A Little Lower Than the Angels
Chapter 2
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters; I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.
Spoilers: Any JAG episodes through out Season 8 are fair game. For now, we are joining our DD just prior to 'Ice Queen.'
Many, many thanks to all of you who constructively reviewed this story. I've said it before but it bears repeating, this is a great community.
1501
Friday
April 15, 2003
Site of the National WWII Memorial
Washington DC
Harm and Mr. Graham were walking along the outer perimeter of the memorial on the east end of the Reflecting Pool, in full view of the Lincoln Memorial. It was a cloudless sunny day, with just enough of a breeze to require an overcoat. The Cherry Blossom Festival was over, but there still enough of the beautiful trees blooming to make the setting beautiful, even if the area were they stood was still under construction.
"This has been a long time coming." Mr. Graham straightened, his hand clasped behind him.
"Yes sir, it has."
The older man gave Harm an inquisitive look, trying to guess his age and asked, "Did your grandfather serve during the war?" 'The war' for Mr. Graham would only and always be World War II.
"Yes, sir, my grandfather, he was killed in 1942, he flew F4F's off of the Hornet."
"I'm sorry to hear that. So many died, I don't think you can imagine just how many, I hope you never have to."
Harm nodded and continued to listen to the older man.
"I hope I live to see its completion." Mr. Graham seemed to be talking to himself, as he looked out over the memorial grounds.
"Are you ill sir?"
"No… but I'm 86 years old. You never know." Mr. Graham glanced in his direction.
Harm grinned, "I suppose not."
Mr. Graham turned toward him and seemed to study him and then he spoke, "You didn't really think she should get the Navy Cross, did you Commander?"
He had to be honest, "No sir."
"And now?"
"I can't say sir, I haven't completed my interviews, and I'm sure you know, I'm really not at liberty to say."
"Yes, I know, but I'd like your opinion of what you've learned from us, so far."
Harm considered the older man's request. "I'll only say this, if I had only gone by the information we had before the Colonel and I spoke with you, my opinion would have been much different than it is now."
Mr. Graham seemed satisfied with his answer as he looked out over the site. He began to walk, and Harm walked along with him. The older man stood nearly as tall his he, with steps that were equally sure. Neither man spoke for a long moment and as they passed one of the corner stones, they paused to read the newly finished inscription.
'Women who stepped up were measured as citizens of the Nation, not as women. This was a people's war, and everyone was in it.'
They both stood silently for a moment and then Mr. Graham asked, "You're wondering why I'm so insistent about this, aren't you?"
Harm was slightly surprised at his perception, and he good-naturedly chided him "I thought I was the one who was supposed to ask the questions."
Mr. Graham smiled and turning away, began to walk around the memorial's perimeter toward the place where his wife and Mac were seated. "I'm not convinced that you believe us. I think you're looking for a motive; you wouldn't be much of an investigator if you didn't."
"I knew Beverly Trombatore for 9 days, what I know of her heroism has nothing to do with me, though the first day, she literally saved my life. I was wounded at Iwo Jima, they thought I had a pretty bad head injury and I was taken aboard the Goodwill, to be treated. I wasn't responding, my pulse was so weak, they couldn't feel it. She hesitated, when Commander Rayburn, the ships commanding officer and doctor, insisted that I was dead. Her hesitation gave me just enough time to get the strength to keep them from pulling the cover over my face."
Mr. Graham continued, "Hers was the voice I could hear drawing me back, and made me want to know who was speaking to me. From the time I opened my eyes, I knew she would not only take care of me, but that she was my friend too.
You see nurses really weren't supposed to talk to the men about their wounded comrades, not even to their commanding officers. They weren't even allowed to tell the patients anything specific about their own conditions, but Beverly trusted me and I trusted her…it was like, we already knew each other." The older man seemed to be speaking to himself again, as Harm listened and walked along in silence.
At the other side of the memorial…..
Mac sat with Mrs. Graham, on a bench at the other side of the site.
"Beverly was a wonderful girl, she was kind and patient, but she was strong too. She was my best friend" Mrs. Graham laughed, "The voice of reason, when our head nurse was driving me crazy, if it hadn't been for Beverly, I probably would have been taken to mast for insubordination. She made me want to be a better person."
