Disclaimer: I own both Daniel and his babysitter. I do not own Stand By Me (I wish) – that belongs to Stephen King (why doesn't he share! cries). I'm not making a profit on this blah blah blah…you guys know the drill by now :P

Plot: The plot is fairly unsimple…I know…I like my complications… Babysitter is slightly retarded…she doesn't have a condition or anything but she just does stuff without realizing it…and speaks her mind…which you can see into on the little 'daydream' or 'dream' bits I might put in with certain chapters. Daniel is a girly boy…I've never experienced a girly boy…so be warned…things aren't accurate in my writing land world place… And these two characters end up not in 'Stand By Me' the movie…but that world…so yeah…

Author's Note: Well. For those of you that are reading my other two SBM fics – I have a bit of a writer's block on both. And they're both sort of at cliffhangers which is horrible and poo. I hate myself too, so don't worry. I plan to get them both back up and running soon. So cross your reading little fingers okay dudes? So this fic is just going to be poured out basically because it's on my mind and I figure if I get this done…relatively quickly for me (which I would say is about a year) then I'll be able to get AOH and AASI back up then…Bwhahaha! Only joking. I should get them back up pretty soon. And another thing: I have finally got a fic up on Hooray for me! And the male character is based on David from Lost Boys…sexy and yummy…so go read that too all you Kiefer fans (that means you too Sara! Aka dissolved star aka another Louise – yes, we do rock don't we?)! My name is PixieFool on it and the fic is called 'Dark Prince'

Don't ask about the Babysitter's story…because I really don't have an answer…

#Chapter One: The Babysitter#

"Once upon a time, my hairy Auntie Lee lived on a tall peak. She was always wrapped up in her scarves and shiny hat. She lived with her green cat called Hong; He drank milk from Cal's dairy farm in England. They also lived with Paul the skinny Canary; He only ate his shrewd worms when he was wearing his special flip-flops. They were talking about the cost of things.

'I do believe that we should buy a computer,' stated Paul.

'We have talked about this before, a computer simply costs too much.' My Auntie Lee sighed.

'Well, it is a magnificent creation. It's supposed to cost a lot of money,' argued Paul.

'I think the universe is the most magnificent creation.' Hong yawned as he scratched his bulging lime-green belly.

'But you can't buy the universe,' whined Paul, stamping his left twig-like leg.

'I bet you could buy the universe for a lot less than a computer. I bet I can buy the universe for a shilling.' Hong said sleepily."

"This is a shit story! You're just making it up!" I was yelled at by Daniel, the stubborn seven year old I happened to be babysitting for on that Tuesday night.

"Daniel! Where on earth did you hear that word?" I couldn't believe I was acting so shocked, even though my family had raised me with traditional values and manners, it didn't mean the rest of the world was. And anyhow…you know how kids are these days…little bastards…

Daniel realized that he had done something wrong by swearing, and, in typical seven year old fashion, bounced around me uttering more curses than you'd hear on Jerry Springer. Well, not really because they bleep it out…but you can see there lips moving…so…you know that they….oh look! He's fallen over!

Tears immediately started to fall, he wailed as I suppressed the urge to laugh, don't get me wrong, I'm not a bitch or anything…but…he had it coming. I knelt down beside him and he stuck his head into my armpit and cried even harder, I stroked his chocolate hair and rubbed his back.

He composed himself half an hour later, and looked at me with a fearful expression, "You won't tell anyone? Will you?" He knew and I knew that I babysat some of his friends, and wouldn't they just love to know that their mate Daniel broke down into tears like a little girl. Mwhahaha!

I looked at him reassuringly and playfully nudged him in the arm, "Of course not, you big cry baby," Now I'm almost positive that I had said that in a lighthearted way. But Daniel just burst into tears again and wrapped his arms around my neck. Maybe I'd nudged him too hard?

It wasn't until an hour later when we'd finished watching Barney (aka the purple dinosaur with hilariously short arms), and after Daniel had made me take an oath never to tell anyone that he had cried twice, hugged a girl and watched Barney and joined in with the songs and danced…oops…I think I've said too much! Mwhahaha!

