A Little Lower Than The Angels
Chapter 17
Disclaimers: As previously stated
Spoilers: Anything up to and including A Tangled Webb II the season 4 episode 'Going After Francesca' will be specifically referred to.
A/N: This chapter will conclude Part One; I will be posting the next part in a few weeks. This time I am going to have it nearly finished before I post so that it is easier for you and for me to enjoy. (smile)
A/N: Many thanks to janlaw for her sharing her knowledge of the JAG Corps and to Cece, for reminding me to trust myself. (smile)
Other men, it is said, have seen angels
But I have seen thee, and though art enough.
George Eliot
1130
May 18th, 2003
Wednesday
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Admiral Chegwidden eyes scanned over his letter of resignation, starting with the JAG letterhead, all the way to his signature at the bottom of the page. He thought of all the changes that would come about as a result of its submission. It would take nearly a year for everything to be in place to allow his retirement. His office was too essential to have a quick transition; proper debriefing and being read out of the classified programs alone would take months. In truth, he'd need that much time to let go and move on anyway. While it was true that the political side of this job had begun to wear on him, the duties of this position, he felt privileged to perform
He reflected on all the changes in his life that had occurred since his graduation from the Academy. His ambitions had been very different then. He had always meant to be a career officer but he could not have foreseen the many turns his life would take. Even when he changed his designator and turned his mind toward the law and the JAG corps, he was still very ambitious. He'd had his eye on the CNO's office, believing that it was only a matter of time until he held that position. Tangling with the former SecNav on more than one occasion had taken care of those ambitions.
He buzzed Petty Officer Tiner's desk.
"Tiner, I have a letter that requires a courier, ASAP."
"Yes, sir"
Admiral Chegwidden placed the letter inside a manila envelope and sealed it. He placed it back down on his desk still contemplating his decision to retire. He could only think, 'No, I have no regrets.' He was sure it was time and though he hadn't gone as far in his career as he had hoped, he was proud of what he had accomplished. His personal life was another matter. Marcella was lost to him, and there was really never anyone else who came close to what he felt for her….but there was still Francesca. He'd been alone for the greater part of his adult life, there was no reason that he couldn't continue life the way he was. He just couldn't see himself married to anyone, not at this stage of his life. He smiled thinking that maybe Kern had been right, he'd become an old cantankerous man.
Who would have him?
Petty Officer Tiner knocked and came in, "Sir?"
"Yes, Petty Officer, I want this to get to the Chief of Naval Personnel….today."
"Yes sir," He came to attention.
"You're dismissed"
As he turned to leave the Admiral made the same request that he had twice this morning, "Tiner?"
He turned to him "Sir?"
"Try to get that call through again to Naples."
Tiner smiled at him, "Yes sir."
1325
Friday
May 20, 2003
US hwy 64 North
Somewhere between Norfolk and DC
Mac was moving through traffic as quickly as she could so that she could get back to DC. It was Friday…finally Friday and she hadn't seen Harm since Tuesday morning. He'd been given a case that took him to Gulfport, Mississippi for a few days, the Admiral had loaned him to the judiciary at Admiral Morris request. The person who held that post had a death in his family and Harm was dispatched right away. Harm was back, he'd come in late last night. He'd called her this morning, just as she was winding things up, saying he had a surprise for her. He asked her if she had a red dress and when she said yes, he only said. "Wear it. I'll pick you up at 1900." He'd ended the call, not giving her a chance to answer.
Mac was about 10 miles out of Falls Church when the sound of her cell phone startled her. She looked quickly at the number and smiled.
"Hey… you." She spoke before Harm had a chance to greet her.
"Hey. Where are you?"
"I'm just outside Washington."
"Did you wrap everything up down there?"
Mac had been sent to Norfolk at the request of Captain Porter, the CO, of the USS Belknap had requested JAG oversight on an investigation being conducted by NLSO Norfolk
"Yeah, I started my report before I left Norfolk, so I should finish right on time this afternoon. How was Gulfport?"
"Hot and muggy, and the air conditioning went out at the VOQ. It's no fun getting hot and sweaty by myself."
