Chapter 21 - Next morning
I could hear Ezra stirring awake as I stared out the window to the city, another thing I miss about New York was the view from the apartment. Tucking my feet under me, the tears rolled down my face and I quickly wiped them away. Ezra and I were going to have to talk about what happened last night, it shouldn't have happened. There's a pretty good chance that if Ezra sees me crying, he'll think that I regret last night. Every kiss, touch… everything we had done, I could never regret that. But now I'm even more confused about my feelings for him and for Josh. Great response to Josh telling me he loves me, sleep with my ex-husband. How could I cheat on Josh, and with Ezra of all people?
"Morning sunshine, I was hoping to be up before you." He whispered into my ear, sitting in the other chair.
"You regret last night, don't you?" He asked, seeing my tears.
"No, I don't. It shouldn't have happened, but I don't regret it." I said quietly.
"Us, last night…It felt right, didn't it?" He inquired.
"Yes.. no…I don't know Ezra. All I know right is that I cheated on my boyfriend, and with my ex-husband." I told him.
He didn't say anything as he rose from his chair. I watched him as he walked to the wall, leaning against it and slowly rubbed his face. Catching his eye, we stared at one another and the guilt churned in my stomach again. I need to get out of this room, because I know that if I keep staring into his eyes…. Last night is just going to repeat and I cannot do that to Josh again, it's bad enough it happened to begin with. At least I got dressed a while ago, so I don't have to stay in this room forever with Ezra.
"We both know I would've stopped if you told me to. If my memory serves me right, you were the one who initiated it nor did you say that you wanted it to stop." He pointed out.
"Because at the time, I didn't care. All I knew is that I wanted to be with you. There's so many reasons why it shouldn't have happened, but I didn't give a shit about anything else." I snapped, he sighed and rubbed his face again.
"Where does this leave us?" He asked softly.
"I don't know Ezra." I managed as my phone beeped.
"Was it just sex for you then?" He asked and I stared at him.
"After everything we've been through, how could you actually ask that? Of course, it wasn't just sex!" I snapped.
"I would rather ask you upfront instead of it in the back of my mind, especially now that you're saying it shouldn't have happened. Obviously, you were planning on leaving first and I doubt you want to be dragging your suitcase around. I can drop it off at the loft later." He said, motioning to my suitcase by the door.
"I should go." I said quietly, walking to the door.
"Aria, I don't regret it either." Ezra called after me.
The memories of last night played in my mind in slow motion as I turned to looked at him. How his lips felt on mine, during each kiss or when his lips grazed my skin. How amazing it felt to stare into his eyes for so long, and the way his skin felt when we shared a shower…. Well, more like his shower that I interrupted. Snapping back to reality, I quickly turned back around and walked out the door before last night could possibly start over again. Right now, I'm glad we're on a different floor than everyone else. After all these years, they'd be able to just know what had happened between me and Ezra. Rushing onto the elevator, my phone beep with the reminder of Josh's text. I pulled my phone out to see what he sent.
'Why don't we grab coffee on my lunch break? How about COFFEA?' - Josh
'Yeah, COFFEA sounds good.' - Aria
The elevator dinged and I walked into the lobby as Toby walked into the hotel. Looking around for signs that will tell me where the hotel restaurant is, I caught Toby's eye and he walked over. By the look on his face, he can tell I'm upset about something and hopefully I can keep the conversation away from me and what I did last night. I quickly blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill.
"Shouldn't you and Spencer be on your way your way to Hawaii already?" I asked before he could say anything.
"We leave in a few hours; Aria I've known you for seventeen years, what's wrong?" He asked and I sighed.
"I slept with Ezra last night." I told him.
"How are you feeling about it?" He inquired.
"Confused." I responded.
"Wait a minute, why aren't you with your wife?" I asked and he held up a to go bag.
"She had a craving for some breakfast sandwiches, I told her to get some rest while I get them." He explained.
"Well go give them to her before they're cold." I told him.
"Strangely enough, that's how she wanted them…. And with pickles and barbeque sauce." He said.
"Welcome to pregnancy." I laughed.
"That's not even the weirdest so far. Pickles with ice cream and hot sauce." He said
"Oh, that sounds really good!" I said.
"Can't say it to her, but I'll say it to you… that is disgusting." He said.
Without saying a word, he quickly pulled me into a hug and I sighed. He must have somehow known that I needed a hug; I didn't even know how much I needed one until just now. I looked around over Toby's shoulder and saw Ezra carrying his duffel bag over his shoulder and pulling my suitcase behind him. There's so much to figure out now, along with telling Josh that I had cheated on him.
"Everything will work out." He whispered in my ear
"Also, since I've known you for so long; the restaurant is through that door and down the hall then the first right." He added, pulling away.
"You just heard my stomach growling." I joked as he headed towards the elevators.
