Chapter 4

Logan's P.O.V.

She sits there stabbing at her meatloaf with the spork, occasionally glancing over at the 09er table.

She sits there, with her face resting on a palm, her cheeks puffed in a pout as she pines away for one, Duncan Kane, who sits there, not noticing.

But me, I notice everything.

Before I know what I'm doing, I hop on his lap and start rubbing at my chest, glaring at her mockingly as the whole table erupts in laughter on her behalf. She looks at me briefly with that mixture of disbelief and grudging resignation when the new kid suddenly plops down in front of her, blocking my view.

(-) Flashback (-)

"The stupid bitch threw up in my pool," Shelley declared, throwing down her books on the table and sitting down. "My dad had it, like, sanitized but I want the freakin' thing drained and refilled. I don't wanna get Hepatitis or something."

Logan cleared his throat and glanced over to where Veronica was sitting a few tables away, stabbing away at her meatloaf. When she raised her eyes to momentarily meet his, he quickly averted his glance.

"Yeah, I heard she got really wasted," Madison Sinclair threw in. "I heard she went down on that new kid, Brad Wilson or whatever…"

"No, dude, he's in the hospital. He has some internal bleeding thing…" Dick Casablancas informed everyone. "Guess Mars likes it rough, huh…"

"Excuse me," Duncan mumbled, abruptly getting up from the table and walking out of the quad.

"Okay, and what the hell is his problem?" Madison inquired.

"Yeah, I heard his sister died, but that was, like, a month ago," Logan retorted pointedly. "What a buzzkill, right?"

(-) 00 (-)

Logan's P.O.V.

"Dude, have you noticed the new kid hanging all over your trailer park ex?" I observe, watching as Troy Vandergraff, the same kid who sat with Veronica at lunch, is chatting her up by her locker.

She chuckles lightly and rolls her eyes at him.

"Yeah, that's Troy Vandergraff. He's alright…" Duncan replies, opening his locker "…my dad knows his family…"

"Then should we maybe enlighten him as to who the school leper is?"

"Man, get off it," he snaps irritably. "They can both date whoever they want. Anyway, what's it to you?"

"It's nothing to me."

"Then do you have to go out of your way to pick on her?" he fishes out his chemistry book and slams his locker shut.

"Looks like someone still has the hots for his sister."

He stops and looks at me heatedly, gritting his teeth "Go to hell."

And with that he walks off bumping pointedly into my shoulder.

During my Study Hall I get a freshman who aids in the main office to pull her out of her history class with a pass to guidance and a few minutes later she's swinging open the door to our little trysting place.

I look up from where I'm sitting on the counter.

"Yeah?"

"Hey…" I look blankly at her.

"Um… you pulled me out of history?"

"Yeah I…uh… saw you talking to that new kid…" I've never been much for small talk.

"Yeah? Troy… something…. So?"

I don't reply.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Hey, I'm just curious. The kid's been hanging around you for a few days now—"

"So not only do you not want to be my friend but it bothers you when someone else does?"

"Oh get off it. You are not that naïve." I scoff at her. "What were you guys even talking about?"

"Whether he should bring the condoms and the Barry White or should I."

"That's really funny, Veronica."

"No, you know what's really funny? You going around hitting on anything in a skirt and then being bothered that I'm talking to someone who's not you."

"That's different—"

"Because it's you doing it?"

"Yes! I mean, I'm just doing it because it's expected of me—"

"Well from what I hear it's expected of me too."

"So what happens when he asks you out?"

She gets quiet and crosses her arms.

"Do you say, yes?"

"I don't know, Logan! What do you do when you meet a girl you like for more than just sex?"

"I—that's… I'm not looking for anyone else, Veronica!"

"But when you do!"

"Then I don't know!"

"Then this stops!" she replies, resolutely.

I clench my jaw. "Just like that."

"Yeah… just like that."

"You know," I say quietly. "Just because I'm not making you mix tapes or… gosh, I don't know, buying you cheesy gold lockets with our picture and initials engraved in it, doesn't mean that this is just nothing…"

She looks at me in disbelief and her mouth falls slightly agape before she storms out. The bathroom door swings violently behind her.

(-) Flashback (-)

The locket sparkled beneath the afternoon sunlight, swinging lightly in the wind as it was dangling on his finger.

