The following weekend came, it was time for Lincoln to do what he did best. Fix his family's drama, at least the best he could.
He had a lot on his plate, figuring out the family dynamic of Lori and Bobby with their kids, especially their oldest daughter, mend things between Ronnie Anne and Sid, make sure Sam and Luna reconcile, and see what's causing Lily to act out the way she is.
It would be a big task, but Lincoln prides himself on being 'The Man with a Plan', and if anyone can get these issues straightened out, it's him. He had to do it, his family was counting on him.
Friday afternoon came, Lily and Lyra coming come from school, Stella coming home from work, and everyone else driving in, Lori and Bobby from their home alongside their daughter Roberta, Ronnie Anne and Sid from the city, Luan and Benny coming with Luna to see Sam, and even Lola who decided to come by, but not along. Lucy, Lisa and Lana had come as well, the latter coming to meet Adelaide, who also came in from the city.
The kids came as well, but for the most part, they would stay in Lyra's room since things were likely to get heated and many of the parents would rather their kids not hear more than they need to.
Bit by bit, everyone had come into Lincoln's house, where the boy was quick to greet them. "Hello family, you're all probably wondering why you're here today."
"We know why we're here, you literally told us why last weekend," Lori pointed out in a slight snobbish fashion.
"You said you're help figure out how to fix this family's issues," Luna said. "Bit of a task honestly."
"Hey, it is a good thing to try, because this family's a bit weird sometimes," Lola said, earning a few glares.
"And so it starts," Luan said. "Lola, I can't wait to see everyone tear you a new one."
"Oh there's plenty for me to work off when it comes to you," Lola said. "There's plenty for all my sisters, I have dirt on all of you."
"Oh there's plenty of dirt I can get on you too, Lola," Lily teased. "I learned a lot from you growing up after all."
"Lily, honey, you may have learned a lot from me, but that doesn't mean you've learned all my tricks," Lola said. "I keep my tracks covered."
"That's what you thought back when you blackmailed everyone," Luna said.
"...Which time?" Lola asked.
"Uh, that one time where, you know, we didn't do something you wanted or something," Luna said.
"You have no idea how little that narrows it down to," Lola said. "Is your memory already going bad? Probably should cut back on the booze, though that would explain why your life is going down the trash heap."
"Oh snap," Sid said, already feeling the tension.
"At least I'm doing something with my life, you're the one still living with Mom and dad," Luna said.
"No duh, I'm only twenty-two, I'm finishing up college," Lola said. "I can easily move out too, I have money, you make bang with pageants."
"Pageants are for little girls," Luan said.
"Hey I manage my money well, I know where to invest, namely daddy's diner," Lola said. "Not to mention that I have a saving's account. Plus with my looks and brains, I can move on to such bigger things. I can be an actor, I can be a manager, I can be whatever I choose. Meanwhile most of you are struggling at the one thing you're good at."
"Hey, I'm not struggling, I'm actually a highly requested entertainer," Luan said. "Kids love my performances. But this isn't about me, I'm not really struggling with much."
"Got that right, I'd say you're one of the more stable sisters," Luna said. "At least among those married."
"Lets just get down to the nitty gritty of things," Lincoln said. "We'll start with you Lori, what's your homelife like these days"
"Busy, like all the time," Lori said. "Being the CEO of the company that started my golfing career is taking its toll."
"Yeah, that is hard work for sure," Stella said, able to relate to that experience.
"Exactly, you totally get me Stella, I have to work a lot to give my family the best they deserve, but I guess I'm just not around enough to really form a bond with any of them," Lori said. "It's probably also why Bobby's always exhausted, he has so many kids to take care of."
"It's no big deal, babe," Bobby insisted. "I just need to get a little better at not constantly getting tired."
"Of course you're tired, you have a lot of kids," Lola said. "Not everyone's cut out for that many kids to look after, just because mom and dad make it look easy doesn't mean it is."
"She's got a point, that's why Benny and I only stuck to one kid so far," Luan said. "Though we have thought about having another."
"Sam and I talked about that too, of course we can't make kids by ourselves obviously," Luna said.
