When Harry Met Susan
(And Peter and Edmund and Lucy and Mr. Tumnus and so on and so forth, you know the rest…)
Summery: Once in Narnia, Harry and Pansy have to overcome their differences in order to figure out a way to get back home.
Chapter One – The Lamppost
When I opened my eyes I was lying on my back, but above me was not the ceiling of the dungeon or the Hospital Wing as one might expect. Instead there were trees, Spruces and Firs and some Oaks, I think. All around me was something soft and wet. I got up gingerly in case something was broken or dislocated and looked around me. As I suspected from the presence of the trees I was in the middle of a forest. I was lying in snow and everything was rather winter looking around me. A soft moan made me look to my right and I saw Parkinson coming around beside me. Great, why is she here? She lifted her hand to her head and we realized I was still holding her wrist. She shook herself free and looked around before saying in her most venomous voice,
"Oh Potter, where the fuck are we?" I didn't bother to answer her, and the truth was I had no idea myself.
I got to my feet and looked around me; behind us was a lamppost. Right there in the middle of a bloody frozen forest- a lamppost. With burning candles in it like something you'd expect to find in Victorian London or something.
"How odd." I whispered softly to myself when I heard the annoying voice of Parkinson behind me,
"What the hell is that?" I suppressed an urge to smack her and answered icily,
"It's a lamppost, Parkinson."
"I can see that, Potter. Why is there a lamppost in the middle of a bloody forest?" I shrugged. What could I say, really?
A soft rustle to our left caused us both to pipe down, we reached to our wands just to find out they were left on the working bench back in the dungeons in Hogwarts. Damn! The rustling sound was heard again and I realized there was someone walking in the thicket towards the lamppost. Parkinson looked positively terrified and wide eyed, she was rooted to the spot and about to stay like that so I grabbed her arm and made a dive towards the other side, hiding behind a tree.
After a while I saw a little girl wondering towards the lamppost. She looked rather lost herself like she didn't mean to get here in the first place. I wondered how she came to be here and whether it was safe to go and talk to her, well she could be a monster disguising as a little girl for all I knew when we all heard another noise of someone else approaching.
A weird creature passed our hiding place on its way to the lamppost. When he saw the girl they both shrieked in fear and tried to hide. After a while they gingerly peered at each other and then approached one another.
I didn't catch most of their conversation but I did catch the fact that the creature was a fawn and the girl came from a place called "Spare Oom", which puzzled me greatly because it wasn't a place I've ever heard of and the accent of the girl clearly indicated she was English, but then again geography was never one of my strongest points... After a pleasant conversation they both made their way out of the clearing in which the lamppost stood and Parkinson and I stood up as well and made our way back to the lamppost.
"What an odd little girl, didn't her mother teach her not to wonder off with strangers?" she called and rolled her eyes. Then she caught the sight of my face and her expression hardened again "This is all your fault!"
I tried to maintain my calm, to annoy her if nothing else, "How exactly is it my fault?"
"You grabbed my wrist!"
"You shouldn't have added the newt's eye!"
"I hate you, Potter!"
"Yeah, well I'm not too crazy about you either, Parkinson!"
"Fuck off, Potter!"
"Glad to!"
I turned around and started to make my way back into the forest. I heard the sharp intake of breath behind me, and then Parkinson grabbed my arm painfully,
"Where do you think you're going?" I turned to look at her and was very pleased when I saw the fear there. It helped me overcome the fact that I was about to crack myself, but now I had a very good reason to pull myself together.
"Away from you!"
"You can't leave me here, we don't even know where we are!" her voice was cracking at the edge and I smiled sweetly at her,
"I don't care!" she narrowed her eyes at me and I hissed at her in anger "I can't believe I'm stuck here with you! Damn it, why couldn't it have been someone else. Or better yet, why couldn't you get stuck here with someone else?"
"Why don't you do us all a favour and drown yourself in the bloody lake!"
"Bugger off!"
"Screw you!" I caught myself with visible effort. This was obviously isn't helping us getting anywhere. I took a deep breath to calm myself,
"Ok, stop! This isn't going to help us to get back home." She glared at me with malice but said nothing, "First thing is we have to figure out where the hell are we."