Mac could hear the devilish grin in his voice. He'd had an appointment with Captain Miles this afternoon and thankfully, whatever they talked about didn't seem to have left him in a sour mood.
"So…what's this surprise you have for me?"
"You'll just have to trust me Mackenzie."
"Hmm, I don't know…"
"Don't worry…you're in good hands….I promise."
"Speaking of hands Harm….did you miss me?"
Harm was just pulling in to his parking place at JAG, and he laughed softly, "Oh yeah….you know I did."
"Good." She said smugly and ended the call, grinning mischievously. She was paying him back; she'd been just finishing up a meeting with the CO of the Belknap, this morning, when he'd requested that red dress. She maintained her professional demeanor, but there was no way she could have explained the blush creeping up her neck. She owed him one, she thought… 'Payback, Harmon.'
Harm sat in his Lexus…looking down at his still open, cell phone. No doubt about it, Sarah Mackenzie was an outrageous flirt when she wanted to be….and he was loving every minute of it.
At that same moment……
Captain Oliver Miles was making his way down the hallway to a late lunch. Because Commander Rabb had been out of town, he arranged to see him over his lunch hour so that The Commander could maintain his twice weekly appointment.
The Commander was making progress with his therapy, but there were still things that Captain Miles could see were not on their way to resolution. He read the literature as he was instructed, spoke intelligently of its contents, but still seemed to feel that little of it pertained to him or his mother.
His fathers loss, up until recently had been a strong motivator to succeed in his career, there was no question about that. But the concern Captain Miles had was in the personal part of his life. He hadn't experienced any kind of long term relationship with anyone, with the exception of his friendship with his co worker, who he had just begun seeing. He had left the Navy, the most stabilizing force in his life to rescue her, he had said, from certain death.
It was a matter of record that a very short time prior to his resignation, he had been accused in the murder of a former co worker at JAG and had remained silent about many aspects of the case because he was trying to protect a young man he believed to be his half brother. It seemed the young man had been seeing her, and the Commander couldn't allow anyone to believe his brother had anything to do with it.
Commander Rabb was rescuing everyone….to compensate for the fact that he couldn't rescue his father.
Another issue that concerned the Captain was that Commander Rabb seemed unperturbed by the fact of his brother, that he had been conceived while the Commander believed he was trying to get back to them. While Captain Miles was skeptical that this truly was his brother, he still didn't understand Commander Rabb's unquestioning acceptance of a child his father had with a woman other than his mother.
Captain Miles continued down the hall toward the elevators, passing the office of Commander Vera McCool, another counselor struggling with an accomplished officer who had built a wall around her that, to the Commanders mind, appeared impenetrable.
Commander McCool reviewed the legal pad on her desk; she was going over what she had learned about the Colonel, point by point. The only child of a Staff Sergeant Joseph Mackenzie, deserted by her mother, Deanna at the age of 15, leaving her with a father that she knew was abusive and an alcoholic. Sarah Mackenzie followed him into that alcoholism herself, but to her credit, was maintaining sobriety and had for nearly18 years, with only one relapse during that period of time.
The Colonel was very matter of fact about the details of her childhood. There was no emotion, and no tears, when she repeated the most degrading and hurtful things that her father had said to her as a child and as an adolescent young girl. She spoke of the fact that her mother had left them on her birthday, taking a beloved pet along with her, and as with the other detail of her life, her face was expressionless.
When the subject matter became difficult, Colonel Mackenzie would seem irritated, but she would rein herself in quickly. There was no doubt about it…she didn't want to be in counseling and the resented being made to attend these sessions.
Commander McCool had reviewed her service record, her service in Bosnia had been exemplary, but she had evaded any direct question regarding this time. She also refused to talk about a recent mission. The Colonel would only say that it was classified, and that she hadn't been hurt.
They were nowhere near the heart of Colonel Mackenzie's issues, she demonstrated symptoms of PTSD to be sure, but Commander McCool had begun to believe that her symptoms had begun long ago, possibly before she had even come to JAG.
The only emotion she was unable to hide from her was her feelings when she spoke of someone with whom she had just become involved. Her face would literally light up when she spoke of him. Outside of her career in the Marines, he seems to have been the only constant. She had stated that they'd been friends for a long time and had only recently acknowledged their deeper feelings.
