Disclaimer: Non, rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien. Je ne m'appelle pas Meg Cabot ou Jenny Carroll. Je suis...une autre femme... Mais, qui... ?
A/N: OK, this chappie is really pointless and boring and crap. I wasn't having a good day. I apologise.
Nice Hayley: Of course I'm gonna clear up why Paulie-waulie can't be joined with his (want-to-sink-your-teeth-into) body. God, who do you think I am? Some amateur writer? I will also be telling you HOW Paulie-waulie will be reunited with his body...if he can. Doo doo doo doo...
Mystique Angelique: NEVER MIND ME MAKING YOUR DAY, YOU TOTALLY JUST MADE MINE!!! AAAW! Aren't you just the cutest? Hahaha, in answer to your autre little question, all you need to remember is: Delilah knows all, and sees all.
UnangelicHalo: I go on MSN all the time, I think you're avoiding me. I may have to kill you. Nah, don't be silly. I'll send someone else to do it for me. Moowahahhaa...
PoeticKiss: Hahaha! I am sorry you are confuzzled!! I honestly don't know how to explain it anymore. For some OBSCURE reason, Paul is trapped in the ghost-like form after shifting and is unable to return to his body. So it is up to Suze to find out why this has happened...and how to resurrect Paul's real body, before he gets trapped in the ghostly form.
Athena884: I haff no idea vether or not Suze vill fall in luff vith Paul. I haff no idea at all. It's exciting, no?
Ameroni: You will from now on be referred to and called, "Pepperoni Girl". Got it? Or "Pizza Chick" when I'm feeling particularly odd.
During first period Father Dom called me to his office over the speaker system. Talk about embarrassing. I knew Father D was gonna call me to his office sometime during the day, but not halfway through my English class when we were all in sat in silence contemplating effective methods of creating a tense in moment in a novel.
Yeah, cos it's always been my dream to write a thriller and get it published.
One minute it was complete silence as the collective class was actually contemplating how our teacher, Ms Rosen, could afford the vast amounts of hairspray she used on her hair everyday on a teachers salary, the next moment, Father D's normally soothing voice was echoing out over the scratchy speaker system saying, "Could Susannah Simon please report to my office. Thank you, Susannah."
And then he was gone. And silence ensued. If it wasn't bad enough that Father D used my full name in public, let alone in front of me, everyone in the class turned to stare at me, some sniggering unsympathetically and others quirking their eyebrows up at me questioningly. CeeCee rolled her eyes and Adam was too busy snoring, face-first, on his desk to notice the thick, awkward silence that clung around me.
I blushed furiously and struggled up from my chair, grabbing blindly at my books and wildly sweeping them into my arms. My hair was falling in front of my face and I was thankful for the temporary shield. I was sure my blush didn't compliment my Mocha Mist eye shadow.
Talk about embarrassing.
Just as I was thinking, Well, it can't really get any worse than this, Ms Rosen crossed her arms over her chest, leant onto her desk and said wryly, "Take your time, Miss Simon. We're in no hurry."
The class snickered and my facial pigments went on overdrive.
I finished picking up my books and stormed out, swinging my bag into a chortling Dean Morelli as I passed him with enough force to knock him clean off his chair and sprawling onto the floor.
And then I was free.
I swear to God, the air outside tasted sweeter and lighter.
I leant against the wall and breathed out a sigh. Father D was in big trouble! Could he not have come and got me at lunch or something? Instead of humiliating me in front of everyone!
I stalked past reception and into his office.
"Never do that again!" I threw myself into my usual chair and extracted a toy from his drawer of goodies (all the illegal objects that Sister Ernestine and her cronies have managed to catch and confiscate.) Today was a tamagotchi.
I pressed the little buttons and started a game.
"Do what, exactly, Susannah?" I glanced up at him and cut him a sharp look.
"Embarrass me like that!" When all I got was a furrowed brow from him I expanded. "Everyone was staring at me when you called me! I mean, sheesh. They already think I'm a big enough freak as it is, especially with me disappearing to your office all the time. And then you go and call me in the most patent, unsubtle way. You can't just come up to me at lunch and discreetly ask me for a quiet chat. Oh no. You have to let the whole school know I've been playing up!"