"You met your husband aboard the Goodwill?"
"Yes, I met Ron then, but he wasn't my husband or even my boyfriend," The older woman paused for a moment. "Back then, and for some time after he left the Goodwill, he was Beverly's"
"And his pursuit of this doesn't bother you?"
"No, of course not, I loved Beverly. It may sound funny to say, but I don't think I would have fallen in love with Ron if I hadn't known her."
Mac looked at the woman curiously.
"How can I explain this? I liked Ron when I met him, he was handsome and there was no doubt he was brave, but the part of him that stole my heart is the way he loved and honored Beverly, even after she died. He had this tough exterior, he was a no - nonsense Marine, but he led with his heart. I knew that the first time I saw him talking with Corporal Tanner, one of his men who had been injured, the same day he was. He was so kind to him, the way men are kind, you know? He always spoke to him as if everything would be alright, wouldn't allow him to give up hope; he's say, 'Hey, buddy you'll be alright, just you wait and see…" Mrs. Graham's voice broke when she remembered Jimmy Tanner and the sweetness that shone through his badly burned and swollen face; he haunted her dreams for years after the war.
Mac placed her hand on Mrs. Grahams arm, to comfort her, but she was thinking of a certain Sailor that she knew that led with his heart, and though he would always deny it, she knew it was no less true. She remembered his loyalty to Diane, the way he obviously felt about her, long after she had died, without being aware of it at the time he had drawn her in. He was like Mr. Graham in that, he was handsome, brave and he, more often than not, led with his heart. It was one of the things about him that both exasperated her and endeared him to her, at the same time.
Mrs. Graham became quiet for a few moments and then whispered, 'each of us angels.'
Mac had been unable to hear her, 'ma'am?"
"It was a part of a poem that Beverly used to quote all the time."
We are each of angels with one wing
And we can only fly
By embracing each other."
At that moment, Mr. Graham was repeating the quote to Harm, remembering the last moments he had with Beverly. "That was what she said to me."
"I had taken the loss of one of my men, especially hard; his name was Corporal Jimmy Tanner. He was from my home town, the younger brother of one of my best friends, growing up. Beverly and I were becoming close, but after Jimmy died, I decided that I couldn't allow myself to trust anyone. I told her that if I let her in and started caring about her, that I'd let her down, just like I did Jimmy and his family. I foolishly thought I was not only protecting myself, but Beverly too."
"If I had only known how little time we had, someone with her….heart... should have lived to be 100. After I left the Goodwill, I didn't know why I lived and they died. I only know I owed it to Beverly to live a long and happy life and to remember her well."
Mr. Graham looked at Harm now, "I don't want you to misunderstand me, I'm not pining for some lost love, though the young man I was back then, standing on the deck of the Goodwill, did love her, though he never said the words. It's just that after visiting her grave when we visited in February, it struck me that she had been forgotten; all that was left of her short life was a lonely grave in Arlington."
His words began to strike a chord for Harm as he waited for him to continue.
"It occurred to me again that I and so many others are alive because of her as and not only that, she made me remember, never to take a moment of my life for granted. If she had been a man, she would have received a silver star for her actions that day. She went to that ward without hesitation, she loved her life, but she risked it, not because she was trying to be a hero, but because it was her nature to reach out, no matter what it cost her."
He kept his gaze directly on Harm, "Do you understand Commander?"
Harm was still contemplating what the older man was saying, what he had been doing for months had finally come home to him. He was struggling with a secret, a situation he thought he could handle himself, and in keeping it from his best friend; he was not only hurting himself, but Mac too. Another brave and strong woman, who had risked her life for him, more than once. After a long moment, he answered the older man. "Yes sir, I think I do."
They continued walking around the perimeter of the unfinished memorial until they met Mac and Mrs. Graham. Finished with their interview, they took the Grahams back to their granddaughter. They kept their conversation light on the drive back to Bethesda, though the Grahams had both given them a lot to think about.
1635
Capital Beltway
Washington DC
Harm and Mac were quiet on their trip back to JAG and their own vehicles. As they pulled into the parking lot at Headquarters, they both spoke at once.