"Hey, I wanted a big family too, is that so bad?" Lori asked. "You understand right Lincoln? You and Stella seem to be trying for a big family. Isn't Stella pregnant with your fourth child?"
"Yeah, she is, I can't say for sure if we'll have as many kids though," Lincoln said.
"You got the best chance to for sure at least," Luna said. "I mean, you had Lyra at a very young age, you've still got the youth to pull this off."
"And the energy," Stella said.
"Ooh, kinky," Sid said, shifting her eyebrows.
This earned a glare from Ronnie Anne, "How is that kinky?"
"She said energy, and you know what you need energy for," Sid said.
"Walking, running, working, moving around in general, lots of things require energy, and those things don't need to be sexual!" Ronnie Anne said. "Like, don't you ever turn it off?"
"I can't help it, I have a dirty mind," Sid said in a cheeky manner.
"No shit, all these years and your sex drive has gotten stronger than ever," Ronnie Anne said. "You know how weird that is?"
"Hey you don't seem to complain when I'm using it to satisfy your urges," Sid pointed out. "After all, I give you the best sex of your life, and each session I always try to one up myself, you never seemed to mind then."
"I really don't need to hear this," an embarrassed Bobby said.
"Welcome to my world, a lot of my sisters brag about their sex," Lori said.
Ronnie Anne herself blushed a bit at Sid's claims, ashamed to admit that she does enjoy their time together, "Even so, you don't seem to turn it off for others, you keep that same sex drive, it makes me feel like I'm just another sexual outlet rather than the only one."
"Hey come on, you know me better than that," Sid said. "At least I've never cheated on you, and Lynn does not count, we never got intimate."
"So, you've never did anything like that with another girl?" Ronnie Anne asked, Lily's eyes briefly widening, now feeling sympathy for the Chang girl. "Lynn was just a one-off thing, wasn't she?"
It was at this point Sid felt her chest tighten, she could fib and say she hasn't, but the fact that she had Lincoln's eyes on her certainly didn't help.
"Hypothetically, what would you constitute as messing around?" Sid asked.
Ronnie Anne narrowed her eyes at her wife, and if Sid didn't give her any proper answers, then there would be a high possibility of being demoted to ex-wife, "You have five seconds to fill me in. Four seconds, three-"
"I...may or may not have helped..." Sid briefly glanced at the youngest Loud, not wanting to embarrass her, she kept things vague "I helped another girl with things, but I didn't go too far."
"What girl?" Ronnie Anne asked.
"I...can't say," Sid said, almost regretting it as Ronnie Anne's glare hardened.
"Sid, talk, now!" Ronnie Anne warned. "If you keep me in the dark, don't bother coming home with me."
"You don't mean that, do you?" Sid asked.
"Wow...this is better than TV," Lola quipped, earning herself a glare from Lana who was right next to her.
"Look, Ronnie, I could say, and I really want to but..." Sid wasn't sure what to do here, if she outed Lily, then she'd not only earn Ronnie Anne's wrath, but it would embarrass her in front of her sisters. If she didn't, then her marriage would be at a high risk of falling apart. "Look, isn't it enough that I told you about it? What's knowing the girl supposed to do?"
Ronnie Anne's eyes narrowed, before standing up and walking towards the door. Sid began to freak out, wondering if Ronnie Anne was really leaving. She can't let it end like this, she doesn't want to lose the girl she loved more than anything.
Fortunately, Lily seemed to have enough, "It was me, Ronnie Anne! Sid was helping me!"
An amazed Sid turned to Lily, feeling relieved while Ronnie Anne slowly turned around, glaring at the youngest Loud, "I want answers."
"Yeah, I think we all do," Lola said.
Lily took a breath before speaking, "Sid caught me...doing something personal, so she gave me something to help me get better results." Lily felt really awkward admitting all this, she could feel Lola's condescending glare but she refused to let it bother her right now. "She just showed me how it works, that's all. She and I didn't do anything inappropriate."
"I mean, Sid did do something inappropriate, but it wasn't as bad as it sounded," Lincoln said. "Well it was but it could have been even weirder."
