A/N: Sorry it's been such a long time! But i got a HUMONGOUS writer's block and i didn't have a laptop and, you know.... I also went to Italy with my frend. But i now have MSN on my mobile so i can access my emails WHEREVER I AM... MOOWAHHAHAHAAA.
and especially at school, so if i get bored during science - which i undoubtedly do - i can just go read Fanfic.
anyway, here's my usual thank you's and oddnesses to my usual readers:
mediatorgurl: umm..... i think you just insulted me on my chappie 5....i really don't know what to say......i think i'm gonna go cry now, though........thank you for the kiss information though ;-D
Nice Hayley: i think a PB and J diet sounds a bit iffy to me.... although it does explain a lot about you. Especially you the goatness in you. WHAT IS WITH THE SUDDEN FOOD OBSESSION??? Oh, and my friend reminds me of bacon rashes. and my mom reminds me of corn dogs. WHY??? WHY DOES EVERYONE REMIND YOU OF FOOD? you have issues, gurl. serious issues. even more issues than moi, and that, m'lady, is saying something.
SweetestReject: I apologise for making you crazy. But i assure you, i am already halfway through the next chappie, so it shouldn't be too long til i next update (making up for taking so long to update)
MystiqueAngelique: You worry me.... Need i say more?
N Ashton: What does the N stand for? Or is it really embarassing? Like... Nellie? Or... Nobby? Or... Nobolina? When you get your results, feel free to tell me...... I am actuallly interested. Yes, people! I do have some compassion! And yes! I can be serious SOME of the time! So stop looking at me like that. (I'm always glad to get new reviewers, by the way! So i will be treating your reviews with extra special care and attention. And if you get a loada jealous, murderous looks from my other reviewers, well. I'm sure you'll get over the mental scarring.) Whereabouts in Engerland are you from?
Allimba: Wow, for someone with such a complicated, weird name, you sure do leave short reviews. Thank you!
Pens in potatoes: Tory! what a funky, REAL name. (sorry i took so long to update, i know how annoying that is...HINT HINT HINT TO LOLLY AND BUNNY GIRL1)
Anna S: What a LOVERLY, PLEASANT surprise! You never publicly review! I'm honoured and touched. You will always be the diamond reviewer of my heart. I'm also starting to like Jesse a bit more. But that may be cos i'm changing him. He always struck me as a bit limp and weak and sappy and with very little personality. But I think I'm changing that for the GOOD. And i have no idea when the plot will thicken. i have no idea how to lengthen out this plot! I'm paranoid it's gonna be really short and boring and dull! And what reputation? I haff no rrrreputation. I am just MOI.
Esodes08: What was with the "Maa! Maa!"???? Are you a goat? Why would you think a 6 year old little girl is evil? I think someone's been watching too much TV. Next you'll be telling me that the rain is actually God's pee as he relieves himself. And that's just plum crazy. It's Jebu's pee. (Jebu is my god).
Enelya Tinuviel: Do you KNOW how hard it is to type out names this CRAZY AND LONG??? Sure, i could just copy and paste, but then i dont remember your names and that makes me feel BAD! WHY CAN YOU NOT JUST USE A REGULAR, NORMAL NAME??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH NORMALACY????????????? weirdos. (please don't take offence and stop reviewing) Have you been talking to Manda (Esodes)? BETHANY IS A LITTLE GIRL!!!!! NOT SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it's perfectly normal to feel nothing for Monsieur de Silva. For, not only is he dead, he is also fictional. And kind of a wuss. Paul, however. Phwoar. Girl's like to be bossed about, sexually intimidated, and we all like a bad boy. Which, frankly, Jesse is the complete opposite. He does not boss about, he does NOT insinuate sexual innuendos ANY TIME, and he is SOOOO not a bad boy. So do not worry, fair reviewer. You are perfectly normal. In some ways. In other ways, you're a nut job.
Naomi:You scare me even more than Lolly. And Lolly is Australian!!!!! That means, technically, she should be even more odd. What with her digaridoos and her dingos and wallabees. You're not Australian are you, Naomi?
