Could you look me in the eye,
And tell me that you're happy now?
Would you tell it to my face,
Or I have I been erased?
Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take
And left me with an empty plate
And you don't care about it
Yeah
And I'm giving up this game
And leaving you with all the blame
Cause I don't care
Could you look me in the eye,
And tell me that you're happy now?
Would you tell it to my face,
Or I have I been erased?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?
Do you really have everything you want?
You can never give something you ain't got
You can't run away from yourself
Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now?
Are You Happy Now by Michelle Branch
"Fred? Are you all right?"
"She's gone." I managed to croak out.
I knew George's eyes grew bigger without even looking at him. "Hermione left?"
"She ended it. She didn't want to be in a relationship anymore." I told him.
George sat down on the step next to me. "But I thought you said everything was going great?"
"It was." I snapped. George knew not to take offense to it. We understood each other. We never fought.
"Fred, it will be okay." He said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
"She just throws seventh months down the drain! Like that! Like a thirty minute conversation with Ron can just swish all that away!" I growled to no one in particular.
"Ron talked her out of it?" George asked. "And you were together seven months? And who the hell uses the word swish?"
"Hold on there partner, you only get twenty questions." I growled, not looking at him but staring at the lines in my hands, trying to remember something that Trelawney had once told me about palmistry. I don't know why that suddenly crossed my mind, but it did.
I thought about what George had said. No, not the part about the word swish, all though he did have a point there. George normally makes pretty good points, or at least better points than I do. Okay, now I'm getting off topic. Back to what George said. Well, the other thing George said. Merlin, this is getting confusing. Okay, now I'm talking about the part where he asked if Ron had talked her out of it.
"RON!" I said, abruptly jumping to my feet. "HE TALKED HER OUT OF IT!"
"Fred…"George warned.
"Excuse me; I have a murder to commit." I said, pushing past him.
"Fred, I'm coming with you!" George called after me, hurrying down the path to catch up.
I spun around. "If you're going to try and stop me then just stay here. If you have any ideas on how to hide the body, then by all means, join me."
Ronald Billius Weasley was a dead man.
I didn't know where I was headed. I still hadn't quite wrapped my head around what happened. Fred and I broke up. We broke up.
How could I have not seen this coming?
Oh, that's right, I couldn't see it coming because I was being stupid. Very stupid. What the hell was I thinking dating Fred? I was dating my ex-boyfriend/my ex-best friend's older brother. That was a freaking formula for disaster from the start.
"Lavender?" I called when I apparated into the apartment.
"Hermione?" Seamus answered. "What's wrong?"
"Lavender?" I repeated, not quite sure why.
"Hermione?" Seamus said, emerging from Lavender's bedroom. "She's not here. Are you okay? Did you just apparate? You look upset. You could have splinched!"
"I'm fine Seamus, all body parts accounted for." I mumbled wearily before dropping down on the sofa.
"You are about as fine as I am patient." He said, sitting on the coffee table across from me.
"You must be very patient." I unknowingly replied. "You are engaged to Lavender."
Seamus laughed, even though we both knew Lavender was the only person he was patient for. Dean always joked that that's how Seamus knew she was the one.
"What's wrong Hermione?" He asked, sinking onto the sofa next to me.
"I broke up with Fred!" I wailed, throwing my face into Seamus's chest, soaking his sweater with my tears. "It's over!"
"What?" Seamus asked, sounding quite bewildered, whether from the shock of the news or the not knowing what to do with a crying girl, I'm still not quite sure.
"I ran into Ron and-
"You ran into RON?"
"Yes, would you keep up?"
"Weasley, there's some Weasleys over there!" A tall, dark haired guy yelled to Ron, pointing at George and I with his beater bat. Stupid tall dark haired guy. He wouldn't have lost the girl; the girls always go for the tall dark haired ones.
