Yoyo! I told y'all to fear not. But did you listen? No. And so ye feared.
But here I am, with a thrilling new installment of... what is this again?
Anyhoo, I'm really on a roll with this story, so you can expect chappie 24 to be up SOON.
Thanks for TODOS los reviews - you guys are fantastical beyond beliefio.
Muchas gracias, mis chicas
I felt my breathing falter as I looked at the picture. Felt my world tilt as I realised what it meant. What I had known it would always have meant for me.
Before I even read the rhyme on the other page I knew what it would say.
In order to save Paul's life, I would have to sacrifice mine.
That was what the drawing represented. What else could it?
But still I felt some denial flicker inside of me, telling me I was too young to do this, telling me this was all a dream, that it wasn't real. Telling me I didn't have to do this; I had a choice.
I sucked in a deep breath, and those thoughts disappeared. I did have to do this. What right did I have to decide whether or not he died? If it were me in his position, he would sacrifice himself.
Probably.
Not that it mattered. The Good Samaritan didn't pick and choose his people-to-be-saved. Neither did I.
Suddenly, though, it seemed too much for me to handle – Suze the Great, who handled everything so well was caving – and I decided to escape for a while, from it all, just for a little bit.
Climbing to my feet, I hopped off the bed, and climbed out the window without grabbing a jacket to fight off the chill that was setting in.
Without any sense of where I was going, I unerringly headed towards the beach where the gentle lapping of the water against the shore calmed my frazzled nerves and soothed deep inside my mind.
I stared out at the moon reflected in the sea and the stars dotted up above me.
I was in such a heavy blanket of calm that when a voice spoke from beside me I screamed like a banshee and punched the perpetrator in the nose.
"Jesus Christ, Suze! It's me! Jim! Probably the only person in this world who wouldn't hurt you!" Jim stared at me from around the hand brutally pinching his nose.
"Oh my God, Jim! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you! Well, obviously I did mean to hit you because I thought you were maybe attacking me or about to attack me and it was really a reflex action but I didn't mean to hit you you." Jim's brow furrowed in confusion. I punched him lightly on the arm in annoyance. "You shouldn't sneak up on people!"
This time he rolled his eyes and snorted. "I didn't sneak. I walked and called out your name – several times – and then I reached your side and you broke my nose."
"It's not broken," I said in a babying voice. Then I bit my lip. "Is it?"
Jim shook his head. "Luckily for us guardian angels, we heal easy." So saying, I saw his nose realign itself and the blood disappear from his face.
"Neat trick," I murmured in amazement. Why couldn't I do that?
"Because then you'd turn evil and try to take over the world like Clark Kent in Superman: The Early Years. Which reminds me, why are they still making that show? Seriously."
Oh yeah, the whole 'I can read your mind' thing. I scrunched my nose and frowned at Jim. "I would not turn evil." Then I thought about it. An invincible me? Heck yeah, I would. "Meh."
Jim only hummed a little. "So… what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"
I rolled my eyes. "Slummin'."
This time Jim rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He slumped down on the sand and stretched himself out into a star position. "Feel like making snow angels?"
I fell down next to him, feeling a little sorry for him if he thought it was snowy. "There's no snow."
"I know that. Jeez. What do you think I am, stupid?"
"No. But you are part-crazy."
Jim nodded sagely. "True." He patted the sand next to him and I took up the invitation, laying myself out beside him.
We both contemplated the stars for a few minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. Or at least, so I thought, until Jim said, "I don't know why you've got all the guys chasing after you, you're possibly the most boring person I've ever met."
"Excuse me?" I said in all my indignation. "I was having a deep and serious moment just then. I can't help it if you're mind is a vacuous void of nothingness!" I rolled onto my side so my back was facing him, and then I huffed.
I closed my eyes and tried to gather the thoughts Jim had successfully wiped from my mind.
When I heard a faint popping sound, I opened my eyes. And damn near screamed.
"Jim! Jeez, stop it!"