Em: Em? Is that all? Em. Em...ily? Em....ma? Em....mahunkadingal?
UnangelicHalo: That boxer story was true! It had me laughing on the floor....but then the security dudes came along and told me i had to leave. Bless them. Bless their little black-shades-and-butch-body eyes. Bless them.
xxStar: Like the review.
meghan: COOOL!!! YOU COME FROM COLORADO!!!! and THANK YOU for remembering to put WHERE IN THIS WORLD YOU COME FROM! I'm sorry i havn't emailed you....i kinda forgot......BUT I WILL!!!!!!! Omg, i feel really bad now....... i just read your review and thought, aaaw, she is so nice. then i thought, crap, i can't email her now cos i gotta read the other reviews, but i will email her later. and, i guess, i kinda....didn't. (You can have Paul...but first, i think you better worry about fighting off a coupla other people.....)
BloodyRayne: Derek? Qui est....DEREK??? Please explain your love for him. (unless he's your bro in which case...I'm sorry and EW at myself) And you CRIED cos you were out of COFFEE? Now there's withdrawal for you....
IF YOU'RE READING THIS AND YOU HAVEN'T PREVIOUSLY TOLD ME WHERE YOU COME FROM, OR YOUR AGE, OR ANY OTHER INTERESTING STUFF YOU THINK I MIGHT WANNA KNOW - THEN TELL ME!!!!!!!!! merci.
hahahahhaahahhaa. MADNESS.
So the mysterious presence wasn't so mysterious anymore.
At least, not to me. Jesse hadn't heard Paul's sarcastic tone. He sounded pissed off, too. And jealous. Not good news for Jesse. Or me. But nice, in an odd kind of way.
Give a girl a break! It's nice to be appreciated!
Unfortunately, these emotions in Paul were the overall concoction for a bad- ass Paul. And a powerful, semi-dead, pissed off Paul was worse than a live one. Now half-dead, he had superpowers and strength. Superpowers and strength to exorcise Jesse with ease.
"Stop spying on me, you perve," I growled out of the corner of my mouth so Jesse wouldn't see or hear. "Go get your cheap thrill some place else."
"I'm sorry," said Paul in a completely insincere voice. "I didn't realise I was interrupting anything."
Before I had a chance to snap back a retort, Jesse whipped round with an animalistic snarl.
"Slater!" His voice rumbled like thunder and resonated fury. Paul materialised and his mouth was set in a grim line with the corner tipped up in bitter amusement, as well as all the emotions mentioned above. Jesse's eyes flashed and a muscle in his jaw leapt.
They took a step towards each other, dwarfing my room with their size and emotions. My mirror shook and my door knobs rattled.
"OK OK," I said as calmly as I could. "That's enough of that. There will be no fighting in my room or house again. In fact, no fighting at all." I made a firm gesture that I thought represented my finality on the matter pretty clearly. I turned to Paul. "Paul, stop provoking Jesse." I swivelled round to Jesse. "Jesse, stop rising to the challenge."
Paul and Jesse continued to glare ultimate death glares at each other that would have even Superman and Spiderman shaking in their skin-tight boots. I continued when neither said anything. Paul and Jesse, I mean. Not Superman and Spiderman. Although, come to think of it, the comic book characters were a lot like the two guys standing in my room. Except, to my knowledge, none of the superheroes had a dark side to him, unlike Paul.
Plus they were both fully alive and kicking.
"Now I think we should all take a couple of deep breaths," I proceeded to do so. Paul and Jesse remained stock stil. Not that taking deep breaths would have done much for them, what with both being...well, breathless, shall we say? But that's what my mom's therapist told me to do, back in New York. And some of the time, it actually worked.
Not all of the time, however.
"Paul, I think you should go away and stop interfering in my life."
Paul slowly turned toward me, his eyes not leaving Jesse's until the last moment...when I thumped him on the arm for taking so long to turn attention onto me.