I pressed the tamagotchi's button ferociously and huffed back into my chair.
"But you haven't been playing up, Susannah," Father Dom said. He looked confused and I gave an exasperated sigh.
"I know that! But they don't! They're just gonna automatically presume I'm in trouble! It's not good for my image."
"Susannah, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Your fellow classmates will still think you worthy of your role as Vice President."
Now it was my turn to be confused. Who cared if people didn't want to vote for me because they thought I was a crackpot? I was talking about my street cred being in danger here.
I decided to humour Father D and not correct him to the modern, twenty first century standards and expectations. His world he was living in, his poor, misguided world, was probably a nicer place to live in. The harsh realities of today would probably give the good Father a coronary.
"Now," continued Father Dom as I played with the dinky computer-generated mutant animal toy in my hand. "I know that you and Paul have seen each other." I wrenched my head up.
Surely Father D didn't know about my dreams? Uh oh.
"And I know you two would probably have put your heads together -"my mouth dropped open "- so I just wanted to know if you two had got any work done?"
I gaped at him. Heads together? They were more than just together, if I remember correctly... which I did. The images were vivid movies, tattooed on my mind. I just didn't realise they were tattooed where everyone else could see them too...
"Although it is rather unfortunate for Paul to be in this predicament, it is quite good to be getting some hands-on experience. Which you seem to be getting plenty of."
My heart had officially stopped. How could Father D be so lax and casual about this? I was jailbait! I was an innocent young girl, to Father Dom, anyway. It was immoral, what Paul and I were doing! And here Father D is - vicar and servant of the good Lord, follower of all that is good and pure and clean – encouraging Paul's debauching of me!
And then the pieces fit together. Father Dom wasn't condoning this typical teenage activity that usually stirs discomfort of its rawest form in him, because he thought I was moving on from Jesse! I mean, to Father D, a live guy – even if it is the devil himself – is better than a dead guy.
I jerked out of my thoughts and realised Father Dom was still talking.
"Back in my day, I never had such things." Boy, did I know it. "I never had the chance to learn by all these hands-on experiences." Excuse me? Was he saying he wasn't any good in the- No. That's just too gross. "You really are a lucky girl. All these exorcisms, and now this revelation about shifting..."
I fell off my seat when I realised Father D was talking about ghost stuff concerning Paul, not about my lips and Paul's lips, and his body and my body. My heart came thudding back to life with a shotgun jerk and I felt like kissing Father D on his tissue-like skin on his forehead.
He stood up and peered over his desk at me. "Are you quite alright, Susannah?" I grinned.
"Better than alright, Father D." He frowned and carried on from where he left off, settling his small frame into the large, cushioned throne of a chair.
"Now this Paul condition has come along, I'm beginning to think this is a great learning experience for you. Who knows, you could even write a book about it! Help others like you."
I stared at Father Dom in shock, horror, revulsion, and amazement.
"Yeah, Father D, cos I'm pretty sure tonnes of publishers out there are gonna let me publish that kinda book. 'Mediating and Me', by Susannah Susan – the good guide to getting rid of ghoulish ghosts. Get a free brochure on Shadowland and plan your next holiday when you buy a copy."
Father Dom gave me a reproachful look. "Well, maybe not publish a book. But perhaps a website?" When all he gained from me was an eye roll, he continued with a tone of annoyance. "At least you'll have some power and knowledge to pass onto your children."
I dropped my tamagotchi and choked. Children? Man, I hadn't even got to thinking about my future as far as what I'm going to do when I get home, let alone whether or not I'm going to have children.
"But have you and Paul discussed what is going on with him? He told me he had no idea what was happening with him. He didn't even know how he had got to be that way." I frowned. Hadn't Paul told me how he had turned into a half-ghost?
Yeah, he had. So why hadn't he told Father Dom? I presumed he had his own good reasons and told Father Dom I had no idea what was happening to Paul, and that we hadn't made any conclusions so far. I felt kinda bad lying to a priest. But it's not like I haven't done it before. I was already reserved a first class room in hotel Hell, why bother trying to repent now?
Father Dom leaned back in his chair looking disappointed. "Oh well," he sighed, "I'm sure we'll figure this out." I gave a wan smile and stood up to go.
