"The Adventures of Professor Proton, Jr: The Proton Express…"

Summary: In my first longer Proton Jr tale, can Prof Proton Jr. aka mild-mannered Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy aka Amy F. Fowler save the world at Christmas…And can Proton Jr. keep that blond sob of an engineering genius Tom Swift, Jr. away from his girl?

Equally important…Should Cameragirl Penny allow this thing to appear on her acting credits or just accept that all hope of a professional career is gone and just enjoy while peddling her drugs?

Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…

Part XLII…

"Professor…Arthur…Proton…" the floating image, bright in the quite dim light of the ship's interior, intoned. "Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski-Swift…Greetings."

"Say something, Arthur…" Bernadette hissed over radio.

"Uh…" Proton stared through the glass portal of his suit at the smiling figure…

"Greetings…"

"Accept our apologies for a low-level scan of your brains…" the image smiled. "Just what was necessary to establish communication…" Deeper smile. "No…Offense meant."

"Oh, that's fine." Proton shrugged. "My girlfriend and colleague, Dr. Amy, scans my brain all the time." Bernadette eyeing him.

"Sermek?" Bernadette addressed the robot. "Any physical readings…?"

"The image is a holographic projection from the ship…A matrix of energy fields." Sermek noted.

"And hello, alien image…I am Sermek, B-9 environmental control robot."

"Greetings, Sermek." The image smiled. "Your AI device is quite advanced." It noted.

"Thank you." Sermek, raising bubble head.

"You're…A Martian?" Bernadette addressed the figure.

"We are the children of Sol4, Home, though this individual was…Born…On our artificial Home, approximately thirty Home journeys…Martian years?...Ago. Five million years to Earth, Professor Proton?" it addressed Proton.

"Oh…I was just thinking you resembled the Martians as conceived in that film…Movie…Talking picture?" Proton explained. "And its original title was 'Quatermass and the Pit' which was good about identifying the scientist in the movie but not very good describing what was in the Pit."

"Insect form…Yes…Not quite, actually." The image noted. "We are descended from creatures similar to your concept but are now…Warm-blooded and more…" pause. "Human…Humanoid in our form." Smile, cocking head.

"Are we communicating with you directly?" Bernadette asked. "Sermek says you're not physically on the ship."

"Correct. Direct communication with us is only possible at several…Days'…Delay. Therefore this one, Mimmmnll…" a series of clicks following the more comprehensible tones. "Or, 'Mary', as she has chosen for human name…Programmed what you would call the ship's computer to generate an interactive interface based on her…Me." Smile. "Call me Mary…"

"Mary…That's nice. That was…" Bernadette, blinking. "Tom's mother's name."

"Yes, we learned of it via Earth signals…Radio, television…That was how we determined Tom Swift and his father Thomas were good candidates for our current era first contact."

"Mary's my mother's name too…" Proton noted.

"Yes." The image agreed, smiling. "We hope you will accept it as a complement, though she…I…Really do like the name."

"It's amazing how you've managed to comprehend us…" Bernadette noted.

"We have studied our cousins of Earth for millions of years…And maintained a surveillance since we left the sun's field so long ago. Curious, Arthur…" the image regarded him.

"You fear the creatures in your concept? Do you fear us?"

"Well, that…That was a movie…A fantasy. I don't know if you understand the concept."

"We do." Nod… "We have many such, in our own forms for learning and entertainment, much like you…And much of what you have beamed into space we have enjoyed. May the Force be with us all…And may you live long, and prosper." smile.

"Then your…Home satellite, artificial world?...Is within fifty light years? To have received those broadcasts." Arthur noted, intrigued.

"He's not so stupid as he looks, miss." Sermek noted to Bernadette. Shhhh…She frowned through glass at the robot.

"About two hundred…" the image noted. "But we have left a number of…Probes and transmitters along our pathway."

"Fascinating…" Proton nodded.

"Indeed." The image smiled. "But why do you fear…Insects? Dr. Rostenkowski-Swift does not seem to."

"Oh, to be fair…I'm scared to death of spiders and such…" Bernadette noted. "It's a human thing, probably a defense mechanism we evolved to avoid small, potentially harmful creatures. But our imaginations sometimes get the better of us. No offense intended, Mary. And please, call me, Bernadette."

"None taken. Bernadette…" Smile.

"I'll stick with Professor Proton." Proton noted.

"It is very good to have you both aboard…Me…In my personification of this vessel." Mary noted.

"So, you are the ship?" Bernadette stared. "Or the computer that runs the ship…?"

"I am…Though the ship and what you would call a computer are one. And I carry the memory and personality, I hope well, of Mary who speaks for the People of Home...Or Mars as you have named it."

"The Queen of the hive." Proton spoke up.

"We have had such, early in our development, but now it is an…Elected…Rank. What you might call…"

Closest thing to a greenish blush on the image's face… "A Chancellor…Or Prime Minister…Though not a Palpatine, I assure you." Smile.

"It's an honor to meet you, Chancellor Mary." Bernadette nodded.