"I'm not leaving until we've sorted a lesson, Suze. You're not going to escape me just because I'm not all here," He winked at me and indicated to his ghostly form and otherworldly glow. I grimaced.
"Paul, you're never all-here even when you are alive," I tapped my temple meaningfully. "How about, instead of shifting lessons, we concentrate on getting you fully alive again?"
Paul grinned warmly and his eyes twinkled. "Revealing you care for me in front of cowboy here? Wow, our relationship must be evolving."
I rolled my eyes. "Dream on, Paul-" I immediately regretted my choice of words and felt a blush flood my skin. Paul's grin widened and warmed, and his eyes danced. I gave a small cough. "I just don't like the idea of your brain being coupled with ghost powers. It's like giving Avril Lavigne a microphone. So how about we discuss this at school, hm?" I glared at him dangerously, daring him to say no.
Paul gave me one last wink and dematerialised. Leaving me with Jesse.
I started humming, plucking at my sheets with sudden interest. All at once I had a bad feeling about being left alone with Jesse. He would want to talk, obviously. And, frankly, I wasn't in a talking mood. I would never be in a talking mood, when it came to Paul. All I could feel was the silence. I looked up to check if Jesse was still in the room.
He hadn't budged an inch. His dark eyes were even darker and trained laser- sharply on me. I threw my gaze down and concentrated on my plucking with ferocious intent. My humming sped to a manic speed. Finally, I cracked.
"Alright, alright! I give up! Enough with the CIA interrogation techniques! I admit it. I. Have. Been. Having. Shifter. Lessons...with Paul. There. Happy now?" I threw away my sheets and huffed. Sheesh. Anyone would think I had broken the law, or something. When really, all I'd been doing was protecting my boyfriend from being sent unwillingly to purgatory.
I should be given a prize, not the good-cop-bad-cop-without-the-good-cop treatment from the afore mentioned boyfriend!
Jesse burst into life, stomping around the foot of my bed in his riding boots, running a large, tan hand through his thick and crispy hair. He was like a Spanish cowboy version or Horatio Hornblower. Only hotter. And dead. But real.
"I told you to stay away from that-" Jesse proceeded to call Paul something I'm sure his mother would not have approved of.
"Well, no offence Jesse, but that whole stay-away plan sucks. I go to school with the guy! He's in some of my classes and he stalks me! It's like The Bodyguard but creepier!"
A moment of puzzlement caused Jesse to scrunch his nose and brow up before he continued his tirade. "In that case I will just have to follow you when you go to school. For you own safety." Jesse crossed his arms and stood firm, his chin tilted at a stubborn, defy-me-if-you-dare angle.
I dared.
"No way! No, no, no, no, no way in hell are you going to follow me round everyday. I do not need my very own Kevin Costner in this version of the movie. Paul most of the time leaves me alone at school anyway. Well, not really alone. But he doesn't bother me. Well, he does bother me. But he doesn't...Oh no, wait. Yeah, he does. OK, but it's not like he...Oh crap, it is!"
I cut off my ramblings and looked up Jesse. "The bottom line is: I do not need my boyfriend following me around all day 24/7. Capisce?"
Jesse gave me a sceptical look. Okay, so I never said I was lead speaker for the debate team and I never wanted to be a criminal lawyer, but I made my point. I persuaded him. Sort of.
After a moment of intense interrogation of me by Jesse's eyes, in which he seemed to be looking at something buried deep inside my mind, he gave a short nod. "Fine. I'll leave you be at school. But I want to know about these shifter lessons."
I breathed a long sigh. I can do this. All I do is tell Jesse that these lessons are vital in my mediator training. He's always going on about my 'interesting' methods for mediating. He should be pleased in starting to take my job seriously. And I'll just forget to tell him about the part where I'm saving his life. Or death. Whatever. And I'll happen to skip past the part where I often get sexually harassed and sexually assaulted by my teacher.
When I told Jesse, however, he let out a huge snort of laughter. This was followed by gales of hysterical laughter, showing his obvious amusement at my speech.
