OMG… If you haven't read ch. 59 of Kuroshitsuji yet, then GO! They finally showed undertaker's face! And the whole chapter was just so frickin hilarious! XD. I hope I didn't just put in too many spoilers…

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That Butler, Omnipotent4


'thoughts'

"speech"

[speech heard over telephone]

{setting/stage directions?}

*sound effect*

An entire sentence like this, without quotes, is narration for dreams or stuff like written letters.

=†=†=†=†= scene shift/time shift

={John Doe's end}= is a shift in perspective during a phone conversation that's still within the same scene.


Previously:

"My, my." Sebastian said, snapping Chêne out of her daze. She blushed furiously when she realized she and Mei-Rin were sitting in his lap.

'When did that happen!" Chêne thought. She tried to move away, but realized that she was still being held in place by Sebastian, who pretended not to notice

"Mei-Rin, the letter." That seemed to snap Mei-Rin out of it too, and she blushed a deep red. "Eh! Ah! Here it is." Mei-Rin said as she handed it over.

"What's it say?" Chêne asked curiously.


"This invitation possesses not an ounce of grace." Sebastian said, revealing nothing. If she wanted to read it the right way, it meant she would have to lean up against Sebastian, and she knew that he was doing that on purpose to annoy her, so she settled for reading it upside down. It read:

If you want your master back, bring the goods to Buck's Row in Whitechapel.

'Oh, great, it's a ransom note.' Chêne thought darkly. 'Whoever kidnapped Ciel is in for a world of hurt.' Chêne cracked her knuckles.

"Hey! Hey!" Bard shouted as he and Finni burst into view. "What the hell's going on!?"

"You've all collapsed! Are you all right!?" Finni yelled in concern. Sebastian stood up, bring Chêne and Mei-Rin to their feet with him. Poor Mei-Rin had already turned to mush and collapsed as soon as Sebastian let go. The bespectacled maid was too out of it to stand on her own after her close encounter with Sebastian, the stud-muffin.

"It was nothing, we are fine." Sebastian said.

'Well, in a manner of speaking…' Chêne thought as she glanced at Mei-Rin, passed out on the floor. Chêne noticed that she had a few minor cuts from the glass herself, but nothing major, and Mei-Rin would be fine once she woke up again.

"Forgive me for asking, but might I leave tonight's dinner preparations to you?" Sebastian said calmly to Bard.

"Sure that's fine, but…" Bard said, a little confused about what was going on.

"I have a tiny bit of business to which I must attend." Sebastian replied calmly, giving nothing away about Ciel's current status as a damsel in distress. "And please take care of this as well." Sebastian held the pie out for Bard to take from the serving tray, which he did.

"O…kay?" Bard said, confused as he took the pie. Finni and Chêne were trying to revive Mei-Rin from the puddle of goo she had been reduced to.

"I shall return by dinnertime." Sebastian said as he tucked the serving tray under his arm, and turned to leave.

"Hey, wait!" Chêne called after him as she jumped up to follow him. Chêne still wanted to talk to him about something. Bard stared at the pie.

"Nn? Take care of it means… I can eat thi—huh? Sebastian?" Bard said. While the chef had been preoccupied with the pie, Sebastian and Chêne had seemingly disappeared.

=†=†=†=†=

* VROOOOM! *

A car was speeding away from the manor.

"Sorry, I missed." The sniper said nervously as he talked to Vanel on his 'portable telephone' that looked suspiciously like a cell phone.

={on Vanel's end}=

"You what!? You useless idiots!" Vanel yelled as he kicked the table frustration. Was there no good help these days? "This is why trash like you—! You bastards are finito! Get back here right now!"

={on the hired gun's end}=

The driver saw a flash of something black out the corner of his eye. "Hang on. Something's coming our way." The getaway driver said as her checked the rearview Mirror. "!!!" The driver yelled as he paled in fear.

={Vanel's end}=

[What the hell is thaaaaaaat!?] The sniper yelled over the phone.

"!?" Vanel said as he flinched. The scream was so loud, he had to hold the phone away from his ear. "What, have you seen a bear or something?" Vanel laughed.

