A/N: This is going to be a random chapter for grins and giggles. For those of you who care: I FINALLY UPDATED MY TWO SELVES!
Also, I changed the character of the HP characters a bit. Just for the heck of it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of J.K.R's and I don't own Lester's Possum Park.
Now without further ado:
Chapter Five: A Surprised Party
"Hermione?" Cassandra called to the frizzy brown haired girl as she stretched on a couch in the common room.
"Hmm?" Hermione responded, not bothering to look up from her book, Into the Cold Fire by Lynne Ewing.
"When's your birthday?"
"September nineteenth. Why?"
September nineteenth. That was in two days!
"Just wondering."
"Ok."
Just then Helena came in with a first year, who was looking at her with full interest. "If I throw a stick, will you go fetch?"
"Would you really?" asked the first year boy. He was looking up to Helena with admiration in his eyes.
"You just won't leave me along, will you? Yah know, people like you are the reason why people like me need medication."
"Shall I got fetch your medication for you?"
"Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?"
"Shall I get you a new crayon bow?" The boy was half bowing.
"What's your name anyway kid?"
"You…you…want to know MY name?" He looked about to have a heart attack.
Helena rolled her eyes. "Yes, that would be nice."
"My name's Loofamin, your Ladyship." He actually bowed this time.
Hermione and Cassandra cracked up where they sat.
"Were your parents on Muggle drugs when they decided to name you?"
"I'm not sure. Shall I go find out?"
"Will it make you go away?" Helena eyed him hopefully.
"For a short while, but I'll be back."
"Go away, go directly away. Do not pass go, do not collect 200."
He bowed once more and darted off to get some parchment to write his parents.
"What was that all about?" Hermione asked, trying to hold in laugher.
"Yeah, it looked as if he was just a little bit obsessed with you." Cassandra snickered.
"I don't know! I ran into him, literally, on my way to Care of Magical Creatures and he fell. I helped him get up and now he won't leave me alone. I don't know what to do!" Helena sunk in a chair next to Hermione.
"Why don't you try to make friends with him?" Hermione suggested.
"Look, I don't have a cow so I don't need you bull."
"Score one for Helena!"
Helena shot daggers Cassandra's way. "I'm prettier, smarter, and way more athletic than you… need I say more?"
"Looks like Cassandra needs a band-aid 'cause she just got burned." Harry laughed and he and Ron came in from Quidditch practice.
The three girls ignored them and kept on talking.
"So, why don't you tell him to go away?" Cassandra asked.
"Didn't you just see what happened? He treated me like the Queen of Sheba! Damn him!"
"You could try telling it to him straight." Hermione suggested.
"Why are you ignoring me?" Harry said as he walked over to Helena. He wiped his dirty, muddy, sweaty hair against her shoulder.
"Ew. I'm not ignoring you; I'm selectively bypassing you and your smelliness. Which I wasn't successful at." Helena wiped the goop off her shoulder and spread it on Harry's already dirty face.
"Just what I needed, a mud bath. Thanks Helena."
"If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair."
"God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you but, hey, we all make mistakes."
"Why was I born? Why were you born? I know why I was born. I think you were a mistake. Take my advice and fix this mistake by jumping off a bridge and leave me alone." Helena stuck out her tongue.
"There are three types of humans in the world. One: Man. Two: Woman. Three: You." Harry also stuck out his tongue.
"God created man before woman. You always make a rough-draft before the final copy."
"How does that explain the third human?"
"Oh, but I'm not human, ickle Harry, I'm a goddess."
"Goddess of Evil and Misfortune." Harry crossed his arms in a know-it-all sort of way.
"Sorry, that role has been taken by Ate. She was a minor goddess. She was the Goddessof Evil and Misfortune and also the personification of Infatuation - "the rash foolishness of blind impulse, usually caused by guilt and leading to retribution. She was the daughter of Eris and Zeus. She was a temptress, and lead humans toward evil. She actually trapped Zeus once, but he would have none of that, and threw her, literally, off Olympus. She has sisters, the Litai (or Prayers), who follow her around and clean up her messes."
"Very informative. Ok, how about the Goddess of Death?"
"Taken by Brimo."