"I really don't have much of an attraction to Lily anyway, she's really young after all," Sid said.
"I'm not THAT young," Lily said. "I'm old enough to buy a mature rated video game."
"Clearly old enough to allow Sid to basically stick a toy up your lady parts," Lola said. "I mean, it's ironic, you're so boy crazy yet the first time you did something intimate with another person, it was Sid. But it's like Luna said, she can't be the only sister who finds girls attractive, looks like most of the Loud girls have at least that curiosity."
"I'm not interested in girls, I only trusted Sid because I knew her," Lily said. "Believe me, I want a man in me, especially one who's got the goods. Like that cute mechanic from a week ago."
"Who!? Skippy!?" Lincoln asked. "Are you serious with that? I mean, he's older than you."
"Big deal, he's only older by a few years, there's nothing saying we have to marry in our age range," Lily said. "Plus I don't really know any cute guys my age."
"What about Ronnie Anne's cousin, Carlitos?" Luna asked.
"Fuck that, he's not even my type," Lily said.
"Wow...you're brutally honest," Ronnie Anne said. "I mean, first you basically seduce my wife into getting you off, now you're dissing my cousin?"
"I didn't seduce Sid, don't start that crap with me," Lily warned. "The only Loud who actively seduced her was Lynn, because she's such a freaking weirdo."
"Not wrong there, the other day she called me while she was having sex," Lana said. "Sex is fun, I know from experience, but come on, I don't need to hear her getting rammed from behind. Sex is supposed to be private."
"Got that right, no one needs to know what you and I do behind closed doors," Adelaide said.
Meanwhile in Great Lakes, Carl is seen watching a video from his camera of Lana and Adelaide.
"Oh yeah...that's the good stuff," a satisfied Carl said, laying back and enjoying the show. "So glad I hid a camera in that room, and they haven't even found it. Wonder if I can charge admission for others to see this, that'd make me big money in no time."
Back in Royal Woods, Lola seemed curious by something, "Adelaide, is there a reason you preferred Lana over me?"
"Huh? Lana over you?" Adelaide asked. "I didn't even know you were an option."
"It's just that, you seemed to flock more to Lana than me, and I'm the more appealing twin," Lola said.
"That's a bit subjective," Adelaide said. "I mean, I like you, don't get me wrong, but I also really like Lana. We have a lot in common. We like frogs, lizards, heck all types of animals. Neither of us don't mind getting dirty, and well, Lana just has that rugged exterior to her. I think you're pretty Lola, but you come across as too delicate for my liking, Lana feels so much tougher."
"If you wanted someone tough, wouldn't you have been better off with a guy?" Lola asked.
"You know it doesn't work like that Lola," Lana said. "Some girls just want another girl."
"Uh-huh, I honestly wonder if you two really do like girls or if you're just following examples of your older sisters," Lola said.
"I'm not into girls just because Sid is," Adelaide said.
"And I'm not into them because of Luna," Lana said. "Wait, what about you? Why are you so concerned about Adelaide picking you? I mean it's not like you like girls."
"Well there was that rumor that Lola had a crush on Stella," Luan said.
"Yeah, you would know all about crushes on Stella," Lola retorted, much to Luan's annoyance. "Honestly, to this day, I still don't even know why you kissed Stella, like what was going through your head. That was a low point for you, and you're lucky Benny stuck by you."
"Well, I wasn't pleased when I heard about it, but I also could tell Luan didn't mean any harm, I mean we all make mistakes, it's part of being human," Benny said. "Luan hasn't done anything unfaithful since and that's all that matters to me."
"Thanks Benny, you're the best," Luan said, kissing her husband on the cheek.
"The irony that Luan's the only one here who's in a functioning relationship, aside from Linky," Lola said, seductively glancing at the boy. "You're such an outstanding man, I envy Stella for having you."
"Uh...that sounded pretty weird sis, what you got the hots for Lincoln or something?" Lana asked.
"What makes you say that? I just greatly admire my big, strong and very handsome brother," Lola said, still glancing at Lincoln, the middle Loud child feeling very awkward.