"I best be off, Father D. As much as I love our cosy little chats, I do come to school for a reason other than to talk with you. Lessons mean something, nowadays. They're actually considered quite important."
Father D shooed me out of his office and I walked down the breezeway. A bleep from my hand brought me out of my quiet stupor and I looked down. I was still holding that damn tamagotchi. An image of a small, freckled child crying his heart out at the loss of his tamagotchi came into my head and I sighed dejectedly. Guilt was something I did not want on my conscience.
I turned slowly and reluctantly round and my nose brushed against soft material covering hard, solid muscle. The scent of delicious, distinctly masculine aftershave drifted up my nose and I closed my eyes. It was yummy. It was cosy and cool at the same time. I resisted the urge to throw myself at the chest and body in front of me. It was just so welcoming...
Whoa, talk about hormone rampage. I was getting hot flushed just standing in front of a guy. I slammed my eyes opened and realised I was fantasising about a guy I hadn't even seen the face of. I looked up, not really wanting to be disappointed, even though I was madly and deeply and irreplaceably in love with a dead guy.
Not something I really want to go around admitting, even in my mind.
My eyes dragged up, over the concrete chest, along the broad shoulders, up the smooth-skinned throat and onto the face of none other than Paul Slater.
Why wasn't I stepping away from him...?
"I didn't know you were the maternal type," he smirked down at me.
"What?" I yelped. In my head I was repeating, Step away, step away, step away, step away...
Paul nodded towards the frantically bleeping tamagotchi in my hand. I looked down and noticed it was shaking. My hand, I mean. Annoyed, I pressed a button furiously and the stupid thing shut up.
"Or not..." said Paul with a grin.
"I prefer real live ones," I said. Paul cocked his head and his grin grew.
"Oh?" He gripped my arms in his hands and gently turned me round so my back was brushing against his chest. I decided to ignore the buzz that sent shivers up and down my spine when his large, warm hands touched my bare skin. Static shock, I assured myself. "Then what's that?" Paul was referring to a small girl gazing up at me with large eyes.
She was dead.
"It's not mine, that's for sure," I said stupidly. Well obviously. Unless I'd been partaking in some extra-curricular activities my mom would most certainly not approve of. I knelt down to her level. "Hey," I said softly. "What's your name?"
The girl continued to gaze at me with round blue eyes. Her wavy chestnut hair fell to her waist with a cream Alice band perched on the top of her head. She was wearing a dated peach dress with frills along the short bell- bottom sleeve cuffs. She raised her thumb to her mouth a seated it inside sucking gently and all the while keeping her eyes on me.
I was instantly taken. I had melted the instant her big blues met mine.
She was adorable with a capital A.
She reached out her non-thumb-sucking arm and stroked my hair. "Pretty," she murmured. I pecked her on the nose with my finger and she smiled shyly. "And the same to you, too," I said gently.
She raised her eyes to Paul and then dragged them back to me. Even little girls are impervious to his charm.
"If you're my mommy, is he my daddy?" I almost fell backwards off my heels.
"I'm-I'm not..." But the girl had disappeared. I stayed where I was staring into empty space.
"Suze?" I heard Paul whisper behind me and I abruptly stood up, brushing myself down. I turned to face him and again came nose-to-chest with him.
"I get the feeling this is gonna be a hard one to solve," I shook my head wisely. "As they say in the business: never work with kids or animals."
"She going to become another one of Susannah Simon's charity cases?" Said Paul with some scorn. I glared at him.
"Oh, what? You think I should just leave her? Just leave this poor little girl to struggle in a world where no one can see her and any dead person could hurt her? Or, wait. I could always give her to you and let her become one of your little minions. God, Paul. Do you have no compassion? She's a little girl."
Paul frowned at me but is eyes were soft.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "And I do have compassion. I was just being stupid," I rolled my eyes and Paul grinned. I put my hands on my hips and tilted my chin up stubbornly.
"What are you doing here, Paul?" Paul leaned to left and leant against one of the breezeway's columns.
"I go to school here, Suze."
"I don't know how to point this out to you, Paul. But you're not exactly all here, at the moment. And I'm talking physically. God knows you're not all there mentally all the time. But this is a little more serious than just being crazy. Cos now, you're a crazy half-dead person."