Jim shrugged from his position on the sand in front of me. "Stop what?"
"Sneaking! Stop with the sneaking. And the popping."
"Sorry," he said, but I didn't think he meant it. Then he popped out of sight and popped back to reality behind my back again.
I rolled over and gave him my most disgusted look. "You are such a jerk. A really immature jerk, you know? I can't believe God would put someone like you on his payroll."
"Ditto, sweet cheeks."
Putting all of my sexism-outrage into my eyes, I glared at him, willing the force of it to burn a whole right between those pretty little eyes of his, like Superman when he feels like burning the bad guys.
Jim only grinned. "I knew that would get you."
"Call me sweet cheeks ever again and I'll get you."
"Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty."
"Shut up," I said. Though with a smile. "Jerk." Again, with a smile.
"What are you really doing here, Suze?" Jim asked, his eyes dark and serious and concerned.
It was the concern in them that made me look up at the stars. "I just needed some space. This ghost-busting business isn't as easy as it looks, you know." I threw a quick, careless smile at him, hoping to break up the cloud of sombreness that had settled over us.
Jim blew out a breath. "Trust me, I know."
Oh, yeah. The whole guardian-angel thing. It still got me. All the time I thought I was alone when really there was someone up there to keep a watch on me. Sort of creepy and sort of…nice.
"So the beach is the place to come for escapism?" Jim asked me.
"Yep, pretty much."
"Uh-huh. Now, you feel like telling me what else is going on or are we just going to lie here in silence until you figure out the meaning of life?"
I snuck a peek at him and saw he was doing the same as me – lying on his back, arms crossed behind his head, gazing up at the stars. I knew what it meant – his seemingly relaxed posture was supposed to take off any pressure I felt about telling him the truth.
Pretty sneaky. Shame it wouldn't work on me. And strangely, it did feel like a shame. For a girl who has so far grown up all her life without anyone to talk to about anything serious – until Jesse came along, that is – I've grown used to not wanting to talk to anyone about anyone. Hence my mother's constant concern for my future. So it was a bit of a surprise to find that I did want to talk this through with Jim.
But if I did… well, he's my guardian angel, isn't he? His sole purpose in life…or death…or wherever he is at the moment…is to keep me alive.
Therefore I doubt he'd take my sacrifice too well.
Probably he'd get a demotion from the Big Guy Upstairs. Or a clap on the back – let's face it, I can't be God's favourite person on this big earth considering half the sins I've committed. Heck, I've probably even invented a few of my own…
So instead of telling Jim about what was really bothering me – and the fact that he'd be going one-charge-short from now on, I just said, "Lying here sounds good."
And so we did.
I don't know how long we laid there in the sand, but I figured it would be a good time to start moving when I felt the sea tickling the toes of my Converse sneakers.
Dusting the sand from my clothes – how does it manage to get everywhere, even when you're not doing anything? – I stood up and watched Jim crack one lazy eye open to watch me.
"I'm gonna head back home now, before the sea swallows me whole." On this thought, I looked wistfully out to said body of water. It sure would solve my righteous problems…
Nah. Too easy. And too wet.
Jim saluted me. "I think I'll stay here and commune with the whales for a bit."
I backed away a little. "O-kay…That's cool with me. I'll just…go." And so saying, I pumped my legs as fast as I could go in the opposite direction, ignoring the laughter I could hear drifting past me.
God may have picked him for 'special duties', but that didn't mean he couldn't have been a little bit crazy. Or even, a big bit crazy.
As I was walking off, a thought did occur to me. Why did Jim want to talk, when he could just as easily read my mind? I stopped walking. Did that mean he already knew what I was planning on doing?
Then again, how could he know, when I barely knew myself?
The sun was beginning to rise as I walked back home and I slowed my pace to enjoy the unusual feeling of being out at odd hours for non-violent reasons. It was quite refreshing. Carmel looked peaceful and quiet, serene. It was…nice.
Kind of helpful in forgetting that my death might be approaching within the following 24 hours. If Paul was right when he said he had 2 days left before he completely died, then today was judgement day.
