"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"
Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?
Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?
[For those curious about the Tom Swift adventures, of course much of this is taken from "Tom Swift and His Diving Seacopter", one of the best books in the series which got me into science long, long, long ago.]
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
Part XXV…
"Все остановки…" (All stop…) the command rang out in the long control room. Slight shudder throughout the large craft.
"Выпуск буя…" (Release buoy…) Commander Putinsky ordered as she stood in her command post in the Lermontov, peering through the raised periscope in front of her.
"I've released our communications buoy." She noted to Munson Wyckcliffe, now in heavy sweater and jeans, standing at a radar control console, who nodded.
"A buoy? How prwimitive. What, you can't let us allies see your more advanced underwater communication systems?" Bwarry grinned over from his temporary post at a computer console where he'd been reviewing the last uploaded Russian, including by default, UN, data on the alien ship, containing as he had sarcastically noted, little more than vague guesses on top of data passed on from Swift's megascope space prober and Proton's detector…Might have done better staying on board Swift's ship. "Are you using Extremely Low Frequency, quantum pulse, or what, now?"
"I wouldn't let my mother see our more advanced systems, Doctor." Commander Putinsky eyed him coolly. "But in fact, the transmissions from our buoy are more easily shielded…" as a video screen to the side near her station lit up and an image appeared.
"And the President wished to do you the courtesy of speaking directly…" she noted as the face resolved into the icily pleasant features of President Putinsky, seated at desk in dark, elegant suit, sardonically eyeing the group.
"Drs. Wyckcliffe…My friends." Putinsky's face bearing a wide smile.
"So glad to see your rendezvous with the Lermontov went well. You escaped dear Swift without incident, I trust?"
"Just a minowr one…" Bwarry noted with equally wide smile.
"Dr. Hofstadter is dead." Commander Putinsky, grimly. Munson, somewhat haunted expression…
"Crweul necessity." Bwarry grinned.
"Bwarry…" Munson, shaking head. "It was unavoidable…" she noted to Putinsky's image on screen.
"Yes, most unfortunate. But the good doctor was a traitor to her country." Putinsky, icily calm. "I'm aware of her reservations about securing the cargo and her reaching out to Swift and Proton. Believe me, much as one must regret the loss of such a brilliant and beautiful woman…Your brother merely spared me an unhappy task, Dr. Wyckcliffe." Cold smile.
"She was not a traitor, Comrade President." The Commander, grimly. (Some of that "grimness" rooted in the annoyance of anyone thinking Barry Kripke could kill me…Please, Penny thought.) "She simply…"
"She knew her duty. She failed me and Russia." Putinsky, coldly. "If anyone chooses the same course, dear Sara, they must and will pay the same price. As your dear uncle let me warn you…Best to hand over your command now if you should happen to feel you cannot fulfill your duty…"
"I always fulfill my duty, sir. I'm a loyal officer…And my past career should prove my devotion, Comrade President." Commander Putinsky, equally cold voice.
("She seems really kinda angry…Is she still pissed at me?" Wil Wheaton at desk peered over at the grim Penny in uniform. "And did you really manage to…?" glancing at Leonard, slight smirk.
"Yeah…And yeah... And I know how hot she looks in that uniform, so don't even think about it, Wheaton." Leonard, sternly.
Geesh…The things I do for lunch and to meet Darth Vader, Wil sighed to himself.
Still, long as James'll tell me on tape that I've failed him for the last time, Admiral…Beam. Not even Patrick ordering me off the bridge compares…)
"Then we have nothing to quibble over, Commander. Forgive me but as you know this mission is probably the single most important any Russian officer has ever had entrusted to him or her. I have no doubt of your loyalty, ex-Governor Pulin." Smile.
Munson eyeing the Commander cautiously…Bwarry seeming to enjoy the scene. Various senior officers, officers, and crew about the control room looking rather perturbed or concerned.
"Thank you, sir." Commander Putinsky, coldly.
"But my friends, you are both sure you're well?" Putinsky asked, hands touching in pyramid style on desk.
("See that's a power look. Patrick always used to do this…" Wheaton explained to Leonard.
Oh, please…Penny frowned.)
"Fine, Vlad." Bwarry smiled. "Yes, we're fine." Munson, coolly.
"Excellent. Then perhaps you can give me a report on the situation at present?"
"You know Swift is coming and knows the general location of the landing site…We couldn't block that part of the transmission." Bwarry shrugged. "And he is able to move faster, thanks to his cute little flying sub. But with any luck we can keep the specifics of the site from him until the ship is in our hands."
"Very good." Icy smile from Putinsky. "However, if he and Proton are troublesome, we can arrange additional support for you."
"Would that be wise?" Munson cut in. "The UN is monitoring your activities. You send in more ships or planes…It could be war."
"Doctor…" Putinsky, offhand wave, smooth tone. "I would never violate our nation's agreements with the UN…Officially. But who's to say what unknown powers might have vessels or aircraft in the area…Unmarked, unknown. And that region is rather isolated…Who knows what manner of pirates and other such may lurk. Tragedies..." toothy smirk… "Can occur without warning in such climes and situations."
"It would be unwise to send in additional craft unless absolutely needed." The Commander noted calmly. "We should be able to handle Mr. Swift and Professor Proton ourselves...Mr. President."
"I trust you will." Putinsky nodded. "Simply bear in mind that help of various kinds is at hand, at all times. And that no failure will be tolerated in this endeavor." Grim tone, hard stare. "The fate of our nation is in the balance. Whoever acquires this ship and its cargo will hold the world in their hands."