"What? No long bio about her?"
"That's all I know about her."
Hermione interrupted their verbal battle. "I think she should be Enyo, goddess of war. And you, Harry, should be Ares, the god of war. It seems fit because both of you have verbal fights."
Harry gave Helena a lopsided grin. He put his arm, which was filthy, around her and sat on her lap. "So Enyo, what shall we fight about today?"
"Let's fight about how badly you smell." Helena shoved Harry off and stood up. "Yuck! Now I smell like Harry! I'm going to take a shower and I suggest Ares and Ron to do the same." With that she left.
"She's right. You do stink." Cassandra plugged he nose. "Go away."
Ron and Harry looked at one another then shrugged. They walked away to take a shower.
Cassandra turned her chair to face Hermione. "So, what do you want for your birthday?"
"Nothing."
"Don't be such a party pooper."
"I really don't—."
She was cut off by the sudden shriek of Loofamin as he skidded into the room. "Where is she?"
"She went to take a shower."
"Very well. My Ladyship must look her best." He bowed slightly to the two girls and sat down in the middle of the floor.
The witches ignored him for the rest of their conversation.
"What's with Harry? Wasn't he always afraid of girls before? Now it seems like he wants to shag them where they stand." Cassandra wondered.
"I think Helena had an affect on him. She's the whore of the school."
Loofamin's face was priceless. He looked a cross between about to throw up, horror, confusion and admiration.
"Hey, that's my best friend you're talking about?"
"So, she is? What age did she lose her virginity at?"
At this point Loofamin got up and left the room.
"Fourteen I think."
"Would you like me to prove you wrong some more?"
"No, you're right." Cassandra sighed. Her best friend had bewitching purple eyes that could bewitch any human male.
Just then Harry jumped down the steps and started dancing. "Jazz square! Spirit fingers! Jazz square! Spirit fingers! Come on ladies! Jazz square! Spirit fingers! Jazz square! Spirit fingers! Feel the burn!"
Cassandra threw a pillow at him.
"Ow! Mother! Mother!" He ran over to Hermione. "Cassandra hit me with a pillow. Am I bleeding?"
"Harry, are you high?" Hermione felt his forehead.
"I'm high off oxygen! Or was it shampoo…? Never say never!" Harry fell on a couch.
"Hey Harry," Cassandra called. "The village called, they're looking for their idiot."
"I'll let them know when Ron gets down then. For now, the Village People are waiting!" He got up and sang and danced the YMCA.
It was a scary sight.
Helena came down as Harry had one hand behind his head and the other pointing to Cassandra. "Young man, there's no need to feel down…"
"Ahoy there Ares! I didn't know you could sing!" Helena laughed.
"Well my beautiful Enyo, you learn something useless everyday. Speaking of which; when the very first man discovered milking cows, what was he thinking?"
Cassandra chucked another pillow at him.
"You have one perverted mind." Helena laughed.
"I'm only using what I've been given."
"Before I get anymore creeped out, I'm leaving. Bye!" Hermione left the threesome.
About two minutes later, Ron came down declaring there wasn't any shampoo left.
The girl's eyes focused on Harry who grinned sheepishly and laughed like a little girl.
"Ok let's have order." Cassandra banged her fist a table.
"Yes Judge Judy." Harry said like a good little boy.
Cassandra chucked another pillow at him.
"How many of those things does she have…?" he muttered to himself.
"Hermione's birthday is in two days. Tomorrow's Friday and also a Hogsmeade day." Cassandra stated.
"I think that's a coincidence." Harry said as he ducked.
"Sorry Harry, I'm all out of pillows." Cassandra said sadly.
"But Enyo isn't!" Helena hurled a pillow at Harry's head.
"This means war!"
The two of them had a pillow fight while Ron and Cassandra stared blankly at them.
"Ok… I think I'll just tell you." Cassandra said as she turned to Ron. "I was thinking of a surprise party."
"She hates surprises."
"I know."
The two of them smiled wickedly at each other as Harry and Helena beaned the brains out of each other.
The next morning the foursome gathered in the Entrance Hall trying to avoid Hermione.
"Where should we go first?" Helena asked.