Anyway, he only calmed down when we'd finished watching Barney, I, on the other hand, was scarred for life, I mean, there's just something wrong with being that happy all the time and singing about brushing your teeth.

After I'd stopped the tape and turned off the TV, Daniel looked at me with sly eyes.

"Were you making that story up?"

"Yes," I looked at the clock, "and it's bed time for you."

"It really was shit."

"Thank you," I said sarcastically as I climbed up the stairs behind him.

He looked at me with a dumb-founded expression.

Ah, yes. Only seven, he knows swear words, but he has not yet learned of the power that is sarcasm. In my experience as a babysitter (knocking on four years now), I knew that sarcasm blossomed around the age of nine.

"Never mind," I said, shaking my head.

"Can you make up another story, but a better one?" He asked, looking up at me with big green eyes when we were outside his bedroom door.

I wondered where this was leading to, I wondered what he meant by better. Better to him would probably be Auntie Lee was a gangster rapper and disemboweled Hong and Paul while eating a bacon sandwich…and that, my dears, just wasn't going to happen…it would have to be a grilled ham and cheese sandwich or a chocotastic poptarts or Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. I would have to go and raid the fridge after I tucked him in.

"What are you getting at, Daniel?"

"Like that one you told me ages ago…with the ponies and the princess and the fairies!"

I looked at him suspiciously…okay…this kid was way too enthusiastic about those kinds of things...I hoped his parents would understand…

#DAYDREAM#

(A teenage Daniel and his parents are sat around the dinner table with another teenage boy…Greg…)

Mom: It's so nice to finally meet one of Daniel's friends. Isn't it honey?

Dad: It sure is. How long have you been friends, Greg?

Greg: Umm….Sir? Myself and Daniel are a bit more than friends…if you know what I mean…

Daniel:worried eyes:

Greg:smiles: We're partners

Dad: Oh…you're going into business together too?

Greg: No…I don't think you understand…we're partners, you big goof!

Dad: In crime?

Mom:gasp: Oh, Daniel, you know that's not the way.

Dad: Son…if you're having problems you can talk to us

Greg: Yeah? Just like that time you sent him to boot camp? Yeah! You were really listening there!

Dad:glares at Greg:

Mom: You told him about that?

Daniel: Yeah. We're partners, silly!

Dad: Now, I don't like you calling your mother names, Son.

Greg:glaring at Dad: bitch…

Daniel: Dad! We're gay! As in a couple!

Mom:faints:

Greg: Oh yeah…all night long baby:pelvic thrusts:

Dad: Why you Son of a –

#END DAYDREAM#

Daniel was giving me a weird look as I smiled at my future prediction.

"Okay…I'll tell you the story…" I grinned wickedly as we walked into the room. I would poison his mind yet! Mwhahaha!

#ONE HOUR LATER#

Wow…that kid was one tough cookie. I shut the door behind me, I'd only just gotten him to go to sleep. I crept down the stairs and into the Lounge looking for my bag, I found it under the coffee table.

I got out one of my DVDs, 'Stand By Me', my favorite. I usually brought DVDs to watch after I'd gotten the kids to fall asleep, until the parents got home. I know I could have done something more productive like homework, but you know…STAND BY ME!

I was almost half way through the movie when Daniel came down in his 'Barbie' pajamas. He didn't say anything, just clambered up on the sofa next to me and snuggled in. He was a pain in the ass sometimes but he just looked so cute at that moment. I just wanted to squeeze him!

"OW!" Daniel yelped when I squeezed him…I didn't mean to. Insert sly grin here.

"Sorry." I kissed him on the head and ruffled his hair.

We both eventually fell asleep.

#Author's Note: I just realized – the babysitter doesn't have a name…how strange strokes chin Reviews are greatly appreciated. Flame if you must. Feedback is feedback. I won't complain.

I'm eating yogurt! Why is that cool? I don't know…but it is!