I own nothing but my OC.
That Butler, Trick or Treat 4
'thoughts'
"speech"
"Demonic speech"
{setting/stage directions?}
SOUND EFFECTS
An entire sentence like this, without quotes, is narration for dreams or stuff like written letters.
=†=†=†=†= scene shift/time shift
Previously:
"Long story short, my husband beat the crap out of those terrorists, and saved our Chêne. The terrorists were handed over to the Louisiana branch of NCIS (a government agency that is like a Naval version of the police), and they shut down the entire terrorist cell. It took a while for Chêne to recover from watching Jasper die, and being kidnapped, but as you probably know by now, nothing can keep her down for long. That's why my husband wanted to name her 'Chêne.' So she'd grow up to be strong and dependable, yet still as flexible and playful as the live oaks in the New Orleans' City Park that Chêne loved to play on as a child!" Pomona said, smiling brightly.
{Meanwhile, at Target, with Chêne and Lacey...}
"... Let me get this straight..." Lacey said, staring at Chêne as she watched her friend flip through the boys shorts, looking for Ciel's approximate size. She figured she wouldn't need to get Ciel pajamas, since he hadn't actually had a chance to change out of his pajamas before they were spirited away by the armoire. "... You only let your mom think that you and Sebastian were an item because you don't want her to know that the real reason why you can't stay with us is because Sebastian is a demon, and he basically made you immortal, in order to keep you from dying, but in return you have to drink his blood, or you'll turn into a homicidal maniac...?" Lacey said, raising an eyebrow at Chêne. "You really outdid yourself this time, didn't you? What are you going to do next, ascend to godhood?" Chêne sweat dropped.
"Don't jinx me, please. With the way my life's been going, anything is possible..." Chêne said, smiling wryly. "Besides, can you imagine me as a goddess? I mean 5'2" of weirdness isn't even good supermodel material, let alone goddess material."
"Yeah, having to listen to people whining about their wants and needs, and having to perform miracles all the time sounds like a pain in the ass too." Lacey said, smirking.
"True. I have my hands full just keeping up with Ciel and Sebastian... those guys are just as reckless as you, only Ciel is a danger magnet." Chêne said, laughing as she tossed Ciel's new outfits in with hers and Sebastian's. Chêne had decided to buy a ring to cover up the mark on her finger so that she wouldn't have to keep wearing gloves, and she had gotten a pair of black fingerless gloves for Sebastian, because they wouldn't look as strange as his white butler gloves would, and they would cover up both of his marks (her dad would not appreciate the pentacle on his hand). They could always just say that his nails were black because of fingernail polish, since that would be totally believable in this world. In fact, Chêne was a little surprised by how few people were actually starting at her and lacey, since she was still in her maid uniform... Well, it was the day before Halloween, so that probably helped.
"Heh! And you aren't?" Lacey asked, grinning.
"The kind of trouble I attract is usually just stuff that could win me an award from America's Funniest Home Videos... Ciel's trouble is more like in the Die Hard movies, where he's taken hostage every now and then, and Sebastian has to pull a few Bruce Willis stunts to save him, only he's a powerful demon, so it's more like a nuisance to him rather than a tense action film..." Chêne explained, sweat dropping.
"I see your point... but I gotta say, if all demons are as hot as Sebastian, then maybe I should become a Satanist..." Lacey joked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Chêne.
"Please don't." Chêne said seriously. "I at least want to know you and family are safe. Getting mixed up with cults and demons isn't as glamorous as you'd think, okay?" Lacey pouted.
"Okay, fine. I'll stick to being Catholic... you happy?" Lacey asked her, smiling wryly.
"Very~!" Chêne said, smiling brightly at her sassy friend. "Let's go pay, and get back before my mom starts showing them the photo album that has that awkward baby picture of me butt-naked on a bearskin rug..." She said, sweat dropping.
=†=†=†=†=
{12:00, military time—The LeBeau residence}
"Oh, I almost forgot~! I put all of Chêne's most embarra—I mean, cutest photos in this album." Pomona said, holding up a forest-green, leather photo album. "There's one of her naked on a bearskin rug~ She has the cutest little baby butt~!" Pomona said, smiling brightly as she started flipping through the album to find said picture. "Ah, here it is~! Look, Sebas—"
"Over my dead body, PomPom...!!" Chêne cried as she suddenly burst into the room, and snatched the album right out of her mother's hands before she had a chance to show them the photo. She had managed to make it just in time, thanks to Lacey for finding her family's spare key so that they could let themselves in. "You know I don't like you showing this one to people! Why the heck do people want pictures of their naked babies on furs anyway!? Is it a caveman thing!?"
