"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"
Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?
Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?
[For those curious about the Tom Swift adventures, of course much of this is taken from "Tom Swift and His Diving Seacopter", one of the best books in the series which got me into science long, long, long ago.]
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
[Special note. Sorry for the delays on this and several others in progress but too many ideas at once and too much going on in real life these days. But, will see if we can move her along…]
Part XVIII…
("Are we finally all good yet?" Howard, grim tone as he glanced round. "Everyone over their various angst? Lesley? Barry made it clear he doesn't take offense at being the callous murderer…"
"For a principle." She noted, sternly.
Barry, faint smile…
"But yeah, sure."
"Amy?" he turned to her. "Penny's not angry at you for being a little upset, it added to the comic sexual tension there…And you don't have to feel guilty about relishing her brutal murder…Ok?"
We were supposed to feed her to the fishes, namely sharks…Amy, grousing a bit inwardly. "Yes, certainly. Thanks, bestie." Curt nod.
She didn't have to relish quite so much or so obviously…Penny thought, nodding back.
But I get to kill her next film so…Fine…
I think clubbing her to death with a shoe would be karmatic…Er, dramatic… "Say, honey…"
Oh…She eyed Leonard's stricken face…
Oh, baby…No…
Shit, I knew this would happen…
"I didn't want you dead…I don't ever want you dead, Penny…" he sighed.
"Leonard, baby…" she put arm round. "We discussed this. I wanted a good death scene and you gave me one. It made logical sense and fit the situation, right? Nice job. Sure better than me trying to go up Trwump Tower in an elevator instead of climbing it, in 'Serial Apeist III', and getting sprayed off the radio tower by a fire hose, right?"
Cheap bastards…Spent their budget on Wil Wheaton's salary and trailer and cut the planes and my death scene ala 'King Kong'.
Well, not sayin' I'm sold on it but if we do this "Serially Apeist" comedy spoof, I'm dying well.
"You killed me just right. Good job, honey." She kissed him.
"Really? Penova seemed nice and was plotting against the bad guys…" he eyed her.
"Well, sometimes good guys buy it. Rob Stark, the 'Red Wedding'?"
"That was horrible…" he stared. "I shouldn't have done this…"
"Honey. I asked you to." She noted. "Don't feel guilty. Just kill Amy dead in our next one." Beam.
"I'll settle for killing Bwarry in this." He fumed.
"Sheldon?" Howard had moved on in his review. "You get this was only acting…Penny's fine…Bwarry…Barry just had to establish his truly evil nature and his more noble motives in this."
"Eco-terrorism and deals with Russian dictators are noble?" Sheldon asked, staring.
"He's trying to save the world, Cooper!" Lesley, insistent.
"People!" Howard fumed. "If we are ever gonna get this done, we need that ole 'Sheldonopolis' spirit. The spirit that carried us through all those god-awful short Proton videos…"
God awful? Penny, Leonard. I filmed and produced those…I wrote those…Respectively.
"Our director is speaking! Listen up! And get your butts in gear for the next scene!" Bernadette cried.
Who did make him director, Penny hissed to Leonard. "Bernadette, of course. She told James Earl Jones he was and if James Earl Jones calls Howard, 'Mr. Director…'" Leonard noted.
Yeah, true enough, she agreed.
"Cameragirl!" Bernadette cried.
"Ready!" Penny called.
Wait, why is she giving me orders?)
…
"Look." Munson Wyckcliffe eyed the group about her, seated. Barry in seat nearest her as she stood…
"I know what you all think of my brother. But he's not a murderer. Dr. Hofstadter must have been acting for her government, she meant to kill him."
"Maybe…" Swift eyed her. "And maybe he simply murdered her to keep her quiet."
"About what?" Munson frowned. "Something she found out about you? Or from Neutron?"
"The bottom line is, lady…" Bud Barclay cut in. "We have a dead woman and your brother admits to killing her."
"In self-defense!" she insisted. "Bwarry? Tell them…"
"It's pointwess, sis." He shrugged. "They've alwready condemned me."
"I'm not saying we can't accept your story, Wyckcliffe…But…" Swift eyed him.
"Guess I shoulda let our Wrussian kill me…" Bwarry nodded.
"She tried to get you to sabotage the detector? To keep us from tracking the ship?" Proton asked.
"That's wright." Nod. "I am after all one of the two people abwroad who could…"
"Why not just threaten Proton?" Swift noted. "He's the inventor."
"I suppose she felt Pwroton would be less likely to wresponse to thwreats or at least he'd be hawrder to convince." Shrug. "Unless she did appwroach you, Pwroton?" he eyed Proton.
"Actually she did, both of us." Amy noted. "She wanted us to consider suppressing the tracking data…Said the cargo and ship should not be in Swift hands alone." Eyeing Swift.
"Really…?" Swift returned stare.
Really? Proton stared.
Oh…Right, we're supposed to be considering Wyckcliffe, female's offer. Clever, Dr. A…Clever. Quick smile at Amy.
"There you go…" Munson noted, firmly. "She was trying all of them and she got physical with Bwarry first, he being alone…And suspected by all of you anyway."
(Really, Leonard? Penny eyed him from the camera. "Got Physical"?)
"And how did you respond to that, Proton?" Swift asked.
"Uh…Well, obviously we said no." Proton, eyeing Amy for support.
"But you didn't feel it important enough to come to me about it?"
"There wasn't time…" Amy cut in. "She was killed right after she left us. We intended to tell you."
"Dr. Wickcliffe?" Swift turned to her.
"She didn't come to me, if that's what you're asking…" Munson frowned. "Though I'm sure you've decided Bwarry's lying and we're not to be trusted."