"The Quidditch Store!" Harry shouted.
"If I had a pillow, I would chuck it at you right now." Cassandra growled at Harry.
"That's just one of the reasons I always carry a spare." Helena pulled a tiny pillow out of her pocket and tapped it with her wand. It grew into a king sized pillow. She grinned mischievously at Harry, who ducked behind Ron. "I'll get you my pretty!" she said in a scratchy, high pitched voice.
She swung at his head and missed. Harry grabbed the pillow from her and hit her.
He did a small victory dance. "Good news! She's dead! The Witch of the West is dead! The wickedest witch there ever was, the enemy of all of us here in Oz is dead! Good news! Good news!"
Helena growled and pounced on him.
"That's an interesting sight." Cassandra said to Ron uneasily.
"I think we should walk around and see what stores there are. They're always putting new ones in." Ron suggested.
"Good idea." Cassandra turned to find Harry and Helena barking at each other. What the hell? "Helena, down girl. Sit stay. Good girl." Helena obeyed grumpily.
The pillow disappeared.
Just then Filch called the students to order and off they went to Hogsmeade.
"I know a way to pass the time." Harry said as he jumped up and down excitedly.
Ron and Cassandra rolled their eyes as Helena smiled sweetly at him.
"Yes, Ares, what is a good way to pass the time?" Helena asked.
Ron and Cassandra shot her a dirty glance.
"Humor him." She whispered to them.
"Ok," Harry started. "A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
"It's a period,'' said the little boy.
"Well, I can see that,'' she said, ''but what is so exciting about a period?''
''Damned if I know,'' said the little boy, ''but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself." So like my story?" Harry wiggled his eyebrows.
"It was very interesting." Cassandra said trying to smuggle laughter.
"Yes, it was… what's the word? Oh yes, it was irregularly peculiar." Ron said behind his hand so his laughter wouldn't show.
"Are you kidding me? It was hilarious!" Helena burst into peals of laughter and tears.
"I think Helena sniffed some of your shampoo, Harry." Cassandra observed.
Helena stopped laughing and stuck her nose up in the air. "For your information it's not shampoo… It's crack."
The other three laughed.
"Can I ask you a question?" Cassandra asked Helena.
"You just did."
"Grrrr."
"Ok, pop the question."
Cassandra stared at her for a minute before asking "Helena, I don't swing that way."
"Grrrr." Helena mock growled at Cassandra.
"Why are we just standing here when we could be shopping?"
Everyone looked about to find they were indeed at Hogsmeade.
"I hate it when she does that," Helena muttered to herself.
They started out with a shop called Thénardier de madame Petit Atelier de Vêtements et d'Autres Belles Articles. It was a nice little French shop owned by a French lady named Madame Thénardier.
As the students came into the shop, Madame Thénardier watched them like a hawk. She was a slightly aged woman with enough wrinkles to cover about three old people. Her white hair was neatly pulled back in a bun and everything about her was clean and crisp.
"What should we get her?" Ron asked Cassandra.
"How about something for winter? A scarf maybe?" Cassandra shrugged. Hermione was a very hard person to shop for.
"Why not?" Ron shrugged too.
They foursome searched to find a perfect scarf for Hermione. They each found one. Harry had one that had little Quidditch players zooming all over it.
"I don't think she'll like that." Helena said as she fingered it. "How about mine?" The scarf was a knitted green and black yarn one.
"Er, not to burst your bubble, but I really don't think she'll want to be labeled as a house trader." Cassandra said as her thoughts wavered to Draco.
"Ok Cassandra. Show yours." Harry urged.
Cassandra held up a plain brown scarf with little fuzzies.
"A little plain. You could do better." Helena sniffed about hers being rejected.
"I guess you won't like mine." Ron muttered as he held it up for them to see.
It was perfect. Red, gold, yellow and orange interwove with each other giving it a fiery look.
"Ron, it's beautiful." Cassandra said in awe.
"I always knew you were secretly a girl." Harry said as he clapped his friend on the back.
"Thanks I guess." Ron paid for the scarf. They friends hurried to the next shop.
It was called Blank's Jewelry. It was old and worn down. One window was cracked.