"Not true, I just know you so well." He called out without turning back.
Watching Toby get onto the elevator, I quickly turned and walked towards the hotel restaurant. Hopefully, no one else will come down for breakfast; Emily and Maya managed to get their check out time changed earlier than the normal ten oh clock. I walked into the restaurant to see that the hotel had a choice of a menu breakfast or a buffet. After last night and the guilt from it, I'm not real hungry for anything that might be on the menu or really for anything. Walking along the buffet, I picked a whole wheat bagel up and some fat free strawberry cream cheese. There were different beverages to choose from, I quickly grabbed a bottle of sparkling pink grapefruit juice before I could become indecisive. I quickly scanned the room for someplace to sit and think, there was a single table in a corner and I hurried towards it before anyone else could grab it. Setting all my stuff down and taking a seat, I opened the cream cheese before quickly spreading it on my bagel. All of a sudden, Chloe appeared and sat down in the chair across from me.
"Yesterday was absolutely amazing! The fact that you caught the bouquet without even trying, maybe it's a sign that you and Josh might get married." Chloe said.
"Ezra and I slept together last night." I blurted out.
"You seemed off after Josh left, I thought something happened between you." Chloe said, seemingly ignoring what I just said.
"Something did happen between us." I said.
"What happened?" She asked, slightly concerned.
"He told me he loves me." I told her
"Is that why you slept with Ezra? Are you going to tell him?" she inquired.
"I'm not sure why I slept with Ezra last night." I lied; I can't tell her that I had wanted to sleep with Ezra.
"Besides, hiding it would only make it worse in the end, learned that the hard way" I added.
"Don't compare the two. You chose to cheat on Josh, and we both know you don't love him. You're just lonely from Ezra leaving you." Chloe snapped.
"Well guess what? Byron also chose to cheat. I feel horrible about it already, I don't need you reminding me of what a horrible person I am now." I snapped back.
Chloe didn't say another word as she stood back up and left. God, why the hell did I have to blurt out the fact I cheated on her brother like that? I doubt she will, but I'd understand if she fired me. Turning my attention back to my bagel, I started picking at it. If I wasn't hungry before, I'm definitely not hungry now. Was Chloe right? Did I really only get with Josh because Ezra left me?
….
I stared at my iced decaf coffee with hazelnut flavoring, trying to gain the courage to tell Josh. He could break up with me after I tell him, and I don't blame him if he does. Josh was going on and on about his morning at work had been, but I couldn't get myself to pay attention. What am I supposed to say to him? How am I supposed to tell him? He told me he loved me and then I ended up hooking up with my ex-husband, who he didn't want me to go upstairs with! Picking up my coffee, I took a sip and internally sighed at the fact pretty soon Josh will be dumping me.
"What did I miss after I left?" Josh asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Not much." I told him.
"You seem pretty tired, did you party until the break of dawn or something?" He inquired with a soft smile.
"Josh, I don't blame you if you dump me after this or never even speak to me again. But I need to tell you, I.. I slept with Ezra last night." I said.
As the words left my mouth, Josh started laughing. Oh god, he probably I'm joking about this! He told me not to go upstairs with Ezra and now I'm telling him that I slept with him. I just stared at him unsure what to do as he looked at me and realized I wasn't joking. Quickly composing himself, he picked up his coffee and took a sip before standing up and walking towards the trash. All of a sudden, he slammed his coffee into the trash, making me jump a bit. I bit my lip as he came back.
"This thing with us, is it what you want?" He asked.
"I – I don't know. I do have feelings for you, but everything is confusing for me now." I said softly.
"Then I guess you have a decision to make." He said.
Without another word, he walked away. I watched him as he disappeared in the people walking up and down the sidewalk, none of them aware of the scene I had created. I pulled my phone out and saw thar it was almost lunch time, maybe I should pick the boys up from Ella. I miss them so much, even though I saw them last night. Standing up and grabbing my purse, I quickly headed to my car and got in. Driving past The Brew, I forced myself not to see if Ezra was in there. As of right now, I can't fully trust myself around him… or really trust him around me. Driving in Rosewood is a lot different than driving in New York, definitely a lot less people and so much less traffic. Why didn't Josh just break up with me? I cheated on him for Pete's sake, he should have dumped me then and there! All of a sudden, I realized I was somehow already at my parent's house and parked at the curb. I quickly got out and made my way inside.
"Anybody here?" I called, walking in to see nobody inside.
"In the back Aria!" I heard my mom from the backyard and I heard the back door open.
"Mama! The tooth fairy left me a note AND two dollars!" Oliver exclaimed running to me
"Really? What did the note say?" I inquired.
"I forgot, will you read it?" He asked, giving me his puppy dog eyes.
"Yeah, come here and snuggle with mama while I read." I responded, picking him up and sitting us down on the couch.