={Hired gun's end}=

* SCREECH! *

"Uwaah! Aah!" The driver and sniper screamed as the mysterious figure chasing them gained speed. Whatever it was, it was catching up.

={Vanel's end}=

"What's wrong with you? Are you guys too high!?" Vanel asked, a vein throbbing on his forehead.

[Go faster!] The sniper yelled as Vanel heard the screech of tires over the phone.

[We can't!] The driver yelled back.

={Hired gun's end}=

"No! It's coming!" The sniper screamed. He was scared out of his mind.

[Hey! What is!?] Vanel shouted. [Don't fuck with—] Whatever was chasing them was right behind them now.

"It's Co—!"

={Vanel's end}=

"Cut it out, you bastards!" Vanel yelled angrily into the phone.

[It's no use! It's here…!] The sniper yelled as a hand reached out to grab them.

[Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!] They screamed as the car crashed. There was a heavy silence on both ends of the phone now.

"…H-Hey?" Vanel said warily into the phone. This was going too far to just be considered a joke now. "Hey! What's going on!?" Vanel yelled into the phone.

"Heh!" Ciel laughed as he smirked. Vanel stared down warily at Ciel, who was still lying on the floor. Ciel continued to chuckle darkly as he said, "It would seem that your game of 'fetch' was a failure." A chill went up Vanel's spine.

"Shut up! You miserable little braaat!" Vanel yelled, kicking Ciel again. Vanel was getting so freaked out, he was breaking out in a cold sweat. "Hey! Give it to me straight, or I'm gonna kill you mutts! HEY!"

[Hello?] A smooth, deep velvet voice said into the phone.

"—!!!" Vanel said as he was filled with a cold dread in the pit of his stomach.

={The hired gun's , no, Sebastian's end}=

"Hello? I am a servant of the Phantomhive family. Sebastian said as he held the sniper's portable phone to his ear.

={Vanel's end}=

Vanel was shaking now, and the cigar fell from his mouth as it hang open in shock.

[Might our master be there?] Sebastian said politely.

"…!" Vanel said as he shivered in fear.

[Hello? Is something wrong, sir?] Sebastian asked with mock concern. You could practically hear the butler's smirk in his voice. The phone was shaking in Vanel's hand as he grit his teeth and struggled to answer. There was something about the voice on the other end of the phone that filled him with fear and dread…

"Woof!" Ciel barked from where he was lying on the floor. Vanel's eyes widened as he turned to stare at the bloody and beaten boy.

={Sebastian's end}=

The butler smiled.

"… Understood, Sir." Sebastian said.

={Vanel's end}=

[I shall be there to collect you straight away. Please be patient for just a little longer.] Sebastian said, hanging up. Vanel stood there in shock as he listened to the dial tone of the phone. Ciel glared at Vanel and spit on the floor.

=†=†=†=†=

The phone snapped shut as Sebastian closed it after hanging up on Vanel.

"Thank you… for allowing me the use of your telephone." Sebastian said calmly as he kneeled on the hood of the car. The getaway car was now balanced precariously on the edge of a cliff. The hood of the car that Sebastian was sitting on, was on solid ground, held in place by Sebastian's weight, and the back half of the automobile was hanging over the edge of the cliff, in the air. That was the end the sniper and the driver were sitting in, naturally. It had been such a lovely vehicle with a convertible top and everything, but now…

"There are a few things I should like to ask you as well… If I may?" Sebastian said, smiling his shit-eating grin. The two henchmen were too stunned to do anything other than shiver in fear. "First, I would like to know the name of your master." The two men kept silent. "Come now. I fear patience is not one of my virtues." Sebastian said as he driver's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Surely you do not wish to become… 'Humpty Dumpty'?" Sebastian asked, smirking.

"…!" The sniper flinched. "The Ferro family's Azzuro Vanel! Their hideout is in the Northern part of East End!" The sniper cried out of fear of death. Sebastian stared at the two men for a moment, determining the validity of that statement. He grinned.

"I see." Sebastian said as he pocketed the portable phone.

"… Ah!" The sniper cried as the car shook. "We were… J… J-J-Just hired by him…" The sniper said nervously as the car creaked and wobbled on the edge of the cliff.

