"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"

Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?

Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?

[For those curious about the Tom Swift adventures, of course much of this is taken from "Tom Swift and His Diving Seacopter", one of the best books in the series which got me into science long, long, long ago.]

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…

[Special note. Sorry for the delays on this and several others in progress but too many ideas at once and too much going on in real life these days. But, will see if we can move her along…]

Part XV…

Wishing Dr. Hofstadter good night…Firmly…Very firmly in Dr. Amy's case…Dr. Amy and Professor Proton, Jr. had returned to the galley where Munson Wyckcliffe awaited.

"So where's our Russkie exobio?" Munson eyed them. Ah…She grinned. "Trouble in Protonian paradise, eh?"

"No." Dr. Amy, curtly. "Right, Professor?"

"Uh, right. No. Trouble…Anywhere."

"We just felt it best for us to talk…Without her." Dr. Amy noted.

"Oh…?" noncommittal look.

"You know her government surely wants the cargo in its hands, Putinsky is little short of a dictator. Wyckcliffe, we have similar concerns about the cargo and ship falling into any government's hands…" Dr. Amy explained.

We do? "Oh, yes, we do. Governments bad. Except the good ole USofA." Proton noted.

"Any government, Proton." Amy frowned.

C'mon, play with me here…

"Ok…And I agree as to Mother Russia's grabby hands, though I don't trust any of them. Probably right to leave Proton's new girlfriend out…"

"Excuse me…?" Proton, blinking…

"Kidding…God knows any relationship of yours is strictly platonic, I know…" smile.

"Hardly." Amy, cold stare. "But our business…And not important here."

"Ooola-la…" chuckle by Wyckcliffe. "Amy, you have achieved the impossible if that's so. But ok…" she put up a hand to Amy's glare… "And so you'd be willing to help me see that doesn't happen…" Wyckcliffe eyed her. "Even if it might mean destroying the ship and its cargo?"

"Destroying? No…" Proton, hastily.

"We'd be concerned about the danger of contamination…" Amy, sighing…Eyeing Proton.

I clearly should have played the role of potential collaborator alone…

Maybe just possibly thrown in a bit of frustration with my…Associate…Proton…

"True enough…I'd only consider it as a last resort and only under as safe conditions as possible." Wyckcliffe nodded. "Fine then. I'll go this far…You can go ahead and let Swift know the ship's detected and on its way, he knows that already and it would make him suspicious if you held back data. For my part, I won't ask you to do anything now but when the time comes, after Swift shows his hand and makes it clear he means to seize the ship…All I ask is, you consider the consequences, both of you? And don't get in my way, if you can't see your way clear to helping me?"

"Fair enough, right Proton?" Amy eyeing him.

What…But this sounds like…?

"Proton?" she glared.

"Right. Fair enough." He nodded.

"Great, well…Have a riproaring shag…" Wyckcliffe grinned, finishing cocoa and rising. "I'm for some sleep myself."

"Thanks…" Proton nodded.

What's a shag?...he hissed to Amy as they left… And how is it when it's "riproaring"?

"I'll show you later." She patted him.

"She doesn't believe us, you know." He noted. She staring at him…

"I know Munson Wyckcliffe." He shrugged. "I've had countless fights and quarrels with her in person and over the internet. She had her '…sure you are' face on."

"Hmmmn…Wait?" Dr. Amy eyed him. "You speak with her that much? I didn't know that. It's been three years since we attend a conference with her."

"She delights in the tic-tac-toe of scientific debate." Proton shrugged. "I haven't seen her at a conference since that last one you mentioned. But she's had me over for dinner and we debate on line."

"What?" Amy blinked. "Over for…"

"She made me spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it…"

("Wait…Where did you get that?" Penny eyed Leonard. "That's from me having Sheldon over, isn't it?"

"Well…I just thought…" Leonard began…

"There wasn't anything to that…Why would you try to suggest…?"

"Just a little more sexual tension…" Leonard noted. "Injecting some complexity into the relationship of Proton and Wyckcliffe…"

"Did it bother you that I had Sheldon over for dinner…Alone?" Penny eyed him.

"Not till you said it like that…" Leonard noted.)

"She did what?" Amy stared. "You never told me that…Damnit! I make the spaghetti and hot dogs…Me."

(Eyeing Penny standing off set…

"Is Amy trying to tell me something?" she hissed to Leonard.

"Welll…"

"Damnit, I'm the professional actress here…I'm the one who makes clever use of real-life situations and emotional conflicts. Uh…Go and tell her that." Hand wave…

"Tell her what, that she's not supposed to be good? Or not supposed to be jealous of you?" frown.)

"Hers were pretty good." Proton shrugged.

"Proton? I thought you hated each other. You've been going behind my back to see her?"

"Only when you weren't in town…And she called and asked me." he noted, innocently.

The middle engine compartment of the Ocean Arrow connecting the two living and working sections. The massive rotors churning in their containment vessel…

"Hewllo, beautiful…" a voice before Dr. Hofstadter, crossing back to the rear section.