I stormed past him as he bent over, clutching his stomach with tears streaming down his face as he giggled unstoppably.
As I barged past him he tried to contain his all-too-clear hilarity by reaching out to me – still bent over and clutching his aching sides – and breathlessly called my name. I slunk past him and into my bathroom, slamming the door and trying to bounce it off his forehead. I crawled into my bathtub and sat there scowling at the taps with my back against the cool tiled wall.
I could still hear Jesse giggling.
Eventually, he stopped. "Susannah," he called silkily through the door.
"Go away," I shouted back. I heard him give a small chuckle, much to my indignation. As if sensing my scowl growing and my lips thinning, he hastily turned it into a hacking cough.
After several repeats of calling my name coaxingly in that irresistible, seductive voice he saves for catching me off guard and dismantling my defences, and no answer from me, Jesse turned to thunking his head against the door.
"You can't stay in there forever, querida," he wheedled.
"True," I said. "But I can ignore you when I have to get out."
There was a moment of silence...then, "Querida!" But I was stronger than that. I could ignore the shivers sent racing through my body when his smooth voice melted on my skin like honey. And I could resist the urge to fling open the door, grab him by his revealing shirt, throw him onto my bed, and let my most base, carnal urges take over my mind and body.
Because I was strong.
Didn't stop it from being hard, though.
I was so caught up in the thoughts of what exactly would happen if I let my most base, carnal urges be relinquished, that I didn't register Jesse's, "Fine. If you won't come to me, then I'll come to you."
It didn't register until he was sat opposite me in the tub, his long, lean legs bracketing mine. I almost had an embolism right there. "What are you doing?" I screeched, instinctively reaching my hands up to cover my boobs and squeezing my thighs together, bringing my knees up. It took a moment for it to sink into my tiny stunned brain that I wasn't actually taking a bath, therefore wasn't actually in my nudies.
"I'm coming to talk to you." As if that explained it all. Which, I guess it actually did. It's just that...well, no guy's ever invaded my bathtub – with me in it, no less – just to talk to me. He shuffled his cute Spanish butt a little to get comfortable and ended up edging closer to me to get his taps out of his back, giving them a quizzical look. Back in his day, they didn't exactly have the kind of sanitation equipment we have now. I mean, I guess they had faucets and stuff. But not shiny, silver-plated, Star Trekky taps.
We were like two hippos trying to fit into a Mini. Not that myself or Jesse resemble hippos, by any far stretch of the imagination.
"You came in here to laugh at me then lecture me," I paused when Jesse wriggled around some more. "I could have been naked!"
Color tinted Jesse's cheeks and I smirked. Although, he wasn't embarrassed enough for my liking, if you know what I mean. I wondered what, exactly, he would have done if I had been naked. And if he had considered the fact that I could have been in my birthday suit before he had so rudely entered.
But he was still pretty embarrassed. Ironic that the only guy I wouldn't mind seeing me naked is probably the only guy in modern times who doesn't even dream about seeing a fine young woman like myself naked. He's the only guy who doesn't gaze lustily at the Victoria's Secrets billboards, or hide a stack of nudies in his sock drawer. But I was working on it. Not the whole gazing lustily or hiding nudies thing. I mean the getting-over-the- fact-women-don't-wear-knicker-boxers-or-hoop-skirts-and-cover-up-every-part- of-their-bodies-even-when-it's-seventy-outside thing.
And boy, was it difficult.
Every time I went to the beach in my bikini, Jesse would avert his eyes and blush with humility on my behalf. Or I would catch him scowling at the skimpy things when I was busy crimping in the mirror.
"I didn't really expect you to start undressing, to be fair. You don't shower until after dinner usually and I can't think of any other reason why you'd..." He trailed off and reddened with mortification at the thought of thinking about me getting naked and being naked.
I rolled my eyes and lowered myself slightly to get more comfortable. I think my mom made sure my bathtub could only accommodate one person at a time. Yeah, cos it's real likely I'm going to have guys asking to take a bath with me.