"This should be promising." Cassandra whispered to Helena who nodded.
They walked in and were surprised at what they saw. The walls were clean and perfectly… pink… Everything was neat and….pink….
Jewelry lined the walls in clear glass cases.
"How may I help you, dears?" a young witch with flaming red hair and aqua eyes asked the four friends.
"Uhh, no." Cassandra said as she stared at everything.
"Actually, you can." Helena said before the witch went away.
"Yes?" she asked.
"What do you get for a person who doesn't like birthdays, reads a lot, studies like there's no tomorrow and basically has not life?"
"That's easy. How about this?" She picked up a silver bracelet chain.
The students looked at her funny.
She laughed. "It's a charm bracelet. You add charms to it."
A chorus of "oh's" filled the shop.
"I'm sold." Helena reached for the bracelet. "All I need is about one or two charms for it, right?"
"Or as many as you like." The shopkeeper suggested.
"Ooo, good golly gumdrops!" Helena went over to a counter that held the charms and picked three out. One was a tiny book that read Hogwarts: A History on the front. The second one was a lion. The last one was tiny silver rose.
Helena paid for it all and they walked out.
"Two down, two to go." Harry said. "It's up to me and Cass to find the perfect gift. To Honeydukes!"
Harry bought Hermione a white chocolate rose, a bog of chocolate covered grapes, a bag of chocolate jelly beans, a chocolate bunny (A/N: What the hell?) and a Chocolate Frog.
His friends stared at him.
"What? You can NEVER have too much chocolate!"
"Ok Cassandra, you're the last person who needs to buy her something." Helena said as she dragged her over to a book store. "Add on to her no life. Get her a book or two."
Cassandra smiled. "For once I shall take your suggestion."
"While you go do your girly shopping, we men must do our manly shopping." Harry pulled Ron to the Quidditch Store.
The girls rolled their eyes and walked inside the store.
They leafed through book after book trying to find one Hermione might enjoy.
"How about this one?" Helena held out a book called A Ring of Endless Light by Madeline L'enle.
"Sure. Should I get her another one?" Cassandra asked as she took the book from Helena.
"Yeah. This one is huge. She'll enjoy this one." Helena held out one called Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.
"Ok, I'll pay for these and then we can gather the boys to get some food. I'm starving."
"What's this place called again?" Ron asked as he eyed the pinkness of the restaurant as they waited to be seated. Everything was covered in hearts, frills, lace and pink.
"Lo Shack di Amore. Why?" Helena answered.
"It's a lovey-dovey and stuff."
"It's The Love Shack. It's supposed to be lovey-dovey. Guys are emotionally challenged." Cassandra answered bluntly to Helena.
"Here, here. I hear ya sista!" Helena put a hand over her heart.
"Hello, would that be two separate tables or one for four." a young witch with blonde hair and a purple streak in it asked them.
"One table, please." Cassandra answered.
"I don't know." Helena started.
The young witch raised a pierced eyebrow.
"I was kind hoping for some time alone with my Ares." She pinched Harry's cheek.
"One table, please." Cassandra repeated.
"This way please." She led the foursome to a table next a couple kissing. Then she left.
"So, what do you think we should do for Hermione's birthday?" Cassandra asked as she leaned her elbows on the table.
"I don't know but my eye itches." Helena complained. She started blinking frantically. "Oh no, I am injured. My eyelash fell out in a fit of outrageous winking. I shall forever be maimed."
"I think we should throw a party in the common room and invite all Gryffindors. We could even invite McGonagall." Harry suggested.
"We could, but we could not invite her and avoid serious punishment." Cassandra said.
"Punishment?"
"Yeah, like the torture chamber or going into the Forbidden Forest to get something."
"Forbidden Forest? I've been there loads of times. There's nothing there but a pack of angry centaurs, a giant and some man-eating spiders. Nothing special."
"Or she could assign us detention."
"That old bag of bones? She's practically dead. I remember the first time I saw her. I was like 'Whoa, look at those wrinkles. What is holding this woman together?'" Helena said.
"She scares me." Ron said shakily.
"Line gelatin scares you." Helena said,
"I bet Dawn scares you too." Cassandra said snidely.