"Narnia."
"What?"
"Narnia. Weren't you listening?"
"I was listening, I just didn't hear much." I shot defensively and she smirked at me, "Where the fuck is Narnia?"
"I don't know." She shrugged. Great, this isn't helping at all.
"Maybe we could ask the little girl when she comes back. She sounded rather English and she looked just as lost here, maybe she will know the way back."
"Oh, I wouldn't trust a girl that just takes off with the first stranger she meets… she's a bit dodgy if you ask me." I had to admit the girl wasn't exactly the smarted peach on the tree or the cleverest kneazle in the littler but we didn't have any alternatives at the moment, so we settled to wait for the girl's return. It only occurred to me after about an hour that she might not come back at all, after all she did wonder off with a complete stranger and who knows what could happen to her.
Something that struck me as odd was the weather, the air wasn't particularly cold and that was weird, we were clad only in our school robes and those definitely weren't designed for snow and yet we didn't shiver much. I was wondering whether I should raise this issue with Parkinson when we heard noises.
The little girl and the fawn returned, but they didn't look all happy and relaxed as one might expect people after a spot of afternoon tea. They crept back hurriedly, the fawn was throwing cautious glances about him and the girl looked mostly puzzled. When they reached the lamppost we heard the fawn ask her quietly,
"Are you sure you're going to find your way back from here?" the girl assured him she could and Parkinson and I exchanged glances, the same thought running through both our heads. We would follow the little girl and hopefully she'll lead us out of this weird place.
Our cunning plan was squashed, however, by the stupid and over-protective fawn that wouldn't leave the place until he made sure the girl was safely out of sight. When he finally disappeared we made our way towards the direction the girl left from. Unfortunately there was no sign of her anymore or where she might have gone.
"AHHHHHHHHH! This is so unfair!" cried Parkinson out loud and I clamped my hand over her mouth. Somehow the stealth behaviour of the girl and the fawn seemed catchy and I wasn't about to be caught in the middle of the forest, wandless with a screaming Parkinson.
There was another sound in the trees and we both froze. The seconds ticked slowly and I could feel Parkinson's heart beats against my chest, fast and scared. She was clearly not in the habit of wondering off into the Forbidden Forest as I, unfortunately and rather unintentionally was. Luckily we weren't in open space and therefore not in immediate danger of being discovered.
The little girl burst through the thicket looking rather pleased with herself, wearing a nightgown and a dressing gown. She practically skipped her way in her fluffy slippers in the direction she took only moments ago to what I assumed was the house of the fawn.
Before we could decide whether we should follow her or not there was another rustle and this time a boy stumbled into view. He was a few years older than the girl but shared a striking resemblance to her which led me to believe he might be her brother.
"Lucy, I think I believe you now…" he called out and Parkinson rolled her eyes. I shot her a threatening look not to say anything and she grimaced at me and stuck out her tongue. I cursed Snape and all the Slytherins all the way back to Salazar under my breath.
Before we could pounce on the boy and get the information we needed from him there was a faint sound of bells in the air. All three of us looked around for the source of the noise, a beautiful sleigh pulled just next to the boy causing him to fall over. In the sleigh sat a magnificently impressive woman, she was much taller than any other woman I've ever seen and her face was beautiful but cold and pale. But what struck me most about them were her eyes- they were so black you couldn't see anything in their depth, and more than that- they didn't reflect the light. Her eyes were lifeless and emotionless and reminded me the eyes of Lord Voldemort. I subconsciously reached to rub my scar.
The woman's manners were cold as well, even when she tried to be nice to the boy by offering him the candy of his choice, (Turkish delight? Honestly! No sweets standards whatsoever!) Her manner was eerie. I couldn't understand why the boy didn't just run away at the sight of her but then again this family was rather strange, so I guess that shouldn't surprise me. Right before leaving I could have sworn the woman turned her eyes to look straight at Parkinson and me, causing us to freeze with rigid fear, even though her eyes flicked away from us so fast I wasn't even sure she saw us.
It was only the sound of the two children talking that snapped us back into reality and by the time we were able to follow them it was too late. They were already gone.