"Uh, thanks Lola," Lincoln said, feeling really weird right now.
"Just curious, why is she even here?" Lily asked. "She's just antagonizing everyone, like she does back home. Seriously, you instigate so much crap with everyone back home Lola, such a pain to live with."
"Like you're any better, you come here and already you're causing marriage trouble for Ronnie Anne and Sid," Lola said. "Not very nice."
"Still haven't forgotten about that," Ronnie Anne said, glaring at the youngest Loud.
"Hey you married Sid knowing she's a pervert, that's on you," Lily said. "I came here to work on my education."
"Yeah, like learning how to use a sex toy," Lola taunted.
"Piss off," Lily snapped back.
"Gotta say, this is not what we expected would happen when you came to live here Lily," Lori said.
"It's to be expected, Lily and Linky are poorly compatible roommates after all," Lola said. "Remember the whole room switching thing? Lincoln hated bunking with Lily."
"I didn't hate it, it just wasn't desirable," Lincoln said. "I mean, no offense to you Lily, but you were a year old, and you kind of chewed on my stuff, you snored, you threw toys and...your diaper got full a lot. Not that you could help it, it just wasn't working at the time."
"Hey that's fine, it's understandable, I was only a baby, and unlike Lola, I grew up, so you don't have to worry about me messing up your stuff, or having to change my diaper," Lily said.
"No but he will have to change your bedsheets to get your vagina juices off them," Lola said.
"You know what!" Lily stood up, ready to lunge at Lola but Lincoln, Lana and Stella were quick to calm her temper.
"Please, no physical fighting, my house can't take that much damage," Lincoln said. "Also Lola, I thought you outgrew this sassy behavior of yours. You're so much better than this."
"I'm calling it like I see it," Lola said. "Linky, you're too softhearted sometimes to see how terrible our sisters are."
"She's just mad because her life really isn't that great," Lana said. "No more pageants for her, her only thing is Beauty Competitions that she doesn't always win, she's going nowhere fast."
"Excuse me, but I'm doing quite well academically," Lola said. "I just graduated college after all."
"Pfft, like what you went to college for means anything, college is only for people who want to be doctors and stuff, important things," Lana said. "I don't need college to be a plumber, my experience gets me my jobs!"
"Oh right, Lincoln, Luna, because of you two, Lana here didn't even want to finish college," Lori said. "You set a bad influence."
"Lori, I am trying to be the mediator here," Lincoln said.
"Don't be so surprised bro, we all know Lori has her head jammed up her uptight ass," Luna said.
"Me? Uptight? It only feels that way because you're deadbeat loser who can't even be bothered to be a good wife and mom!" Lori said.
"Well tell me this, when have you ever been a good mom!? Considering just how miserable your daughter is half the time!" Luna shouted. "Don't come at me with that fucking bullshit of me being poor mom when you can't even get it right!"
"My daughter, is NOT miserable, I literally don't understand what's so fucking hard to understand about that!" Lori shouted.
"Lori, why does everyone thing that Roberta is miserable?" Lincoln asked.
"I don't know, I mean I know I'm not always around, and Bobby is usually tired, and her siblings annoy her but how can she be that miserable?" Lori asked. "She has it better than I did at that age! We have money! We can afford almost anything she wants! Just your kids Lincoln! Stella makes great money at work doesn't she? Meanwhile your kids aren't miserable."
"Lincoln spends time with his kids, do yours have any adults to spend time with them?" Luna asked.
"Well yeah, Bobby's grandmother comes by a lot," Lori said. "And so do his parents."
"Roberta doesn't sound thrilled with your grandmother though, is there a reason?" Lincoln asked.
"Oh, I know why," Bobby said. "Abuela hates that Roberta doesn't speak Spanish, I still remember when she freaked out because my own Great Grandmother thought we kids were being too American and not respecting our cultural heritage."
"Oh yeah, Abuela said something similar about Tony," Ronnie Anne said. "I mean, he's only five so I don't know what she expects, even if you ignore biological relation, he still has a Chinese mother, who's parents don't bug him about culture."