Ron hit her in the arm.
"I think there should be an opossum show." Harry said. "And the lead opossum should be named Lester."
"Why?" Helena, Ron and Cassandra asked at once.
Harry shrugged.
Suddenly the same young witch came back. "Hello my name is Electra and I have no relation to Carmen Electra and I will be your server this dreadful—I mean—lovely afternoon. What'll it be kids?"
They ordered and Electra left.
"Ok, she's on my favorite servers of all times list." Cassandra said sarcastically.
"I know what you mean. She's hot!" Harry said dreamily.
Helena slapped him, hard.
"Careful Harry, she might bring out her invisible bow and arrows on you." Cassandra warned.
"Like you would trust her with them."
"I don't trust her at all." Cassandra replied with a straight face.
"How could you, you witch!" Helena put one hand to heart and the other one over her mouth.
"Yes, I am a witch. Please give us news, not history."
There was an awkward silence for about five minutes before Ron broke it.
"Food's here." Ron said as he spotted Electra coming back with their food.
She placed it down and turned to Cassandra. "Y'know, that woman over there at the table next to you looks a lot like you. Enjoy your food." She left again to Harry's disappointment.
Cassandra looked over at the next table and gasped.
The other three turned and gasped too then burst laughing.
Professor Esmeralda Blackwood was snogging a black haired man.
"Nice way to set an example, Professor." Helena called to her.
She looked up and started laughing. "I guess that's what you get for being only twenty-two."
The man she was with turned around too. He was so familiar…
"Brett?" Cassandra gasped in shock.
"Cassandra?" Brett said in utter confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"Hello, it's a Hogsmeade day, smart one."
"Oh, right."
"You guys and gals enjoying yourselves?" Blackwood asked.
"We were until I caught my brother snogging my teacher." Cassandra replied.
"Please, I'm only a teacher at school. Here I'm a normal girl in her twenty's with my boyfriend."
"Brett's your boyfriend?" Helena asked.
"Well, actually, he's my fiancé."
"Brett, does Eve know about this?" Cassandra asked her brother.
"Calling her Eve now, eh? And no. I just popped the question about an hour ago."
"I doesn't feel right calling her Mum anymore." Cassandra said sadly.
"I know what you mean." Brett's tone matched Cassandra's.
Blackwood glanced between the siblings. "So, I think it's about time we left. Enjoy your food. Bye!" She grabbed Brett and left.
Cassandra stared at her friends before bursting into laughter. "That was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my whole life!"
The others started laughing too.
They finished the rest of their meal in laughter. They also got the planning done for Hermione's surprise party. When they were done, they head back to the castle.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"Hermione?" Cassandra asked as she went up to her dorm.
"What?" Hermione asked bitterly.
"What did you do today?"
"I read."
"You didn't go to Hogsmeade?"
"No."
"Why?"
Hermione looked at Cassandra. Her eyes were red from crying. "You guys left me. You probably wanted to pair off to go snogging. I'm just a fifth wheel. You don't need me."
"That's not true."
"Really now?" she said sarcastically.
"Hermione, you're my friend. Friend's don't hurt each other. Except when their birthday is tomorrow."
"Was that why you guys avoided me?"
"Shhh, don't tell. We bought your presents and planned a small party for you."
"I told you I didn't want anything."
"Now what kind of a friend would I be if I actually listened to you?"
"I guess you would be a friend who listens to me."
"You just have to ruin everyone's fun don't you?" Cassandra said through a smile.
Hermione matched her smile. "Yep."
"C'mon, I have a feeling we'll be able to tease Helena before we have to go to bed.
The two witches walked down to the common room to find Helena being trailed by Loofamin.
"There selling lives at the store. Why don't you go get one?" Helena shrieked at the little boy.
"Would you like me to?" he asked, beaming up at Helena.
"This kid is impossible!" Helena yelled at Harry who was sitting on a chair by the fire.
"I think he likes you." Harry laughed.
"What makes you say that?"
"Just a wild guess."
"Harry, want to be a help?"
"I'd rather snog the giant squid."
"Can you distract him while I run for it?"
"Nope."
