Derek and Addison stood staring at one another for endless moment upon endless moment, each obviously and unsuccessfully waiting for the other to make the first move. "Addie," He began slowly, wringing his hands together nervously as he managed to choke out, "Are you happy?"
She looked away from him as she whispered brokenly, "How can I be happy when you're so obviously miserable?"
"I'm not miserable," he protested at once, but his words sounded hollow even to his own ears as she smiled sadly.
"You are. You've just gotten better at hiding it."
"Addie," he began again, guiltily, and she shook her head, holding up a hand.
"We want different things, Derek. I want a house, you want a trailer. I want New York, you want Seattle. I want children," her voice cracked slightly, "You never have." She closed her eyes, bracing herself to say what she knew she had to. "I want our marriage, and you want Meredith."
He opened his mouth helplessly, then shut it, shaking his head ineffectually as he whispered, "I'm sorry."
Her head snapped back as though she had been slapped and he braced himself for an outburst of some kind, an outburst he should have realized she would be too dignified to ever give voice to as she simply nodded, smiling at him sadly.
"I know you are. I'm sorry too." She met his eyes, and he saw real warmth there as she took a step forward, squeezing his hand. "We had a good time. It's over now," she said, shrugging. "I don't mean to be so flippant about it, but when you boil it down that's really all there is, isn't it? I'm… SO grateful for the happiness I had with you. And I think we're both going to be happier now."
He looked at her closely. "What are you-"
"I'm leaving for New York in the morning. The hospital was kind enough to say they'd like to have me back. I signed the divorce papers again, they're on the chair," she said with a melancholy smile, seeing the surprise in his eyes and wishing she knew another way to do it, a softer way, as she reaching up to kiss his cheek. "Be happy."
"Addison, I-" he began haltingly, unsure what he could possibly say and she smiled once more, saying with finality,
"You know me, Derek. I don't want to be second. Not in anything, but especially not in your heart. I can't keep pretending anymore."
With as much dignity as she could muster she swept out of the room, resolving not to cry until her plane left the ground.
--
Alex took a deep breath, steadying himself to knock on the door for the third time before losing his nerve once again, muttering a curse word under his breath before taking a step forward and quickly ringing the doorbell.
He waited for a long and anti-climactic moment, feeling like a fool as nothing whatsoever happened. He rang the bell again and was just about to give up and walk away when the door swung open, revealing Izzie in a robe, hair dripping around her shoulders.
"Sorry, I didn't realize-" he blurted at the same moment she began,
"Sorry- I- it didn't occur to me-" before both stopped awkwardly, offering small and halfhearted smiles as he held up a huge container of Chinese food.
"I thought you might be hungry," he offered and she cringed, saying,
"I'm not," dismissively even as she stepped aside to let him into the house. Choosing to focus on her actions rather than her words he entered, saying smoothly,
"Let me rephrase. I thought you should eat."
She nodded slowly, with a vacancy that frightened him. "Yeah." She shook her head. "The normal things shouldn't be so hard, right? It's not supposed to be painful to shower-"
"Izzie," he began thickly, feeling like his heart was in his throat, hating that he had no idea how to finish the thought, no idea what to say- "Let's eat."
--
Meredith tossed her bag over her shoulder, taking one last look around her as she prepared to leave the hospital, pausing as she caught sight of Christina across the hall. "Christina!" she called, walking rapidly over to her, lowering her voice as she asked, "How is he?"
The shorter woman shrugged, not needing to ask who she was talking about, and Meredith didn't need to look hard to see that she was on the bring of collapse "Hard to say. I'm trying not to- I can't think about it right now."
Meredith cringed. "Look, I'm heading home, but- if you need someone to talk to later, come over. I think maybe Alex-"
"I'll be here later," Christina said simply and Meredith offered her a small smile.
"Well, remember to sleep, okay?" she offered, hating that she had nothing more poignant to give in her own dubious emotional state.
"I will," Christina nodded, offering her a tired half-smile. "But you should go. I think someone's looking for you."
Meredith looked at her in confusion, slowly turning around to see Derek gazing at her intently.
I feel I must announce in fairness that this is most likely going to ultimately be MerDer. Having said that, Addie is my FAVORITE character on the show, no doubt about it, she will not be mistreated… haha, as so many of you have said in your fantabulous feedback, it's not like Derek deserves- well, really either her or Mer anyway. She will be made happy (hopefully they all will, I'm that kind of girl)
Feedback is treasured more than you know, THANK you for being so generous with it, and I will try to update again soon if people are still interested in reading more :)