At the end of their last session Commander McCool had suggested a group session with other women who were suffering from PTSD. The Colonel was blunt, and to the point.
"Look, I'm not some soccer mom whose reserve enlistment landed her in Iraq dodging IED's, I'm a professional, I'm a Marine. Yes, I have nightmares, yes I have trouble sleeping sometimes, but if those are the only symptoms you're going on, then I had PTSD when I was 10 years old."
"You seem very angry. Are you angry that you are here?"
"Let's just say I know how to handle what happens in my life, I learned to do it long ago. I don't need counseling to tell me how to cope."
"Are you refusing to return for your next session?"
"No, I'm not, as I said, I'm a Marine, I know how to follow an order. Admiral Chegwidden's order to me was that I would attend these sessions as long as you deemed necessary. "
Commander Mc Cool considered Mac's statement.
"Do you still think they are necessary Commander?" Mac was fighting hard to keep the sarcasm out of her voice.
Commander McCool looked at her steadily and answered, "For the time being Colonel, yes, I do."
That conversation ended their session. Commander McCool looked back down at her notes and wondered aloud. "What's it going to take Colonel? What will bring that pain to the surface so that you can be free of it?"
1935(Naples time)
Friday
Paretti Villa
Naples, Italy
Marcella Paretti had just finished speaking with her daughter Francesca, She asked that her mother come to visit and help her with her son, Alberto, beginning this weekend. Francesca lived in Marcella's parent's former home, a beautiful villa just outside Naples that they had occupied when her grandfather was mayor of that city.
Francesca told her mother she wanted to begin some freelance work, nothing that would consume too much of her time. She told her mother that she just needed to begin again; her son would soon be 10 months old. Though the considerable wealth left behind by her mother's parents and her stepfather, made working unnecessary, Francesca still insisted upon a career.
She missed her grandson, she hadn't seen him in over a week and still this was too long. It gave her a secret thrill to know he was the image of AJ, though she was sure, he would never know this child, he was lost to his family here, forever. There were times she allowed herself to hope that he would return to them all someday, but as in the past, time had proved that this was not meant to be.
Her mourning for her Vittorio had been long and deep but with it, came a strong sense of shame that Marcella could reveal to no one. She knew that her husband saw what strong feelings remained between herself and AJ. She and Vittorio had been married for over twenty years, and he knew her too well. They had never discussed it, and because of Luscino Antinori, and his family, they never had the chance… her husband was dead.
2055(Washington time)
Friday
Calisto's
Washington D.C.
Harm sat at the candle lit table in a secluded a corner of the restaurant. Mac had excused herself to 'powder her nose.' Harm smiled at the thought. He'd be willing to bet that Mac had never powdered her nose in her life. She didn't need to; especially tonight, she seemed to be glowing with health and happiness.
Their table had been cleared and as Harm traced the pattern of the creamy white linen tablecloth with the tip of his finger, he thought of how perfect this evening was. Their 'date' had been everything he'd been dreaming of since he first asked Mac to let him take her to Calisto's over a month ago.
He'd picked her up promptly, at 1900. Black tuxedo and a single white rose in his hand. When she'd answered the door, she'd literally taken his breath away. Her dress was rose red and framed her shoulders as though the dress had been custom made, the dress was fitted but was not tight, its full skirt coming to rest in a feminine swirl, just above her knees. What was it about Mac and red? She wore a ruby solitaire on a delicate golden chain around her neck. She had done her hair in such a way that it was fuller and thicker, framing her face, much the way she'd worn it in their first years together. She'd never know how many of his dreams she'd occupied in those days.
Harm looked up to see Mac walking toward him, turning the head of every man in the room, as she passed. Harm stood as Mac approached, his mind still having difficulty grasping that they were finally here, in this place, together.
"Would you like to dance Mac?"
Mac smiled at him, "You did promise me 'dinner, dancing and lights down low' didn't you?"
"Yes, I did."
Harm took her hand and gently guided her out to the dance floor. When he turned back toward her, she gracefully stepped into his loose embrace.
"How am I doing with that promise, Mackenzie?"
