"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"

Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?

Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…

Part XXX…

"Gwrapple, check?"

Eyeing control panel…"Check."

"Acoustic towrpedoes, check?"

"Check…" sigh from Munson in scuba suit, seated in the forward seat of the Wyckmarine, a small black-green submersible, two seater in front with a larger midsection for storage and small reactor core, tapering to a smaller engine section in rear, orange and yellow tiger stripes painted on the rounded nose.

"Bwarry? You've promised not to harm them."

"I didn't pwromise not to defend myself, sis." Bwarry, behind her, likewise in suit, noted.

"Tom doesn't carry weapons."

"Tell that to the two pilots his wrepelatwron knocked down. Especially the one who dwrowned."

"All wright…Right. But at least…"

"If Swift backs off, he and his fwriends will be ok." Bwarry, shrugging. "If not…"

"We may need him to secure the ship. We've no way to know the grapple or net can catch it, even to pull it off the ocean floor. And if it's still moving too fast it could be destroyed on impact…Or sink into the muck down there." She frowned.

"Swift'll have something…I believe in youwr boyfwriend."

"Meaning you'll take it from him…"

"In fowr a penny, in fowr a pound, sis. Me…And you. Unless you'd cawre to get out now and stay with the Commandewr. I'll write you a sick note if you like." He turned to smile at her with jeering look to her frown.

"Cheewr up, sis. You'wre about to make histowry and kick Pwroton in the teeth. Sowrry about youwr widdle wromance but that should take the whammy off."

"My relations with Tom Swift are my own business, Bwarry. All I wanted here was for this to be done right. For the cargo to be taken by people who wouldn't hand it over to be abused and used. Or, if that can't be…" she paused.

"We are still prepared to destroy it if it's too dangerous or our allies get greedy?" she asked.

"I said so. And I was the one who pewrsuaded you Swift couldn't be allowed to do this on his lonesome, despite youwr close 'wrelations'."

"Tom and his dad wouldn't have let the cargo go to any one government, voluntarily. But he's too trusting and his dad too involved with the US government… In a moment they'd've taken it away from him, even both of them."

"Pwrobably killed him in the bawrgain. So, you'wre likely saving youwr guy as well fwron sevewral assasins fwrom the leading global spy agencies. Congwrats." Bwarry grinned at her.

"Tom's too naïve. As for Proton…" eye roll. "He's too…Proton…As well as gunho, USA."

"Agwreed. Well, then…We'wre doing the wright thing, as we've agwreed many times. Not the moment to get second thoughts, sistewr."

"I know, I know…Just please…" Munson, eyes pleading.

"If I can, I will." He nodded. "Just pwray Pwroton isn't too gunho and Swift isn't too self-sacwrificing."

"Thewre's still Putinsky…" she sighed. "Our ally…" sour look.

"We needed that kind of ally…You agwreed." Stern look back to her, Bwarry's eyes grim in the mask.

("Lets remember these suits are rented, people." Howard cautioned from his chair.

"Like your monocle?" Penny, dryly, from video camera.

"Nah, I bought that for him, along with Fritz Lang's riding crop, during 'Sheldonopolis'." Bernadette smiled.)

"I know… But we can't trust him."

"I don't." Bwarry shrugged. "But we'll deal with him latewr. Fiwrst, we get that ship safe, then we deal with Swift and Pwroton, then…We'll see about ouwr Wrussian allies."

"Even if we secure the cargo, the entire world will be after us, Bwarry."

"You and me, sis. Like it always should be. But they'll be thinking it over once we let them know we have it and could wrelease it. Who knows how devastating that could be. They'll deal…Owr else."

"We couldn't release it, Bwarry." Horrified look.

"No? Maybe not…But they don't know that. We'wre the cwrazy Wyckcliffes, capable of anything."

"Including murder." She eyed him.

"Cwruel necessity, sis. Of couwrse, wreleasing the cawrgo on the wowrld might solve the biggest enviwronmental pwroblem of all…Us." He smiled.

"That's not funny, Bwarry."

"Not meant to be, sis. What's funny is the wowrld believes I'm just in it for the dough." Cool smile. "No pwrinciples, no concewrns…So long as I get mine, the wowrld can go to hwell."

"We agreed that was best, Bwarry." Hard stare. "It got you access to the world's worst polluters and climate deniers and the worst offending governments and their science staffs."

"So it did…And I'd say I made damn good use of my contwacts. But putting a few aholes in jail and bwringing down a cowrrupt govewrnment owr two won't save the wowrld. This might." Nod. "So, we play for the stakes hewre, sis, and you'wre in owr out."

"You know I'm in, Bwarry. I always have been." Fond smile.

"That's my sis." He patted her hand as a red light lit up and a buzzer buzzed on his control panel. "Well, lets finish up, our comwrade hostess wants a wrepowrt."

"She's not crazy about this mission or us…" Munson noted.

"No…Nor her dear Putinsky eithewr. But I'm pwrepawred for that, too." Cool look.

("Hmmn…" Sheldon frowned. "Even I know that played more like a love scene."

"A little sibling kinkiness never hurts…" Howard noted to a worried Bernadette…

Isn't this a kiddie show?

"All this is gonna get us over 100 likes for sure. At last." Amy beamed to a troubled Penny.

Well, point there, Penny thought.)

"Can you do it, Proton?" Tom eyed Proton, Jr. in Swift's cabin.

"My detector wasn't designed for it initially…Its function being…Detection." Proton began.