'Hello Oliver, I heard you were hoping for $100. Your tooth is quite lovely, but I can't give just you $100. That wouldn't be fair to the other children, if I gave you $100, I would have to give every other little child the same amount and I would go broke. But, if you save every dollar and coin you could get $100 quite fast.
Sincerely the tooth fairy.'
"That was nice of the tooth fairy." I said.
….
I dumped the boys' laundry out onto the couch and pressed play for Vampire Diaries. Hardy was taking Rosie to see a movie and offered to take the boys as well, Oliver was all for it since that meant seeing Rosie and I just think Malcolm could tell I'm upset about something. At least with this time to myself, I can finally get this laundry done and keep my mind occupied from my current issues. Sorting the clothes, my phone beeped and I looked to see that it was a text from Ezra. Great, just great, just what I need right now is a text from him.
'If it's okay with you, I'm coming over to drop your suitcase off. But can we please talk?' - Ezra
'Yeah, Hardy took the boys to go see the Angry bird movie and I'm just doing some laundry.' - Aria
'Also, can you stop and get me some hot sauce?' - Aria
'Sure, anything else you need?' - Ezra
'Full sweet pickles and orange ice cream.' – Aria
'You got it.' – Ezra
Putting my phone back down, I sat down and went back to folding the laundry. I was hoping to avoid seeing Ezra so soon, but I know that we really need to talk about what happened between us. Even though we sort of talked about it this morning, it wasn't a real deep conversation. Still can't believe Josh laughed when I told him, of all the reacts he could have had, laughing was not one I thought of.
…..
Walking down the stairs from putting the boy's laundry away, there a knock at the door. I slowly made my way towards the door, why do I feel like I can't even face him now? As much as I really didn't want to face him yet, there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to. We're both adults…. Two adults that are recently divorced with two kids and two more on the way. Ok, we had a slip last night but that doesn't mean I can't face him. As I got up to the door, I opened it to see Ezra clearly as nervous as I'm feeling. He couldn't say anything as he handed me the grocery bag as I moved to the side to let him inside. I went to go put the ice cream and pickles away as he shut the door.
"Hey." Ezra said carefully.
"Hi." I responded as he put my suitcase by the couch.
"Come home… to me, I mean. We're meant to be together; you cannot deny that we're soulmates and supposed to grow old together. We're endgame Aria, and we're always going to be… even if I'm the only one fighting for it." He said, turning around.
Staring into my eyes, he slowly made his way towards me. He softly cupped my face before brushing his lips against mine, it felt just as amazing as it did last night. As I wrapped my arms around his neck, the realization of kissing Ezra and still being with Josh hit me. I quickly pulled away, turning around and covered my mouth with my hand. Damn it, was this the real reason he wanted to come over? Telling me he just wanted to talk, but really just wanted to try to get me to go home with him and forget about what I have with Josh. I turned back around and stared at him.
"What did you think would happen when you kissed me Ezra? That'd I'd just forget all about my relationship and just jump back in your arms? I have a boyfriend!" I snapped, then sighed.
"Please… just go Ezra." I said softly.
He stared at me for a few moments, before walking out the door. I quickly shut and leaned against the door as Ezra walked down the back stairs. Running a hand through my hair, I felt my heart pulling at each step he took. As much as I want to run to him… I can't, especially when I also have feelings for Josh. How am I supposed to figure out who I'm supposed to be with? Great, when the hell did my life turn into some love triangle movie?
….
Malcolm and I were setting the table as Oliver sat at the coffee table, making his birthday party invitations. He wanted to invite a bunch of his friends from day camp and soccer, I'm just hoping they'll be able to make it with such a short notice. The timer for the cookies that Oliver begged for dessert went off and Oliver ran towards me with an invitation. As I opened the oven, he got too close to the oven and I quickly stepped in front of him. He ran into my leg and looked up, seemingly unsure of how I got in front of him so quickly.
"Slow down Oliver, the oven is open and its hot." I told him.
"Your invitation mama." He said, handing it to me.
"I don't need an invitation Ollie. I'm already going to be there silly goose." I reminded him.
"But I wanna make you one." He said.
"Oh, you wanna make me one? Okay, are you making one for daddy too?" I asked.
He nodded and ran back to the rest of his invitations. I turned to the oven and quickly pulled the cookie tray out as there was knock on the door. I internally sighed, knowing it was Ezra. As much as I don't want to see him after this afternoon, I don't want to keep the boys from seeing him when they ask and they really wanted a family dinner. We should be able to have family dinners without there being tension between me and Ezra. Just as I started moving the cookies off the cookie sheet and onto a cooling tray, Malcolm opened the door and I could hear Ezra saying hi to the boys. I turned around to see Ezra coming over with a grocery bag in his hand.