"Who-" Ron yelled back, stopping when he realized that it would be easier for him to just turn around and look at us, rather than trying to force the dark haired moron to remember which freckly red haired brothers we were. Although now that I think of it, it should have been pretty easy. After all, we are the only ones that are identical.
Ron looked at us and appeared (for once) to instantly know what was going on.
"Topher, I need a break." Ron called, to the dark haired one.
"Which arm?" Topher laughed. Tall, dark, and handsome he might be, but funny he is not.
"Give me twenty, 'kay? We've got some family issues." Ron replied, walking away from Topher.
"Ooh, wait til the tabloids get wind of this," Topher teased. Topher. What a stupid name. It sounds like gopher. And you never hear of anyone talking about how great gophers are. Now, Fred is a great name. It sounds like red, bed, fed, and bread. A lot of people like the color red, everyone is always glad to be going to bed, everyone's happy to be fed, and people are always talking about how it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Oh, Fred way outranks Topher.
"Shut up, I think you have a drunken wedding toast or two that you pray will never make it to a newstation. And I know for a fact that Lance has at least two out of the three on film." Ron snapped. Since when was Ron so good with retorts?
Topher huffed towards the stands where a leggy blonde was leaning against the wall, leaving Ron, George, and I alone.
Ron folded his very freckled (it was the end of summer, mind you, every Weasley had quadruple the amount of freckles they had started off the summer with) arms across his chest. "Well, what are you two doing here?"
"Don't play dumb." I said. "What the hell happened?"
"What are you talking about?" Ron repeated in a slightly varied version.
"HERMIONE, YOU MORON!" I screamed, knowing very well that now stupid Topher and his blonde chick were watching.
"Oh, you mean my ex- fiancé?" Ron snarled.
"She would have only been your ex- fiancé if she had said yes to your proposal." George stepped in to point out the legalities of the situation.
"Big difference. We were close enough to being engaged."
"Obviously not, or else her reaction to your question wouldn't have been to flee." I growled back.
Ron turned a brilliant shade of scarlet.
"What did you say to her?"
"I mean, we are soooo wrong for each other." I told Seamus.
Seamus swallowed the food in his mouth. "Really?"
"I mean, look, what did we have in common-" I said, waving my hand around quite majestically.
"Well, you both love grilled cheese, you both are stubborn as hell, you both have kind of unruly hair-, you both say-"
"SEAMUS! SEAMUS! RHETORICAL QUESTION!"
"Oh, sorry. Continue."
"He breaks rules, I make them, he leaves his bathroom towels on the floor for days, everything of mine has a place. He's perpetually late, I'm usually early, except for when I'm with him. I've become such a bad person since I've been with him." I said.
Seamus's eyebrow raised in his trademark way. "What?"
"Look, I was never late for anything until I was with him. I had never called it sick before, he made me do it. I never left the apartment with the bed unmade. I never ate cereal for dinner, let alone eating it, sitting on the kitchen counter, and following it up with Bertie Bott's, I mean that sugary cereal he eats is practically dessert itself. And then there's-"
"Mione! Listen to yourself!" Seamus said, waving his spoon, flinging a little chocolate chip on the living room wall. I cringed. "You are making the most pathetic excuses ever!"
I collapsed into a kitchen chair. "Seamus, I still love him."
"Well, that's good. I would have questioned your relationship if you could have gotten over it in six hours."
"Did you break up?" Ron asked. "Not that I care."
"Bullshit." George said.
"Just tell me what you said!" I growled, knowing very well if the little twerp didn't start talking soon, I'd finish the night in Azkaban being held for his murder.
"What we talked about is none of your damn business!" Ron surprisingly yelled. He sounded so angry, that even nosy Topher thought it would be better if he left the field. Him and bimbo blondie headed indoors to the team VIP guest room.
"She was my girlfriend! And you upset her! I think I am well within my rights!"
"Was? So she broke up with you?' Ron asked, with a tiny smug.
Damn it, I hadn't meant to say that. Fine, whatever. "Yes, we broke up."
"No, she broke up with you." Ron so tactfully pointed out.