"Harm" "Mac"
They laughed nervously and Harm began, "Mac, I…need to talk to you about something, something that I…" He shook his head. "Why is this so hard? We've been friends for over 7 years." He was looking out the front windshield, not making eye contact at all. Suddenly he felt guilty for shutting her out of this for so long.
Mac gave him her half smile, "Maybe we've just gotten out of the habit, of confiding in each other." They had both been guilty of that. She looked at him now, thinking that he looked so uncomfortable, almost guilty, and then the question occurred to her, was he seeing someone. Was that why he was being so distant?
"Is this when you tell me that you're seeing someone? You're not going out with another video princess are you?"
Harm snapped his head around and looked at her sharply, "No!"
"Okay…" Mac chuckled and lifted both hands in surrender.
"Sorry…no, it's just… complicated."
Harm sat in silence for a few moments, he needed to talk with her but it couldn't be here.
"Why don't you let me make you dinner tonight? It's not late; we've got plenty of time. We can go over what we have for the case so far and our questions for tomorrow."
Mac smiled and accepted.
"Hey, what were you going to say earlier, anyway?" Harm asked as he opened the car door.
Mac had gotten out as well and as she looked over the top of the car, she answered, "I wanted you to tell me what's been going on…why you've been so distant, lately."
Harm grinned mischievously, "What do you know Mackenzie, it finally looks like were on the same page." He turned to walk toward his Lexus, "1830, okay?"
"I'll be there."
1915
Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
Harm and Mac sat at his dining room table, finishing what was an excellent meal, fusilli with shrimp, tomatoes and arugula.
"That was great." Mac never thought she'd say that about anything that had arugula as an ingredient.
"Thank you." He pushed his chair back and picked up their plates.
"So…Harm, are we going to talk about what's going on with you?"
Harm stood in the kitchen, rinsing the plates, fidgeting, Mac thought.
She stood and walked over to him, standing close enough so that if Harm turned toward her, he would be looking at her, directly into her eyes. "Harm…talk to me."
He turned the spigot on the sink of with more force than was required and said, "I know what you're going to say…"
She was quiet for a moment and then asked,
"Okay….am I right about what you think I'm going to say?" Mac arched a brow, trying to tease him a bit and lighten the mood, he was troubled, she couldn't deny that.
Harm remained silent and she waited a beat.
"Harm, I want to help, I don't understand why you don't trust me."
"It's not that, I just don't want to involve you in something…" He walked away from her and into the living room. "I'm not even one hundred percent sure about it, it's just something, I don't know, I can't let it go."
Mac knew without a doubt now, in one way or another, it had to involve his father. It seemed that all roads led there for him. "Harm, is this about your father?"
Harm turned to look at her, his eyes reflecting the love and pain that Mac knew was always under the surface when he spoke of his father.
"It is, in a way, it's about Sergei." He turned away from her again, facing the living room.
"I thought you and he were getting along better, didn't he ask you to be his best man in his wedding?"
Harm nodded, and then he did something that surprised and totally disconcerted her. He held out his hand and asked. "Come on, come sit with me, it's a long story."
Mac tried to hide her surprise and took the few steps across the room and gave him her hand. He sat down and pulled her down to sit next to him. He didn't pull her intimately close, but he held onto her hand. He looked down at her hand, instead of at her as he spoke, it made talking easier, he thought.
"Do you remember last fall, when we went to the Seahawk about Singer?"
"Yes I do, when I ended up having to stay TAD." Mac swallowed hard when he began to unconsciously rub small circles on the back of her hand, with his thumb.
"Do you remember when you asked about who I thought the father of her baby was?"
"Yes." Oh God, what the hell was he getting at? "And you didn't think you should share that information with me?"
"I found out that Sergei saw her just before she left for the Seahawk." He looked at her for moment, trying to gage her reaction.
"And you think Sergei is the father? That's why you've been distant?" Mac couldn't help but feel relief, even the slightest thought of Harm and ….Singer, how ever unlikely… It boggled the mind.