"Hi."

"Uh, hi." She replied, snatching it from his hand.

"You, uh, left that at Shelley's," said Logan "…the other day."

Veronica had been searching for it ever since the party, but hadn't realized she'd left it poolside, where she was playing with it in her fingers before Logan had shown up.

"Don't worry… I didn't open it or anything," he lied. He had opened it and scoffed at the black and white picture it held, of Duncan placing a chaste kiss on Veronica's cheek and the "D + V" engraved on the facing side.

"Uh… thanks," she mumbled.

"Okay," he replied, standing there awkwardly for a moment.

"Oh, uh, I have your hoodie… come in… I'll go get it."

Uneasily stepping inside, Logan noted how much smaller and darker this place was compared to the former Mars residence, where he'd spent much of his time. She disappeared around the corner and returned a few moments later, clutching the freshly washed hoodie in her hands.

"The Smiths," she remarked approvingly at the band logo on the bottom left, remembering that she had lent him his first Smiths CD.

"Uh, yeah… I guess I'll go."

"Hey," she said, as he started to turn around. "Do you… uh… d-do you want something to eat?"

"I'm… I'm not really hungry."

"Oh. Okay…"

"Uh, you know what?" he shrugged. "I kinda am…"

She smiled and walked behind the counter of the kitchenette located right near the front door of the cramped apartment. "What do you feel like?"

"Let's go with the standard issue PB&J."

"Good choice," she replied, retrieving the jars of peanut butter and jelly.

He rubbed his knuckles across his forehead and watched as she began to assemble his sandwich.

"Headache?" she asked.

"Yeah, a migraine… I've been getting them a lot, lately…"

"Right behind your eyes, near the front part of your head?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Let's just say I've been practically free-basing Excedrin… you get them after an exciting night of insomniac infomercial watching binges?"

"Have you seen that new pillow Tony Little is selling?" he chuckled lightly.

"Man, if I had that kind of neck support, maybe I could sleep at night…" she replied, smiling as she cut off the crusts of the sandwich.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled, sliding the plate over to him. "What? You don't eat them anyway."

Logan looked it briefly and sighed. "On second thought… I think I'm gonna have to pass…"

"How come?" she frowned.

"I, uh… I've also been having some stomach issues…"

"So you haven't been eating," Veronica inquired, realizing that he had been looking thinner lately.

"No, I-I have… just… not as much, I mean… most days I'll get by with the excruciating churning in my gut but on the bad ones I tend to upchuck, well… you know."

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"Yeah… it's stress or something…" he looked down at his lap and took a deep breath. "My mom's gone."

Before she could reply he added. "Wait; don't tell anyone… my dad said I wasn't supposed to say anything…"

"I won't."

"I… she kinda just left…"

"When?"

"Day before Shelley's party…"

"Oh."

"Yeah, I…" he stopped, and glanced over at her, shaking his head. "You said you had Excedrin?"

"Yeah… there's some in the medicine cabinet… down the hall to your right."

He abruptly got up and disappeared at the turn of the hall. When he didn't return in a few minutes Veronica went after Logan, only to find him standing in her room.

He was looking resentfully at a framed picture of the four of them on a beach after Homecoming; himself, Lilly, Veronica and Duncan. A bitter laugh escaped his throat as he looked up to see her standing in the doorway.

He broke open the back and removed the picture.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" she yelled, trying to pull it away from his hands but he pushed her aside.

"THIS ISN'T WHO WE ARE, VERONICA!"

He crumpled the picture in his hands and threw the frame across the room where the glass shattered and rained down on the floor. She retreated in a corner of the room, trying to hold back her tears as he started to leave with one final glance her way.

After she heard the door outside slam, Veronica took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. She had to clean up the mess before her father returned from the office.

(-) 00 (-)

Logan's P.O.V.

I lie on my back and pull it out from my wallet. The picture I stole from Veronica. Wrinkled and folded over a million times over.

It's the widest I've ever seen her smile, I think. To her right is Duncan, giving her that sick puppy in love look. To her left is me, sticking my tongue out. By me is Lilly, smirking mischievously and a part of her arm extended from her holding the camera.

Yeah. This isn't who we are anymore.