"Thank you. And you, Bernadette and Professor Proton. Welcome aboard. Though I/we are curious. Why have you boarded here in space, an admirable feat, truly, but at such risk before the agreed landing? Is there some problem with landing site?"

"That is exactly why we're here, Mary." Bernadette sighed. "And I hope you can help us."

"Righty-tighty, lefty-losey…Same for the hatch wheel." Bud noted via mike to Amy…

"Ok, turning left…" Amy's voice on intercom. "It seems…To…Be…Stuck."

"Trying increasing the motive force in your arm, Amy." Swift spoke up. "But not too much…"

"Increasing twenty-five percent…No go. Stepping to forty. It's starting…" sigh. "Nope, stuck. Let me dial it up sixty percent…Oh, there, it's turning...Whoa!"

"Amy?! Amy?! You ok?" Swift called.

"Amy?!" Bud tried.

"I'm ok." Sigh. "The hatch popped open and some rocks came down on me but no damage. Nice work on the suit, Tom. I think I owe you my life."

("Say…" Sheldon frowned. "Is this supposed to be hinting at sexual tension here? Suggesting Dr. Amy might be interested in Swift?"

"Oh, Sheldon…" Amy beamed. "You got it without me or Penny having to tell you!"

"Leonard!" Sheldon cried.

I know, he'll be on me for weeks. But…Still worth it…Leonard hissed to Penny who beamed as both turned to face the aggrieved Dr. Cooper.)

Phew…Bud eyed Tom who nodded.

"Can you see? I think there's a clear way out now. I'm going up." Amy's voice called over the intercom.

"We see it, Amy! Good job!" Swift noted.

Hmmn…Bud eyed a new leak. Small but without sealer…

"Ok, I'm making my way up."

("Sheldon? You know I'm perfectly safe." Amy sighed over radio, peering out of suit in water tank at Sheldon, his face now buried in his arms.

"I know, but Dr. Amy isn't. And I can't look." He replied. "I forgive you for hinting at sexual lust with Swift. Just get it over with fast, and Leonard? No more 'Dr. Amy faces Death' scenes, would you?"

"Sheldon? You're risking death in space as Proton. Don't take away my chance to shine…" Amy's voice.

"Yeah, Sheldon, you let that girl shine! Shine on, bestie!" Penny called.

"Well…I suppose it is nice to see how easily she's mastered acting, far superior to your own talents or lack thereof." Sheldon noted. "Right, Wil?" turning to a startled Wil.

"Gotta go, audition. I'll be back for my next scene." Wil, hastily rising.

Uh-boy, Leonard sighed, eyeing Penny's stricken face.)

"Ok…" Amy's voice. "I'm at the opening and leaving the rotor compartment. Boy, did we take a hit or three!"

"Watch out for more debris…" Tom noted urgently. "You're not out of the woods yet."

"And that suit can only take so many hits by mountainsides…" Bud added.

"Right. I'm being careful. How are you guys?"

"Fine, just fine." Tom, eyeing the slightly worsened leak.

"Ok, I'm out of the compartment and standing on it." Amy on intercom. "You've got a few nice ones on you, Suburo. One tough little ship, you built, Tom."

"Thanks. Ok, good. Head for the surface. Make contact with the UN and Swift Enterprises as soon as you can once there." Swift told his mike.

"I hate leaving you two…" Amy noted. "You sure you'll be ok?"

"We're fine, go." Bud called.

"All right, I'm headed up."

"Not too fast…" Swift called. "And watch out for Wyckcliffe and the Lermontov."

"Ok, stay dry." Amy, light tone.

Easier said than done, Bud, eyeing Tom as the water continued to rise.

The Wyckmarine hatch rolled back in the Lermontov's docking bay…Bwarry looking up at the Commander's First Officer…

"Welcome back, Mr. Wyckcliffe." The officer nodded.

"Gwreat to bwreathe the fwree aiwr of Mothewr Wrussia and hewr ex-KGB pwresident again." Bwarry, mockingly as he removed his scuba mask and clambered up on the deck from the mini-sub. Munson following, accepting a hand from another Russian sailor.

("A manly, distinguished-looking figure…Put that in, Leonard. We want to fill out my character, Dimitri." Raj, in striped sailor shirt and seacap, noted.

"I never should agreed to accept money from his mom for this thing…" Howard sighed to Bernadette, nodding reluctantly to Leonard who rolled eyes.

Right…)

…Accepting a hand from a manly, distinguished-looking Russian sailor, who crisply came to attention and saluted.

"Well, take us back to youwr leadewr, Numbewr Two or whatevewr you awre…" Bwarry, grinning as he stood on deck.

Not only Number One, but your worst nightmare if the Commander gives the order, Number One thought.

("Yeah! You think it and then tell 'em, honeypie!" Penny, raising fist.

Leonard? Versus Kripke…Wyckcliffe? Raj eyed Howard.

"What is that, comic relief?"

"Well, he has the 'manly, distinguished-looking' Dimitri to throw at him, right?" Howard noted.

Can I claim 'honeypie' as a verbal copywrite infringement on my Meemaw's 'moonpie'? a much-relieved Sheldon hissed to Amy, just out of the tank.)