"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"
Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?
Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?
[For those curious about the Tom Swift adventures, of course much of this is taken from "Tom Swift and His Diving Seacopter", one of the best books in the series which got me into science long, long, long ago.]
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
[Special note. Sorry for the delays on this and several others in progress but too many ideas at once and too much going on in real life these days. But, will see if we can move her along…]
Part XIV…
The galley of the Arturo section of Tom Swift's Ocean Arrow diving seacopter…Racing through the night sky to its hoped for rendezvous with an alien cargo from the stars…
("Whoa, dude..." Raj shook head, reading. "Neat, huh?" Leonard beamed. "I really should have been Swift you know...Or at least the heroic Indian astrophysicist who saves the cargo from Lesley and Kripke." Raj frowned. "I mean space cargo, aliens...Astrophysicist? Hello? Instead, I'm the military guy who's not even in any scenes again till he comes in to say… Uh, what will I be saying?"
"Haven't written it yet, Raj." Leonard shrugged.
"Well at least make it memorable...Maybe foreboding...Like in the better 50s sci-fis and the old classic 'Outer Limits' episodes where they find the aliens are either actually very nice and moral...Or impossible to fully kill.")
"I still find it hard to believe that Swift would've diverted the cargo when he already had full access, Wyckliffe." a seated Proton shook head, eyeing the said Munson Wyckliffe across from him. "As to your other concerns…"
"I'm sure you suspect me, with some prompting from dear ole Tommy…" Munson Wyckliffe eyed him, sipping at her cocoa. "But keep an open mind, that's all I ask. You, too, comrade." She smiled at Penova, seated next to Proton, she giving pensive look. "By the way, do you have any ideas on Swift's friends? Is it plausible, what Swift's told us?"
"Given what we know of Mars' past, wery plausible, after fact." Dr. Hofstadter nodded ("I think I should put on my glasses here. I wanna feel sciency for the scene." "By all means..." Leonard shrugged. "Oh, honey..." Bernadette frowned, looking over from video camera as a frustrated director Howard waved a cut. "This scene with you and that open robe is about as far from 'sciency' as you could get."
"What's that supposed to mean? Leonard was just adding in a little comic relief there, right?" Penny eyeing Leonard who gave noncommittal stare…
"Of course, comic relief…" Howard nods indulgently. "So lets get on with it, eh guys, right?"
"Is Amy bringing the marshmallows for my cocoa?" Sheldon asked. "We should have it for realism…I would have marshmallows."
"Absolutely…" Howard beamed. "So long as it keeps Amy out of the room while we shoot the soft core porn scene…" Bernadette noted to him, aside. "Absolutely…" Howard hissed.)
"There could have been sufficient time for such life to develop and any sentient life must have only two choices after the cwrisis began…" Penova agreed. "Adapt planet or themselves. Cleawrly they chose to adapt themselves. Fascinating if twrue, for them to choose to fly among the stawrs forever as the inwentor of wrocketwry, Konstantin Eduardovich Tsiolkovsky would agree."
("Admit it, Sheldon...You're impressed I remembered the names." Penny noted, beaming.
"It's only one name, bestie..." Amy, carefully. Sheldon offering arch smile and happily taking marshmallow.)
"Forgetting Goddard and Robert Esnault-Pelterie, and Hermann Oberth…But you inwented it first, of course." Wyckliffe, sardonically, Hofstadter frowning.
("I bet anything Winkle's using crib notes..." Penny hissed to Leonard. "Quiet! Quiet on the set!" Howard cried.
"Yeah! Quiet!" Bernadatte cried at a level so far above Howard's that all conversation ceased.)
"Ladies…" Proton put up a hand…
"Ah, the restraining hand of male dominance, here to set up clucking hens right…" Wyckliffe glared.