Parkinson slumped herself on the ground and wailed,
"This is bloody unfair, we are never going to get back home, we'll be stuck here in the snow forever and ever and it's all your fault!" I rolled my eyes in desperation,
"Not this again."
Before we could continue our bickering there was another rustle in the trees and this time it wasn't just the girl or her brother, this time there were four of them. They seemed to have been in some sort of rush and toppled over each other.
"Boy, those kids sure are fast…" I heard Parkinson whispering by my side but I couldn't answer her because at that moment my eyes fell on the oldest boy and our eyes locked. I felt as if some unseen force was holding me in place and I couldn't move a muscle- just stare at him.
A snowball hit him in the side of the face all of a sudden and the spell was broken as he fell to the ground. Another snowball hit him and this time he retaliated, one was sent straight to his little sister and another straight at me. I gasped in shock before recovering quickly and sending one of my own. He ducked it and the snowball hit the other boy who stood on the side, out of the game.
"Ouch. Stop that." He protested and glared at me with a hurt look and I found myself blushing.
"Who are you?" the little girl was asking cheerfully, completely unafraid of yet two more strangers.
"My name is Harry Potter, and this is Parkinson." I said and locked my eyes with the older boy again.
"Pansy." A sharp elbow connected with my ribs and I winced, "Who are you?"
"I'm Lucy Pevensie and these are my brothers and sister, Susan, Peter and Edmund." With each name its owner nodded briefly, except the younger boy who ignored us altogether.
"What are you doing here?" Peter asked quietly and Parkinson snorted
"I wish we knew, Potter here cocked up the potion we were making and somehow we ended up in this god forsaken place!" now it was my turn to elbow her, I wasn't the one cocking up the bloody potion!
"Shut up Parkinson, it wasn't my fault; it was your stupid newt's eye!"
"Was not! I was following the orders, you potions failure!"
"Potions failure? Is that the best you can come up with, I thought you Slytherin were more cunning than that."
"Shut up, Scarhead!" she screamed,
"Fuck off, bitch!" we glared at each other when a small chuckle was heard and Lucy's voice,
"Hey, Susan they are fighting just like you and Peter…" we quickly turned around remembering all of the sudden we weren't alone. Susan and Peter looked rather embarrassed by our behaviour and I immediately blushed again. No wonder I'm in Gryffindor I'm a living tribute of the house colours.
"So what are we going to do now?" asked Susan trying to overcome the embarrassing silence,
"I think Lucy should decide," Said Peter levelly, "She's the one who discovered that place after all." Lucy smiled broadly and announced excitedly
"I want you all to come and meet Mr. Tumnus."
"Then Mr. Tumnus it is!" declared Peter cheerfully and ducked back in the thicket, and reappeared with an armful of fur coats.
Susan looked around her sceptically and tried to raise an objection, she was obviously the levelheaded one of the four, while Peter and Lucy were the adventurous, maybe even mischief-making type. Edmund was just weird.
"Where did you get those coats?" asked Parkinson, eyeing them rather greedily. Peter shrugged his shoulders,
"The Wardrobe in the spear room." He said as if it was obvious. Spear room… that does make more sense than "Spear Oom" apparently the fawn was even worse in geography than I was.
"But we didn't see any wardrobe." persisted Parkinson, and that was true, all we could see was the forest stretching on and on. Peter, Susan, Parkinson and me looked at each other puzzled trying to figure out how was that possible when Lucy started tugging Peter's sleeve,
"Come on, let's go." Peter smiled down fondly at his sister and handed her a coat, and then handed one to each of us. When he handed me mine our fingers touched and I felt like an electric surge running through me. I told myself it was because his fingers were cold due to the snow but myself didn't really believe me.
"Here, Ed." Peter said softly and handed a grey coat to his brother,
"But that's a girl's coat!" Edmund called in disgust, and Peter shrugged,
"I know," Edmund glared at him venomously and we all tried to stifle a smile.
We started making our way trudging through the snow led by a skipping and a little over-excited Lucy. Susan and Parkinson walked ahead of us, already deep in conversation, girls…
Edmund walked in the fringe of the group moodily and ignored all of us. Lucy kept piping up enthusiastically about Mr. Tumnus, whom I learned was the fawn and I started to wonder if he would really be that pleased to have his house invade by six strangers.