I arrived at my house and climbed the porch, crawling through the window and flopping onto my bed with the grace of an old decrepit man dancing. In other words; none.
"Okay," I murmured to myself, "what's the plan, genius?"
Well, first things first, I had to figure out exactly what needed to be done. For that, I would need a fellow mediator. One with experience.
Dr Slaski seemed like the perfect option.
But first…a little beauty sleep was in order. What? Just cos a girl's got to be a sacrifice doesn't mean she can't primp for it. I wanted to look my best for when God granted me with sainthood…
Yeah, and Madonna's gonna realize she's not 22 years old anymore.
Still, I had to pretend I hadn't been walking on the beach at the crack of dawn when my mom came in to wake me for school.
A little piece of ice seemed to pierce my heart at that. Mom. What was I going to tell her? How was she going to react?
And what about Doc? Or Andy? Or Father Dom? Or…oh, God, Jesse.
I knew how Jesse was going to react. Which is why I was not going to tell him what was going down tonight. Although tears stung my eyes at the thought, I stubbornly blinked them away, and then fell into a fitful sleep.
"Suze? Susie? Wake up, sweetie. It's a beautiful day…You don't want to be late for school."
I grunted to my mom and rolled over to my other side. Then I groaned and smushed my face into my pillow.
"Mom! Close the curtains!"
Her answer was to tug the covers away from me. I curled up even tighter. "Get up, lazybones."
I merely grunted again.
"Don't make me get Spike to wake you up."
Now that had me bolting upright. When Spike was an alarm clock, he left no skin intact. "I'm awake! I swear, I'm awake! Jeez, mom, I never thought you'd turn to child abuse."
Mom smiled innocently. "As you're always reminding, Susie, you're not a child anymore."
I stuck my tongue out at her in my I'm-an-adult response.
She turned her back to leave my room when I remembered my plans for this evening. It's amazing, how heavily being a martyr can sit on your mind. "Hey, mom?"
She turned back. "Yes?"
I swallowed the itchy ball that was forming in my throat. "I love you, you know."
Mom smiled. "I know. I love you too, honey." She turned to go again.
"And Andy!" I said, trying to convey, without being too obvious about my impending death, how important it was that she understood how serious I was being. "I love Andy too. I never told you, but he's a great stepdad, and I couldn't have picked anyone better for you to have married. I'm so glad you're happy, mom."
This time I couldn't hide the tears in my eyes and mom frowned in concern.
"Are you okay, Susie? What's brought all this on?"
"Oh, you know." I sniffled. "I watched one of those Danielle Steele movies and it made me realize how fragile life can be." Because mom still looked dubious, I added, "And how powerful the bond of love can be." I shook my head solemnly. "It's amazing what the heart can endure for the sake of love…"
Mom reached over and patted my head. "It's just a movie, sweetie." She gave me another concerned look. "Maybe you should just stick with those action movies in the future." And then she left.
I sucked in a breath. "What future?" I whispered to myself.
And then I did what all good Mediators do. I made myself look good. I picked out one of my nicest outfits – my Abercrombie and Fitch green vintage knit tee and my Urban Outfitters plaid pleat skirt, all set off nicely with my Steve Madden Lipstik ankle boots – and then made my face up with my kick-ass Estée Lauder Pure Color lip gloss.
With one pout in the mirror, I looked and felt ready to take on the world.
First, though, I had to take on Sister Ernestine.
After gliding down the stairs waiting for my slow-mo moment to arise like in the movies – if Rachel Leigh Cook can get a slow-mo moment in She's All That after all she did was let her hair down and pluck her eyebrows, I think I deserved one for turning Suze Simon into Suze Simon uber-babe – I opened the front door and then jumped to the side to let Dopey – Brad, I mean – get through. "Ladies first," I muttered.
He grunted then yelled into the house, "David, get your puny butt down here or I'll leave without you."
I sneered in disgust at Brad's back as he opened the door to the car and heaved himself in.
