Lily awoke with a start and a gasp. Her eyes were sore from crying and her hair was a thick, wild mess of tangles. But what scared her the most was that she had been sleeping in the arms of none other than James Potter. She glanced at him, sighing with relief when she saw he was sleeping peacefully. She tried to pull away but in his sleep he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist.
Lily rolled her eyes and slumped against him before shaking her head. She tried to remember everything that had happened up to her falling asleep, but all that came to her mind were bits and pieces.
There was a sobbing girl behind a bookcase. A boy coaxing her out. He said all the right things. She kissed him.
Oh, god.
She'd kissed him.
It was this sudden realization that caused Lily to burst from the hold James had on her. She fled from the room and ran through the hallway and out of the castle. She didn't know if James was awake or following her. She didn't care. She collapsed at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, burrowing her head into her knees.
Lily inhaled sharply, trying to calm herself down and stop herself from hyperventilating. She wasn't going to cry, her eyes hurt too much and her heart was too full and confused. She exhaled, her breath shaky. She had two boys who felt strongly for her. She had two boys who would no doubt lay down their lives for her.
And she couldn't live with it.
"But what can I do?" She murmured out loud. She fingered a strand of tangled hair, pulling one of the many knots apart.
James had woken up to find Lily gone. He smiled, thinking of how well she'd fit against his chest.Lily had kissed him. He couldn't get the moment out of his mind. It just kept replaying in his mind like a movie.
She leaned forward, her eyes shining with tears. Her lips touched his softly, almost hesitantly. She kissed him tenderly, placing a shaky hand on the back of his neck.
He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her back. She pulled away and looked at him with cautious green eyes.
"You are too much, too soon and too…too…" She whispered before leaning in again and kissing him.
James pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her. The fit together, as if they were two pieces to an incomplete puzzle.
"I'm too what?" He asked between kisses.
Lily pulled away for a brief moment, the look of complete uncertainty still hovering in her eyes. "You're just too you."
And they went under again.
James ruffled his already messy hair and stood up, stretching. Night had fallen over the castle. The moon was shining and the Room of Requirement was glowing. He grinned boyishly before exiting the room, ready to go out in search of Lily.
He slipped through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. Sirius and Remus were the only two up, both were sitting on a couch by the fireplace looking at textbooks.
"Sirius, you read?" James asked teasingly.
Sirius made a face, slamming the book shut. "Not normally. Remus had me convinced for a moment there that studying was actually a good idea."
James raised his eyebrows, honestly surprised. "Are you sick?"
"No, just confused." Sirius kicked the book off of the table clearing a space for him to rest his feet. He eyed James suspiciously, undoubtedly aware that something was up.
James rested back on his elbows, the smug grin not melting off his face.
"All right, just tell us," Sirius laughed, throwing a pillow at his friend. "Don't sit there acting all pompous and superior, just tell us whatever amazing thing happened while you were out."
James caught the pillow propped it behind him. "I did the unthinkable boys," he said. "I kissed Lily Evans, and not by my choice."
Sirius's jaw dropped and Remus's normally tired grey eyes grew wide.
"You're a liar! A bloody liar!" Sirius stammered.
James shook his head, his black hair not breaking free from it's messy form. "I'm telling the truth."
"No you're not!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing a finger at him. "Every time you lie, a fairy dies. Think of the fairies James!"
James laughed, beating Sirius over the head with the pillow. "I really did! And the best part was that she kissed me first!"
"So you're telling me she's just dropped McCormick?" Sirius narrowed his eyes, clearly protective for his friend's wellbeing.
James shrugged. "I'm assuming so, he wasn't exactly a main topic of the conversation."
Remus glanced at Sirius, returning the worried look already forming on his face.
"Prongs…" Remus began, slowly closing the textbook he'd been studying.
James rolled his eyes. "Mooney, it's not worth the energy."
Remus shrugged, flipping back to whatever he'd been reading. "Fine."
Sirius whirled around to the portrait hole as it slightly opened. He narrowed his eyes, listening to the quiet conversation of whoever was ready to come in.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, more seriously," said the voice of Lily Evans.
James and Sirius snuck around to see Lily kiss Stephen McCormick on the cheek before she swung open the portrait fully, almost knocking them both over.
"Oh," She sighed, crossing her arms and looking at the floor.
James stared stoically at her, any signs of happiness melting away from his impassive expression.
"I don't want to talk about it," she muttered, kicking at the plush carpet with one bare foot.
"Well good, because nobody wants to talk to you," Sirius snapped, stepping in front of James.
Lily's head shot up, her green eyes suddenly blazing. "I don't think this has anything to do with you, Black."
Sirius stepped closer to her, filling the gap between her and James. "I think it does because when a two-timing whore makes a move on my best mate…"
"I'm not a two-timing whore!" She hissed.
"Not breaking up with your boyfriend and kissing another guy? I call that being a two-timing whore!" He snarled into her face.
Lily laughed sarcastically. "What is it you always say? Hate the player, not the game?"
"So it's all right for us to hate you then, is it?"
Lily stomped to the edge of the girls staircase. "I'll probably return the favor."
She hurried up the stairs before sneaking a glance at James.
He met her eyes but the emotion she saw in them was unexpected, causing her to inhale sharply.
Regret. His eyes were full of utter and total regret.
And the only thing she could feel was shame.
