Where am I? Jane thinks to herself. She's in a dimly lit corridor that looks like it goes on forever. She starts to run, looking for someone, anybody who can answer her. Where is everyone? Feeling like she has been running forever down this never ending maze. Within a blink of an eye she is standing outside the morgue. Reaching for the door to push it, she is suddenly covered in blood. Trying to remain calm she walks into the morgue. The room is empty, apart from a body lying on one of the 'dead people' tables. Its covered with a sheet. Swallowing the lump in her throat she cautiously makes her way towards the body.

Taking a deep breathe her trembling blood covered hands pulls back the sheet. There lying dead is Maura…

Suddenly waking up, Jane hopes that the whole thing has been a nightmare. Feeling the body underneath her hands she remembers where she is. I must have fallen asleep she thinks to herself. Standing up, stretching her tired and sore muscles. Glancing down at her sleeping wife in the hospital bed she goes to talk to Nurse Phoebe.

"Any change?" Jane asks her.

Picking up Maura's chart and quickly looking over it. "Her BP is stable, she's responding well to treatment. The infection from the hysterectomy seems to be under control now" Nurse Phoebe says trying to remain professional even though her friend is ill.

"Ok Phoebe, thanks" Jane says making her way out of Maura's room. "If you need me I'll be upstairs in NICU" and with that she disappears down the corridor.


So many different thoughts are running through her head. 'What if'. What if Maura dies. What if she is left alone to raise their child. What if there is something wrong with the baby. Mentally shaking the thoughts away she can see her mother asleep in one of the chairs in front of the observation window. Walking up to the nurses station "How long has she been like that?" Jane says pointing over to where the older woman is asleep.

"A couple of hours, we didn't want to wake her" the nurse says glancing from the older woman in the chair to the younger woman standing in front of her.

Mouthing the words 'thank you' to the nurse Jane walks over to her sleeping mother. Placing a hand on the older woman's shoulder, gently shaking her. "Ma" she says.

Slowly the older woman starts to stir. And the first thought that races to her brain is that something must be wrong. Almost jumping up from out of the chair Angela shouts out "WHAT'S WRONG!" not even seeing Jane standing next to her. Instead her eyes fixed on the little baby in the incubator behind the window.

Taken back by her mother's sudden reaction, Jane tries to sound reassuring. "Ma, shhh, it's ok" Seeing her mother looking at her, "I'm sorry Ma, I didn't mean to scare you" she says with genuine sincerity in her voice.

"No, I'm sorry Janie, I just thought the worse. It's been a trying few weeks" Angela says rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she stretches her tired and old bones.

Jane knows she is lucky to have a mother like Angela. Even despite all her nosy, busy body ways. She wouldn't change her for anything in the world. "Ma, please go home and get some rest" she says almost pleading with her.

"And what about you Janie? You need to rest too?" Angela says sounding a bit harsher than she intended too.

Both women are stood facing inside the NICU unit staring down at the tiny premature baby in the incubator. Standing there in silence for what feels like hours, Angela puts her arm around her daughter.

Jane gratefully accepts the gesture. Although she feels the lump forming in the back of her throat and she is scared that she might break down so she breaks the contact and turns to look at the older woman. "Besides, I have a bed set up next to Maura in her room. I just came down here to see you and the baby, then I'll get some rest too" she says in her usual raspy tone, trying to sound convincing.

Knowing her daughter all too well, Angela decides not to argue with her. If she was being honest she really would like to freshen up and change her clothes. Embracing her daughter in a hug and placing a kiss on her cheek she then starts to walk away.

Shouting after her mother "besides I need you to feed me some of your home cooking, hospital food sucks" Jane says trying to lighten the mood.

Turning to look at her daughter "Ok I'll make your favourite, grandma's Cannoli" Angela says with a smile on her face.

"Thanks ma, you're the best" Jane says with a smile.

Smiling back at her daughter "I know" Angela says before continuing to head down the corridor towards the elevators.

Watching her mother disappear out of sight, Jane heads over to the nurses station. It's still early in the morning so everything seems quiet. "Hi, can you tell me how Rizzoli-Isles baby is doing please" she asks wincing at the thought that they haven't named the baby yet. It was something herself and Maura were still debating on. And without Maura being awake it just didn't feel right to her.