"You should just do what I did to all my baby photos a long time ago, and torch that sucker." Lacey said, smirking as she walked in with their shopping bags. "We can just go back out, get some lighter fluid, and—"
"Hah! I already anticipated an attack like that, and had all the non-digital photos scanned into our computer, and burned to multiple CDs~!" Pomona said, smirking victoriously. "I even have a copy in our safety deposit box~!"
"Curses, foiled again!" Lacey said, snapping her fingers in an 'awe shucks' kind of way.
"Yep. That's what happens when your mom is the wife of a Marine... she learns to always be prepared... especially when you don't want her to be." Chêne said, sweat dropping.
"Oh, you're just saying that~!" Pomona said, smiling shyly (?) as she blushed.
"It's about time you got back." Ciel said, chagrined as he walked over to Chêne. "Where are my clothes?"
"Who shoved a stick up your ass, Shorty?" Lacey asked Ciel, frowning at him in disapproval. "I thought you Brits were supposed to be sophisticated. Where's our 'please' and 'thank you'?" Sebastian had to stifle a laugh as Ciel turned an interesting shade of red.
"Wh-What did you just call me!?" Ciel demanded indignantly, vein mark throbbing on his forehead. Chêne sighed.
"Can't you two just play nice? Do I have to sick Sebastian on you, Lacey?" Chêne asked, smiling wryly as she shook her head at them.
"..." Lacey said as she stared at Sebastian for a moment. "Eh, why not? He can jump my bones any day~!" Lacey said, smirking mischievously.
"L-Lacey—!" Chêne said, blushing at Lacey's racy comment about Sebastian.
"Haha, don't worry, Chêne! I wouldn't try to steal your fiancé..." Lacey said as she leaned in closer to say the next part into Chêne's ear. "... Especially since I can tell you really do like him~!" Lacey whispered, smirking like a Cheshire cat.
"!" Chêne said, her blush deepening as she glanced at Sebastian. He smirked at her, letting Chêne know that he had indeed heard that part.
CHAK.
"Honey, I'm home—" Cpt. LeBeau started to call out as he opened the door, and stepped into his new house. He froze when he saw who was sitting there in his living room, blinking in surprise. He looked relived to see Chêne, however... When he saw Sebastian, he narrowed his eyes and glared at the demon butler. Sebastian wasn't really surprised after Pomona's warning, and although he knew this was Chêne's father, and that he should probably 'play nice'... Sebastian wasn't one to just back down from a challenge like that. There was a burning competitive edge to both of their auras as Sebastian stared back calmly at the Marine, neither of them showing any indication of backing down.
'What the hell are you doing, Sebastian...?' Ciel wondered, sweat dropping. What were those two so fired up about?
"Daddy...?" Chêne asked, glancing cautiously at her father. He hadn't said anything to her yet, and she was starting to worry that he might be angry with her... not that she could really blame him after all the worrying she must've put them through after suddenly disappearing like that. Chêne's father gave Sebastian an 'I'll deal with you later' look, and turned to face his daughter.
"I'm sorry, Dad, are you ma—!?" Chêne squeezed her eyes shut, surprised when her father, Cpt. Jean LeBeau, suddenly flicked her in the forehead. Hard.
"Of course I'm mad. You suddenly disappear while we're on vacation, in a foreign country—I thought we'd lost you for good, you little idiot! You ever do something that stupid and dangerous like that again, and I'll have you drafted into the Navy faster than you can say 'SOS'!" Cpt. LeBeau scolded his daughter sternly. "That said... welcome home, Acorn." He told her, pulling Chêne into a firm but gentle hug.
"... I'm home, Dad." Chêne said, smiling happily as she hugged her father.
"Kodak moment~!" Lacey said, grinning as she took a photo of them with her cell phone.
"Ah, Lacey. I see you found the new hiding place for our spare key... again." Cpt. LeBeau deadpanned. Lacey smirked at him.