"Mac, I knew as soon as I told you, you'd just think it was another of my obsessions. It may be, I don't know, but if there is the slightest possibility I can't…I won't allow another Rabb to grow up not knowing who his father is. I thought if I kept track of where she was, if I didn't put too much pressure on her that she would eventually tell me…something. I guess I thought bringing you into it, might do that." He looked at her, the torment he had buried inside, apparent now.
"Harm…." She closed her fingers around his hand. "Have you spoken to Sergei?"
There was patience in her voice and in her eyes, and something more, there was always something more with Mac. God, he had missed this.
"Yes. He doesn't think the baby is his, and seems to think that Singer wouldn't have a problem with a number of men in her life at the same time. He has every intention of getting on with his life."
Mac smiled without humor, "Well…I have to say, I could agree with that. Have you talked to Singer about this at all?"
"Yeah, you could say we had a conversation." Harm's features darkened. The thought of that conversation still made him angry. "I met her at Benzigers when she came back to extend her leave, where she promptly ordered a beer and said she thought she might take up smoking."
Mac looked away for a moment, shaking her head. Singer was goading him, but why, what could she possibly gain by doing that? It was always hard to know what motivated her, other than blind ambition; this was cruel, even for Singer.
"Has she spoken with Sergei?"
"Yeah, but only because I practically forced her to, so much for not putting too much pressure on her." He regretted that whole incident; it hadn't really given him any peace of mind about it, and it had changed nothing.
Mac thought about what he had said for a long moment, she agreed with Sergei, it was more than likely that the child wasn't his, or Singer would have found a way to work it to her advantage. But, she knew Harm and this was something than ran deep for him, Sergei was his connection to his father, they were of the same blood. Family meant everything to him, something else than endear him to her.
"Harm, if they agree that the child is not his, as much as I know this means to you, you know you can't pursue it."
Harm was quiet for a moment, still holding on to her hand.
Mac put her hand on his arm and leaned in a bit, teasing him "So did I say what you thought I'd say?"
Harm narrowed his eyes, leaned toward her, nudging her a bit. "No, I guess not." He tried to smile, but this was still very painful for him.
"Come on Harm, you have to trust your brother, trust that he made the right decision."
"I know you're right, but I just…I haven't let it go. I don't think I'll be able to until I know for a fact that child isn't a Rabb. She doesn't want it, why won't she just let me have it? I asked her and she wouldn't even consider it."
Mac leaned back from him, she hadn't expected that. Harm raising a baby, alone. "So, you're going to have your baby without me?" She was only half kidding.
"Of course not, we have another year, right?" He grinned sheepishly, embarrassed about what he'd said about adopting Singers baby. "Sounded pretty desperate when I said it out loud, huh?"
"Harm I think your heart is in the right place, but this really is out of your hands now."
Her words brought to mind what Mrs. Graham had said earlier that day, about the tough guy that always led with his heart.
"I know" Harm spoke softly, though in his heart, he rebelled against the thought.
Mac decided it was her turn to surprise him, so she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, "Thanks for telling me about this, I know this isn't easy for you."
Harm startled a bit and then a slow smile spread across his face. "You're welcome" Mac self consciously patted his arm and then began to stand up. He stood with her, her hand still in his.
Mac looked back over at the dining room table, suddenly uncomfortable under his steady gaze. "So…let's finish clearing your table so we can get back to Nurse
EnsignTrombatore."
Mac slipped her hand out of his and swiftly walked to the dining table, starting to clear it.
Harm followed her, grinning from ear to ear.
TBC
A/N: I will try to post every other day or every third at the most, I was going to try to finish this before I posted, but its just not me, I couldn't wait.
A/N: sj asked how ling this one would be, I'm thinking maybe 6 or 7 chapters, but I'm not 100 percent sure, I only have my outline. Thanks again for your interest, everyone.
A/N: The inscription Harm and Mr. Graham read is, in fact, a part of the memorial, I am not sure it was standing as of April, 2003, but for my purposes, in this story, it was. By the way, the quote was Army Colonel Oveta Culp Hobby, speaking about the role of women, during WWII.
A/N The author of the 'each of us angels' quote is by Luciano deCrescenzo.