"Fine, phrase it however! Just tell me what the fuck you said!"
George grabbed my elbow, as if this loose grip would hold me back from pounding the living daylights out of Ron. But I understood what he meant by it.
"I told her that you two weren't right! Are you happy now?" Ron said, once I had one hand on his shirt collar. (Okay, I said I understood what George meant, I didn't say I agreed with it.)
"Why would you say that, just because you're jealous-"
"WHOA- Jealous? Of your train wreck of a relationship? You have got to be kidding me?"
I walked away from Ron with an alarming level of satisfaction as he clutched his stomach, lying on the ground. Figure out if I'm kidding now, Ron.
I could hear Lavender laughing from the other room. I hadn't told her yet and asked Seamus not to either. I didn't want her to give up her date tonight to mope with me. She was wound so tightly lately with her wedding plans, the big day was only a little over a month away, she needed some time to relax.
Seamus had talked to me for so long earlier that he hadn't left himself anytime to cook dinner for him and Lavender like he had planned. She had spent the day with her mother in London. He ended up ordering a pizza, rather than the pasta he had planned. I was not going to ruin anymore of their date.
So, that leads to me sitting here in my bedroom, with a stash of sugar cookies and some good old fashioned dvds. But none of them were right. Life as a House? All the non-sick people had great relationships. That one was out of the question. Mean Girls? She got the guy in the end. My Best Friend's Wedding? There's the freaking word wedding in the title!
After a good half an hour of dissecting and degrading every movie in my possession, I ended up just lying in my bed, my feet touching the head board, my head at the foot of the bed. Normally, this would drive me crazy, but I just didn't have any motivation to actually move.
What on Earth possessed me to listen to Ron? When has he ever been right in the past?
Well, I guess last time he was right, was when he said I would never marry him. Of course, I think he meant that I would never settle down with anyone, not even him, but still his thought is right on the surface face anyway.
And Ron did make some good points this time. I mean, Fred and I are opposites. He is tall, I am short. He is funny, I'm well, you've talked to me, you know. He is sweet and loved, I'm bitter and destined to be alone forever.
Alone.
Ron was right. That's just what I am destined to be. I hurt the people closest to me, before they can hurt me. I am incapable of being in a relationship, platonic or romantic. I mean, look I barely have any friends
There's Ginny. Oh, how many times I have messed things up with her? She didn't want me to date Ron; I did, that bothered her. I told her not to date Harry, I told her I wasn't sure that he was into her, unbeknownst to me at that point they had been dating secretly for several months. She sure didn't like that comment. And there was that one time when I lost her at the concert. I broke up with Ron and didn't talk to her for several months. That flew like a lead penguin. Now I've messed up things with Fred, so I probably won't talk to her for at least a few weeks.
Seamus. He's great. We get along fairly well, but we'll both admit that the only reason that we stay so close because of Lavender. I'm her best friend; the one he runs to when he wants to know what she has been hinting at for her birthday or the one that listens to Lavender after she's gotten mad at him and won't tell him why and then later tells him because he is honestly in the dark and wants to fix whatever he did to upset her.
Lavender. Well, Lavender and I are great, but we haven't always been. School was pretty much just us putting up with each other when we had to. And now her life is changing dramatically. She's getting married. She's no longer my girlfriend, she's Seamus' wife. That responsibility will come first. Sure, being a friend comes before being a guy's girlfriend, but being a guy's wife comes way before being a friend. Lavender is practically my sister and I'm losing my roommate and my best friend all in one fell swoop come October 13th. I'm sure we will keep in touch and see each other all the time, but little by little, we will drift apart, when she wants to do couple-y things with Seamus and her other coupled friends, when she has kids, and she has PTA meetings and quidditch practice. She'll probably be at their graduation before I ever walk down the aisle.
Fred. Why did I do it? Why did I even start anything with him? I am a moron! A moron who is incapable of relationships; or basically anything outside of work. And I'm barely capable of that at this point. TV personality, what was I thinking? What the hell I am thinking anymore?