"No…" Proton shook head… "Though for once I agree with you, Wyckliffe, Goddard and Esnault-Pelterie, and Oberth deserve equal credit with Tsiolkovsky…Look…" he indicated the dark matter detector in the main cabin where a screen had lit up. "I think we have a hit…", he set down his cocoa and hurried out of the galley, the others following.
"Is it a sizable mass?" Wyckliffe eyed the screen readout…
"Yes, very much so…Bigger than we are, for certain…" Proton nodded.
"Then this is at least largest concentwration of dawrk matter near Earth ever detected. And it's inside Mars orbit on course for Earth if I follow data correctly." Penova stared.
"Yes…Again, very much so." nod.
"And it's headed straight for us at about one million miles per hour if I'm reading this right." Wyckliffe blinked.
"Yes." Nod. "But that's definite deceleration from the speed I first detected now that I can confirm those results."
"Then…It really is coming." Wyckliffe.
"Unless it's going to change course and head for Venus or Mercury or parts unknown, yes." Proton agreed.
"Lawrger than us?" Penova stared at the screen.
"About twice our size, the ship here I mean, not the Earth." Proton tapped at the screen.
"That's good." Wyckliffe noted dryly. "Now how do we handle this?"
"Well, I imagine Swift will get the UN to come in…" Proton shrugged. "We'll be first to inspect and secure though."
"Will we?" Wyckliffe, sardonic smile.
"What does that mean, Pwrofessor?"
"It means what I've just been saying…You know it won't be UN craft that show up in support…Or rather it will be UN craft that just happen to all sport the Swift Enterprises logo." Wyckliffe frowned. "So I ask again, how do we handle this?"
"Are you suggesting we not alert the others?" Proton eyed her.
"Whoa…" mock-stumble back, grin. "For once you actually get what I'm sayin'. Yes, 'Professor' Neutron, I'm suggesting exactly that."
"This is not our agwreement…" Penova, cautiously. "And the others will see the data soon."
"Not if we remove the data…" Wyckliffe noted, hard stare.
"Why would I agree to that, Wyckliffe?" Proton, grimly. Stepping to intercom panel.
"Because I asked you to. Wait." She insisted as Proton took mike. "If you tell Swift now, everything is in his corner. If you hold this one bit back, we can see what he does next. I know he's accused me of being the diverter…" she nodded grimly. "…And right now there's no way I can clear myself of that but if I am, there's little I could here and now whereas if he's the one taking the alien tech and samples for himself, he holds all the cards." She cocked head at Proton. "We may not trust each other, Proton, but we are fellow scientists and this is too great a discovery…And a danger…To be kept from the rest of the world. At least hold back this info till you've had a chance to see what's what here. If the cargo is on course we're heading to it anyway but he'll be cautious till he knows it's actually in range. You tell him now and he could do anything, maybe even try to intercept it. After all, he needed your detector to be sure of the thing's arrival."
Penova and Proton regarded the pleading face…
"Pwrofessor?" Penova, carefully. "There might be mewrit in what Dr. Wyckliffe is suggesting. It wouldn't change mission to hold back this information for a short time."
"Your Rwussian gurlfriend's right, Neutron…" Wyckliffe, grinning.
"I am not…" "She's not…"
"Not what?" Dr. Amy's voice from behind. The good if somewhat grim-looking doctor herself stepping into the light, dressed in her nightgown and robe, nightcap secure on head.
"Oooh…I think we're gonna need more cocoa." Wyckliffe beamed.
…
Hmmn…Dr. Amy, glaring at Penova and Proton as they sat in the main cabin where she'd insisted on seeing his dark matter data…Though, as Wyckliffe had gleefully noted on being asked to stay behind for a few moments, in the galley…She was clearly seeing planning to see red there as well.
"Well?" Amy, stern look at Proton… "Did she buy it?" Careful look to the galley entrance.
"Hook and all those other fishing implements but I would find it far more reasonable than people like me or even Wyckliffe should be induced to buy comic books and memorabilia than hooks, lines, or sinkers." Proton noted.
