? Elaeus couldn't stand to think about it. If that was the case, he had no friends. If he had no friends; his world would collapse.
Elaeus sat thinking like this for… he didn't know how long. All he did know was that he must have fallen asleep at some point, for his next memory was of waking up, stiff and cold, some time the next morning.
He sat up and, with a groan, stretched his sore and aching limbs. The rest had done him good, but doing it while sitting up against a stone arch hadn't. He looked up at the sun as he stretched his arms. It was nearly noon. He had really slept. He hoped no one was looking for him. Well, if what he thought about Ienzo was true, probably no one was. He sighed.
"Hey! Elaeus!"
Elaeus turned. The voice had come from far across the Great Maw, and echoed over and over again. He squinted, and spotted a lift coming towards the arch from the castle. There were two people on it. Elaeus recognized them right away, and smiled in spite of himself.
"Dilan! Kairi! Hi!"
He waved and the figures waved back. After a few minutes, the lift pulled into its stop, and Dilan and Kairi stepped off of it. Dilan stepped forward to greet Elaeus, and Kairi followed behind.
"Hey, there, Elaeus. Fancy seeing you here. What's up?"
Elaeus shrugged.
"Just doing some stretches. I came out here last night and fell asleep. I'm a little sore. How about you?'
Dilan nodded at Kairi.
"Babysitting. I'm taking this little devil to town. She won't nap."
Elaeus squinted at Kairi. She grinned.
"Hi, Elly!"
"Hi, there, Kairi. Are you causing your daddy trouble?"
"Elaeus," Dilan said evenly, "I'm not her dad."
Elaeus straightened up.
"Yeah. I know."
He grinned mischievously.
"But you'd like to be."
Dilan blushed scarlet. He shot a nervous look at Kairi.
"Not in front of her," he whispered nervously. "She has ears, you know."
Elaeus smiled at Dilan's nervousness. Practically the whole castle knew how Dilan felt about Kayla, except for Kayla herself, of course, but despite that, Dilan still tried to keep it quiet as much as he could. As Elaeus had expected, Dilan changed he subject.
"So, El, where's Ienzo today?" he asked casually. "Haven't seen him around."
Elaeus stiffened as he was reminded of his and Ienzo's estrangement. He shrugged.
"I don't know."
Dilan gave him a concerned look.
"You look a bit down, Elaeus," he said quietly, "are you and Ienzo… not getting along?"
Elaeus shrugged. He refused to meet Dilan's eyes.
"It's nothing. I don't want to talk about it."
Dilan's look was quizzical, but he didn't pursue the subject.
"Elaeus," he said gently. "Why don't you come to town with us? It might cheer you up."
Elaeus grunted in reply. Dilan walked over and gave him a swift pat on the back.
"Come on. It would do you good."
With a sigh, Elaeus nodded.
"Fine."
"Good! We'd better go, then. Come on, Kairi."
Kairi, who had been examining a cluster of flowers that had sprouted out of the rocks, looked up. Elaeus walked over.
"Let's go, Kairi."
She looked up, and nodded. To Elaeus's surprise, she stood and put her tiny hand in his.
"Go, Elly," she said.
Dilan laughed out loud.
"Well, look at that! Elaeus, you have a little friend. Maybe Kayla should ask you to babysit!"
"Really?"
Kairi looked up at him. Elaeus felt his mood lighten a little. He smiled at the girl.
"Well, Is that true? Are we friends, Kairi?"
Kairi smiled broadly.
"Uh-huh!"
Now, both men laughed.
ooo
That night, Xehanort dreamed.
He floated in darkness once again, but this time, it was the darkness of the castle basement. He could feel himself moving through the tunnels underground, unable to see, but somehow able to know his way. An unexplainable thrill coursed through him. Something was about to happen.
He hit a fork in the path, and for the first time felt doubt. What was he moving towards? Was it good? Should he continue? The longer he was still, the thicker the blackness seemed to grow.
He decided to just go forward, just pick a path, any path, but his feet were glued to the floor. The loud, booming voice came again. It rang in his ears, and through his very being. Still, he could not understand it. He sank to the floor and covered his ears. It did no good. And all the while, the darkness closed in.
"Aah!"
With a yell, Xehanort jerked himself awake. Sweat poured from his skin and stood out cold on his forehead. He was breathing hard and fast. He curled his legs up to his chest and hid his face. He tried to even out his breaths.
They came raggedly at first, but soon his breathing calmed. He looked up at last, and flipped on the lamp next to his bed.
He was in his room, his new room, that is. Dilan and Braig had shown it to him as the final stop on their tour. Though it was only slightly larger than his room in the infirmary, Xehanort liked it. The room contained a wooden desk, a wardrobe, a bed with a finely carved frame, and a floor-length window with a balcony. The walls were painted dark blue. Xehanort had felt at home immediately.
But now… now the room felt threatening, as if something could be lurking behind ever piece of furniture. The walls reminded him of the blackness in his dream, and he didn't think he would sleep again that night.
A spot of movement caught his eye. The window! It was open! Xehanort's head snapped in that direction.
It was only the curtain, rustling in the cool night breeze.
Xehanort lay back in his bed. He was being ridiculous, ridiculous and paranoid. Nothing was coming to get him. There was nothing to be afraid of. He was safe inside the castle.
"My dreams aren't real," he whispered, "My dreams aren't real."
With this thought, he curled up and slept. He did not dream again that night.