"Well, if I can have a look…" Swift, whipping out slide rule and screwdriver.

I'm old school…Calculators let you down sometimes…He noted to the staring Proton.

"…But…" Proton, hastily. "When pressed for my country and Science, as I said, I can do-dad with the best of them. I can do it. Just get me close enough." Pausing…

"You realize the risk, Swift…?"

"I realized it even before you suggested this…" Swift smiled. "We were nearly all killed earlier, remember? But don't worry, the others, including Amy, will be safe."

Proton nodding.

"After all, she's the member of your team I like." Swift grinned.

"Me, too." Proton sighed, wry smile to Swift's.

("Cut!" Howard called. "Very nice, Sheldon. Stuart."

"I love you, Leonard Hof…I mean…" Amy, eyeing Penny's startled then grim look. "I like and respect you very much for this. You're a good friend."

"Yeah…" Penny noted, curtly. "Keep it that way." Hiss to Leonard. "Please…" Pleading look.

"Hey." Leonard frowning.

"Sorry, honey." Nervous look.

"You should be." Arms folded sternly. "And you ought to apologize to Amy…"

"Yes, dear." Penny nodded. "Sorry, Amy." Turning to the somewhat stunned Amy…

Uhhhh?…"Sure, bestie." Glance to Sheldon who shrugged.

You're asking me? Though I did just score a touchdown in quiet Romance, true.

Where do people get the notion I'm not good at Romance? I just consider it rather wasteful of time.

Raj, just back from fetching soda, blinking as he took in the scene…

"Ok. Lets get lunch." Leonard, firmly. Offering Penny an arm which she took.

Bernadette eyeing Howard…You believe this?

Those uniforms must be in tatters…He hissed back.

"Great job, honey…" Penny whispered to Leonard as they walked. "You're really sweating…Are you ok?" anxious look.

"I was scared to death, to be honest…You're pretty intimidating, especially when acting jealous, you know." he noted, grinning back. "Thanks, though. You really didn't have to do that." Grin.

"You've been workin' so hard to make me look good here, you were due." She beamed. "That oughta keep Howard, Barry, and Raj showing you a lil' respect for a bit."

"And I really did mean the 'please'." Earnest look.

"And I meant the 'hey'…Never, honey." He eyed her seriously.

"I know, I know…Thank God, I know." sigh, wan smile. "But…Thanks." Head on his shoulder.)

Well? Bud's look to Bernadette as they sat in the Arturo compartment, Sermek standing before them holding a glass tube with elegant dexterity in his claw.

"Better…" she shrugged.

"Thank you, Dr. Rostenkowski-Swift." Sermek's audio panel lit up.

"Yeah, well…I'm still my first choice." She noted with frown.

"I won't collapse from radiation exposure or die from a dangerous atmospheric composition…And I can't be infected." Sermek noted. "I carry an onboard analytic laboratory for rapid specimen analysis. Plus…I can lift very heavy things. Huh, huh, huh…"

"Yeah, yeah…" she waved him off. "I thought you were deleting his comedian."

"Oh, no…" Sermek in "Mr. Bill" voice. "Mr. Bud's gonna be mean to me."

"Sorry…" Bud shrugged, with wry grin. "It took so much effort to get him this funny…"

"Everyone's a comedic programmer." Sermek noted, snidely. "Huh, huh, uhhhhh…" as Bernadette pulled his power-pack.

"Yuck that up, funny boy." She glared. "Anyway, there's one thing where you're more vulnerable." Eyeing Barclay in his seat…

"I'm still the best one to go in." She insisted.

"I know…So does Tom." He sighed. "But at least take Sermek. He can help and like he says, he can lift heavy things…And toss em at the Wyckcliffes' and co."

"What you really mean is, he can lift me…" she eyed him.

"Well, sure…You're not that heavy." Grin, earnest look at her. Bernadette rolling eyes.

"Fine. I'll take him. But I give the orders." She noted.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, ma'am." Bow of head.

"Anyway, don't worry about me. I can't die. My dad would kill you." She smiled, replacing power-pack.

"Whoa…Who turned the lights out?" Sermek, rotating his restored-to-upright mid-section. "Very funny, short round." Turning to face Bernadette who frowned at him, then Bud who raised hands haplessly.

"Tom programmed him on the comedy…"

"Where's Arthur?" Amy, entering from the rotor mid-section… "He asked me to help him with the dark matter detector…? As in, 'just watch it and see it doesn't go anywhere'." Slight frown.

"Hello, Dr. Amy." Sermek, pleasantly. "Your sweater is especially complicated in its cardigan pattern today."

"Afternoon, and thank you, Sermek. Well?" she turned to the others.

"Tom asked him to meet." Bernadette shrugged.

"Alone? In secret?" Amy frowned. "That's not right, we should be sharing all information."

"We were, earlier…With the Wyckcliffes." Bud noted. "And I would note I'm here, so it's not as if…"

"Naturally the engineer would be excluded…" Amy shrugged.

"Thanks…" Bud frowned.

"If I didn't think you were just concerned for Proton, Amy…" Bernadette eyed her.

"Sorry…I am. I suspect he and Tom are up to something dangerous…And if it has to be done, I want in." firm tone, taking seat.

"You will be, information-wise…" Proton noted, on screen, Swift beside him, in the Suburo compartment. "Just hang on a moment…" he tapped a remote.

"The detector…!" Amy cried, as the dark matter detector vanished before their eyes.

"Warning! Warning!" Sermek flailed arms. "Dark matter energy pulse detected!"