"My dad does want to teach him how to make those Baos one day, that's about it," Sid said.
"Plus to be fair, Roberta has a mother who's of Scottish decent, and I don't see her teaching him bagpipes," Ronnie Anne said.
"That's more my thing, but that's more because I like instruments in general, I play more than guitar after all," Luna said. "I can teach those kids the harp if I ask them too."
"Alright, Luna, this isn't about your musical talent," Lori said, annoying her sister.
"Look, point is Abuela bugs her about it, but I told Roberta she has a choice, I mean you heard her speaking French, if that's what she wants to learn, I'm all for that, heck I might even try to learn it," Bobby said. "In the end, we're all Americans, we all have that Freedom to be what we want to be. Roberta will be fine. I mean, what do you guys think?"
"You've got a point, and I don't disagree," Ronnie Anne said. "Though, it wouldn't be bad if Roberta learned some of our culture."
"I agree, but she needs to want to, I can't force her," Bobby said. "I refuse to force her, she can make her own choice, and if Abuela's not happy, well she can deal with it because in the end, it's my kid, not hers."
"Good on you Bobby, I don't care what anyone says, you're a great dad," Sam said.
"Thanks, and you're a rockin' mom," Bobby said. "Still, though, our house gets really chaotic, and I'm not good at keeping my kids under control. I'm not like my grandparents or the in-laws."
"You might need to be a bit tougher on them," Lincoln said. "I know it's not easy, I struggle with it too. I don't like being angry at my kids, but that's one way they'll learn to behave," Lincoln said.
"Bobby, you just gotta lay down the law, I do it with Lina," Sam said. "Unfortunately she goes to Luna and..."
"I can't help it, I want to be the fun mom," Luna said.
"That makes me the mean one by comparison," Sam said. "You gotta help me control our daughter, lately I have to rely on Luan and Benny to help, and they have a kid of their own."
"We don't mind helping, Lina is our niece," Luan said.
"I know you don't mind, and I thank you for that, but Luna really needs to be more attentive," Sam said.
"I'm doing my best," Luna quickly insisted.
"Well, I'm sorry, but that's not enough," Sam said. "You know I love you Luna, but I need to feel like we're united."
"We can help," Benny said. "We're all in this together after all."
"I'd be willing to help too," Lincoln said.
"Oh that'd work well Linky, you are Lina's favorite uncle," Lola said.
"...I thought I was," Benny said.
"She doesn't have a favorite, she loves Benny and Lincoln equally," Sam said.
"Lincoln, aren't you Lina's biological father?" Lana asked. "Does she know that?"
"Uh, no, we never told her," Lincoln said. "The only reason she thinks she has white hair like mine is because I told her she inherited it from Pop-Pop. I'd rather not tell her right now, or Tony, it'd be weird."
"Are you ever going to tell them?" Bobby asked.
"Might have too, Lina's been asking questions, and she can only believe the 'Because I love your mother that much', for so long before she realized the basic science that women can't have kids with each other," Luna said.
"Isn't Lisa working around that?" Sid asked.
"She hasn't figured anything out, anyway she doesn't need to, keep things natural," Luna said. "Men and women are meant to reproduced together, it's teamwork."
"Even as a woman who solely likes other women, I agree with that statement," Sam said.
"So, if Lincoln got you pregnant, and you only like girls...was it weird for you then?" Lola asked.
"No, it wasn't really, I was fine with it," Sam said. "I still prefer girls but Lincoln definitely didn't make anything uncomfortable."
"How nice..." Lola said. "Hey Linky, if I ever get a girlfriend, would you be willing to put a baby in me?"
"Have you not been saying for a while now that that you didn't want to be with a girl!" Lana shouted. "Make up your damn mind, woman!"
"to be fair, I never confirmed nor denied anything," Lola said.
"You are so full of shit," Lana said. "Honestly it's no wonder you can't find a damn boyfriend, you just don't have appeal."
"Excuse me, I have more appeal than your scrawny butt," Lola said.
"Me? Scrawny!?" Lana leapt on the table, dropping her pants and underwear to make a point. "There ain't a scrawny part of this fine piece of work!"
