a/n: hey guys. sorry about the FOREVER it took me to update -- i've been a busy girl lately. that, and a bad case of writer's block and lack of peace around here. ok before you read this, the little angsty sara bit coming up is mayyyybe a little too much? yes, no? I for one can see it happening but I don't know what you'll think. feedback please.
oh and sorry for all the typos im a sucky proofreader. and all the spacings (or lack thereof) just happen and are unnavoidable. sorry!
A whole week…
Sara pounded along the beaten path, arms pumping and head ducking at low hanging branches. The hot Nevada sun beat down on her, proudly standing above the mountains on the horizon This was her daily ritual. Since she didn't sleep much during the day, she'd go out for jogs before it got dark and before she had to return to her nocturnal job on graveyard shift.
She'd drive out to the forest area near Henderson and just run. She liked feeling powerful, her slim but strong legs propelling her forward, moving at her own will. She'd run to live, run to breathe, run to think. And think she did.
Grissom and I had that talk a week ago, and nothing's gone down yet…She thought, putting an irregular step in her rhythm to jump over a hole in the dirt path. Grissom said he waned to take things slow, but so far, nothing had happened since he'd driven her home from the hospital.
Should I make the first move? She thought, running harder in pent up frustration. Grissom's personal, and not good with people. Should I wait for him? How long should I wait? Like for heaven's sake, he said he wanted to do something…So why isn't he?
They saw each other at work, but other than that, they'd seen nothing of one another. Grissom seemed to be avoiding her around the lab, talking to her only when he had to. If she was in the hall and he didn't need to talk to her, he'd hurry off to his office, pretending to read a piece of paper. A usual Grissom trick; pretend you're busy and no one will bug you.
He'd gone and said that he wanted to do something about their rocky relationship, but no--he'd retreated back into is introverted shell like a hermit. It was typical Grissom. One step forward and three steps back.
What if he's having second thoughts? Sara worried, plowing through overgrown weeds and plants, sweat glistening on her skin. This is just gonna make things worse. It's just gonna make us more torn apart than we already are.
Remembering back to the Debbie Marlin case, she thought of Grissom's face those harrowing few days. Catherine had even expressed her obvious resemblance to the victim, although Grissom dealt with his observations in a different way. He had gone around with a face that, although rare, was full of emotion.
Sara's brow knitted as she pushed even harder. Her running shoes kicked up dust and rocks as she remembered seeing Grissom in the interrogation room, unknowingly confessing his feelings for her. He'd been talking to Dr. Lurie, Debbie Marlin's killer. He looked defeated, sad, regretful…
"It's sad, isn't it, doc? Guys like us. Couple of middle-
aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives…"
Hmph, that's exactly what you are, Grissom, Sara thought, now angry at him.
"The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our
latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really
lived at all."
Sara felt a little anger leave as she remembered Grissom saying those words. Had he really woke up one day and thought that?
"Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody ...we could care about. She offers us a new life with her ...but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her."
Yeah, and we all know that you're not great with decisions involving yourself, Grissom. Sara thought, the anger flooding back. Hot tears were burning in her eyes, threatening to fall out and mingle with the dust on the path.
"I couldn't do it ..."
Damn right you couldn't. The tears fell, disguised as they mixed with her sweat. Still, she kept running as if her life depended on it. Who knows, maybe it would someday.
I wasn't worth it…Sara thought, tears streaming down her face, her heart sending angry blood coursing through her body. She couldn't see anymore, the tears and the sun blinding her.
And for a moment, he made me believe that I was.
She stumbled on a rock, sending her flying along the path. She caught her balance just in time. Staggering off the path, she felt her back hit a tree and she slid down to the ground. Breathing hard and feeling the tears on her cheeks, she put her hands on her knees and stared up into the tree's branches.
Grissom's a coward. He's…he's…the single most annoying, introverted, pig-headed, dumbfounding, hypocritical man I've ever met! She lifted both hands to wipe her face.
When she took them away, she noticed a small blue butterfly floating along through the bushes..
Then again, he's also the single most sexy, incredible, passionate, intelligent man, too…Why is it always like this with him? Up, down, up, down…Why can't we just get on with our lives together? She thought to herself.