"Oh? Is that so? In that case, I do apologize for holding you up." Sebastian said as he stood back up on the hood of the car. "Please… Have a safe trip." Sebastian said as he bowed and leaped back, off of the car. The car immediately rolled backwards, off of the cliff. The two men in the car stared at him in horror as they felt themselves falling, too shocked to scream. Sebastian stared back emotionlessly at them as he watched the two humans fall to their death. Sebastian turned and started to walk away as the plume of heat and smoke from the explosion shot into the air.

"Sebastian!" Chêne called. Sebastian turned to see her riding up on a horse… Well he had been running at approximately 30 mph. Chêne was only human, so she couldn't have hoped to catch up to him on foot. "Are you going to get Ciel now?"

"No, I just fancied taking a stroll." Sebastian said, giving her a shit-eating grin. Chêne scowled at him and dismounted from her horse.

"I'm being serious! I know how scary it is, being kidnapped. It happened to me when I was six. Someone kidnapped me and held me for ransom. If my dad hadn't come for me, I'd be dead right now. The kidnappers were only willing to wait for two days before they decided to try to kill me. I think the gun they used to shoot at us sounded like a submachine gun. These guys aren't playing around, so be careful, okay?" Chêne said.

"Oh, you can identify the weapon?" Sebastian said. Chêne had already mentioned before that not only was her father a military man, but he also had a hobby of collecting guns. Chêne had watched her father play with them at the firing range since she was young, and had even fired a few. However, this was the first time she had mentioned her being kidnapped to him, and Sebastian decided he would have to find out more about it later.

"Sort of, I can only tell you it sounds similar to a Tommy gun. It's a type of submachine gun that was invented in 1919, and it's basically a combination of the automatic fire of a maxim gun with the cartridge of a pistol." Chêne said. "But it could just be something that sounds similar… How many shots did you count?"

"He shot at us for one minute so… about 600 rounds per minute." Sebastian said. Chêne nodded.

"That sounds about right for a later version of the model... Geez, if there are already machine guns before WWI even starts, I'm scared for the future…" Chêne mumbled.

"Did you just say something about a world war?" Sebastian asked, slightly surprised. He knew humans were greedy and foolish, but to begin a war that involved the entire world…

"…Uuuh… please pretend you didn't just hear that." Chêne pleaded, sweat dropping.

"Understood." Sebastian said as he walked away. Chêne sighed in relief. "We shall discuss it later." He said, turning back and giving her a positively radiant shit-eating grin. Chêne really wanted to punch him.

"Whatever, smart-ass!" She huffed indignantly as she shoved a box roughly into his hands. "This is what they're after right? I figure you might want it in case you needed a bargaining chip." Sebastian looked at the box in his hands and smirked. It was the 'game' Chlaus had delivered to Ciel the other day when they had to create the Japanese stone garden. Although it looked like an ordinary children's game, its true contents were far from it. Chêne really was much more clever than he gave her credit for. "And don't try to play it off either." Chêne said sternly. "I know you guys try to keep me out of Ciel's business with the queen most of the time because it's dangerous, and I don't have super powers, like you, but I'm not stupid. I read the subtext of the Conversation between Ciel and Chlaus that day. Normally I would insist you take me with you, but since I know I'd just get in the way… I'll stay behind like a good little girl. Just come back safe and in one piece… both of you." Chêne said as she mounted the horse and cracked the reigns. "Yah!" She cried as she rode off back to the manor 'Western' style, like a cowboy, instead of sidesaddle like a proper lady. Sebastian shook his head and smirked as he watched her go.

"The Ferro Family—…" Sebastian said as he flipped open his pocket watch and checked the time. "Oh dear. Just look at the time… I must make haste, lest I be late for dinner." Sebastian said calmly.


A few notes:

1) The maxim gun is like an early version of the gattling gun that was invented in 1884... I think... so it would've already been invented in our normal timeline, which is why i had Chêne use that to make a comparison.

2) For those of you who might still remember... in one of the very first chapters, Chêne said that Ciel reminded her of herself at 'that time'. That was her referencing her own experience when she was kidnapped and waiting for someone to rescue her. Don't worry, it'll be explained more later on in the story.