Suddenly, there was a though interrupting shout, "Mione! The doorbell's for you!" Lavender called from the other room.
I trudged out to find Seamus and Lavender snuggled together on the couch, Lavender laughing at something that Seamus said.
I went farther down the hall to the door bell monitor, glad that Lavender couldn't hear me. "Mione?" the speaker box croaked.
Fred.
"We need to talk."
I swallowed, not knowing what to say. "Fred, it's over."
"Why?" He whined. "What did I do?"
He sounded like a four year old that wanted to know why he was in trouble.
"Fred, we wouldn't have worked out in the long run. It's better that it's over." I struggled to say. I knew I loved him, but I knew that what I said was true. Eventually we would come to a plateau, the plateau where I wanted to mature and where he wanted to party. The inevitable plateau.
"Hermione! I want to talk this out! Let me in."
"No." I said, knowing this was for the better.
"Then come out."
After what seemed like an eternity, she emerged from her apartment building. She was wearing her cute grey sweatpants and one of my tee-shirts. What she called "her bumming around" clothes. My tee-shirt. That was a good sign.
"Mione."
"Fred, I want to say something and I want to say it without you interrupting me. This relationship is over. You did nothing wrong, but let's just face it, this isn't going to work out. You need freedom, I need stability. We are still as different as we were at Hogwarts."
"Mion-"
"I said no interruptions. I do not love you anymore. It is over. Go back with Verity. I am through."
"Anymore?" I said. That meant she loved me. "No one gets over loving someone in fourteen hours."
"Then I guess our relationship wasn't that strong to begin with." She snapped.
That stung. Now I was pissed.
"So you don't love me in the least?" I said.
"Nope." She answered, folding her arms across her chest.
"Our time together meant nothing?"
"It was fun. I'll give you that. But that's all it was, Fred. Fun. You are not the commitment type. You are the summer fling type."
"We had a seven month long summer fling? Because honestly I never remember any summers being seven months long."
"You know what I meant Fred. Don't give me that."
"You are telling me that you don't care for me anymore?"
"Yes. That's what I am saying. That's another thing I hate about us. I have to repeat everything for you four times before you get it."
"I didn't have you repeat it for my benefit. I just wanted to see if you'd lie to yourself again. Guess I was right."
"I am not lying to myself."
"Then I really mean nothing to you?"
"Yes!"
"Then ask yourself this; why are you wearing my shirt?"
She said nothing.
"Well, I hope you're happy now."
I stood outside her apartment building for a long time after she stormed inside. Long enough for me to see the sunrise. Long enough for me to watch a couple come home from a party and to watch them kiss good bye as they headed their separate ways for who knows whatever in the morning. Long enough to narrowly avoid being nailed in the head by an owl delivering the morning post.
Long enough to realize that maybe I just wasn't sure I wanted this anymore. She fucked it up, she could fix it. I'm done with it.
Sorry for such a long wait. I know that excuses don't help, but this has been one hell of a year for me and I wish that I would have been able to update sooner. It was my first year of college, a life changing experience to say the least, my grandfather passed away as well, one of my best friends moved away to New Hampshire. To say the least, finishing the stories wasn't really on the top of my list. Right now, I am currently working two jobs and taking summer courses, but shockingly enough, my schedule is much lighter, so hopefully I will be able to update much more frequently. I am about halfway through the next chapter of Hanging By a Moment, a story that I would really appreciate feedback on. I have a few new story ideas too, but I promised that I would not start those until I finish at least one of the ones I currently have in the works. More to Life has a few chapters left, not quite sure how many, but I have the story lightly mapped out, an ending is in sight. Thank you so much for reading and for the feedback. I can no longer answer any reviews in the chapter, but feel free to im me or leave a message on one of my webpages, I'm always up for chatting. Hope your summer is off to an awesome start.
Lots of love,
Preppy in Pink