Because that'd be too easy. With a wry smile to herself, she stood up, leaning on the tree trunk. She wiped her face with her shirt, still watching the butterfly's flight. It reminded her of Grissom; his graceful passion, the intricate makings of his existence. The deep blue of the butterfly's wings matched that of his startlingly intense eyes…She became transfixed by this tiny creature of beauty.
It was so fragile, so vulnerable, yet so strong willed and free. Grissom had once told her that the single beat of a butterfly's wings in the North Arctic could start a tropical storm in Brazil. Like this butterfly, Grissom could start a whole chain reaction. But without a little breeze, the butterfly probably couldn't fly. But with a gale force wind, the poor delicate creature would be destroyed.
So then and there, Sara realized that all Grissom needed was a little bit of a push. Not too much, but not too little. And hopefully, with the right plan, she could get him to fly.
He got to work at 6:30pm, half an hour before shift started. Nodding to Judy, the receptionist, he made his way to his office, preparing for the night ahead. He sat in his office, dark as usual, leaning back in his chair.
He loved his office. Some people thought it was a little hermit-ish, but he liked it. It was always cool, dim, and waiting for him to come and release all of his emotion into it. He'd go there after a particularly hard case or when he was stressed, or for no reason at all, just to sit, relax and simply be.
He grudgingly started looking through assignment slips, his mind going thorugh the regular complaints of being a paper pusher. It was evil how the graveyard shift were expected to just carry on after Nick's incident.
Well, life does go on, I suppose…He thought sadly. It had been a week since he and Sara had had that chat in the hospital. And truth be told, he had backed off. He was scared. There were so many things he was scared about. His job, their age difference...Hurting Sara...As much as he desperately wanted to be with her, he was still holding back.
Sighing, he reached down and opened one of his drawers, hoping to extract his report from the previous night's case, but intsead, he felt his hand close around a small rectangluar box. He pulled his hand out and saw that he was holding a black box with the gold writing of a local store's name along the lid.
Curious and ever the scientist, he inspected the outer surfaces of the box, wondering how he had aquired this object in his desk. He brought it up to his ear, shaking it, prompting itto give up a clue to it's contents. Slipping on his glasses, he carefully slid off the lid of the box. A piece of paper fell out and went almost unnoticed as he stared at a beautiful watch, glinting in the dim light of his office.
He picked it up out of the box, studying it as if studying evidence. He realized that it wasn't ticking. holding it up to his ear, he heard nothing. He pulled and pushed the little wind up nib at the side, resulting in no effect whatsoever. The watch just wouldn't tick. He figured that the battery must be broken or missing.
Who on earth would leave a broken watch in my desk? He wondred to himself, running a thumb over the glossy surface of the watch face. The background was a metallic blue; the hands a shiny silver. Then his eyes fell upon the note that had fallen from the box. Having read many reports in this penmanship, or rather penwomanship, it was very recognizable.
Grissom,
"Time is the reef upon which all our frail mystic ships are wrecked." - Sir Noel Coward Blithe Spirit
I know I once said that one dayit could be too late. Now it's impossible. I can't turn back time, but I can try and make the best of what's going on now. I hope you can too.
Love, Sara
Grissom sat back in his chair and fingered the watch. Turning it over in his large hands, he spotted something ingraved on the back of the watch. Hie eyes squinted and then reopened wide in curiosity. On the back was written: "Tempus fugit".
Time flies.
Grissom smiled to himself, slipping on the watch. Of course, Sara had to remind him about time. And it was true. Time did fly; and Grissom was going to fly with it.
a/n:ohhhkay. well this story had sooo much potential and I think I botched it. I suddenly wishI hadn't done what I did with the last chapter. and as for this chapter, I have no idea. no idea where this is going, because its gone in a totally different direction than i meant it to go. not its getting a little sentimentally cheesy. and yes, i have a thing about metaphors. pleeeease tell me if its too cheesy. I hate when things end up cheesy. But then again, i can see some of it happening. hopefully next chapter wont be as bad. wow i write long authors notes. im gonna shut up now.