"How could I call myself the 'LeBeau Family Stalker' if I couldn't do something as simple as climb a tree, jump onto the roof, and remove a spare-key that had been duck-taped to the inside of the gutter? I'm a freakin' ninja, remember, Jack? There's a reason I took gymnastics with Chêne when we were younger~!"
"Wait... what?" Ciel asked, raising an eyebrow. They were going through that much trouble to hide their key? How did they even get it up there in the first place...?
"It's like a little game they play. Lacey finds our spare key, and lets herself in to our house... My dad hides the key in another spot... Lacey finds it again... It's been going on for years now, ever since Lacey accidently managed to break his antique Smith and Weston Colt revolver with pearl inlay in the handles (the type John Wayne had)." Chêne said, sweat dropping.
"Some people collect stamps, I collect guns." Cpt. LeBeau said, shrugging. "And don't call me 'Jack' you know it pisses me off. Just call me Cpt. LeBeau or Sir." He told Lacey, furrowing his brow slightly in irritation at her.
"Oh, come one~! 'Jack' is the perfect nickname for you!" Lacey said, grinning impishly, as she patted Cpt. LeBeau on the back. "Your first name is Jean, which is French for John, and Jack is a nickname for John. Plus, 'Jacks' is what they called sailors in back in merry old England, right, Ciel?" She said, winking at the boy.
"Don't try to drag me down with you..." Ciel said, sweat dropping.
"Anyway, I'll stop calling you 'Jack' when you stop calling Chêne 'Acorn.' Do you know how embarrassing that nickname is? Who wants to be called a nut? And an inedible one at that?" Lacey said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Acorns are edible if you cook them right." Cpt. LeBeau retorted. "And Chêne's my daughter. I can call my children whatever I want."
"But you call Laurie 'Princess'... not that I want Chêne to have a sissy nickname like that, but why couldn't you give her a normal one, like that?" Lacey challenged, raising an eyebrow at him.
"... Lacey... if you'd been paying any attention all theses years, you'd know that my dad doesn't mean 'Princess' as a compliment. He only calls her that when she's being a pain in his neck. It's sarcasm." Chêne said, sweat dropping. Pomona nodded in agreement.
"She's suck a picky child... I don't know how she turned out so spoiled... She acts just like my mother." Pomona said, shaking her head. She sighed wistfully. "If only she had taken after her father in personality, as well as looks..."
"Anyway..." Chêne said, turning to Ciel and Sebastian. She handed the bag of his and Ciel's clothing. "I think it'd be best if we changed into our new outfits now, since it's lunch time, and we'll probably be going out to eat, right?"
"Yeah. You definitely can't go out like that." Cpt. LeBeau said, sweat dropping, as he looked at the three of them in their Victorian clothing (or in Ciel's case, pajamas).
"I already did, thanks to PomPom and Lacey..." Chêne said, sweat dropping.
"..." Cpt. LeBeau said as he stared at his daughter with a pitying look of understanding. "It's been hard on you." He said, patting her on the head.
"No more than usual." Chêne said, smiling wryly.
"You boys can go change in the room with the armoire, if you'd like, and Chêne can change in Laurie's room." Pomona said, smiling brightly as she pulled Chêne off to show her younger sister's new room.
"I'll go too~!" Lacey said, grinning like a Cheshire cat, as she moved to follow them.
"I think not." Sebastian said at the same time Cpt. LeBeau said,
"I don't think so." The Marine and demon butler both reached out and grabbed Lacey by one of her arms, restraining her, to keep her from spying on Chêne while she changed. The two men stared at each other for a moment.
"Hmph." Cpt. LeBeau said as the two men smirked at each other. "Looks like we at least agree on one thing. You're not so bad... but I still won't just hand my daughter over to a devil like you." Sebastian blinked, feeling slightly surprised. This man was sharp... did he already figure out what Sebastian truly was...? "I thought you were just a player, but it seems you're more than just that... So I'll give you a fair warning now—If you make Chêne cry, I'll cut your heart out with a spoon and feed it to you, capisce?" The Marine said darkly. Sebastian could tell from the look in the man's eyes that this was not just an empty threat... It was a promise. Sebastian smirked. This man had guts to talk to him in such a way.