"I didn't say that. This isn't an inquisition. I want your honest take on things too. But why do you think she didn't contact you?" Swift asked.
"I would've said no. And she knew it." Wyckcliffe, calmly. "I don't want that ship in Russian hands or any other single nation's. It belongs to the world. But if you're serious, I don't think Proton would agree either. And Bwarry didn't."
"Fair enough." Swift nodded. "All right. If Dr. Wyckcliffe, male, will accept confinement to quarters for the duration of the trip to the landing site, we'll leave it there for now. Are we agreed?"
"I want my chance to see the ship and contents, Swift." Bwarry insisted. "You can keep me locked up under guawrd but…"
"Agreed…So long as you stay put and follow orders." Swift nodded. "I'll report the doctor's murder to the UN and the Russians and we'll see what they want to do. I think it's best we restrict access to the ship for the rest of the night except for one monitor. If you agree, for fairness as well as security, we'll all be secured in our staterooms. Bud will be on monitor shift till four, then I'll take over and we'll meet at eight for breakfast in the galley. For now, lets all the rest of us get to bed, we've a busy day tomorrow. Does that work for you, Dr. Wyckcliffe?" he eyed Munson who shrugged.
"I suppose. If it applies to all of us. You are the Captain, after all."
"And this is murder…" Swift noted calmly.
"We should do something about the body…" Amy urged. "Maybe say…Toss her overboard into the shark-infested waters of the mid Atlantic?"
(No…I didn't write that…Leonard noted to Penny's frown.
Amy…She glared.
Hey, it's only logical. We wouldn't want your rotting corpse stinking up the ship, Amy eyed her.)
…
"Proton?" the voice from the phone Proton had just activated to respond to its buzz clearly Dr. Amy's.
"Amy?"
"Good you haven't got to sleep yet."
(I thought we were in a relationship…We were together before…Amy frowned. This is needless prudery, putting us in separate cabins. And noted to Howard who sighed.
"That was early on, now it's night and we're all suspects, sorta."
"Just seems unnecessary to separate me and Proton…" she frowned.
"But it allows for a telephone scene, Amy." Penny had anticipated Amy's upset and come over. "Those are some of the most romantic scenes in movies." Nodding.
"Really?" eyeing her.
She makes a good point, really…As well as a good corpse.
"Trust me…" solemn nod.
Thanks…Howard mouthed.
"Gettin' in good with the director, I see…" Leonard archly as she returned.
"All part of the game, sweetie." She patted him. "Now about my scenes in the next film, the one where we kill Amy? I have some neat ideas…"
"Ok but…I may not be the screenwriter next time…Raj was askin'…" he began.
"Raj?" she blinked. "Oh, no…No…You're the screenwriter…Or the star here walks."
"Oh…?" he beamed. "So...I got pull, huh? Even…Unfair…Pull?" smile.
"Sleepin' with the star has advantages, babe." She nodded, beaming to his grin. Both eyeing a clueless Raj…)
"No, I haven't…And it's going to ruin my bathroom schedule tomorrow…Or today, now." He eyed the clock on phone. 12:05 am.
"This is important, Proton." She noted. "We need to coordinate a strategy now that we're forced to stay in separate cabins."
"We were 'forced'?" he stared at phone. "I thought I'd made it clear that…"
"Proton." Grim tone.
"Fine. So…? Wait, are we…Plotting? Like conspirators…?"
"Yeah, sorta…" eager tone. "Exciting isn't it?"
"No. Conspirators are scruffy types who want to bring in Nazi or Russian troops. I don't want to bring in Nazi or Russian troops."
"Proton. This is good conspiring. To save Humanity." Amy noted.
"I'd bet Kripke said that to Dr. Hofstadter before he shot her." Proton noted, sternly.
"That's a bit harsh, Proton." Amy, hurt.
"Well…I don't like being conspiratorial. Why is everyone trying to get me conspiratorial?"
"This is to save lives and maybe avenge Dr. Hofstadter, Proton. If Kripke and his sister are ruthless killers, we need to stop them. And keep them from getting that cargo."
"I guess…Though isn't that really Swift's job?"
"Proton? Are you afraid?"
"I'm just saying…It's his expedition. His security breach…His murdered guest."
"Proton, she was asking for our help before she was killed. We have a duty to her and the world."
"I suppose…" he sighed. "But Swift and his best buddy Bud seem to have things well in hand."
"Tom asked for our help too." She noted. "Proton?"
"Oh, very well…But I'm not afraid…Of being shot and dumped into the ocean. It just seemed impolite not to let Tom arrange things."
"We'll work with him…But we should do our own share of the heroics." She noted. "You're the adopted son of Professor Arthur Proton, Sr., it's your duty."
"Always back to that…Oh, very well…Duty calls. Now what?"
"And we do have to consider…" She hesitated, eyeing her phone in her cabin.
"What? Being shot? How many times we could be shot?"
"No…I mean, what Munson Wyckcliffe said back in the galley before Dr. Hofstadter was killed."
"What? You mean that Tom might not be on the up and up here?"
"Well…" Amy's voice uncertain. "I want to believe him but she does have a point. He will have control of the ship and its contents."
"And Munson's brother has a point too, at the end of a gun."
"It's not impossible Bwarry was telling the truth. Dr. Hofstadter could have been an agent, trying to deceive us. Even working with your new best buddy, Tom Swift."
"Tom's not my best buddy…" annoyed tone. "You're my best buddy…I just think…Amy? Amy? What's that gasping sound…? Is your phone working?"
"What? Oh, yeah…It's fine…" vague tone. "Proton? I'm your best buddy?" eager tone.
"Of course…Not to mention the stuff we shouldn't on a childrens' video."
"Some adults will see it…"
("Cut! Guys!" Howard sighed.)
)