("He's overacting…" Penny, to Leonard. "It's 'Serial Apeist III' all over again.")
"For the good of all, naturally, Doctor…" he eyed Munson's stricken face. "The West has no right to seize upon all this and hold the rest of the world hostage, as you have so eloquently stated. With your help, we shall see that the world will share in all the benefits to be gained while protected from the potential dangers."
"We've no doubt of that, Vladimiwr." Bwarry smiled. Putinsky nodding.
"We should end communication and be on our way, Comrade President." Commander Putinsky noted. "Time is after all, of the essence."
"Indeed. Proceed with my blessing and all the hopes of our nation. I shall be waiting to hear more when you reach the site. My friends? Хороший день."
"Good day to you too, buddy." Bwarry nodded with smile. Putinsky's image winking out.
"Уберите буй и немедленно отправляйтесь в путь!" (Retract buoy and get underway immediately!" the Commander ordered.
("Well?" Penny grinned at Leonard. "Very nice mit der Russian, commander." He bowed, with smile.
"Only took two agonizing days of lessons…" Howard groused to Bernadette who eyed him grimly.
"What?" honestly stunned.
"Пять лет русского языка в средней школе и колледже здесь, знаете ли." She frowned. "And what, I'm not stern enough to play a Russian submarine commander?"
"Bernie…"
"Leonard's sure doing all he can to give his wife top billing here. My loving husband might consider advancing his wife's career." Grim stare.
"What? Now you wanna be an actress?"
"Of course not…" she frowned. "I wanna know you'd do anything to make me happy."
"You mean that I'm as scared of you as Leonard is of Penny…" arch look.
"Same thing." Shrug.
"Now baby, you know I'm scared to death of you…." Howard insisted. "But, we did promise to help Penny get in some acting practice. Now, I promise to show my abject terror of you in substantial terms, soon."
"Meaning I get to be complex? Or Evil?" shrewd look.
"Whatever milady prefers…Both if you like."
"Well, don't make Tom's sis evil…That's anticanon and I couldn't do that to you." Fond smile. "Just create a totally new bitch and let me roar."
"Madame…" bow.
"Dude…" the listening Raj hisses to him as a content Bernadette moves off to woman the videocamera. "We're top-heavy with new characters already, how'll you gonna work this? And assuming you do, when do I get a complex character?"
"When you learn to act, General." Frown at Raj in his uniform as "General Smith". "Are you wearing that offset to impress Lucy? Your allowance better be restored to cover buying it, ya know."
"Hey…For affairs de coeur, under 2000 bucks, Dad makes an exception." Beam.
"So eh…What's the story with the other chick playing the villainess?" Wheaton, nudging Leonard, smile Lesleyward to her returned frown.)
…
"So the vessel has definitely slowed by three-quarters of the last speed you recorded, my son." Dr. Swift, on the Arturo section's control room video screen, noted. His seated image flanked by other officials from the US and various other governments all sternly regarding their view of Swift Jr, Proton, Bud Barclay, Bernadette Rostenkowski-Swift, and Dr. Amy in their seats.
"Which I recorded…Via my detector." Proton noted, a bit miffed before Swift Jr. could answer. Dr. Amy, despite her on-going annoyance at the establishment of an apparent males'-only club on the ship, nodding vigorously in support.
"That's true, it was Professor Proton's detector that's been tracking the alien ship." She insisted.
"In...Deed?" Dr. Swift's stern gaze now focusing on her.
"It's true, Dad. Proton's detector's been invaluable in tracking the ship." Tom cut in. "Dark matter is definitely involved in the power system."
"I…See. Well, Professor." Dr. Swift eyed Proton. "Well done. I'm glad your expertise in dark matter matches your ability in entertaining children."
"You betcha." Dr. Amy, firmly.
Hmmn…Swift eyed her again. "And as always, the good Dr. Amy at your side. You are fortunate, Proton, to have such support at hand. I know well what it is to lose such." Slight, incredibly deep, sigh.
(Jesus, just listen to those tones…Wil hissed to Penny as they watched. "He makes Patrick sound soprano.")
"Cherish it while you can." Somber tone.
Aw, Dad…Bernadette sighed. Gotta remember to do something special this Mother's Day when we go to the gravesite…Assuming we and the world survive.
"Bernadette." Swift eyed her. "My dearest daughter. I trust you're well and your brother and Mr. Barclay are taking excellent care of you."
(Wow…Bernadette blinked. Dad, I love you but…C'mon, this is James Earl Jones. Wow.)
"They are, Dad. I'm fine." Beam. "Don't you work too hard while I'm away. And…take…your…pills." Stern look.
"I will, my girl." Fond beam. "Thomas?"
"Dad?" Tom involuntarily stood up.
"The death of Dr. Hofstadter and the escape of the Wyckcliffes is clear evidence of the seriousness of the situation. But know that I have an absolute faith in you, my son. As do our friends here…" expansive move of hands to include the room. "We'll be in contact. Swift Enterprises, out." The screen went blank.
("The little girl's good." Leontine nod of head to Howard as Howard called for "Cut" to change scene.
"Yes, I recorded it…Darth Vader saying you're good…Would I miss that?" he texted on phone to Bernadette's hasty pocket text.
Penny and Wheaton staring…
Bernadette's…Good? And Stuart is Luke Skywalker Swift?
Stuart for his part looking nervously pleased…
Darth Vader has absolute confidence in me.)