"I would deserve no less." Sebastian replied coolly as he stared back at the man. Cpt. LeBeau stared at the demon butler for a moment longer, before holding his hand out to Sebastian.
"Welcome to the family, then." Cpt. LeBeau said, as they shook hands. Ciel sweat dropped. He was glad that the two of them had come to some strange understanding, but...
"Why a spoon...?" Ciel asked curiously. "Wouldn't a knife be better, since it's easier to cut with?"
"Silly Ciel, that's the whole point." Lacey said, grinning evilly at him. "It'll hurt so much more if he cuts his heart out with something blunt, and it'll be excruciatingly slow." Ciel grimaced. He decided it would probably be for the best if he stayed on Lacey and Cpt. LeBeau's good side...
=†=†=†=†=
"Whoaaa~!" Chêne said in amazement. Her eyes were sparkling as she stared at the vast assortment of Asian food before her. They had decided to try the new Super Asian Buffet restaurant that had just opened a few weeks ago in Covington. "Are those manju I see!?" Chêne asked excitedly, resisting the urge to drool. After seeing them in anime and manga, Chêne had always wanted to try one.
"Hahaha, I knew you'd appreciate that!" Lacey said, grinning.
"Manju?" Ciel asked curiously. He had never seen so much Asian food in his entire life before.
"It's a Japanese meat bun! Come one ya'll, let's go hit the buffet~!" Chêne said excitedly as she and Lacey pulled Ciel with them as the rushed to the buffet.
"My, my~! I see Chêne's still quite the little glutton~!" Pomona said, smiling, as she, her husband, and Sebastian calmly followed after the two girls and Ciel.
"You're the one she gets it from..." Cpt. LeBeau said, sweat dropping.
"True." Pomona said, smiling brightly as she heaped food onto her plate.
"You should try the General Tsao's chicken, Sebastian. They make it really tender here, and the spice is just right." Cpt. LeBeau recommended as he added said dish to his own plate.
"Thank you, I believe I shall." Sebastian said, smiling his trademark shit-eating grin as he added some to his own plate. Chêne had asked him to pretend to eat in front of her family, since they would definitely be suspicious of he didn't. It wasn't that Sebastian couldn't eat, he just found no pleasure in it, since his tastes lied else where...
"I think you'd like the fried rice and honey-garlic chicken, Ciel." Chêne said as she added it to his plate for him. The steamed dumplings look really good, too~! Lacey, do you see any good vegetables?"
"Meh, there's not really a big selection of those, but they make really good veggie tempura here." Lacey said, shrugging.
"Oh, I think I'll have some of that~!" Chêne and Pomona said, completely in sync with each other. Ciel sweat dropped. They were definitely related, no question about it.
=†=†=†=†=
"So, Ciel... I hear you're in the toy industry?" Lacey asked casually as she used her chopsticks to pick up and eat a sushi roll. "Make anything particularly awesome lately?"
"Not particularly, no..." Ciel said, furrowing his brow in frustration as he struggled to use his chopsticks, much to Sebastian and Lacey's amusement.
"Excuse me!" Chêne called out to the waiter, who had served them their drinks, as he passed. "Could we please get a knife and a fork?" She asked the man politely.
"Sure, dawlin', be back in a jiffy!" He said, smiling pleasantly at all of them.
"Thank you, Chêne." Ciel said as he set down his chopsticks, glad he wouldn't have to fool with the ridiculous things anymore. Although it was Chêne's job to serve him as his head maid, he had realized it was just easier to say 'please and thank you' rather than being nagged by Lacey... Who would have thought someone who looked and acted like such a ruffian would be so mindful of such a minor detail...?
"Really? Why not?" Pomona asked curiously, continuing his conversation with Lacey.
"The latest toy designs that my company's 'creative' team sent to me the other day were positively dull." Ciel said, frowning, as he recalled the 'lame' designs, as Chêne had so aptly described them.
"They've been in a creative slump lately... Maybe they need a vacation?" Chêne suggested. Ciel frowned in disapproval.
"Why should I reward them for incompetence?" Ciel asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"I've told you before, Ciel. Creative minds need a change of pace every now and then, so they can refresh themselves—otherwise, they grow stagnant and rot." Chêne explained for the umpteenth time as she sipped her coke.