"Lana! What the hell are you doing!?" Lori shouted, very embarrassed by her sister's actions.
"You're out of your mind!" Luan shouted, turning away.
"Please pull your pants up, no one wants to see this," Lincoln said.
"Actually, I kind of do," Adelaide said, seductively licking her lips.
Sid herself was staring, which Ronnie Anne immediately noticed, "Are you fucking kidding me Sid!?"
It was then Sid's eyes widened in embarrassment, "I swear I was just staring in surprise like everyone else."
"You are out of this world, I'm leaving," Ronnie Anne said, making her way out of the room.
"Ronnie Anne, wait!" Sid said, following her wife.
"Wait, don't go!" Lincoln pleaded.
"This is so embarrassing," Lori said. "I can't believe I'm related to Lana."
"Bet you can't believe you're related to any of us," Luna said.
"You're literally pissing me off!" Lori warned.
"You wanna go, bitch!?" Luna shouted.
"Wait, don't fight!" Lincoln pleaded.
"Ugh, look what you did Lana, you're more of a tramp than Lily is now," Lola said.
"Alright, you wanna go!?" Lily shouted, raising her sleeve. "Let's fucking go!"
"Wait, wait!" Lincoln pleaded.
Unfortunately, it was too late, a brawl started in his house, what started as a couple of fights slowly but surely dragged everyone else in, Benny, Sam, Luan, Lana, even Sid and Ronnie Anne as they tried to leave. Lincoln and Stella jumped into the puff cloud of violence, trying to break everything up but this went across the whole house, scaring all the kids outside as Lincoln tried to break everyone up.
"ENOUGH!" Lincoln shouted, angrily panting and giving disapproving glares to his family. "Dammit! I'm doing all I can to help this family through it's nonsense, but in spite of all that, you still want to argue and fight like children!"
"But Lincoln," Lori said.
"But nothing!" Lincoln shouted. "Come on, we're all adults now, many of us are parents, we should be setting a better example than this. Imagine how the kids must feel!"
That definitely got to the parents of the group, worried about how their kids are probably taking a situation like this.
"Sorry, we didn't mean to get this carried away," Luna said. "We'll fix this somehow."
"How? I gave you a chance to talk things out, and it still escalated," Lincoln took a breath as he went upstairs. "I need to be alone for a second, figure this out. I'm not letting my family fall apart."
"Lincoln!" Lola said, feeling sympathy for her brother. "Ooooh, poor Linky."
"I hope you know this is your fault Lola, you started way too much shit in there, for no reason," Lana said.
"Let's not play the blame game," Stella said. "Besides, Lola's not the only one to blame here, so don't single her out."
"Thanks Stella," Lola said.
"Don't thank me yet, you still caused trouble, I'm very disappointed, I know you're better than this," Stella said, Lola feeling a bit guilty.
She's always admired Stella, and while she wouldn't admit this out loud, she really did have a crush on her once, but never said anything, knowing that it wouldn't turn out well.
"Anyway, Lincoln just needs time to cool off, I suggest you all take that time as well," Stella said. "We'll try again later."
Stella went upstairs to comfort her husband, while Luna was the first to speak up, "Come on everyone, let's head to my place, we got a lot to talk over. Except you Lily, you should stay here, make sure things are alright with Lincoln, plus maybe work on your schoolwork, should make him a bit happier. We'lll talk to you later."
"Alright Luna," Lily said.
Everyone agreed and began leaving, Sid being the only one to stay behind, something Ronnie Anne noticed, "Hey, you coming?"
"You go, I'm gonna go find some place to stay," Sid said, checking a tablet for some motels. "Maybe you are better off without me."
"Sid..." Ronnie Anne pitied the woman. Despite how angry she felt with her, she could never stay mad, because she knows Sid's better than how she acts. But the best thing at the moment was to leave her be, so Ronnie Anne left with the others.
Things were not yet fixed, but Lincoln had done all he could right now, it was on the others to figure the rest out. After all, this was their family too, and it should not only be on their brother's shoulders.
Next chapter is the last.