Looking from Jane and then to the computer in front of her. The nurse starts to move the mouse and after a few clicks they find the correct patient information. "Still no improvement yet, but there has been no change in condition which means its a good thing too. The first few weeks are the most critical and your baby has gone past that, we are expecting to see small improvements over the next couple of days" she says with sincerity in her voice.

Not feeling reassured by this at all, Jane knows there's nothing she can do. "Thank you" she says before having one more look at her tiny little baby before heading back to Maura's side.

Quietly entering her wifes room, Jane is suddenly overcome with immense tiredness. Seeing that there is still is no change in her wife's condition. The bed that the nurses have set-up for her Is drawing her towards it. Without even bothering to get under the covers, Jane collapses on top of the bed in a heap. Having a final glance at her wife in the other bed, her eyelids soon become heavy, and the darkness takes her away. Hoping that no more nightmares enter her dreams.


Waking with a jolt, forgetting where she is, that is until the smell of disinfectant hits her nostrils and she remembers. She's in the hospital. Stretching her stiff joints, Jane gets off the bed and heads to the side table next to Maura. On top is a pitcher of water, taking one of the plastic beakers, she pours herself a cup. Taking a sip of the cold water she glances to her sleeping wife. Suddenly something catches her eye, putting the cup down she moves closer to the small woman laying in the bed. Jane stares at her tentatively. Looking for any signs of her wife waking, and then she sees it. Maura's eyes start to flicker.

Jane's heart is pounding so hard in her chest she feels like it's going to burst out of it. Running out of the room she goes and fetches the nurse. Returning a few seconds later with Nurse Phoebe.

Heading over to Maura's bedside Phoebe starts to check the sleeping blondes vitals. "Maura, can you hear me?" she asks, whilst watching for any response. "If you can, open your eyes for me". So far nothing, her heart sinks thinking that Jane has overreacted. But then she sees it too. Her friend opens her eyes for her. Looking at Jane she says "I'm going to get the doctor" before disappearing out of the room.

Moving forward Jane looks into those hazel eyes she's been longing to see again. "That's it baby, open your eyes for me" she says with happiness in her voice. Just then the doctor comes in with Nurse Phoebe. Stepping aside Jane lets him do his job.

"Hi Maura, do you know where you are?" the doctor says whilsts using his pocket pen light to check her pupil response. Seeing that his patient is still disorientated he continues. "You're in the hospital, you suffered a placental abruption". Pausing for a second, he sees that she understands him and so he continues. "We had to deliver your baby by c-section" at the mention of the baby Maura starts to panic.

"MY BABY" Maura shouts trying to climb out of the bed.

Jane is caught off guard by the sudden movement and outburst from her wife. "Hey, shh, its ok, calm down" she says to her whilst placing her hand on the blondes shoulder.

The doctor continues to try and ease his patients mind. "Your baby is in the NICU unit. She is very ill but she's a fighter, like her mother" he says giving her a gentle smile. Looking back to Jane he takes his leave. "I'll leave you two alone, nurse Phoebe here" pointing to the nurse writing something on Maura's chart. "will need to check your stitches at some point, ok!" And with that the doctor disappears out of the room.

Moving closer to Maura, Jane can see the distress in her wifes face. "Hey baby, everything is going to be ok". She says as she moves closer and brushes Maura's pale skin with the back of her hand.

"What happened"? Maura says trying to calm her shaky voice. Not remembering anything.

Pulling a chair up closer to Maura's bed, Sitting down and taking her wifes hands in her own. Jane brings it to her mouth and places a kiss on the back of them before deciding to speak. "What do you remember? She asks softly in her usual raspy tone.

"The last I remember is when we went out to lunch at that new restaurant" Maura says trying to hide the tremble in her voice.

Taking a deep breathe in Jane tries to think of the best way to answer her wife without frightening her. "Sweetheart that was over two weeks ago" she says softly. "You lost a lot of blood, they called it a placental abruption". She knows that whatever medical jargon she tells her wife she is going to understand it. "To save you, they had to perform a hysterectomy, I nearly lost both of you", her voice breaking as she says it. Feeling the lump in her throat rising as she remembers that awful day.