Mac leaned in and whispered, "This is wonderful Harm."
He pulled her more closely to him in response and brushed his cheek against her temple.
"It is."
He spoke in a hushed voice, its sound causing a tingle to race down her spine.
2200
Friday
Chegwidden Residence
Maclean Virginia
Admiral Chegwidden was just finishing packing for his trip to Naples, he had finally gotten through to Francesca and she had been delighted that he was coming. He wasn't sure what to expect with regard to this 'someone' she wanted him to meet. He had hoped to have time to spend with her, alone, so that he'd have a chance to really get to know her, and get a handle on her life as it was now.
He'd been surprised that she was staying at her grandparent's villa; The Admiral had fond memories of that particular place and also very painful memories as well. Marcella had fled there when she left him, and it had broken his heart. The conversation that he had when Francesca had been taken was enlightening….but 20 years too late. She said she waited for him to come to her that she didn't understand why he didn't come to bring her back to him. He'd thought she never wanted to see him again.
After Marcella's husband was killed, he couldn't face her, he felt he'd failed her somehow. Francesca had tried to stay in touch, afterward, but they always seemed to miss each other. She had been right, work always pressed in, and it had to be dealt with first. They hadn't established a strong enough bond to stand that kind of separation, maybe that had been his problem all along. He believed that was what happened to his relationship with Marcella. His duty required a certain amount of detachment, he was always able to do it, but the problem was, he couldn't turn that detachment on and off like a switch.
The Admiral closed the suitcase and securing the lock, he spoke his thoughts aloud, "It's too late now."
He carried his luggage to the front door, so that tomorrow morning would be as uncomplicated as possible. Having to arrive 2 hours prior to departure was enough. He'd left Sturgis in place as acting JAG. Something he was sure both Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb would dislike greatly. He wanted his two senior attorneys to concentrate on their duties and completing their course of counseling. There seemed to be a lot less stress apparent in both of them. The Admiral chuckled aloud, thinking that might be due to the fact that they were spending every waking moment together when they weren't at JAG.
He'd taken 10 days leave, he couldn't remember the last time he'd taken that much personal time, but he knew if he didn't respond to Francesca's challenge right away that he might lose her forever.
This was something he had the power to prevent; he would not lose what he had left of his family.
2230
Friday
E street
Washington DC
Harm and Mac walked along the paved path between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument. It was quiet, the city noise was muted and Harm had laced Mac's fingers into his, catching her eye as she turned toward him.
"So…are you still enjoying our date?"
Mac nodded and smiled shyly, pulling her wrap a bit more tightly around her shoulders, to ward off the cool air in the mid Spring night. "Yes…I am."
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. His gesture pulled her body close to his side and he tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. He looked down at her, the love in his expression warming her to her heart.
They stood in front of the Lincoln Memorial, beautifully lit inside, its stark white marble contrasting with the dark and seemingly starless, sky. The city's lights had made them invisible, unlike the starry sky that they'd looked into in Afghanistan. He reminded her of that night.
She laughed, "Oh yeah…I remember that 'sharing body heat' invitation."
"That's right….why did you make me work so hard to get you to come closer to me?" He had stopped and turned her to face him.
"I thought you'd want your space, you weren't really very easy to read back then Harm."
"Sharing body heat was nice, though….until the bombs started falling."
"Yes…it was."
Harm pulled her into a loose embrace and kissed her lightly. When he broke the kiss and backed away from her, she looked into his eyes knowingly. He wanted more; Mac knew he'd been reining himself in all night.
"Come on and kiss me Sailor, you know you want to."
Mac had barely had a chance to finish her sentence when Harm covered her mouth with his own. His arms tightened around her involuntarily, hell yes, he'd wanted to kiss her. Dancing with her at Calisto's had been a real challenge. It made him wish he'd chosen The Blue Note or The One Step Down, then he'd have been able to hold her the way he wanted to as they danced, and no one would have been scandalized if he kissed her senseless.
Harm's kiss went on and on, he had missed her these last few days, she felt so good in his arms and their kisses had begun to be a language for them. At least he thought so, he loved her, he needed her like the air he breathed, and she had to know that. He'd kiss her deeply, the soft sexy sound she made as he did, nearly buckling his knees. She'd return his ardor with an intensity he'd never experienced. She was his match; there was no doubt about it.
