Dear Reader,

This chapter is very short again. But you need to know Nazihah's thoughts. The next one will go back to Ali and Yasmine and will be longer. Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while but I've been at band camp and busy besides. I will try to update as much as possible, but it will be more difficult now with my summer technically over due to band. Thanks for your patience.

-LunarLitLover

Preview for Next Time: Ali is still angry at Yasmine. Their akwardness and thoughts while among the Bedouins.

Recap: Yasmine has been rescued from the Sultan's camp by a angry Ali and company that finally know Yasmine's true identity as the Princess. Ja'far is still using Nazihah as his bedmate, and he is also re-plotting his takeover of the throne.

Chapter 18: Nazihah (Saihah)

Friends for Freedom

For the next few days, I was lucky. Ja'far was mentally distracted and busy writing and planning something. He had no time for sex, so I was temporarily liberated from my torture.

And make no mistake, what he did to me – the rape, I suppose – truly was torture. In all the months that it had been happening, it got no better. It was still nearly unbearable and just as scarring as the first time it occurred. The only difference now was that I expected it. But I was not, by any means, desensitized to such a horrible crime.

Each time he touched me, I shivered inside. Each time he pushed his sweating body against mine, I wanted to vomit. And it never got any better. Each and every time it happened, I felt revolted and disgusted, and these feeling were just as strong as during the first occurrence.

Actually, it is almost worse now. Now I have to actively participate. For the first month or two, Ja'far was satisfied with solely my body. But then he got bored and tried to convince me to give him something back. I did nothing for a while, until he threatened to torture me again – like when he was trying to find out about Yasmine - if I did not make nights entertaining for him. I had no choice; I now had to be his partner instead of just the object of his passion.

But even though I would now kiss him and sit on top of him, I would still want to pull away at his touch and run when he called for me. I had no feelings for him, except the feeling of intense hatred.

Needless to say, I was desperate for a way out of my predicament. I prayed to Allah at night for deliverance from such blasphemous torture. But there wasn't a person in this world who would listen to my complaints, who would save me. Only my late mistress, Yasmine, would have done so.

Therefore, when Yasmine reappeared out of the blue to us one summer eve, I had hope. I might yet be saved. However, she disappeared as quickly as she'd come.

Part of me was happy for my friend to be free as she truly desired.

But only a small part.

As much as I wanted Yasmine to live her own, free life, I needed freedom from the horrid ways of Ja'far. I needed to be free of him soon, for I was rotting from the inside-out. My soul was slowly dying, and without freedom from its torturer, it wouldn't be long before it completely shut down. Only Yasmine could provide me with such freedom, so I found myself selfishly wishing for her return to the Sultan.

Odd, that she and I both desire freedom above all else.