As I let myself into the passenger seat, a horrifying thought struck me: who would take care of Doc when I was gone?
Brad barely even remembered he had a little brother, how could he possibly protect David from the dangers of the world? Not that Brad even knew about the dangers of the world – all he thought about was beer and babes and his bulging muscles.
Ew, gross.
Now Brad I was not going to miss. Not him, his friends, or his smells. Seriously, a little cologne – heck, even a shower – every now and then wouldn't hurt.
Don't think I'm heartless. He's my stepbrother, and I'd protect him from anything if I had to. But he is a selfish, smelly jock. And so on principle, I had to hate him.
I probably would miss Jake, if only for his ferrying me about whenever I needed. He had never done anything to particularly bug me, but it's not like he'd done anything to please me. Still, he could be nice; whenever he was awake enough to try.
David climbed into the car and Brad immediately shot out of the driveway. We got to school and Brad jumped out instantly, tapping his foot in a futile effort to hurry Doc and I out. I shot Doc a glance in the rearview mirror and shared an eye roll with him, then climbed out.
"See you losers at the end of the day. Don't be late." Brad had already started walking away when he said this, so he missed the bird I flipped at his back.
Doc called out a See you later and I watched him go, wishing I could hug him to me and squeeze him tight. Instead I watched him walk into school, suddenly feeling like a mom when she waves her son off for his first day at school.
I turned to follow him and crashed straight into a lean, tall male body.
Large hands clasped my shoulders and held me upright.
"Hey Suze," Adam said once he'd set me on my feet again.
"Adam. How's it going?"
Adam looked down at his feet and heaved a sigh before collapsing against the side of the car. "It's CeeCee. I think she might be dying."
That got my attention. "What?"
Adam looked at me and I was surprised to see genuine fear in his eyes. "Remember yesterday at school when she flipped out at me for no reason?" I refrained from correcting him by telling him he was the reason for being such a jackass. "And that evening I called her and she told me she had more important things to worry about than me and then she hung up me. And then this morning I rang her and she told me to drop dead and then hung up on me. So I figure, she's got an incurable disease or something."
I stared in bemusement and tried to figure out the twisted, convoluted workings of Adam's mind that got him from CeeCee ignoring him to CeeCee dying.
"Adam, CeeCee is not suffering from an incurable disease."
Adam's eyes lit up. "You mean it's curable? Oh, thank God! Thank. You. God!" He leapt upright and threw his hands up to the sky.
I punched his arm. "She doesn't have any type of disease, you dumb ass. She's ignoring you because for the past half a decade she has been madly in love with you – though, for what reason, I have no idea because as far as I can see you're pathologically stupid – and all the while you have ignored her and gone chasing skirts while she's sat at home wishing you were chasing her."
Adam's brow furrowed as he looked at me. "CeeCee doesn't wear skirts."
"That is not the point!" This time I threw my hands to the sky. I rounded on Adam and from the way he cringed backwards, there must have been murder in my eyes. "CeeCee loves you, you monkey-brained ass. She is fed up of waiting for you to come to your senses and make some move – any move – about it. So if you don't do something – fast – you will lose her. You will lose her friendship, you will lose her companionship, you will lose her love. And then you will realize how big a loser you really are."
I glared at Adam to make sure the point hit home.
Adam's eyes dropped from mine and stared mindlessly at my midriff.
"CeeCee loves me," he whispered.
I nodded. "Yes, she does. But she is fully capable of loving someone else," Adam scowled at that, "of loving someone who loves her back. Because that is the very least that CeeCee deserves." This time Adam flinched.
"I didn't realize."
Because he sounded so shocked and a little ashamed, I touched my hand to his sagging shoulder. "I know. And that's what hurt her the most. You haven't seen her – haven't looked at her properly all these years you've been friends."
Adam swallowed and nodded and I saw his eyes glisten with tears.
Then he cleared his throat. "I need to do some thinking," was all he said before he walked purposefully toward the school.