He knew he needed to stop this, at least until he could take her to his apartment or they'd have the Capital Police arresting them for public indecency. He loosened his hold on her and gently but firmly griped her arms, pulling her back from him as he rested his forehead on hers.
"Mmmac." Harm's breath was coming in short gasps.
"We need to..."
She was still catching her breath, so she nodded, the affirmative, "I know…but where are we...
"My place…it's closer." He answered her before she asked the question. He loved how in sync they seemed to be, no need to talk, they both seemed to know what the other was going to say.
"Sounds good to me." They both laughed sheepishly at how quickly things seemed to spiral out of control between them.
"I think its time we finished this date in style." He released her and tucked her hand, once again, into the crook of his arm. They started down the remainder of the steps.
"Will I get a proper good night kiss….and everything?"
Harm would only smile slyly as he guided her back to his vehicle. As he opened her door and she entered the Lexus, he looked into her eyes and asked, "Do you want a proper good night kiss?"
"Mmm Hmm…. and everything."
2310
Friday
Al Italia flight 1217
Somewhere over the Atlantic
Admiral Chegwidden settled back into his seat, it would be a long flight and he didn't want to arrive in Naples exhausted. Since he'd decided to take leave, he'd been champing at the bit to get away. He was so ready for this time with Francesca.
He looked out into the night sky and unbidden, the memory of what Marcella had said to him in their last conversation alone. "Someday I'll tell you about the nights I cried myself to sleep listening for your footsteps."
She had wanted him to come to her and he had no idea…all those years wasted. Early in their separation and eventual divorce, when he allowed himself to think of her, it was always at her parent's villa, standing on their terrace, like a heroine from a Shakespearean play, waiting for him…only him. For years Vittorio Paretti didn't exist, in his dreams. He mentally shook the thoughts away, this trip was about his relationship with Francesca, and this was his last chance to know her, as a father should.
2354
Friday
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Harm lay awake with Mac spooned into his arms. Just as she was starting to drift off to sleep and Harm asked her a question.
"Have any plans for the first weekend in August?" He absent mindedly traced her shoulder blade with his fingers, then leaning back slightly he flattened his hand on her back and stroked her, making her body relax even more.
Mac was only vaguely aware of his question. "Hmmm, no." She drew a deep breath "this feels nice."
"Good" He leaned down and kissed her shoulder. "I'd like you to attend a wedding with me."
Mac's eyes snapped open. "A wedding?" Mac's heart beat sped up immediately. She knew she wanted only him and she never wanted to leave him, but she didn't think she could handle a wedding now…not yet, not until they had Commander McCool and Captain Miles behind them.
"Sergei's…I'm best man."
Mac was quiet for a moment, silently admonishing herself for panicking. Harm would never push her on something like that now. She'd never do that to him. What was she thinking?
"I'd like you to be there, it would mean a lot to me." He almost sounded self conscious, as though he wasn't sure what she'd say.
She turned in his arms and kissed him. "I'd love to; if the Admiral will give both of us leave."
"We'll take a long weekend, Friday and Monday. If we give him plenty of notice, we shouldn't have a problem." He couldn't hide his relief, he wanted her with him. This was too important of an event for Mac to miss.
"Maybe by then, we'll be done with It seemed to hang over her constantly, like a specter.
"Yeah, everything should be back to normal by then."
Mac couldn't help chuckling, "Since when did you or I ever have a normal life?"
Harm pulled her close and laughed with her. "Well, lets just say, everything will be back to normal….for us."
So it began, the summer that would lift the hearts of our friends at JAG into the highest heights but would also bring them down to the depths of their lowest lows.
Their search for the truth and healing always keeping them…just a little lower than the angels.
FIN
Part One
A/N: I have decided not to go further into Season Nine than the first episode; ATW II. The next part of the story will deal with the summer after their arrival home from Paraguay and possibly going through the end of October.
I wont be following season 9 cases or events for most of part Two…for obvious reasons.
Thanks again to everyone who has hung in there with me.
Part Two will follow in approx 3 weeks.
