"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"

Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?

Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…

Part XXXII…

"So, you somehow used the detector to teleport itself to you two and then you and the detector back here?" Dr. Amy eyed Proton, then Swift.

"No…We used the detector to harness the dark matter accumulated by the ship in relatively near space to create a warp bubble around itself similar to that around the ship only far smaller." Proton explained. "We then phase-shifted it so it and all items associated by the detector with it, including the physical detector could move through solid matter and called it over to us. We then expanded the field to include us and repeated the process back to here. No disintegration was involved. I dislike disintegration/reintegration scenarios. Another me? No way, Jose."

"Indeed." Tom agreed with smile.

"Do you two realize how dangerous that was? For us as well as you…?" Bernadette fumed. "Bud?" she turned to him.

"Bud!" frowning at Barclay eagerly peering at the detector controls having stepped over at once.

"Hmmn? Oh, sure…That was another brilliantly crwazy one, Thomas...Proton." He noted.

"It's Proton's modifications that did the trick, mirroring what we could figure out of the ship's drive field." Tom noted.

"Brilliant? Like the time his repelatron nearly killed you!" she fumed at Bud.

"Well, that was really my fault. I accidentally turned it on after using it to splatter soup all over the place for a joke on poor ole Chow, our cook. The repelatron's sensor corelated the primary water element of soup with the water component in my cells and started dehydrating me. It actually proved a very useful little mishap, Tom redesigned the sensor for far more efficiency." Bud, a bit sheepishly.

"In any case, there was no danger to you." Proton noted. "We were shifted totally out of sync with your state. And credit where credit is due, Tom dodaddled the navigational controls…The phase shift warp bubble is some NASA geek monkey's idea."

"Phased shift? In which case if your calculations were off by a millimeter, you'd've ended up in the water outside and been drowned and crushed to death." Amy frowned.

"Oh, crushed immediately, no worries as to drowning." Proton noted.

"Tom?!" Bernadette shook head.

"We were absolutely sure about the calculations, sis." Tom noted. "And now we have…"

"Unlimited power, starships, instantaneous earthly and solar system travel, the ability to travel through solid rock, a neat way to surprise your party guests?" Bud eagerly noted.

"A little too soon for all that…" Tom shook head. "But we have a way to get to and, hopefully, into the alien vessel before it reaches Earth."

"And possibly to control the vessel once we get there…" Proton, rather smugly.

Naturally when I choose to dodaddle I dodaddle amazingly.

"Great…Hand it over." Amy, grimly. "Ready to go warp hopping, Bernadette?"

("Interesting. I'd read that the theoretical basis for warp drive is established. Say, the robot you build for me will still have the little girl's voice?" Mr. Jones, watching from his seat asked Howard. "I like the original B-9's but there's something rather terrifying about her tonal quality."

"Oh, sure…It'll be a custom job, sir. And I get you." Howard nodded.)

"Has silent running been engaged?!" the Lermontov Commander demanded.

"Yes, Commander. We are fully silent." The first officer nodded.

"So long as our new toy actually works…The first submarine to use it was lost, after all…Supposedly." The Commander offered grim smile.

"Yes, the Red October incident in the 1980s…But it has been tested since with success…Though not in combat conditions." the first officer noted.

"Well, here maybe the chance to do so, press her to the limit, Lieutenant." Commander Putinsky ordered. "How long before we intercept the Swift vessel?"

"One hour at our current speed and heading, Commander and we are at maximum speed." The first officer replied.

(Oooh… "Isn't ma honey doing great…So Russian and professional?" Penny gushed. Leonard in his Russian Lieutenant's uniform beaming.

"Yes, yes…He'll always be your second-in-command till death do you part." Howard frowned. "Now could we get on with it?"

"That's love…" Wil nodded to Raj as they sat. "When an actor gives that kind of praise to a newcomer to the Craft… I'm afraid professional jealousy kills so many relationships in my profession. It's a shark tank a lot of the time."

"Is that why we never meet anyone from 'Star Trek' or 'Eureka' at your place?" Raj eyed him.

"Uh…Yeah, pretty much." Sigh. "I do get on with the director from 'Serial Apeist III."