I stood for a few moments watching him before shaking my head.
Man, I was going to miss finding out how that all turned out in the end.
Shame I had an appointment with the Big Dude first.
The rest of the day passed without incident – no visits from Paul, none from Jesse, none from any ghosts at all. It was the last period when I decided it was time I faced Father Dom, and so I excused myself from English (I had 'lady problems' and needed to visit the nurse – I was so out of there with no problems) and shuffled my feet in the direction of Dom's office.
When I knocked on his door I felt my heart stutter. When he called out a "Come in!" I felt it damn well stop in my chest.
He smiled when he saw me then frowned in concern. "Are you alright, Susannah?"
"Actually, no. I'm half left." I grinned, trying to lighten my mood with a bit of humor.
Father Dom didn't laugh. I resisted rolling my eyes at his seriousness. "I just wanted to let you know…"
Now, here was the thing: did I tell Father Dom the truth, or not? I figured…not. He would probably freak and tell my parents. But then again, would he just let Paul die?
I sucked in a deep breath. "I just wanted you to let you know that I think I might have found a way to get Paul back to normal." I saw Father Dom's eyes light up. "But I'm not sure," I hurriedly added, "so don't get your hopes up. I thought I'd inform you of my progress and tell you…Thanks. For all your help over the past year or two. I couldn't have done it without you. So…thank you. You helped me understand who I am and what I am, and that meant – that means a lot to me."
For the hundredth time today I felt my throat clog with tears. "Just to let you know," I whispered. "See you."
I left the office with Father Dom doing a pretty good fish impression.
The final bell rang and I walked out of school, casting it one last glance once I'd reached the car. I spotted Cee walking out and lifted my hand to give her a wave, then dropped my hand when I saw Adam running breathlessly up to her. I watched as she turned and listened to whatever Adam was talking reverently about.
Then Brad arrived and Doc arrived and interrupted my viewing.
"Ready to go, Suze?" Doc asked.
"I've got to go somewhere before I go home. So tell mom I'll be back later."
Brad grunted – big surprise – and got in the car, but Doc eyed me suspiciously. "Where are you going?"
I stared blankly at him while my brain tried to conjure up a suitable story. "Paul's," I said, deciding the truth was usually easier to twist than a whole new story. "I'm going to go round to Paul's. We found out his…thing…" I raised my eyebrows in significance and Doc's rose in sympathy with mine, "has a time-limit, so he'll be appearing back in full form tonight. I want to be there when he does in case anything goes wrong."
Doc nodded in understanding. "What do you want me to tell mom?"
See? This is why I love the little guy so much. "Just tell her I've gone round to CeeCee's to study." Then I thought. "Actually, tell her I'll be sleeping round at Cee's. It's Saturday tomorrow, so she shouldn't have that big a problem."
Doc's eyes grew large. "You mean you're going to stay the night at Paul's?"
"No!" My eyes grew bigger than Doc's. "No, I just mean that I don't know how long it'll take for him to…reappear, so I can't tell mom a guaranteed time I'll be back."
I didn't mention that I wouldn't actually be coming back. Ever. I had to go say my goodbyes to Dr Slaski, but after that I didn't think I'd be able to handle going back home and acting like everything was normal. Acting like it wasn't my last day on earth.
But Doc didn't need to know that, and the story I'd fed him was clearly all he needed for reassurance. "See you tomorrow then, Suze." He had his hand on the door handle for the car before he turned back to me and said, "Just remember: safe sex is the only sex you should have." With a satisfied nod, he opened the door, got in, and I was still gaping like the village idiot as he drove away out of the car park.
Safe sex with Paul? I didn't want to go there. Where I did want to go was his house, though.
It was time I paid a visit to his grandpops.
It was a long walk, but I figured I could use the time to sort out my affairs – at least in my head. Like, who would look after Spike when I was gone? Sure, he was a shedding, ginger, über-pain in the ass, but he was still my pet. Doc would hopefully take care of him.