"Thanks for your flirtatious help, doctor." Amy eyed Penova coolly. "I appreciate your trusting us and going along on such short notice. I'm sure it helped to have you considering her offer and threw Dr. Wyckcliffe off-balance to think we might be at odds."
"Oh, it was true pleasurables…And I really was Proton fan from childhood. Seniors and Juniors Proton did for me. Uh, in Sciences, of course." Dr. Hofstadter hastily added, adjusting robe a bit.
"Da." Amy, coldly. "In Science, of course. Proton? Did she give away anything? Any clue that as to her plans? Proton?"
("Leonard? Why am I supposed to be looking at Penny here?" Sheldon asked. "It seems rude to Amy."
Howard eyeing Bernadette…
Just keep filming…
"Yes, Leonard..." Amy eyed Leonard grimly. "It does seem rude to Amy...My character, I mean...But again, har-dee-har-har for the comic relief sexual levity. I'll be right back...I hafta use the ladies room."
"I think I need to go too..." Penny offered.
"No, no...Unless you really have a full bladder to evacuate." Amy shook head.
"Even I get she's mad about that last one, Leonard." Sheldon hissed to him. "Don't have me stare at Penny's nightie again, please? It scares me when Amy gets mad."
"I'm just trying to add a little romantic tension, here Sheldon. I know...We all know...You would never stare at Penny's nightie in real life. Don't be scared, I'm sure Amy knows..."
"She cries when she's mad about me. Don't make her cry, Leonard." Sheldon, solemnly. "Please?"
Leonard eyeing the solemn face..."You're right, Sheldon. I'm sorry." he sighed. Glance to Howard who sighed in turn…
"Why don't we refilm…?" Leonard began. "Maybe we could have Penny sit a little further away and tie up her robe?"
Things I do for my bestie…Penny sighed.
"Why don't we?" Howard, a bit grimly.
So much for the one chance we had to go viral now the 'Amy Code' is in effect…Bernadette hissed to Howard.
"Unless of course…Guys, I need to reload here!" she cried, coy smile to Howard.)
"Hmmn? Oh, well...She clearly doesn't want Swift to have access to the ship and its contents…Though I must say she made a strong case for it as an honest person, if we didn't believe Tom's evidence to the contrary." Proton shrugged.
"The security footage he gave you from her visit to Swift Enterprises is pretty conclusive. She did slip into his secure office that day even if she managed to mostly erase the cameras." Amy nodded.
"She is right though about the aliens' breaking the light barrier. If that technology becomes available, we'll have starships." Proton noted.
"And she is dedicated to blocking any move by Humanity into space, at least till she's satisfied we won't damage any life-baring, inhabited planets." Amy pondered. "I can't say I completely oppose her there. And while 'Tom', your new best bud, may mean well, he'll no doubt have a new Swift starship ready in a year and start poking about once he's deciphered the aliens' technology…Worrisome, even if he'd have the best intentions. And many others wouldn't…"
"Are you saywing you is sympathywise with Dr. Wyckcliffe?" Penova eyed her
"I can understand her concerns." Amy shrugged. "As a great exo-biologist I imagine you do too."
("Thanks, bestie." Penny beamed. "Don't mention it." Amy nodded. "And would you mind closing that robe a little more, please?" "Oh, sorry…But you know…" Penny tied robe. "When I injured my shoulder that time and I was completely…" she eyed Amy's drawn, grim face… "uh, fully dressed, he had to help me to the bedroom and then the hospital, holding me and being a perfect gentleman…"
"Come on, bestie." Amy frowned. "You think I didn't get every nanosecond of the 'Softy Kitty Shoulder incident' out of Sheldon? Breast feel and every nanometer of your exposed flesh."
"I crumbled like moist cookie dough…" Sheldon nodded.
"Well, it was only him helping me…" Penny tried.
"He held your breast, for 0.8 seconds." Amy, grimly. "Unavoidably or not…And I still dispute the physics involved."