Her head is spinning. One from the fact that she has lost over two weeks of her life. Second that she can see in her wife's eyes how close she came to dying. Three, how close she came to losing her unborn child. And four, that she can no longer bare children. All of this is too overwhelming for Maura. The tears start to fall freely down her face.

Seeing her wife hurting, Jane gently wipes the tears from Maura's cheeks. "Because of the blood loss, you were already very weak. You developed an infection from the surgery. So they put you in a medically induced coma to try and help your body recover" she says not taking her eyes off the small blonde in the bed. Afraid that this could all be a dream and if she looks away she might disappear. "This is the first time you've been awake for nearly 2 weeks" she says leaning in and placing a soft gentle kiss on Maura's forehead. "I'm so happy to so see those eyes again" she says this time not bothering to stop the stray tear falling down her cheek.

"Oh sweetheart" Maura says hating to see Jane this way. Then suddenly out of nowhere like a wave, her thoughts turn to the baby. Remembering that they said "SHE" and no-one telling her how she is doing. The sudden rush of feelings brings nothing but anxiety and panic and fear. "THE BABY!" Maura almost shouts. "I NEED TO SEE HER" she says trying to get out of bed..again!

Nurse Phoebe and both Jane are in shock by this sudden turn in events. Trying her best to calm the panic stricken woman in front of her. "Hey, Maura, its ok, calm down" Jane says trying her best to hold her in the bed without hurting her. "She's in NICU, you can't move otherwise you might rip your stitches". None of this seems to be calming her at all.

Seeing how distraught her friend is Nurse Phoebe makes a decision that will hopefully calm her. "Hey Maura, let me get a wheelchair and we shall take you to see her, ok?"

Feeling Maura starting to relax underneath her grip, happy that she is no longer going to try and hurt herself by getting out of the bed, Jane lets go. Turning to look at Nurse Phoebe before she disappears to find a wheelchair. Jane mouths the words "thank you" before turning her attention back to her scared and frightened wife.


A few minutes later after carefully helping Maura into the wheelchair all three of them were coming out of the elevator on the NICU ward. As they got nearer to the observation window, Nurse Phoebe goes to the nurses station to ask for them to bring the Rizzoli-Isles baby to the window.

As they are waiting, crouching down in front of her wife, Jane takes the smaller womans hands in her own. Letting out a breathe she didn't know she was holding. "Maura, our little girl is really ill, but shes a fighter, ok!" Jane says making sure that her wife is prepared. Glancing over the smaller woman's shoulder she sees Nurse Phoebe indicate that are ready for them. Getting up Jane starts pushing the wheelchair towards observation window. Feeling worried how her wife is going to react.

Seeing the tiny little baby in the incubator, Maura feels like her heart has stopped beating in her chest. Leaning forward as far as she can go without falling out of the wheelchair. Placing her hand on the glass window, almost trying to will her hand through it so she can touch her daughter. She has understood everything that Jane has explained to her. But actually seeing her daughter in the incubator hooked up to so many different machines still didn't prepare her for that. All the emotions she is feeling she is no longer able to hold them in. The walls come crashing down, as wave upon wave of sobs shake her frail body. Feeling arms wrap around her in an instant, her wife doesn't say anything she just holds her tight.

Trying to being strong for so long has been hard. But seeing how distraught Maura is breaks her heart. Unable to stop it, Jane too breaks down, both women sobbing uncontrollably in each others arms.

Hearing the sounds of crying, Nurse Phoebe knows who it is. Looking in the direction of the cries, seeing both her friends so sad breaks her heart. She prays and hopes that there baby will will get better and survive. But only time will tell.


Authors Note:

Thanks again for those who have been liking and following this story. Sorry this chapter was a bit of a wait. I've been very busy with work as well as trying to do more freelance work of my photography. And for those that followed TRAUMA, and know a bit about me personally. Finally started having counselling. So the start of this year has been busy busy busy.

Peace and Love

Paula