These sorts of thoughts occupied me all the way to Paul's giant greenhouse so when I arrived I was feeling a little glum, until I saw Dr Slaski's nurse and his big, contagious smile.
"Suze! Long time no see. How's it going? Are you here to see Paul or Dr Slater?" I opened my mouth to tell him Dr Slater but clearly he had more to say. "Because I must tell you, Paul hasn't been around lately. No. For the past few days he's been…gone! It's upset Dr Slater no end."
This time I made sure he'd finished before I began speaking. "Is that right?" I feigned surprise, sounding pretty convincing for someone who'd had no acting lessons. "Kids these days, eh?" I shook my head sagely. "Luckily I'm here to see Dr Slas- I mean, Dr Slater."
"Come in, then. Come in. He's sat in his TV room watching General Hospital. It's one of his favourites."
I smiled. "Understandably."
He waved me into the house. "I'll leave you two alone while I go make him his lunch."
"Ok, sure. I won't be very long; I'm not a great conversationalist." I waited for a smile to let me know he got the joke, but I think the irony was lost on him. With a cough, I let myself into the TV room. "Yo, Doc Slask." I dragged a chair round to face him. "Thought I'd pop in to let you know I'll be heading off my mortal coil tonight, and I wanted to say goodbye."
I watched as Paul's grandfather's eyes – normally unfocused – suddenly centered in on me like a shark detecting its prey.
"What?" His usually blurred speech (when he spoke at all) was as sharp as his eyes.
I gave a nonchalant shrug that I didn't feel in my heart. "Oh, you know. The usual story. Girl meets guy, guy uses voodoo magic to turn himself into a semi-ghost, girl sacrifices herself to save guy. Your typical teen lifestyle."
"I told you to leave that grandson of mine alone, Susannah. I told you he was bad news."
I waved that comment aside. "I know, I know. But I've got to, really. What kind of human being would I be if I just left him to…vanish?"
Dr Slaski's hand lashed out and locked onto mine, holding in a surprisingly firm grip that tugged me towards him. "Listen to me, girl. You can't let yourself do this. You have a chance to put many wrongs in this world right. You have the heart to do it. Don't throw it all away." His crystal clear blue eyes searched mine frantically, as if he could find something to convince me not to do what I had to do.
"It's too late, Dr Slaski. I found the Book of the Dead – it told me my destiny was in that book and what I read was what I have to do tonight. I know what I have to do. If I didn't follow it through, I would never be able to live with the guilt. Or live with myself."
Dr Slaski stared intently at me for a minute before he let go of my hand with a softly murmured, "Damn it."
"I came round here to tell you goodbye, Dr Slaski. And thanks for all your help." I wisely ignored his snort.
I stood to go.
Dr Slaski grabbed my wrist again and dragged me down until I was eye level with him. Then his shaking, bony hands reached up and cradled my head. "Stupid, stupid girl," he whispered, then planted a hard kiss on my forehead.
I felt tears sting my eyes and was about to draw back when I heard him muttering under his breath.
"Wha-?" I had barely got the question out when all of sudden my heart seemed to slow, and my eyesight dimmed. I felt my lids go heavy as the desperate urge to sleep slammed into me. Distantly, I heard Dr Slaski still muttering, his lips brushing my forehead with every word he said.
And then he let go of my head and I heard him say, "Goodbye from me, Susannah." I never noticed that his breathing was shallower; his voice raspier than normal, as if something had been drained from him.
Instead I nodded, not really understanding what was going on, or where I was, through the thick fog inside my head, and I walked out the door.
I heard the nurse call out a goodbye but my lips were too lax for me to form any words and so I simply walked out of the house into the dazzling sunlight, blinking the fog from my mind.
"What the hell was that?" I wondered.
Again, not one of the most thrilling chappies in the story, BUT VAIR VAIR IMPORTANT!
And also thought I'd do something about the Adam-CeeCee situation. BUT HOW WILL IT ALL END?
With death, I assure you.
Just kidding. Or am I...?