"He's not bad, that little husband of yours." Mr. Jones noted to Bernadette who beamed. "The monocle really is a nice touch." Shrewd nod.

"Right. Come on my lil' 'first officer'…Lets rock this scene and then…" whisper to Leonard, he blushing as she grins.

"Da, Commander!" snapping to attention.

"They did show receipts for the uniforms?" Howard hissed to Bernadette who nodded...Please, I didn't let 'em leave last night till I saw same. "But make 'em take them off when this is done, we still have Lermontov scenes to do.")

"What about the Drs. Wyckcliff?" Commander Putinsky turned to the female officer at the communications console.

"They report they've entered the undersea canyon and are descending into the abyss…" the officer noted.

"Very well…Maintain speed and heading. Let me know if the Swift vessel changes course or surfaces. I'll be in my cabin for a moment. First officer?" she turned to the Lieutenant.

("Cut!" Howard cried. Bernadette glaring…

So is this another "last night/minute" rewrite?

"Come on, it'll be like a Russian version of Kirk and Spock only we might be gettin' it on…" Penny grinned.

"Oh, you'd be more like the Romulan Commander and his wise elderly Centurion friend, since Leonard modeled this on that Star Trek episode." Sheldon insisted. "Of course, maybe they were gettin' whatever on, off camera."

"I want to ask him if he knows what he just suggested…" Howard noted to Bernadette. "But I almost prefer not being sure."

"She's kidding." Leonard sighed. "Read the next line… 'You have the con'. Just like Spock." Grin.

"Or Sulu." Sheldon noted. "You could just be her Mr. Sulu, you know. After all, you're bright in an amusing, junior officer sort of way and your small eyes could be taken for…")

"You have the con." The Commander noted.

"Aye, sir." The Lieutenant nodded.

(And we begin our sandwiching in a great love story with a tragic end…She beamed. It's really nice to be tight with the screenwriter.)

The Commander entered her ready room, sat and tapped on a computer keyboard, the screen lighting to show a beaming Putinsky.

"Commander? To what do I owe this pleasure? You have news for me?"

"We're inside the landing perimeter and will intercept the Swift vessel within one hour."

"Excellent. Remember, you will identify yourself as operating under UN auspices, here to assist and cooperate with Swift until the alien craft is acquired." Putinsky smiled. "We want to be good allies, naturally."

"The Wyckcliffs are expecting a distraction by us…"

"Talk and comradely cooperation can be a fine distraction…But as we discussed, so far as Russia is concerned, the Wyckcliffs are a welcome distraction. In any case your priority is the alien craft. If Swift seems likely to acquire it, assist him and use the Wyckcliffs to prove your noble intentions…Then destroy Swift and seize the craft, blaming the tragic incident on the Wyckcliffs whom you managed to destroy. If the Wyckcliffs deal with Swift and gain the craft, you naturally will do your duty as an ally and avenge our comrade Swift and reacquire the craft from those terrible people for the good of Mankind." Putinsky grinned. "You did deceive Wyckcliffe and his sister…A tragic loss in her case, such a beauty…As to your operational capacity?"

"We told them our crush depth was half its true nature. Though, Mr. President…I must say that I will not risk my crew unnecessarily beyond my duty."

"Of course…But one's duty must come first…Yours and theirs, Commander. However, I have complete faith in you."

"Thank you, sir." Coldly.

Geesh she could give me, a strong Russian macho male, points for giving this to a woman, if a relative? He thought.

"And of course, should you be unable to acquire the vessel…? As a last option…"

"We'll destroy it." She nodded. "And, as per orders…" cold tone.

"Your necessary sacrifice to protect Russia from undue accusations would be forever honored." Smile… "But destroy the vessel only as a last option, Commander." He cautioned. "As will you destroy Swift if he should turn out to have a way yet to capture the ship in space. You have full authorization to use whatever means, including your nuclear weapons, to do so. A safe journey and success to you, Commander. Putinsky, out." His face vanishing.

("Gee, even I get the irony there. 'Safe journey'?" Sheldon blinked. "Wil Wheaton, we may be friends now, but you still got it as pure evil."

"It's the pyramid…" Wil noted to Raj, folding hands in pyramid. "It just radiates power."

Penny rolling eyes…)