"You conceited, arrogant, think-your-all-that, smartass, monkey boy, Quidditch obsessed, rotten, no good, dirty, rotten, pig stealing, old man!"
"Conceited and arrogant are the same things. Where did that thing about the pig come from?"
"I have no idea. It was kind of a spur of the moment type of thing. It just sounded good."
"Ok."
Suddenly Ron and Cassandra yawned loudly.
"Time for bed!" Helena shouted which mad everyone in the common room jump. "Night yalls!"
"G'night everyone." Hermione said.
"So long everybody." Cassandra waved from her forehead.
"Night!" Harry and Ron spoke in unison.
"Goodnight M'Ladyship. I hope your dreams are filled with pleasant thoughts. I shall miss you." Loofamin blew Helena a kiss which caused her to run up the stairs. The two other girls ran after her.
"Shhh!" Cassandra hushed Lavender.
"What are we doing?" Lavender whispered to Cassandra.
"Shhh!"
The three girls got out quietly from bed and walked over to the corner of the room farthest from Hermione's bed.
"We're going to decorate the Great Hall, our common room and if we have time, this room. Let's hurry." Cassandra said quickly.
"Relax. We have about six hours before she wakes up anyway. It's midnight right now in case you hadn't noticed." Helena said rudely.
"Why do I have to be involved anyway?" Lavender whined.
"You don't. We just thought you'd like to help." Helena said in a hurt voice, even though she could care less.
"I'll decorate this room and that's all I'll do. I don't want to get into trouble."
"Fine with us. Have fun." Cassandra shoved Muggle balloons, streamers and other Muggle party goods into Lavender's arms. "Good luck."
The two witches crept down the stair into the common room with their Muggle party goods.
"Ah ha!" a voice scared them from behind.
"Harry! You scared the crap out of me." Cassandra breathed deeply.
"I thought you two would try to do something without us." Harry motioned to Ron behind him. "Ron, grab hold of some of those goods. We're going to the Great Hall. Gather in close now."
They did as they were told and Harry draped his Invisibility Cloak over them.
They crept into the Great Hall and set to decorating.
When they were done, they tackled the Gryffindor common room.
"It looks good." Harry said with awe. They had worked hard until it was almost five.
"I plan on getting one hour of sleep. Night again." Cassandra said as she pulled Helena up the stairs.
"Awww girls! You shouldn't have." Hermione said as she woke up and saw the decked out room.
The walls were lined with streamers and balloons of every color. Hermione's bed and balloons on each corner. Almost everywhere else had confetti over it.
"It wasn't us. It was Lavender." Cassandra said.
"It was their idea." Lavender pointed to Helena and Cassandra.
"Thanks girls. It's beautiful."
"Now time for my present." Lavender said.
"You didn't have to get me anything." Hermione said timidly.
"I wouldn't be a dorm mate if I didn't." Lavender handed Hermione a small box with a big pink bow on it. She opened it and inside was a tiny pair of pearl earrings. "Awww, thanks Lavender." She drew Lavender into a huge hung.
"Hermione, I'm going to do your hair and make-up today." Cassandra turned to the other two. "Go and make sure they're ready." They nodded and left.
"But I don't wear make-up." Hermione protested.
"There's a first time for everything."
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERMIONE!" cries from every student (save for most Slytherins) rang about the Great Hall as Hermione walked in.
Hermione smiled and whispered to Cassandra, "I'm going to tare and feather you, skin you, then hang you and leave you hanging until you rot."
"You're a great friend too, Mione. Come on, Harry's going to perform a little "entertainment" for you." She used finger quotes for the word entertainment.
"I suppose I should be scared." Hermione said as Cassandra led her to the table.
"Just a little."
After about fifteen minutes into an embarrassment-free breakfast, it happened.
Suddenly a mechanical possum appeared between the space between the Head table and the student table.
The, it started to talk.
"Howdy there folks. Lester's is proud to present the Awese Posse Jamboree. Here it is." Then the possum vanished in a cloud of smoke. A fiddle fanfare played. The smoke cleared to reveal another mechanical possum. This one was wearing a bandanna and a straw hat. Then it began to talk.