"I got the boys some ice cream of their own, so they won't eat yours." He said quietly.
"Thank you." I responded.
I took the bag and placed the ice cream in the freezer. Hearing Oliver running towards us, I glanced at the oven and internally sighed of relief that it was closed and off. Quickly turning around, I saw Oliver had run to Ezra and nowhere near the oven. Ezra kneeled down and Oliver gave him his invitation, I know there's one invitation and I'm not sure how Ezra's going to feel about the person the card is for possibly coming to the party.
"Here you go daddy!" Oliver said excitedly.
"I get my own invitation? Thank you lil man, I'll RSVP as soon as I can!" Ezra said happily and Oliver turned to look at me.
"That's what you posed to say." He told me.
"I'm sorry baby, I'll do better next time." I promised.
"Do I even want to know?" Ezra asked, trying to hide his amusement.
"Told him I didn't need one, since I'm already going to be there." I explained as Oliver went back to the coffee table.
"Well, now you know what to say next time." He joked
…..
Malcolm was helping Oliver with his birthday list as Ezra and I were going over everything for the party. We had called my parents, Paul, Heather, Caleb and the girls about it and they all said they'd be there and that they all wanted a birthday list. Of course, Ella told me that if she thinks Oliver didn't have any input on his birthday list that she would buy every toy that could possibly give me a migraine.
"How will nana get her invitation?" Oliver asked, looking at us.
"We can mail it, but we may also want to call her since we haven't in a while." I told him.
As I avoided looking in Ezra's direction, Malcolm whispered something in Oliver's ear and pointed towards the kitchen. They quickly got up and pretty much ran into the kitchen. We watched Malcolm pull out their ice cream and Oliver got all the topping for sundaes out of the bottom cabinet. I think Malcolm sense that we were about to talk about their grandmother and he knows the history we have with her unlike Oliver, who has no knowledge.
"Nana?" Ezra quietly asked.
"I tried telling you multiple times, but you refuse to even acknowledge your mother…. Which is understandable given your history with her." I started rambling nervously.
"Aria." He said giving me a look, one that I knew too well.
"I ran into your mother before my freshman year ended. She saw Oliver, realized that she was wrong for claiming you weren't his father and apologized. Then we started visiting more and more, now we try calling her a couple times a month." I explained.
"My mother, Dianne Amelia Springer Fitzgerald apologized… and to you?" He asked shocked.
"Not sure which part is more shocking to you, but yes to both." I responded.
"That's… that's not how I meant it, my mother apologizing to anyone is a shock to me." He quickly apologized.
"I know and I'd be just as shocked if I were in your shoes, knowing your history with your mother. If it's any help, I asked her if she was feeling alright when she apologized." I said, receiving a chuckle.
We didn't say anything as we turned our attention to the boys, who are covered in whatever it is that they put in their sundaes. Which means tonight is definitely not going to be fun when Oliver hides from his bath, he used to love baths but now he'd prefer to stay dirty. Looking at Ezra from the corner of my eye, the memory of our kiss earlier popped back in my mind. As much as I wanted to melt into it, I knew I couldn't do that to Josh again.
"No bath tonight mama." Oliver said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Nice try. Oliver, you were playing in the dirt at grandma's and now you're covered in ice cream and who knows what else…. You're getting a bath tonight." I told him, giving him a look.
"Aw man." He said defeatedly.
….
Later that night
Sitting on my bed, I opened my nightstand drawer and picked up mine and Ezra's wedding photo. There may be history with me and Ezra, but I'm not the same person I used to be. Years ago, maybe even during college I would have dropped everything to be with Ezra… but I have to consider my feelings for Josh as well. I quickly placed the photo back into the drawer and closed it before getting into bed. The tears brimmed my eyes as I stared at the ceiling, I kind of wished the boys weren't here just so I could cry without having to worry about either of them hearing. All of a sudden, the doorknob turned and Oliver walked in holding bubba.
"What are you doing up Ollie?" I asked.
"I want cuddles." He told me.
"Mama can use some cuddles too." I said, blinking away my tears.
He quickly scrambled onto my bed and snuggled up to me. I brushed some of his hair away from his face and kissed his forehead, watching as he slowly fell asleep. Within moments, I could tell that he was fast asleep by his breathing. I remember the first few days after bringing Oliver home from the hospital and staying up almost all night, just to watch him sleep. Then after Alison was arrested, there were so many days that I'd stay up and go between Malcolm's room and Oliver's old room because I was terrified of Alison escaping and coming after them to get back at me.
AN – Aria's in a love triangle, what do you think is going to happen with it? And chapter 23 will have some new faces, will they be good or bad? Let me know what your guesses are! I'm going to try and get chapter 22 posted as soon as I can, but I can't promise a date or how fast I'll be able to post it. But things are only starting to get crazy in Rosewood, you won't want to miss it.