Paul frowned but remained undismayed. "I know. But that doesn't mean I don't miss it." He kept such a straight face I had to laugh.
"Why are you actually here?" Paul pursed his lips and tried to hide a smile.
"Because I'm nosy," he said in an amused tone.
"Because you're nosy? Because you're... Oh my God!" Paul grinned outright and looked so full of life it was hard to imagine he was trapped in a hell with only me to help me.
"Had any nice dreams lately, Suze?" His eyes twinkled and he crossed his arms. I felt a blush sweeping up my neck and tried to scowl to cover my utter and horrific humiliation.
"You have been invading my privacy! You cannot use your new powers for evil! I swear to God, the next time you listen in on one of my conversations I will exorcise you so fast you won't have time to even think of repenting your long list of sins!"
Paul peeled himself off the column and strode casually toward me, as if he was innocent as pie and I was the one full of sin.
As if.
Dreams aren't sinful...are they? I recollected mine and blew out a sigh. Hooh boy. They certainly were in my case.
"So...I was good, was I?" He peered down at me intensely and I let my gaze skitter around, anywhere but Paul's face.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I only told CeeCee that so it wouldn't ruin her fantasies of you. That's all. I was lying." My heart was telling a different story, judging by the way it was pounding indignantly against my ribs.
"Sure didn't feel like you were lying. Not when you were kissing me and touching me like you were," Paul scowled at me, I don't know why he was the one who was annoyed. It wasn't like he was lusting after someone while already in love with someone else.
Cos that's all I felt for Paul.
Lust.
Probably the most powerful and dangerous of the seven deadly sins. To me, anyway.
You would think God would give me a break, after me having to go through all this kafuffle of dealing with lost souls, some of which were violent, and most of which were generally unhelpful to the fullest extent. I mean, I'm putting my life on the line hundreds of times over for the big guy upstairs, effectively doing his job. I'm one of his minions. Like Paul has. Not that Paul is a god. But you know. He is someone with undeniable – and inescapable – power. Like God. Who isn't giving me a break when I fully deserve one.
And it's not just me he's upsetting or putting in danger. You've seen how my mom's reacted with my numerous scratches, broken bones, concussions, detentions, suspensions, police-related incidences – the list goes on. She basically doesn't deal with them well. So that's another person God is upsetting. And endangering. How many ghosts have I had to deter from harming my family as methods of getting what they want in life – or rather, death? How many threats towards my family have I had to endure with horror so concentrated I've had nightmares about the angry ghosts coming back and doing off with my family just like they promised they would if I didn't help them? And it's not just the dead ones, either! Oh no. The live ones are just as bad.
So you would think I deserve a holiday from all this stress. Or at least, a weekend break to a spa.
But no. Instead God throws at me this. Paul Slater. Another hurdle to overcome. Another obstacle in the course of Susannah Simon's already difficult – understatement of the year – life.
I took a deep calming breath and said slowly and steadily, "You were controlling me. You were the one who manufactured the dreams. I had nothing to do with it. You were living out your own unfeasible fantasies in my usually PG dreams."
"You could have easily escaped, Suze. And you know. You could easily have dreamed up lover-boy to come and save you. Or you could have dreamed a dream without me in it. I only implanted myself there. You did the rest. It was only when it was getting really serious that you escaped and woke up. So do not deny it."
Paul was standing scarily close, his rushed breathing tickling my cheeks, his rapidly rising chest sweeping against mine with every movement. And still I avoided looking at his face. I stared at his collarbone, on show through an open V-necked tennis T-shirt. Even with an unearthly glow he had a rich tan.
He reached out and, before I could react, had a hold of my chin. For such a firm grip, he sure did lift my chin tenderly. Now I had no choice but to look him in the eye. He was lowering his head towards mine which made it look as if he were about to kiss me...
...When the forgotten tamagotchi bleeped. It cut through the atmosphere like an axe and I grabbed at the merciful interruption.
"Oh look, I forgot to take it back. Best be off to do that now. I don't wanna be any later for my lessons..." I stepped away from Paul and we froze as our eyes locked, then he as gone. And I sprinted back to Father D's office, threw the tamagotchi to him, then sprinted back to class and sat in a world of my own for the rest of the lesson.
My mind was racing with thoughts of Paul and the little girl.