"Howdy folks! Who's your favorite possum?"
Harry and Helena shouted "Lester!"
"Let me introduce you to the posse. Here's Beuford," a possum appeared wearing large overalls and a straw hat and a banjo. "Beulah," another mechanical possum materialized. This one was wearing a ballerina tutu and had a violin. "And Mordachai." Only half of Mordachai appeared and there were gears and wires sticking out of his head.
"Hey Lester, ready for yodeln'?" Mordachai asked as he started sparking.
"Sure am Beuford." Hillbilly music started to play and Lester started to sing, badly. "Now gather 'round my possum pals and join the jamboree. You'll hoot n howl n holler from the heart…"
Hermione banged her head on the table. "This is pathetic."
"…here at Lester's possum park! Come on folks, its yodeln time." Lester yelled as his body started smoking and his arm fell off.
Everyone laughed and some even started to yodel. Professor Dumbledore was bobbing his head and swaying to the country beat.
"Don't ya want to be hangn from a tree? We're mighty glad to see ya and the park is always free." At this point the possums began to smoke and break down. Beulah pooped an eye and Beuford's overalls fell down. "Here at Lester's pa, pa, Possum Park!"
The mechanical possums exploded in a shower of sparks, fire and smoke. The smoke spelled out Happy Birthday Hermione!
"I'm going to kill you Harry!" Hermione spat through gritted teeth.
"Cheer up Mione. I went through a lot of trouble to get that show for you. It's from the Muggle World." Harry said cheerfully.
"Calm down girl." Cassandra patted Hermione's back. "He did it for you. I'm sure Helena had a part in this somewhere. Ron and I didn't know anything about Lester's Possum Park until about five minutes before I we left. Though yesterday he did say something… It was kind of funny."
Hermione growled at her. "I'm going upstairs and I'm never coming down again." She looked about the Great Hall at the laughing students.
"Lighten up. They're not laughing at you. They're laughing with you. Only you're not joining in." Helena said brightly.
"Maybe this will cheer you up." Cassandra handed Hermione her present.
Helena, Ron and Harry did the same.
Hermione opened them in unreserved glee. "Awww you guys, you rock my socks!"
"Hermione, you're wearing sandals." Helena said as she pointed to Hermione's feet.
"Er, right. Thanks all the same." She pulled them into a group hug.
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." Harry said suddenly.
"What's a vending machine?" Helena asked.
"A Muggle device that holds candy or soft drinks. You put money in and chose which snack you want. Then you get it." Hermione said briefly. "Er, Harry, why did you say that?"
"I wanted to get your mind of the birthday greetings from Lester's Possum Park."
"Oh, that." Hermione's mood dampened. "Why did you do it?"
"I thought you would enjoy it. I was wrong."
"Yes you were and you're very sorry."
"And I'm very sorry."
"Good."
"Ya know, some people are like slinkies. They're not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when one tumbles down the stairs."
"What's a slinkie?" Helena asked.
"I have no idea." Ron said in reply.
"It's a Muggle thing." Hermione said.
"Oh," Ron and Helena said in unison.
Suddenly a live possum popped in front of Harry. "Hey kid, you own me some dough for that lovely show."
"Oh right." Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out coins. He paid the possum. "Here you go."
"Thanks. Oh and Hermione, everyone Lester's Possum Park gives you their warmest birthday greetings." Then he disappeared.
"Harry, I'm going to kill you."
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. You probably think I'm obsessed with pink, right? Wrong! I hate pink with a fiery passion that would make the devil himself jealous.
Something completely random I just have to say: I was watching Anastasia for like the billionth time and I think if Dimitri would be really hot if he was real! Random and weird but, that's me!
Translation: Thénardier de Madame Petit Atelier de Vêtements et d'Autres Belles Articles: Madame Thénardier's Little Shop of Clothing and Other Fine Goods.
I have some weird questions for you to think about:
1. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
2. Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like?
3. Why in the game of Sorry do they have Spanish instructions... yet no Spanish playing cards?
4. If something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
5. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
6. If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
7. If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest all have to drown too?
You don't have to answer them but if you really want to you can put the answers in a review!
Now click that box and review a nice and long review!