Jesse stared at me intensely for a moment.
"What?" I demanded.
"Why are you taking shifting lessons with Paul?" I opened my mouth to reply but Jesse quickly cut me off before I could even utter a word. "And don't go on about that rubbish of 'taking your job seriously', I want the truth this time."
I can honestly say I couldn't think of a single lie. I could not think of a way of scamming myself out of this trap. I mean, I couldn't very well tell Jesse the truth. How wussy would that sound if he ever met a male friend? "Oh, I'm only here cos my girlfriend is saving my butt repeatedly". And we all know how proud men get when it comes to their delicate, over-inflated egos.
I didn't want to upset Jesse. His pride would be hurt, and he'd be annoyed that I was risking myself for him. Although, Jesse seemed to have this misconception that it was my life I was risking whenever I was around Paul, and not the truth that it was actually my virtue I was risking. But I think if I told Jesse that, he would be even more mad and murderous towards Paul.
"Um, well... Paul just thought it would be a good idea –" Jesse snorted and made a noise that sounded suspiciously like "duh". But I must have been imagining it. "If I made myself stronger, mediating and otherwise. Believe it or not Jesse, but Paul does care about me. Sorta. He doesn't want me to get hurt by angry ghosts, so he's helping me. And I don't want to get hurt by angry ghosts. So I accepted his offer." I focused my eyes on the scar running through Jesse's sleek black eyebrow.
He realigned himself so his eyes were level with where I was staring, leaving me with no choice but to look him in the eye.
"Tell me the truth, Susannah."
God, mind read much?
I gave a dejected sigh. "Fine. I'm taking shifter lessons with Paul because we made a deal that if I took them, he wouldn't harm you in any way, including exorcism. So basically, if I stop my lessons, Paul will be free to reign whatever terror he wants to. Which means he will exorcise you and then I will have to go kick his butt. And, Jesse," I looked up at him with big pleading eyes. "I don't want to have to go kick his butt because I know I'm gonna break a nail and mess up my hair." Plus I didn't want to do be arrested for murder, but I didn't think Jesse would think that was very deep of me. In fact, it sounded kinda shallow and selfish.
When Jesse didn't say anything for a minute I started to get worried. "Jesse?"
He looked at me and his eyes were hollow, there was no usual warmth or smile. Just emptiness and black.
"You're taking lessons with Paul to keep me from being exorcised?" I nodded, a little dip forming between my eyes.
"You're risking your life – and remember, Susannah, it is you who actually has a life – to keep me from being harmed in any way? You're putting your life in the hands of Paul Slater...for me?
I nodded. And Jesse let rip. A torrid of Spanish spewed from his mouth and I could feel it burning into my skin, like poker-hot snakes were slithering up and down my flesh. He sprang from his sitting position and towered over me, his face dark and thunderous and anger sparks practically flying from him.
And then he disappeared. Just like that.
I sat in the tub for a minute longer just staring at the taps. But he didn't come back. Completely weirded out, I rose from the tub and went to my bedroom. I didn't have much homework so I felt completely useless and bored. And it was all Paul's fault.
Seriously. Before he had interrupted I had been having undeniable, indisputable fun. With Jesse.
And then after Paul went, I was left sitting on the end of my bed listlessly swinging my feet. See? It's all Paul's fault. When is it ever not?
That guy is just incapable of not being a huge pain in the –
"Well, hello." I gave a squawk and tumbled off my bed.
"What the hell are you doing here? Go away! Shoo!" Paul lent down and offered me his hand. I took it and, with as much dignity as I could muster, I pulled myself up and brushed myself down.
"You called me, Suze. So I came." He raised an eyebrow as if confused by my state of confusion. Because I was confused. I didn't call Paul, that was for sure. I told him in so many words.
"Sure you did, Suze." I ground my teeth together and took a calming breath. Slapping him was not the way to go. Although it sure was tempting.