"I'll get the whiteboard…" Sheldon turned.
"Not in front of other people…" Amy insisted. "We can do the review tonight."
"Now I'm a little bothered…" Penny blinking… "What, you actually timed it?" she eyed Sheldon.
"You dawg…" Leonard grinned at a nervous Sheldon in his Proton bedrobe, eyeing Amy. Penny eyeing Leonard with annoyance…This is me, your beloved, supposedly, you're making cheap jokes about here, bucko.
"Just have a little fun and maybe just a very modest revenge, here, honey." Leonard noted quietly to her as Sheldon anxiously followed Amy. "I mean, who'd believe you and Sheldon were gettin' it on?"
"Oh?" hard stare. "Glad to know someone touching my breast for whatever his built-in egg timer recorded doesn't bother you. Especially with someone…" she paused.
"Excuse me?" Amy frowned.
"Amy…I don't feel that way about Sheldon, you know that." Penny sighed. "But you know I love him, in my way. And God knows if he could make you love him the way you do and put up with him…"
Should we really be filming this? Even surreptiously?…Bernadette hissed to Howard.
"Strickly for the Wolowitz-Rostenkowski film archives, dear. Historically importance only." Howard noted. "Though do not erase that earlier tape…"
"…Well, can't we just say…It puts him ahead of a lot of jerks I've hung out with." Penny shrugged. "But no goddamn where near this smug little arse." She frowned at Leonard. "And don't pretend with me, either, bestie… You didn't think Leonard had fallen for you that time because you never gave him a thought." Shrewd stare.
"Yeah, well…" Amy shook head, a bit anxious now. Sheldon eyeing her.
Hmmn…That time which I had thought we'd agreed to put to oblivion, eh?
"Ok, ok…" Leonard put up a hand. "I have been a little concerned at times. You're very fond of Sheldon, I know that…" he sighed.
Raj, coming into the set area with a couple of boxes of "props" i.e. the boys' toys and a few legit pieces of science lab equipment, for later scenes he'd been sent for, startled…
Guys?
"Look, bucko…" Penny, annoyed. "I still have nightmares you get bored with me and run off with Amy…I was never so scared and hurt as when you went on and on about what a great time you had with her at that damned wedding…"
"What…?" Leonard stared.
Not the time to bring up our night together…Raj noted to himself, hastily scurrying back to his car for more boxes.
The damned wedding indeed…Sheldon eyed Amy who was now on the defensive…
Penny may not have a scientific instinct bone in her body…But Romance? Or just the hormonal bit?
"We talked about this, Sheldon…" Amy tried. "You know I don't really have feelings for Leonard…"
"Hell, Priya didn't scare me half so much. Amy was someone you might really have loved, cause she's almost as loving as you are…Let alone the Science stuff." Penny, Sad stare.
"What…?" Leonard stared.
"I believe it was 'he is very sweet and I can admire his hopeless romantic quest for the unattainable' wasn't it?" Sheldon, quietly.
"I was paying tribute to Romance…" Amy tried, now completely on defensive, regarding Sheldon and Penny's grim faces.
"And now he's gone and won the unattainable…Proving such was not in fact, all that hopeless." Sheldon, stern look.
"That's a complement, right?" Penny hissed to Leonard.
"Kinda one you might not wanna harp on…" he noted.
"This is hilarious…I gotta see what you've shot here later." Lesley, seated, beamed brightly to Bernadette. "Where's Barry?" she looked about anxiously.
"He's not in any scenes till later…" Bernadette replied. "He thought he might as well go back to his office and come back later…"
"He didn't say he was leaving. Why didn't he tell me he was going? I mean…I wanted to share the chance to mock…" Lesley eyed her, frowning at the sympathetic look. "What are you lookin' at?" she strode off, clearly weeping at end.
Tell them I went for soda, not more film…Howard hissed to Bernadette.)