"Dr. Kripke…" she eyed Bwarry… Fully dressed…

"You are up early…Or late…"

"Yeah…I wanted a gwander at Proton's dark matter wreadings…Have you been having a look?"

"Yes, the Professor showed me his…readings."

"Did he? Must have been vwery nice wreadings…You seem excited."

"Yes, they were very pwromising…" she nodded.

"Then the ship is on its way…" he smiled.

"It seems so…Tomorrow will tell tale."

"Now, honey…" wider smile. "We can talk freely here. I'm in on the deal with my sis…"

"Deals?" Penova eyed him.

"You and Munson have a deal…Well, your government does. Now suwrely you wremember?"

"I knows of no such…Please excuse me." She frowned, attempting to go past him.

"That's fine that you want to keep it to her and you…" Kripke nodded. Blocking her way…

"But the problem is, see…I know you've been talking to Prwoton and Dr Amy behind sis' back. I'm not quite so twrusting as my sis and I bugged the fowrward compartment, though mainly to get any new info fwrom Pwroton's detector. You didn't tell them all about your Prwesident's dealings with her…Us…But you did make your own deal with them. Not very patrwoitic, Dr. Hofstadter. Or wise, given whom you are dwealing with." Cold tone.

"I knowing nothing of what you say…Please to get out of my way, Doctor." She insisted. "You should know I'm well-versed in the self-defenses…And I believe I am bigger."

"Yes, but good things come in small pwackages…Hands up, ma'am." He raised pistol.

"You would never shoots me in here. Everyone would know…" she stared.

"Oh, this is your gun. Didn't you recwognize it? It's wregistered to you here. God bless your Prwesident Putinsky's connections to the NWRA. I'm afrwaid I borrowed it without your permisswion, sorry. But we weren't supposed to have guns hewre anyway. Our host don't like 'em."

"I shoots self with my own gun? Don't be crwazy." She eyed him

"Oh, no…You thrweatened me if I didn't give you the dwark matter data and sabotage the wreader so Pwroton couldn't twrack the ship. Lucky I managed to get to the gun or you'd've either shot or beaten me up, you being such a big Wrussian giwrl." He noted, coolly. "Pity I can't let us fight it out, would have been kinky. But sowrry, Doc…There's no wroom in this opewration for double agents, even they'wre opposing their countwry's dictator."

"I'm only deceiving Pwrofessor Pwroton…Our deal is still on." She insisted, desperately.

"Your prwesident's deal, sure. But you have your own agenda. Which if noble and self-sacwrificing, you have my heawrtfelt apologies for having to kill you, but if so you should wrespect that I couldn't take a chance on that. Besides, I can't let you tell Pwroton and Amy the twruth about what's waiting for them and Swift. Swift, at least is far too clevwer and has too many neat toys, even if he doesn't like guns."

"And this…All for money…Power? To exploit this incwredible discovewry?" she eyed him.

"Tough talk from Prwesident Putinsky's giwrlfwriend. But…" he shrugged. "Lets say you wreally do care and you'wre putting a spoke in his plans for the cawrgo, for the sake of Science. I'll always wremember you with wrespect."

"If I am…As you say…You'd be a fool to harm me." Stern regard. "Bwarry, I could get you all wriches you desire, from Putinsky. Bwarry…We could work togethers. I have no loyalty to Professor Pwroton, is the ship and cargo I cares about." Attempt at seductive smile.

("Jesus, Mary, and Joseph…" Bernadette looked over at Leonard, eagerly watching. "I think he's really enjoying killing her off." she hissed to Howard. "Hallmark of a great screenwriter dear…And we killed you off twice in 'Sheldonopolis'…" "True enough, finish her."

"He's not really going to hurt Penny is he?" Sheldon stared. "Lets go get a beverage, Sheldon. You like beverages." Amy, gently.)

"Sowrry, babe. Contwrary to public opinion of the asinine Bwarry Wickcliffe, I'm doing this for pwrinciple. That cawrgo will change the whole debate on climate and the enviwronment. And it will be the gwreatest ecotewrror weapon ever conceived, though sis may have to be pewrsuaded thewre."

"Give me that gun!" she grabbed but fell back as he pointed straight at her heart.

"We stwruggled after you twried to get me to cowoperate but I got very lucky and got to youwr dwropped gun first. Now…Step back, doctowr, I don't wish to shoot you in that pwretty face but I will if I must."

She stepped back…Looking for any possible escape while tensing for a fight.

"I know you'wre good at mawrtial awrts and such, so wreally, you might have a chance…If you are vewry good. Go ahead, Doctor…Come fowr me. If you wreally are good, you may even suwrpwrise…" he fired as she suddenly charged at him and she fell.

"Me…" he eyed her body on the floor.

("Was that a shot?" Sheldon, to Amy at the soda machine in an adjoining room off set.

"What? Oh, I think Howard's just testing a prop…"

Scratch one bestie's character's further flirtations with Professor Proton, she thought, a bit troubled at the dark thought.

Well, not as if I'd ever want Penny dead…Really.)