"So where did you say you are from?" Peter asked by my side, shaking me out of my thoughts.
"I didn't. We're from Hogwarts. It's a school." I added helpfully, aware for the first time how stupid the name of our school is- the four founders had a rather sick sense of humour apparently. "Where do you come from?"
"Originally we're from Finchley, but we were sent to the countryside to protect us from the war."
"The war?"
"Yes, the war against the Germans…" he trailed off uncertainly, as if wondering under what rock was I living under. A weird thought struck me all of the sudden,
"What year is it?" The look on Peter's face showed that now he was quite positive I was mad but he answered politely all the same,
"Well, I'm not sure what year it is in Narnia but back home it's '41."
"1941?"
"Yes."
"Ah."
"Ah?"
I sighed deeply, how could I possibly explain this? "Well, we're sort of from the future…"
"Really?"
"Yes, where I come from its 1997."
"So is the war over?"
"Against the Germans it is…"
"What do you mean?"
"Never mind." I was getting a surreal feeling out of this conversation, I remembered Hermione telling me once that terrible things happen when you meddle with time. Admittedly, she wasn't talking about a situation quite like that but I guess it could have applied in this case as well. "Look, it's a little more complicated than that. You see, I'm a wizard and our school is a school of witchcraft and wizardry and we sort of got here by accident."
"Yes, your friend mentioned that you "cocked up" a potion…"
"She's not my friend. And it wasn't my fault!"
"Yes you said that already," I looked at him and he smiled pleasantly at me and I smiled sheepishly back, "So she's a witch then?"
"In more ways than one." I mumbled but Parkinson turned and gave me a death glare all the same, she's got a hearing like a bloody snake. Slytherin through and through you might say. "I'm sorry; this whole situation is a little too weird, even for me."
"Oh, don't worry. I just discovered there is an entire country inside a wardrobe. And that fawns exist, what a wizard on top of that as well?" we grinned at each other, I for one was rather glad none of them was freaked out by us. Sometimes it helps to have a strange family.
A sharp intake of breath and a small yelp cut our conversation short. Lucy stood rooted to the spot looking rather startled. Peter immediately ran to his sister and asked her what was wrong, she pointed a shaky finger and we all followed her gaze.
We were standing in front of a mountainside. On its barren grey stone was located a door, seeming oddly placed and comfortably fitting in the same time, this was presumably the fawn's house. But the door hung on broken hinges and the house appeared barraged. I stole a quick glance around me; we were no longer in the forest, its fringes stood dark and bleak behind us. I was so engrossed in my conversation with Peter; I didn't notice where we were. I mentally slapped myself for my lack of attention and turned to move cautiously to the house with the others.
The house was a mess, everything was scattered haphazardly on the floor and there were strange marks on the furniture, like claws of wolves. A loud ripping noise caused me jump and l looked around and saw Peter holding a note he tear off the wall. He read the message in a quiet tight voice,
"The fawn Tumnus is hereby charged with high treason against her imperial majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia.
For comforting her enemies and fraternizing with humans.
Sighed: Maugrim, Captain of the Secret Police.
Long live the Queen."
Parkinson and I looked at each other, fraternizing with humans? I remembered the cold, heart-stopping glare the woman gave over us back in the wood.
"Alright, now we really should get back." Susan's voice came hushed and scared.
"But what about Mr. Tumnus?" Lucy pleaded with her sister, who tried to compose herself and stay strong for the sake of her younger siblings.
"If he was arrested just for being with a human, I don't think that there's much that we can do."
"You don't understand, do you? I'm the human. She must have found out he was helping me." Lucy said, tears forming in her eyes. Come to think about it, this was more likely, after all the fawn was fraternizing with her.
We all stood uneasy for a minute, not sure what to do, it was clearly a family moment and I for one, never felt more like a third wheel (or sixth wheel).
A soft sound from outside caused us all to jerk back to reality, and Susan turned to face us with a puzzled expression,
"Did that bird just "psst" us?"
Author's note:
I know I mucked up with the time, but if I had to wait the required amount between each of the kids' visits, we'd still be sitting here next week…