I stared up at Paul stolidly and enunciate clearly, "I did not call you, Paul. I did not say, 'Paul, I need you' or 'Paul, please come here'. I was just sat on my bed thinking about..." My eyes widened and I trailed off.
Holy cow. I had almost admitted to him I was thinking about him! Imagine what would happen if I had finished my sentence? His ego would have probably exploded. Not to mention the teasing... Sheesh. I had come that close.
But it's not like I was thinking about him in the wrong way. I was thinking about him in a purely biblical sense. If you call it biblical when you want to slap someone silly.
Unfortunately Paul had not ignored my abrupt sentence ending. He grinned and took a step closer to me. Obviously someone hasn't heard of a little thing called 'personal space'.
"You were thinking about me? Aw, Susie, Susie, Susie. You developing feelings for me? Or, no, wait. You're finally learning to accept those feelings. Wow. If I'd known being half-dead could bring me such treasures, I would've done it a long time ago."
Is that a bang I just heard? Was that his ego exploding?
"Whatever Paul. I was actually thinking about how annoying you are and why you insist on trying to ruin my life."
Paul opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off with an impatient hand gesture. "Now that you're here, I want to ask you more about your..." I waved my hand in his general direction. "Mini death stunt."
Paul raised his eyebrows but sat down next to me when I plunked my bottom on the end of my bed. "Stunt?" He asked.
I did a mental eye roll. "Fine. Theatrics then. Picky, picky, picky." I surreptitiously shuffled an inch or two away from his dominant form. "I want to go through those newspaper articles and stuff at your house. See if there's anything there that could help us with your predicament."
Now don't get me wrong. I wouldn't willingly go to Paul Slater's house even if there was a Prada sale going on there. But it seemed I would have to willingly go to Paul Slater's house if there was a chance it would lead to his re-establishment into the material world, and the end of his unshakable annoyance.
I figured there had to be something in all of Doc Slaski's notes about shifters getting stuck between worlds whilst in the act of shifting. And to get to the good Doc's notes, I would have to go to his and his grandson's house.
The latter of which seemed thoroughly delighted.
"Sure, Suze," he responded in a sceptical voice. I frowned at him. Why was he sceptical? What, did he think I actually wanted to be forced to go to his house? Did he think I was using it has some kind of excuse to...
Realisation his me with such a force I choked.
"No!" I practically screamed. Practically because I was still choking. "I do not want to go to your house for any other reason than to get you off my back!"
Paul smirked even more. "And you think by going to my bedroom with me, you'll get me off your back?"
I felt fire crawling up my neck and across my face. "I meant...What I mean to say is...That is...Paul! I am going to your house – to your bedroom – to look through your grandfather's notes. That is all. There are no social – or sexual – implications on my behalf as to why I am going to go to your house and to your bedroom." I folded my arms and scowled at him.
He appeared thoughtful for a while, staring back at me. Then, "In your randy dreams about me, did we ever make out in my bedroom?" When I just gaped at him in shock he added, "Or yours?"
I jumped off my bed as if I'd just sat on Spike the cat. "They weren't randy!" Paul raised an amused eyebrow. "Well, okay. They were a little...sensual" – Paul snorted – "but they weren't randy. And they weren't even true. They were fantasies that you installed in my mind. And we all know fantasies never lead to reality. Except in fairy tales. And, in case you haven't realised, my life is no fairy tale." Thank God. I can't stand most animals, let alone talking animals – or singing animals! – which all fairy tales seem to boast.
Paul stood up slowly and stepped close to me, tilting his face down to my upturned one, his eyes set on my mouth. "I could make your life a fairy tale, princess."
And he lowered his head as if he were about to kiss me.
OK, here's a new thing to tell me in reviews. You don't even hafta review my story, but you could click review and just tell me this info. It's just nice to know who's reviewing so i can read your stories.
Anyway. Tell me stuff you can put on the end of "holy". Like, when you say "holy cannoli" (thanks, Nice Hayley).
AS WELL AS TELLING ME WHERE YOU COME FROM.