"Ooh... Listen to you, using fancy words like 'stagnant'~!" Lacey said, smirking. "You're getting all sophisticated on me, Chêne. Ah, Tish, you know I love it when you speak French~!" She said, waggling her eyebrows suggestively at Chêne. Chêne and her parents laughed at Lacey's silly impression of Gomez from The Addams Family, but poor Ciel and Sebastian just glanced at each other, totally not getting the reference.
"That totally went over your prim and proper little heads, didn't it?" Lacey asked them, sweat dropping.
"Don't feel too bad, Lacey. They never get my jokes, either." Chêne said, smiling wryly.
"Huh, that's too bad... Chêne here is a comedic genius when she tries." Lacey said, smirking.
"That's what Undertaker said when I accidentally ended up inside of one of his coffins..." Chêne said, sweat dropping. "That hadn't really been on purpose though..."
"..." Lacey and her parents said as they stared at her for a moment, picturing it... oddly enough, the image that appeared in all their minds of what had happened was spot on.
"Damn. I would've liked to have seen that in person." Lacey deadpanned. Chêne and Ciel sweat dropped. Is that all she really had to say on the matter?
"That certainly sound like our Chêne~!" Pomona said, smiling, as Cpt. LeBeau nodded in agreement.
"But who's this 'Undertaker' guy you mentioned? Is he an actual, honest-to-goodness undertaker, or is it an alias?" Lacey asked curiously.
"Undertaker is Undertaker." Chêne said. "It's his profession, so people just call him 'Undertaker'... Come to think of it, I have no idea what his real name is..." She said, glancing at Ciel.
"I do not know it either. Undertaker has been working with my family since my predecessor's time as the Phantomhive family head." Ciel said.
"He's been working with you for that long, and you never bothered to find out his name? Slow much?" Lacey deadpanned at Ciel. A vein mark throbbed on his forehead. Lacey was really getting on his nerves.
"Whatever the case, you'd definitely like him." Chêne said, smiling at her friend. "He keeps bone-shaped cookies in an urn, has miscellaneous jars of embalmed organs, and he seems to have a hobby of performing 'autopsies' on his 'clients' for fun."
"Sounds hot." Lacey said, smirking. "Maybe he and I should hook up, or I can at least get some pointers from him or something~!"
"Pointers...?" Sebastian asked, raising an eyebrow. Pointers for what? Lacey was already strange enough, in his opinion.
"Well, I'm studying to be a coroner, so talking to someone who has experience doing autopsies could be useful... like how far back I should stand incase of blood splatter when I'm saw through a person's skull, or—"
"Lacey... not while we're eating." Cpt. LeBeau said, nodding at Ciel, Chêne and Pomona. They looked a little green around the gills.
"Haha... eating with Lacey is probably the best method for portion control if you ever want to go on a diet, huh, Chêne?" Pomona joked, smiling wryly.
"Yeah, she'll kill your appetite every time..." Chêne said, smiling wryly as she sweat dropped. Cpt. LeBeau sighed.
"Check, please." He told the waiter as he passed.
=†=†=†=†=
{On the way back to the LeBeau residence, riding in Cpt. LeBeau's Ford Explorer...}
"Hey... I just had an idea." Lacey said suddenly.
"Really? Only one?" Ciel asked, smirking.
"Silence, you vertically challenged dwarf, I'm about to do you a favor here!" Lacey snapped at him.
"D-Dwarf!?" Ciel said incredulously, vein mark throbbing on his forehead.
"Since 'Grumpy' over here is having trouble with toy ideas, why don't we go to the mall in Slidell, and let him look in the toy stores. He might learn a thing or two while we're there." Lacey said, totally ignoring Ciel.
"... But won't that negatively affect the time line if he invents something that shouldn't exist in that time period because of it?" Cpt. LeBeau pointed out.
"Oh, but they're from an alternate universe remember, Honey? Even if that does happen, it won't have any affect on us~!" Pomona said, smiling.
"Wow, PomPom... way to be responsible..." Chêne said sarcastically, sweat dropping.
Author's note:
I posted a pick of Chêne, Ciel, and Sebastian in their new outfits on my profile. I'm lazy, so Ciel and Sebastian's modern outfits will just be the ones they wore in the ova about 'the making of Kuroshitsuji.'
